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My daughter talks so much. And about random things. With extreme detail. I now know what it’s like to talk to me, I get it loud and clear. And I’m sorry if I’ve ever talked to you in this way. I love talking to her, I really do. But sometimes it’s a lot.
Mine too! Sometimes I zone out and then feel so guilty. 🙄🤪1 -
Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »Can't find the thread to post this but..
The little things..
I miss the little things that felt like tiny comforts but now show themselves as the massively significant things they were.
I remember the days when I would venture out solo in the mornings. I would pick the most crowded restaurant where people of all ages but mostly elderly would be gathered in groups for their morning coffees and breakfasts.
I would grab a newspaper or a book and would sit with my coffee. Reading the pages, I would let the drowning sounds of overlapping conversations wash over me. It was my way to absorb the social collective while reveling in my introverted moments. At other times, I would go with a friend where conversations ranging from the meaning of life to Lord of the Rings discussions on Elven history would fill the hours over cup after cup of delicious coffee. I miss how the world was and what we were allowed to do.
I miss greeting friends and loved ones with a hug. I miss being with my parents and NOT worrying the either I, or my kids, are asymptomatic carriers of the virus. I miss the days where my FB feed was anything other than arguing about how best to best this virus that noone really understands.
I miss the days when I wasn't slapped in the face every single day with inhumanity all its selfish behaviours.3 -
You know... This is going to be long, so I'll throw it into a spoiler so people can skip if they want.
Summary... Kids, conflict, covid, and the silver lining.Some of you may know that I've been a bit of an emotional wreck. The other day the burden of everything seemed especially heavy and I started listing in my brain everything I was struggling with, to justify why I felt so broken...
Dec 30 - my fiancé broke up with me and my kids.. By text message. I never saw him again, and his kids dropped my stuff off in the yard. January my dad was critically ill and almost didn't make it. March covid hit, my dad became ill again and almost didn't make it, again. My youngest daughter came out as non binary, changed pronouns, and changed their name. That wasn't bad, but it was a shock and a huge adjustment. They were also being bullied relentlessly, and becoming increasingly anxious and suicidal. April and May I was trying to figure out how to manage homeschool AND work from home and both kids were beggng me to get them out of their dad's home permanently (we currently share 50/50).
Summer was full of drama, kids begging for move, anxiety, tears, stress and me trying to figure out what to do and how to do it.
Fast forward to now... Lawyers are now involved, family therapy, third party (unwelcome family) intervention... And a whole lotta tears and emotion. It's not been easy.
BUT...
When I look at all those things... I realize... The breakup was the best thing that could have happened to me and my kids. We're closer than ever and I think covid and lockdown would have been a nightmare in his home (with his 5 kids and my 2). Plus I hadn't sold mine yet, so I got to stay in the place I love!
My dad survived BOTH times and is still going strong.
Covid and school cancellation stopped the bullying and brought me and my kids so much closer to each other. Coming out eased some of my youngest child's internal struggle. And the drama with the ex has led to my kids finally getting the therapy they needed... And as of yesterday, being with me full time - on the recommendation of the therapist. (it's only temporary right now, but it's a huge start, and the kids are so relieved).
Plus I've saved a tonne in gas money and had 8 months of snuggles with my senior cat (who has new life) and her irritating (and wonderful) younger cat brother.
Every bad / stressful thing has resulted in some really good things. And as long as I can keep my head up, and my form solid... I can handle the weight of all these burdens.
It was a tough day today... But my kids stood up to some bullies in their family, and even that was a win.
Anyhoo, sorry for the novel, but I needed to share it somewhere to remind myself that I'm not falling apart... Things are coming together.
#silverlining10 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »Can't find the thread to post this but..
The little things..
I miss the little things that felt like tiny comforts but now show themselves as the massively significant things they were.
I remember the days when I would venture out solo in the mornings. I would pick the most crowded restaurant where people of all ages but mostly elderly would be gathered in groups for their morning coffees and breakfasts.
