Serious/heavy/deep/real stuff
Replies
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KosmosKitten wrote: »*snip*
Ah, still listening to Sawbones, eh?
They're fun. Ever grateful for the recommendation 👌🏿
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Well, this seems a good a place as any to say this. I would never admit this in my “real life” as too many people depend on me but....
I’ve been a caregiver all of my life. Growing up it was to my alcoholic, pill-popping, abusive mother (my dad conveniently checked out when I was 10) and ever since I’ve been into adulthood I’ve worked in a career where I take care of it people with severe developmental and mental health issues. I have an 8 year old that obviously I parent, as well.
My friends all come to me for support and I pride myself on always being there for them as I do love them. I’m sick of dating as I feel as I’m always just taking on another person to “mother”.
Since COVID I’ve been working massive overtime and am burnt out. I’m so sick of taking care of other people and not myself.
There. I said it.
And I feel better.
I don’t need any advice or pats on the back for what I do. I just needed to vent and be heard.
❤️16 -
forestfreek wrote: »Well, this seems a good a place as any to say this. I would never admit this in my “real life” as too many people depend on me but....
I’ve been a caregiver all of my life. Growing up it was to my alcoholic, pill-popping, abusive mother (my dad conveniently checked out when I was 10) and ever since I’ve been into adulthood I’ve worked in a career where I take care of it people with severe developmental and mental health issues. I have an 8 year old that obviously I parent, as well.
My friends all come to me for support and I pride myself on always being there for them as I do love them. I’m sick of dating as I feel as I’m always just taking on another person to “mother”.
Since COVID I’ve been working massive overtime and am burnt out. I’m so sick of taking care of other people and not myself.
There. I said it.
And I feel better.
I don’t need any advice or pats on the back for what I do. I just needed to vent and be heard.
❤️
Totally get this. There are times I think if one more person needs something from me I am going to scream. I don't and just get on with it, but a break would be good just every once in awhile.
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forestfreek wrote: »Well, this seems a good a place as any to say this. I would never admit this in my “real life” as too many people depend on me but....
I’ve been a caregiver all of my life. Growing up it was to my alcoholic, pill-popping, abusive mother (my dad conveniently checked out when I was 10) and ever since I’ve been into adulthood I’ve worked in a career where I take care of it people with severe developmental and mental health issues. I have an 8 year old that obviously I parent, as well.
My friends all come to me for support and I pride myself on always being there for them as I do love them. I’m sick of dating as I feel as I’m always just taking on another person to “mother”.
Since COVID I’ve been working massive overtime and am burnt out. I’m so sick of taking care of other people and not myself.
There. I said it.
And I feel better.
I don’t need any advice or pats on the back for what I do. I just needed to vent and be heard.
❤️
Totally get this. There are times I think if one more person needs something from me I am going to scream. I don't and just get on with it, but a break would be good just every once in awhile.
So funny you said this.
My thought after I wrote my post was “if one more person calls my name (mommy, Jennie, hey you) I’m gonna scream.
Glad someone else gets it ❤️
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It's really funny how life works. For many years, I've had a career that I loved but overworked myself, I've even tried other jobs to see if it was better for me mentally because I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life and I was exhausted mentally.
Now I think of myself before cancer and I miss her but in a way I really don't. I wish I could tell her to take better care of herself. I wish I could have given that girl more love, grace and appreciation instead of working myself crazy, not eating right and not doing things that really made me happy because I always put others first.
It's easy to get caught up in working crazy hours, jobs that don't make us happy because we always want more, a bigger house, more stuff... but at the end of the day, none of it matters if you don't have your health.
It may be a little too late for me but I refuse to be a statistic and I will not be scared to live anymore, I refuse to do things that don't make me feel good or that doesn't make me a better person anymore.
Health is the real wealth and only the ill truely understands this. For anyone who is reading this, please be kind to yourself 💙 you deserve a long healthy life.16 -
Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »It's really funny how life works. For many years, I've had a career that I loved but overworked myself, I've even tried other jobs to see if it was better for me mentally because I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life and I was exhausted mentally.
