Serious/heavy/deep/real stuff
Replies
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KosmosKitten wrote: »I feel like it kinda sucks that I have to drag this thread up right before a holiday devoted to love and friendship, but... here goes:
As some of you know, my stepmother has a form of uterine cancer. A particularly aggressive version. She had chemotherapy through half of last year and then had surgery in Nov. to remove the offending tumor and affected nearby areas. Doctor and surgeon thought they had gotten all they could find, but continued with the remaining chemotherapy treatments to help blast any potentially offensive cells. This last week was supposed to be her last chemotherapy treatment, but... the tests show the cancer cells have come back and have showed up in small areas near her liver and some other organs, so they are having to move on to other therapy options.
Now, the doctor has *not* said "get your affairs in order" or implied palliative care yet, but the news still isn't good. And I can hear my father's fear, sadness and stress every time we talk about it. I worry about them both... and if I'm honest, I am not positive. The cancer she has has a recurrent rate of 95%. Usually, people who go into remission are lucky if they gain an extra five years. I know my dad and I are on the same wavelength in this regard.
My stepmother remains the same, not seeming to let anything bother her. She knows the news isn't great, but outside of the normal side effects from having surgery and chemotherapy, she seems to be feeling fine. No noticeable cancer symptoms so far and I imagine that's because the chemotherapy *was* keeping the growths at bay.
I'm just really worried. I don't think my dad can survive without her. I really, really don't. But given the information received and the survival rates, I fear that's where this is going... and quicker than anyone would have liked.
I'm so sorry
Hoping for the best for your family. 0 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »I feel like it kinda sucks that I have to drag this thread up right before a holiday devoted to love and friendship, but... here goes:
As some of you know, my stepmother has a form of uterine cancer. A particularly aggressive version. She had chemotherapy through half of last year and then had surgery in Nov. to remove the offending tumor and affected nearby areas. Doctor and surgeon thought they had gotten all they could find, but continued with the remaining chemotherapy treatments to help blast any potentially offensive cells. This last week was supposed to be her last chemotherapy treatment, but... the tests show the cancer cells have come back and have showed up in small areas near her liver and some other organs, so they are having to move on to other therapy options.
Now, the doctor has *not* said "get your affairs in order" or implied palliative care yet, but the news still isn't good. And I can hear my father's fear, sadness and stress every time we talk about it. I worry about them both... and if I'm honest, I am not positive. The cancer she has has a recurrent rate of 95%. Usually, people who go into remission are lucky if they gain an extra five years. I know my dad and I are on the same wavelength in this regard.
My stepmother remains the same, not seeming to let anything bother her. She knows the news isn't great, but outside of the normal side effects from having surgery and chemotherapy, she seems to be feeling fine. No noticeable cancer symptoms so far and I imagine that's because the chemotherapy *was* keeping the growths at bay.
I'm just really worried. I don't think my dad can survive without her. I really, really don't. But given the information received and the survival rates, I fear that's where this is going... and quicker than anyone would have liked.
I'm so sorry 💔 this pulls at my heart strings. I really hate that doctors give survival rates. When I was going through chemotherapy I met a lady who was given 6 months to live, she was told that 2 years ago. Yes, she has terminal cancer but the treatments she is doing right now works for her. For how long? Who knows but nobody knows when their day will come even if they aren't sick. There's alot of treatments out there.. maybe it's just me being in denial about my own reecurence rate but I refuse to think of myself or anyone else as a statistic. I hope that they can find something that works for her so she can stick around longer. My heart goes out to you and your family ❤ As hard as it is... your stepmother doesn't want to see you all sad and worried.3 -
Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »I feel like it kinda sucks that I have to drag this thread up right before a holiday devoted to love and friendship, but... here goes:
As some of you know, my stepmother has a form of uterine cancer. A particularly aggressive version. She had chemotherapy through half of last year and then had surgery in Nov. to remove the offending tumor and affected nearby areas. Doctor and surgeon thought they had gotten all they could find, but continued with the remaining chemotherapy treatments to help blast any potentially offensive cells. This last week was supposed to be her last chemotherapy treatment, but... the tests show the cancer cells have come back and have showed up in small areas near her liver and some other organs, so they are having to move on to other therapy options.