I would grab a newspaper or a book and would sit with my coffee. Reading the pages, I would let the drowning sounds of overlapping conversations wash over me. It was my way to absorb the social collective while reveling in my introverted moments. At other times, I would go with a friend where conversations ranging from the meaning of life to Lord of the Rings discussions on Elven history would fill the hours over cup after cup of delicious coffee. I miss how the world was and what we were allowed to do.
I miss greeting friends and loved ones with a hug. I miss being with my parents and NOT worrying the either I, or my kids, are asymptomatic carriers of the virus. I miss the days where my FB feed was anything other than arguing about how best to best this virus that noone really understands.
I miss the days when I wasn't slapped in the face every single day with inhumanity all its selfish behaviours.
I miss when Facebook posts were "here's what I had for breakfast." I can do without everyone's election commentaries, politicizing the pandemic, and all the other nonsense.6 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »You know... This is going to be long, so I'll throw it into a spoiler so people can skip if they want.
Summary... Kids, conflict, covid, and the silver lining.Some of you may know that I've been a bit of an emotional wreck. The other day the burden of everything seemed especially heavy and I started listing in my brain everything I was struggling with, to justify why I felt so broken...
Dec 30 - my fiancé broke up with me and my kids.. By text message. I never saw him again, and his kids dropped my stuff off in the yard. January my dad was critically ill and almost didn't make it. March covid hit, my dad became ill again and almost didn't make it, again. My youngest daughter came out as non binary, changed pronouns, and changed their name. That wasn't bad, but it was a shock and a huge adjustment. They were also being bullied relentlessly, and becoming increasingly anxious and suicidal. April and May I was trying to figure out how to manage homeschool AND work from home and both kids were beggng me to get them out of their dad's home permanently (we currently share 50/50).
Summer was full of drama, kids begging for move, anxiety, tears, stress and me trying to figure out what to do and how to do it.
Fast forward to now... Lawyers are now involved, family therapy, third party (unwelcome family) intervention... And a whole lotta tears and emotion. It's not been easy.
BUT...
When I look at all those things... I realize... The breakup was the best thing that could have happened to me and my kids. We're closer than ever and I think covid and lockdown would have been a nightmare in his home (with his 5 kids and my 2). Plus I hadn't sold mine yet, so I got to stay in the place I love!
My dad survived BOTH times and is still going strong.
Covid and school cancellation stopped the bullying and brought me and my kids so much closer to each other. Coming out eased some of my youngest child's internal struggle. And the drama with the ex has led to my kids finally getting the therapy they needed... And as of yesterday, being with me full time - on the recommendation of the therapist. (it's only temporary right now, but it's a huge start, and the kids are so relieved).
Plus I've saved a tonne in gas money and had 8 months of snuggles with my senior cat (who has new life) and her irritating (and wonderful) younger cat brother.
Every bad / stressful thing has resulted in some really good things. And as long as I can keep my head up, and my form solid... I can handle the weight of all these burdens.
It was a tough day today... But my kids stood up to some bullies in their family, and even that was a win.
Anyhoo, sorry for the novel, but I needed to share it somewhere to remind myself that I'm not falling apart... Things are coming together.
#silverlining
So many silver linings.. love this post and the biggest of hugs to you. 🤗2 -
seepersaud wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »Can't find the thread to post this but..
The little things..
I miss the little things that felt like tiny comforts but now show themselves as the massively significant things they were.
I remember the days when I would venture out solo in the mornings. I would pick the most crowded restaurant where people of all ages but mostly elderly would be gathered in groups for their morning coffees and breakfasts.
I would grab a newspaper or a book and would sit with my coffee. Reading the pages, I would let the drowning sounds of overlapping conversations wash over me. It was my way to absorb the social collective while reveling in my introverted moments. At other times, I would go with a friend where conversations ranging from the meaning of life to Lord of the Rings discussions on Elven history would fill the hours over cup after cup of delicious coffee. I miss how the world was and what we were allowed to do.
I miss greeting friends and loved ones with a hug. I miss being with my parents and NOT worrying the either I, or my kids, are asymptomatic carriers of the virus. I miss the days where my FB feed was anything other than arguing about how best to best this virus that noone really understands.
I miss the days when I wasn't slapped in the face every single day with inhumanity all its selfish behaviours.