Now I think of myself before cancer and I miss her but in a way I really don't. I wish I could tell her to take better care of herself. I wish I could have given that girl more love, grace and appreciation instead of working myself crazy, not eating right and not doing things that really made me happy because I always put others first.
It's easy to get caught up in working crazy hours, jobs that don't make us happy because we always want more, a bigger house, more stuff... but at the end of the day, none of it matters if you don't have your health.
It may be a little too late for me but I refuse to be a statistic and I will not be scared to live anymore, I refuse to do things that don't make me feel good or that doesn't make me a better person anymore.
Health is the real wealth and only the ill truely understands this. For anyone who is reading this, please be kind to yourself 💙 you deserve a long healthy life.
I’m so very proud of you ☺️4 -
Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »It's really funny how life works. For many years, I've had a career that I loved but overworked myself, I've even tried other jobs to see if it was better for me mentally because I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life and I was exhausted mentally.
Now I think of myself before cancer and I miss her but in a way I really don't. I wish I could tell her to take better care of herself. I wish I could have given that girl more love, grace and appreciation instead of working myself crazy, not eating right and not doing things that really made me happy because I always put others first.
It's easy to get caught up in working crazy hours, jobs that don't make us happy because we always want more, a bigger house, more stuff... but at the end of the day, none of it matters if you don't have your health.
It may be a little too late for me but I refuse to be a statistic and I will not be scared to live anymore, I refuse to do things that don't make me feel good or that doesn't make me a better person anymore.
Health is the real wealth and only the ill truely understands this. For anyone who is reading this, please be kind to yourself 💙 you deserve a long healthy life.
You are a gift. Thank you. ♥️3 -
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Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »It's really funny how life works. For many years, I've had a career that I loved but overworked myself, I've even tried other jobs to see if it was better for me mentally because I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life and I was exhausted mentally.
Now I think of myself before cancer and I miss her but in a way I really don't. I wish I could tell her to take better care of herself. I wish I could have given that girl more love, grace and appreciation instead of working myself crazy, not eating right and not doing things that really made me happy because I always put others first.
It's easy to get caught up in working crazy hours, jobs that don't make us happy because we always want more, a bigger house, more stuff... but at the end of the day, none of it matters if you don't have your health.
It may be a little too late for me but I refuse to be a statistic and I will not be scared to live anymore, I refuse to do things that don't make me feel good or that doesn't make me a better person anymore.
Health is the real wealth and only the ill truely understands this. For anyone who is reading this, please be kind to yourself 💙 you deserve a long healthy life.
I’m so very proud of you ☺️
And I am proud of you too ❤twitchandshout wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »It's really funny how life works. For many years, I've had a career that I loved but overworked myself, I've even tried other jobs to see if it was better for me mentally because I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life and I was exhausted mentally.
Now I think of myself before cancer and I miss her but in a way I really don't. I wish I could tell her to take better care of herself. I wish I could have given that girl more love, grace and appreciation instead of working myself crazy, not eating right and not doing things that really made me happy because I always put others first.
It's easy to get caught up in working crazy hours, jobs that don't make us happy because we always want more, a bigger house, more stuff... but at the end of the day, none of it matters if you don't have your health.
It may be a little too late for me but I refuse to be a statistic and I will not be scared to live anymore, I refuse to do things that don't make me feel good or that doesn't make me a better person anymore.
Health is the real wealth and only the ill truely understands this. For anyone who is reading this, please be kind to yourself 💙 you deserve a long healthy life.
You are a gift. Thank you. ♥️
I appreciate your friendship ❤Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »It's really funny how life works. For many years, I've had a career that I loved but overworked myself, I've even tried other jobs to see if it was better for me mentally because I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life and I was exhausted mentally.
Now I think of myself before cancer and I miss her but in a way I really don't. I wish I could tell her to take better care of herself. I wish I could have given that girl more love, grace and appreciation instead of working myself crazy, not eating right and not doing things that really made me happy because I always put others first.
It's easy to get caught up in working crazy hours, jobs that don't make us happy because we always want more, a bigger house, more stuff... but at the end of the day, none of it matters if you don't have your health.