Now, the doctor has *not* said "get your affairs in order" or implied palliative care yet, but the news still isn't good. And I can hear my father's fear, sadness and stress every time we talk about it. I worry about them both... and if I'm honest, I am not positive. The cancer she has has a recurrent rate of 95%. Usually, people who go into remission are lucky if they gain an extra five years. I know my dad and I are on the same wavelength in this regard.
My stepmother remains the same, not seeming to let anything bother her. She knows the news isn't great, but outside of the normal side effects from having surgery and chemotherapy, she seems to be feeling fine. No noticeable cancer symptoms so far and I imagine that's because the chemotherapy *was* keeping the growths at bay.
I'm just really worried. I don't think my dad can survive without her. I really, really don't. But given the information received and the survival rates, I fear that's where this is going... and quicker than anyone would have liked.
I'm so sorry 💔 this pulls at my heart strings. I really hate that doctors give survival rates. When I was going through chemotherapy I met a lady who was given 6 months to live, she was told that 2 years ago. Yes, she has terminal cancer but the treatments she is doing right now works for her. For how long? Who knows but nobody knows when their day will come even if they aren't sick. There's alot of treatments out there.. maybe it's just me being in denial about my own reecurence rate but I refuse to think of myself or anyone else as a statistic. I hope that they can find something that works for her so she can stick around longer. My heart goes out to you and your family ❤ As hard as it is... your stepmother doesn't want to see you all sad and worried.
Thankfully, her doctors weren't the ones to mention a timeline (I don't think it's gotten to that stage yet, even if it has transpired into stage IV cancer). The general survival rate may have been mentioned or.. in typical Dad fashion, he went and looked up anything and everything he did like I did (like father, like daughter!) and read up on it.
Not wanting to throw the doctor under the bus; she's a super nice lady. Told them to go travel (they want to visit here for my b-day in a couple of weeks and we've been quarantining since March and not breaking that, so they should be safe here) while they figure out a plan of attack. I think she probably mentioned to them both that it was a rather aggressive form of cancer, but I don't think she mentioned the survival rates, knowing that my stepmother didn't want to know/hear about it. Dad chose to take that entire burden on himself.
I just know it's not the news anyone wanted to hear. It's not the "we're out of options/time" speech, so there's still hope and treatment options, but I imagine they'll be more exhausting than the chemotherapy she's had so far. Honestly, when I read up on treatment options outside of what I knew (chemo, radiation and surgery), there's a lot!
She was contemplating sending out another letter to all our relatives to tell them the news.. but also to tell them to leave her alone and not pester her about it, but Dad told her not to because her last letter was "too mean".
That's the kind of person she is.
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@glassyo You're being super practical and that's a good trait to have in any career or role. You're on to bigger and better even if you can't see it yet.
@KosmosKitten It's not a drag to bring up personal concerns. They sound like a wonderful, complementary couple and I'm praying for the best outcomes for them both.2 -
@glassyo You're being super practical and that's a good trait to have in any career or role. You're on to bigger and better even if you can't see it yet.
@KosmosKitten It's not a drag to bring up personal concerns. They sound like a wonderful, complementary couple and I'm praying for the best outcomes for them both.
Heh, apparently to the point of getting commentary by the treating facility staff every time they go in for tests or to do chemo.
They usually spend hours playing Yahtzee on my stepmom's tablet. Apparently, they get quite a bit of positive gossip from the staff due to how they are. My dad hates leaving her and will spend the entire day doing things for her, playing games or taking naps in chairs together while she gets her chemo.
They are pretty cute together.
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KosmosKitten wrote: »@glassyo You're being super practical and that's a good trait to have in any career or role. You're on to bigger and better even if you can't see it yet.