I miss when Facebook posts were "here's what I had for breakfast." I can do without everyone's election commentaries, politicizing the pandemic, and all the other nonsense.
I am the fastest scroller when it comes to people posting endless pictures of their kids and pets, but I'd rather see every detail of J-bird's sheet ghost Halloween costume than the things you just mentioned.
1 -
I think some of the things that ail me are related to food allergies. I drank a coffee drink with milk in it last night and I got super sick but I knew milk doesn't treat me right. I had some scrum-diddly-umptious chow mein for lunch and now I feel run down, headache and such.
3 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My daughter talks so much. And about random things. With extreme detail. I now know what it’s like to talk to me, I get it loud and clear. And I’m sorry if I’ve ever talked to you in this way. I love talking to her, I really do. But sometimes it’s a lot.
Mine too! Sometimes I zone out and then feel so guilty. 🙄🤪
I do that with my dh. But without the guilt.
3 -
@KickassAmazon76
I just read your story from Dec. 30-now. Wow, you've been through some major life adjustments and still see the good, see tomorrow as a better brighter day. I so admire your strength and courage!!
As difficult as everything has been, it has brought you here, to these moments with your kids. To being grateful for the good things happening in your life.
You sound like a true fighter, just like your dad.3 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »You know... This is going to be long, so I'll throw it into a spoiler so people can skip if they want.
Summary... Kids, conflict, covid, and the silver lining.Some of you may know that I've been a bit of an emotional wreck. The other day the burden of everything seemed especially heavy and I started listing in my brain everything I was struggling with, to justify why I felt so broken...
Dec 30 - my fiancé broke up with me and my kids.. By text message. I never saw him again, and his kids dropped my stuff off in the yard. January my dad was critically ill and almost didn't make it. March covid hit, my dad became ill again and almost didn't make it, again. My youngest daughter came out as non binary, changed pronouns, and changed their name. That wasn't bad, but it was a shock and a huge adjustment. They were also being bullied relentlessly, and becoming increasingly anxious and suicidal. April and May I was trying to figure out how to manage homeschool AND work from home and both kids were beggng me to get them out of their dad's home permanently (we currently share 50/50).
Summer was full of drama, kids begging for move, anxiety, tears, stress and me trying to figure out what to do and how to do it.
Fast forward to now... Lawyers are now involved, family therapy, third party (unwelcome family) intervention... And a whole lotta tears and emotion. It's not been easy.
BUT...
When I look at all those things... I realize... The breakup was the best thing that could have happened to me and my kids. We're closer than ever and I think covid and lockdown would have been a nightmare in his home (with his 5 kids and my 2). Plus I hadn't sold mine yet, so I got to stay in the place I love!
My dad survived BOTH times and is still going strong.
Covid and school cancellation stopped the bullying and brought me and my kids so much closer to each other. Coming out eased some of my youngest child's internal struggle. And the drama with the ex has led to my kids finally getting the therapy they needed... And as of yesterday, being with me full time - on the recommendation of the therapist. (it's only temporary right now, but it's a huge start, and the kids are so relieved).
Plus I've saved a tonne in gas money and had 8 months of snuggles with my senior cat (who has new life) and her irritating (and wonderful) younger cat brother.
Every bad / stressful thing has resulted in some really good things. And as long as I can keep my head up, and my form solid... I can handle the weight of all these burdens.
It was a tough day today... But my kids stood up to some bullies in their family, and even that was a win.
Anyhoo, sorry for the novel, but I needed to share it somewhere to remind myself that I'm not falling apart... Things are coming together.
#silverlining
So many silver linings.. love this post and the biggest of hugs to you. 🤗
Thank you! 😊 ❤️@KickassAmazon76
I just read your story from Dec. 30-now. Wow, you've been through some major life adjustments and still see the good, see tomorrow as a better brighter day. I so admire your strength and courage!!
As difficult as everything has been, it has brought you here, to these moments with your kids. To being grateful for the good things happening in your life.
You sound like a true fighter, just like your dad.
Thank you! I can't say I've held it together well as these things have happened. There have been soooooo many tears and breakdowns.