It may be a little too late for me but I refuse to be a statistic and I will not be scared to live anymore, I refuse to do things that don't make me feel good or that doesn't make me a better person anymore.
Health is the real wealth and only the ill truely understands this. For anyone who is reading this, please be kind to yourself 💙 you deserve a long healthy life.
You are such a breath of fresh air. ❤️
You're inspiring words are never taken lightly, T. Keep reaching for the stars 🙂
I hope it can reach someone who needs it. I will continue to try to make a difference and help for as long as I have left on this earth ❤ love ya girl! Xo
Hugs back at you ❤5 -
My sister's husband is apparently actively dying. My sister and I are not close at all, but I do love her and wish she didn't have to deal with her husband dying.
It's been a bit of a whipsaw. First he had a bad bladder infection that wasn't going away, then he had cancer, and it had already metastasized to bone and spleen, but it was a curable cancer. And now today, apparently my mother is keeping my sister's 6 year old daughter because my brother-in-law is actively dying and making scary noises so it's best the little girl is out of the way, and "cousin who has done hospice work for 25 years and is a nurse" is up here to be with Sister during this time. So she has good on-the-ground help.
I am the most local to her of all of us so I said I will bring food over or run errands or whatever. I am autistic, and I really never got to know him very well (since my sister and I really don't get along well) and so I'm not floored by the emotion of "someone I love is dying". And I view this as useful because that way I can support the people I love who are going through all the emotions. I think I will make my mother some soup and bread so that she has something tasty and easy to eat through all this. And it gives me something to do.14 -
AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »My sister's husband is apparently actively dying. My sister and I are not close at all, but I do love her and wish she didn't have to deal with her husband dying.
It's been a bit of a whipsaw. First he had a bad bladder infection that wasn't going away, then he had cancer, and it had already metastasized to bone and spleen, but it was a curable cancer. And now today, apparently my mother is keeping my sister's 6 year old daughter because my brother-in-law is actively dying and making scary noises so it's best the little girl is out of the way, and "cousin who has done hospice work for 25 years and is a nurse" is up here to be with Sister during this time. So she has good on-the-ground help.
I am the most local to her of all of us so I said I will bring food over or run errands or whatever. I am autistic, and I really never got to know him very well (since my sister and I really don't get along well) and so I'm not floored by the emotion of "someone I love is dying". And I view this as useful because that way I can support the people I love who are going through all the emotions. I think I will make my mother some soup and bread so that she has something tasty and easy to eat through all this. And it gives me something to do.
Handling the food and errands is a lovely way to help. Having someone willing to take care of those things is an incredibly big help when dealing with such a difficult situation.
You are awesome for doing that.6 -
Argh
I hate when medical professionals give a time frame.
Why can't they leave loved ones without those feelings?
My sister was told by Hospice nurses on Monday to call the funeral home because dh has only got 4-5 days. Nurses came yesterday and reiterated what they told her Monday. Back in Oct. Hospice felt he only had 2 weeks.
Obviously her dh has his own agenda. Don't tell people things like that. It doesn't help and will happen when it happens. Don't make people feel even worse during the last days. 9 -
Argh
I hate when medical professionals give a time frame. Why can't they leave loved ones without those feelings?
My sister was told by Hospice nurses on Monday to call the funeral home because dh has only got 4-5 days. Nurses came yesterday and reiterated what they told her Monday. Back in Oct. Hospice felt he only had 2 weeks.
Obviously her dh has his own agenda. Don't tell people things like that. It doesn't help and will happen when it happens. Don't make people feel even worse during the last days.
I'm so sorry your sister is going through this.
I really don't think the funeral home wants to be notified until he's actually gone, particularly since these hospice nurses seem a bit off in their predictions.0 -
Had a fairly miserable day full of bad thoughts. I went into more detail on my feed, but I figure some of my thoughts wouldn't be allowed here anyway because they're "triggering." I hate myself and I've started looking at losing weight as, in the words of my mind, punishment for being this way. And not just letting myself get this fat, but also punishment for the stuff I can't fix, like my height or build or being bald. Felt a strange sense of satisfaction denying myself food. I wasn't very hungry today anyway, but part of me wanted others to see me barely eating so maybe they'd have an idea of how horrid I feel.
