Dad Jokes/Bad Jokes...
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My son asked me what condoms are for. I told him they were used to avoid questions like this one.6
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Quarantine has me so bored that I decided to read part of the dictionary. I've learned next to nothing.3
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The salesman at the furniture store told me that my new couch would seat five people without any problems. Where the hell am I going to find five people without any problems?!3
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I have this weird talent where I can identify what's inside a wrapped present. Its a gift6
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How can a Leopard change his spots?
By moving.2 -
The genie asked, "What's your first wish?"
Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!"
The genie nodded and said, "What's your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"3 -
My friend said to me, "My kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think would be a good replacement?"
I replied, "Cats. Cats love fish."2 -
I had the nastiest, rudest, slowest cashier at the store today.
I guess it's my own fault for using the self-service checkout.5 -
An eating contest is just the beginning of a *kitten* contest.2
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Apparently you can't use "Beefstew" as a password.
It's not Stroganoff3 -
A man got hit in the head with a can of coke. Thankfully he is alright because it was a soft drink.1
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Two fish were in a tank. One says to the other: "Shall I drive?"1
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I passed a Mount Olive Baptist Church while walking last week and was reminded that when Napoleon went to Mount Olive, Popeye got pissed.1
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Where does a General keep his armies?
In his sleevies.1 -
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
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A cheese sandwich walks into a bar....
Barman : "Sorry we don't serve food"..4 -
Does an Amish man rowboat his wife?4
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Why don't cows listen?
What ever you say goes in one ear and out the udder4 -
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminin side
So i wrecked the car while parking
Then i stopped ignoring her for no particulair reason1
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