But I'm still here, and alive, and all things considered, life is pretty freaking good still! ❤️2 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »My daughter talks so much. And about random things. With extreme detail. I now know what it’s like to talk to me, I get it loud and clear. And I’m sorry if I’ve ever talked to you in this way. I love talking to her, I really do. But sometimes it’s a lot.
My son does this and he's only 8. And yes, it's a lot. Also, he does not get it from me as I am not a chatterbox and don't talk to everyone like I am an infinite repository of knowledge.
Lol. My daughter is 8 as well. I am only a chatterbox with certain people. Otherwise the chatter is contained to my own head. I definitely know I’m not in intimate repository of knowledge too. Does your son FaceTime? Maybe they can talk each other’s ear off. 😂0 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »You know... This is going to be long, so I'll throw it into a spoiler so people can skip if they want.
Summary... Kids, conflict, covid, and the silver lining.Some of you may know that I've been a bit of an emotional wreck. The other day the burden of everything seemed especially heavy and I started listing in my brain everything I was struggling with, to justify why I felt so broken...
Dec 30 - my fiancé broke up with me and my kids.. By text message. I never saw him again, and his kids dropped my stuff off in the yard. January my dad was critically ill and almost didn't make it. March covid hit, my dad became ill again and almost didn't make it, again. My youngest daughter came out as non binary, changed pronouns, and changed their name. That wasn't bad, but it was a shock and a huge adjustment. They were also being bullied relentlessly, and becoming increasingly anxious and suicidal. April and May I was trying to figure out how to manage homeschool AND work from home and both kids were beggng me to get them out of their dad's home permanently (we currently share 50/50).
Summer was full of drama, kids begging for move, anxiety, tears, stress and me trying to figure out what to do and how to do it.
Fast forward to now... Lawyers are now involved, family therapy, third party (unwelcome family) intervention... And a whole lotta tears and emotion. It's not been easy.
BUT...
When I look at all those things... I realize... The breakup was the best thing that could have happened to me and my kids. We're closer than ever and I think covid and lockdown would have been a nightmare in his home (with his 5 kids and my 2). Plus I hadn't sold mine yet, so I got to stay in the place I love!
My dad survived BOTH times and is still going strong.
Covid and school cancellation stopped the bullying and brought me and my kids so much closer to each other. Coming out eased some of my youngest child's internal struggle. And the drama with the ex has led to my kids finally getting the therapy they needed... And as of yesterday, being with me full time - on the recommendation of the therapist. (it's only temporary right now, but it's a huge start, and the kids are so relieved).
Plus I've saved a tonne in gas money and had 8 months of snuggles with my senior cat (who has new life) and her irritating (and wonderful) younger cat brother.
Every bad / stressful thing has resulted in some really good things. And as long as I can keep my head up, and my form solid... I can handle the weight of all these burdens.
It was a tough day today... But my kids stood up to some bullies in their family, and even that was a win.
Anyhoo, sorry for the novel, but I needed to share it somewhere to remind myself that I'm not falling apart... Things are coming together.
#silverlining
Wow. I’m sorry you’ve gone through so much. That’s a lot! But what a great outlook you have, that’s amazing! Thanks for sharing.KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My daughter talks so much. And about random things. With extreme detail. I now know what it’s like to talk to me, I get it loud and clear. And I’m sorry if I’ve ever talked to you in this way. I love talking to her, I really do. But sometimes it’s a lot.
Mine too! Sometimes I zone out and then feel so guilty. 🙄🤪
It happens! I’m sure they zone out on me all the time too. Lol1 -
Why are mouse traps called mouse traps when all some of them appear to do is serve them dinner. I can almost hear them chuckling at me behind the walls, waiting for me to serve their next meal.