What a lousy vacation. My mother is upstairs having a panic attack, crying. Occasionally phrases drift downstairs, like "I'm so ashamed" and "I don't know where to turn." My stepdad is comforting her, telling her she needs to call the doctor tomorrow. Feel guilty because I got mad at her this morning for refusing to stand up to my stepfather when he's bullied me the last few days and for expressing disgust when all she did was say how good he is to her. He's put up with a lot of crap from her, from stay-in-bed-all-day depression, anxiety, and alcoholism and he deserves credit for it. But he's still a dick a lot of the time. Most of the time I pray/hope he drops dead soon (he's 86) even though I know after he's gone, my mom will probably either commit suicide or drink herself to death inside of two years.
Sometimes I think I feed off these negative emotions, mostly the ones about how much I hate myself and how I look.6 -
Argh
I hate when medical professionals give a time frame. Why can't they leave loved ones without those feelings?
My sister was told by Hospice nurses on Monday to call the funeral home because dh has only got 4-5 days. Nurses came yesterday and reiterated what they told her Monday. Back in Oct. Hospice felt he only had 2 weeks.
Obviously her dh has his own agenda. Don't tell people things like that. It doesn't help and will happen when it happens. Don't make people feel even worse during the last days.
I'm so sorry your sister is going through this.
I really don't think the funeral home wants to be notified until he's actually gone, particularly since these hospice nurses seem a bit off in their predictions.
Exactly!! My sister called them as the nurses suggested and that's what they told her. SMH Some of the nurses that've come through Hospice have been less than compassionate and very wrong about what they've suggested or said or told her to do in caring for him. There have even been lies from some of the management sources within the agency.
Thankfully most of them are the direct opposite and she's been so grateful for those. Even the chaplain and 1 of the social workers told my sister, 'well you've been doing this for so long you must be used to it by now'. I'm sorry? Used to watching your dh of 57 yrs. die little by little each day?
She did meet with a compassionate social worker who told her to not think ahead, to take each day as it comes. That helped her a lot. She knows what's coming, trust me, she's read enough on Alzheimer's to fill a library, but why steal what time she has left with dh by making her do *kitten* she doesn't even have to do yet??
I truly believe Hospice can be a godsend but some of the people working in our local agency need to be replaced.
Sorry, ranting about them seems to be my thing lately.
If there is any point from all of this, always question what people tell you, even if they're professionals and make it all sound good. A lot of the time it comes down to money and funding and incompetence. Don't ever be afraid of speaking up when something doesn't feel or sound right. 5 -
HerNameIsMischief wrote: »Had a fairly miserable day full of bad thoughts. I went into more detail on my feed, but I figure some of my thoughts wouldn't be allowed here anyway because they're "triggering." I hate myself and I've started looking at losing weight as, in the words of my mind, punishment for being this way. And not just letting myself get this fat, but also punishment for the stuff I can't fix, like my height or build or being bald. Felt a strange sense of satisfaction denying myself food. I wasn't very hungry today anyway, but part of me wanted others to see me barely eating so maybe they'd have an idea of how horrid I feel.
What a lousy vacation. My mother is upstairs having a panic attack, crying. Occasionally phrases drift downstairs, like "I'm so ashamed" and "I don't know where to turn." My stepdad is comforting her, telling her she needs to call the doctor tomorrow. Feel guilty because I got mad at her this morning for refusing to stand up to my stepfather when he's bullied me the last few days and for expressing disgust when all she did was say how good he is to her. He's put up with a lot of crap from her, from stay-in-bed-all-day depression, anxiety, and alcoholism and he deserves credit for it. But he's still a dick a lot of the time. Most of the time I pray/hope he drops dead soon (he's 86) even though I know after he's gone, my mom will probably either commit suicide or drink herself to death inside of two years.
Sometimes I think I feed off these negative emotions, mostly the ones about how much I hate myself and how I look.
This sounds like a terrible situation all the way around. Is there any possibility of moving away from the toxic environment? Getting professional help for yourself? There are resources available everywhere, call to find them. Somehow you need to separate yourself from your mother/stepdad's toxicity and improve your own outlook. Fix yourself, gain a better outlook about yourself, and then maybe you can confront your food issues the way they should be confronted.
Don't use food to fix or bash yourself. Do look to professionals for help and keep looking until you find the right fit. You might be at a point where medication can help, if you don't already take it.
Good luck to you!5 -
Hi Everyone... thank you to all of you that gave some good advise on how to deal with my 26 y/o step daughter. Some of you suggested that she needs to move out, she also wants to move out so she doesn't have to deal with us, which sounds good to me, but just not possible at this time. She does work, but only part time, and minimum wage. Things have calmed down for the most part, we are back on friendly terms, however she does lash-out at odd times, just not as bad as it was last week.
She was going to a therapist, but then decided on her own that she didn't need her, and that she would get more out of praying and possibly reading the bible (which, BTW, she never reads)... I feel that she needs at the very least to go back into therapy, but also feel that she would get a better diagnosis from a psychologist. She has been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD. I think there is something more going on, such as Bi-Polar disorder. Her Father would be willing and supportive to get her checked out, but her Mom is against it. She has a cousin that went to a psychologist, was put on meds, and then ended up in the hospital a couple of times... they are (SD Mom & Cousins Mom) are blaming the meds.
Bottom line, she is an "adult" and the decisions are hers to make. We will continue to give her a stable environment, something she does not get at her Mom's home. We hope that she will start school soon, so that she can get into a better paying job, so that she can feel better about herself and be able to mostly support herself.
Thank you again for your thoughts, it was very helpful to me.
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A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?3 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
I have wondered this too0 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
I have wondered this too
I'm a go-through-the-motions person, and I'm jealous of people who have found their thing. I think for me it's having something to identify with/as... I don't have that so I feel kind of pointless. If that's not too abstract...6 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
a high degree of proficiency in many areas together with wide-ranging interests. It makes it hard to choose and hard to specialize.2 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
I have wondered this too
I'm a go-through-the-motions person, and I'm jealous of people who have found their thing. I think for me it's having something to identify with/as... I don't have that so I feel kind of pointless. If that's not too abstract...
I have experienced drive and ambition in my current job but lately (past year) I can’t get excited about it at all. I work for myself so it’s not a matter of feeling stuck working for someone else, and I work alone so its not office politics.
I think it has everything to do with my state of mind, which has been largely negative and panic-driven for the better part of the last year. I rely so much on external motivation because I just.... can’t most days.
And external motivation is exceedingly rare.
I’ve shopped around for supplements that can mimic the effects of speed (spoiler alert: legal ones don’t exist) just so I can have something to break down the mental barriers between me and productivity.
Every damn day is a struggle, and I desperately want to get back to the place where I love what I do.6 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
I can speak only for myself, and yes desire and the want for something more has something to do with it. Being able to take risks is huge too. However, there is some chance involved. Like if i had a family i may be less inclined to go all in and take big risks. I have always said ill bet on the one thing i have the most control over, myself 10/10 times. But im not sure it would be the same if setbacks or temporary failure impacted loved ones negatively. I still think anyone can search for better, but i think each path is going to be different.6 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
I have always been a go-through-the-motions person. I still am when it comes to earning a living.
I am 40 and I have very recently (very very recently) discovered I have a passion for causes. Like all causes are worth fighting for. I ran for breast cancer awareness, I ran for gender based violence awareness and did 16 Days of Activism in various platforms. Now I have signed up to bake cupcakes to raise funds for children with cancer. None of this brings in any form of money for me, but it makes my heart sing. I would never have got to this point if it hadn't been for my past experiences.
I don't know if that answers anything though8 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
I have wondered this too
I'm a go-through-the-motions person, and I'm jealous of people who have found their thing. I think for me it's having something to identify with/as... I don't have that so I feel kind of pointless. If that's not too abstract...
I'm a lot like you at times, but then I stop and think about it and what I'm jealous of. Most of the time it is because someone has found their thing and it's defined as their job. When I think of that, I realize I don't necessarily need what I do to be what defines me. I think of what is more important to me like my family and friends, and things I enjoy like going to the gym, music, food, movies, etc. and in those moments I've realized that I've actually have found my thing, it's just not that it isn't my job or what some would define as a their thing.