Mouse traps used to completely disappear on me, couldn't find them anywhere. I think the mice ate them just to put the fear of rodents in me.2 -
I had a dream last night that I went camping with @iMago @sweet_ermengarde @Motorsheen and @PlentyofProtein00 and y'all left me alone in the woods in the U.S and I'm not sure about how I feel about you guys this morning 😂7
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Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »I had a dream last night that I went camping with @iMago @sweet_ermengarde @Motorsheen and @PlentyofProtein00 and y'all left me alone in the woods in the U.S and I'm not sure about how I feel about you guys this morning 😂
who passed out first and did anybody draw on their face with a sharpie?6 -
Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »I had a dream last night that I went camping with @iMago @sweet_ermengarde @Motorsheen and @PlentyofProtein00 and y'all left me alone in the woods in the U.S and I'm not sure about how I feel about you guys this morning 😂
did you have a hitch in your step when you walked home ??2 -
Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »I had a dream last night that I went camping with @iMago @sweet_ermengarde @Motorsheen and @PlentyofProtein00 and y'all left me alone in the woods in the U.S and I'm not sure about how I feel about you guys this morning 😂
I love Mfp dreams, especially the ones where I wake up feeling romantically attached to someone and it takes like half the morning to fade and it only does so because his posts make me jealous and hurt that he can’t and will never be the literal guy of my dreams whose lap i sat on in the hot tub that was then a pool and then a torrential flood in the basement and we can’t go down there to fix it because we might get electrocuted but he bravely tries anyway and I scream as I realize that I’m still holding his hand and that I’ll be electrocuted too but then it’s fine because we’re in a van and it’s snowing and i’m coming down from the loft in his shirt and it smells like coffee and bacon
Edit: this is totally just an example7 -
Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »I had a dream last night that I went camping with @iMago @sweet_ermengarde @Motorsheen and @PlentyofProtein00 and y'all left me alone in the woods in the U.S and I'm not sure about how I feel about you guys this morning 😂
I love Mfp dreams, especially the ones where I wake up feeling romantically attached to someone and it takes like half the morning to fade and it only does so because his posts make me jealous and hurt that he can’t and will never be the literal guy of my dreams whose lap i sat on in the hot tub that was then a pool and then a torrential flood in the basement and we can’t go down there to fix it because we might get electrocuted but he bravely tries anyway and I scream as I realize that I’m still holding his hand and that I’ll be electrocuted too but then it’s fine because we’re in a van and it’s snowing and i’m coming down from the loft in his shirt and it smells like coffee and bacon
Edit: this is totally just an example
wait.
Bacon ?2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »I had a dream last night that I went camping with @iMago @sweet_ermengarde @Motorsheen and @PlentyofProtein00 and y'all left me alone in the woods in the U.S and I'm not sure about how I feel about you guys this morning 😂
I love Mfp dreams, especially the ones where I wake up feeling romantically attached to someone and it takes like half the morning to fade and it only does so because his posts make me jealous and hurt that he can’t and will never be the literal guy of my dreams whose lap i sat on in the hot tub that was then a pool and then a torrential flood in the basement and we can’t go down there to fix it because we might get electrocuted but he bravely tries anyway and I scream as I realize that I’m still holding his hand and that I’ll be electrocuted too but then it’s fine because we’re in a van and it’s snowing and i’m coming down from the loft in his shirt and it smells like coffee and bacon
Edit: this is totally just an example
wait.
Bacon ?
I know, that part was weird2 -
Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »I had a dream last night that I went camping with @iMago @sweet_ermengarde @Motorsheen and @PlentyofProtein00 and y'all left me alone in the woods in the U.S and I'm not sure about how I feel about you guys this morning 😂
I love Mfp dreams, especially the ones where I wake up feeling romantically attached to someone and it takes like half the morning to fade and it only does so because his posts make me jealous and hurt that he can’t and will never be the literal guy of my dreams whose lap i sat on in the hot tub that was then a pool and then a torrential flood in the basement and we can’t go down there to fix it because we might get electrocuted but he bravely tries anyway and I scream as I realize that I’m still holding his hand and that I’ll be electrocuted too but then it’s fine because we’re in a van and it’s snowing and i’m coming down from the loft in his shirt and it smells like coffee and bacon
Edit: this is totally just an example
the last dream i had about someone here was just a plain sexual dream but i fell asleep within the dream and when i woke up (still within the dream) she was still there too, but she'd gone and grabbed my leatherman and was ripping my teeth out with it and it took me like 2 more minutes to fully wake up IRL despite the pain6
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