It's healthy and normal to want what others have, but it's also just as important to me to be thankful for what I have! Sometime I think if I could make a career out of the things I like to do and Love, and how awesome that would be. And in some cases it really would, but in other cases the enjoyment just may come out of it.
I have a passion for food, and good food. I worked in a kitchen for a long time, and at first it was great. However, about halfway through I was not very passionate about it, and it was more of go through the motions and burnout. Once I got out of working in the food industry, that passion reignited because it was no longer a chore but an enjoyment.
Just my thoughts.6 -
Versicolour wrote: »A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
I have always been a go-through-the-motions person. I still am when it comes to earning a living.
I am 40 and I have very recently (very very recently) discovered I have a passion for causes. Like all causes are worth fighting for. I ran for breast cancer awareness, I ran for gender based violence awareness and did 16 Days of Activism in various platforms. Now I have signed up to bake cupcakes to raise funds for children with cancer. None of this brings in any form of money for me, but it makes my heart sing. I would never have got to this point if it hadn't been for my past experiences.
I don't know if that answers anything though
I LOVE this ❤️❤️1 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
I have wondered this too
I'm a go-through-the-motions person, and I'm jealous of people who have found their thing. I think for me it's having something to identify with/as... I don't have that so I feel kind of pointless. If that's not too abstract...
I'm a lot like you at times, but then I stop and think about it and what I'm jealous of. Most of the time it is because someone has found their thing and it's defined as their job. When I think of that, I realize I don't necessarily need what I do to be what defines me. I think of what is more important to me like my family and friends, and things I enjoy like going to the gym, music, food, movies, etc. and in those moments I've realized that I've actually have found my thing, it's just not that it isn't my job or what some would define as a their thing.
It's healthy and normal to want what others have, but it's also just as important to me to be thankful for what I have! Sometime I think if I could make a career out of the things I like to do and Love, and how awesome that would be. And in some cases it really would, but in other cases the enjoyment just may come out of it.
I have a passion for food, and good food. I worked in a kitchen for a long time, and at first it was great. However, about halfway through I was not very passionate about it, and it was more of go through the motions and burnout. Once I got out of working in the food industry, that passion reignited because it was no longer a chore but an enjoyment.
Just my thoughts.
So simple but so insightful. Thanks1 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
I can speak only for myself, and yes desire and the want for something more has something to do with it. Being able to take risks is huge too. However, there is some chance involved. Like if i had a family i may be less inclined to go all in and take big risks. I have always said ill bet on the one thing i have the most control over, myself 10/10 times. But im not sure it would be the same if setbacks or temporary failure impacted loved ones negatively. I still think anyone can search for better, but i think each path is going to be different.
The idea of risk taking and who those risks might impact is an interesting point... thanks.1 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
Lack of opportunity to explore "that thing".
Aversion to risk.3 -
A serious question for hopefully some serious responses...
Why do you think some people find "their thing" - the thing they love or the thing they were "meant to do", while others simply go through the motions of day-to-day life?
Is it just chance?
Is it drive and desire for more/better?
Is it... ?
When I retired, I felt a little lost. I'd been working 50+ hours a week for 39 yrs.; my life was filled to the brim with working, living, breathing being a childcare provider along with being a mom of 3 who have now been on their own for 20 yrs. My friends told me now it was time for me, for whatever it was I've always wanted to do but never had time for. TBH, I was stumped. Still am a lot of the time.
I feel like I simply fill in little pockets of time with things to keep me busy. So I try to focus on things that make me feel needed, worthwhile, calm, happy. As far as having a passion, a calling or my thing, I'm not sure I'll ever find that. There are things I'd like to get into such as hiking but lack a hiking partner. I'd like to volunteer but between Covid and my introverted personality/lack of self-esteem, that hasn't happened.
I think drive has a lot to do with putting yourself out there and finding things you care about. Confidence, time constraints, enthusiasm; I don't think chance has as much to do with it because I believe, for the most part, we can create our own chances, our own opportunities in life.4
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