@KosmosKitten It's not a drag to bring up personal concerns. They sound like a wonderful, complementary couple and I'm praying for the best outcomes for them both.
Heh, apparently to the point of getting commentary by the treating facility staff every time they go in for tests or to do chemo.
They usually spend hours playing Yahtzee on my stepmom's tablet. Apparently, they get quite a bit of positive gossip from the staff due to how they are. My dad hates leaving her and will spend the entire day doing things for her, playing games or taking naps in chairs together while she gets her chemo.
They are pretty cute together.
It's so hard not to worry, especially when you aren't right there with them to see what's going on.
It is awesome that he goes with her - I'm sure she appreciates having him there.
I'd go in with my husband for chemo and spend most of the time working, but the point was being there for him. Then they banned visitors from the hospital and that made it so much harder on him. He's not doing chemo any more, but I'm hoping they start letting people in by the time of his next appointment. Being there virtually is not the same.3 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »@glassyo You're being super practical and that's a good trait to have in any career or role. You're on to bigger and better even if you can't see it yet.
@KosmosKitten It's not a drag to bring up personal concerns. They sound like a wonderful, complementary couple and I'm praying for the best outcomes for them both.
Heh, apparently to the point of getting commentary by the treating facility staff every time they go in for tests or to do chemo.
They usually spend hours playing Yahtzee on my stepmom's tablet. Apparently, they get quite a bit of positive gossip from the staff due to how they are. My dad hates leaving her and will spend the entire day doing things for her, playing games or taking naps in chairs together while she gets her chemo.
They are pretty cute together.
It sounds like they've been lucky in finding and loving each other; they sound like such a sweet couple.
While it might not be an encouraging prognosis, never give up hoping because one never really knows. Wishing you all the best. 2 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »@glassyo You're being super practical and that's a good trait to have in any career or role. You're on to bigger and better even if you can't see it yet.
@KosmosKitten It's not a drag to bring up personal concerns. They sound like a wonderful, complementary couple and I'm praying for the best outcomes for them both.
Heh, apparently to the point of getting commentary by the treating facility staff every time they go in for tests or to do chemo.
They usually spend hours playing Yahtzee on my stepmom's tablet. Apparently, they get quite a bit of positive gossip from the staff due to how they are. My dad hates leaving her and will spend the entire day doing things for her, playing games or taking naps in chairs together while she gets her chemo.
They are pretty cute together.
It's so hard not to worry, especially when you aren't right there with them to see what's going on.
It is awesome that he goes with her - I'm sure she appreciates having him there.
I'd go in with my husband for chemo and spend most of the time working, but the point was being there for him. Then they banned visitors from the hospital and that made it so much harder on him. He's not doing chemo any more, but I'm hoping they start letting people in by the time of his next appointment. Being there virtually is not the same.
Yeah, I'm several states away and looking to move first to a new city in a month or two.. and then another country by the end of the year. I'm having a lot of conflicting emotions about this and a lot of guilt about things that were decided and planned well before we heard my stepmom's diagnosis.. or how it has progressed.
It's one of the very few times I hate that I moved states to follow my husband's career. I want to be nearby and hang out at home, to help my dad and have a pleasant time helping my stepmom do craft related things (we both crochet and sew) and help put together puzzles.
Oh man, it tore my dad up when she got hospitalized for something around Christmas. At first, no visitors were allowed because of Covid.. then it eased up and he was allowed to visit, but no one else. Then they went home together a day after Christmas. So they had Christmas together, albeit a day late. It just ended up being delayed tests for Covid that kept her in the hospital at that time, not her treatment or anything related to cancer.
I do still Skype/video call them weekly to catch up and see them, but yeah, not the same. Not hardly.3 -
I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and sometimes life just seems way too overwhelming... I don't think I will ever be free of it, but I can function as a normal human being most of the time so I'm counting that as a sucess...even if I am reliant on my meds to keep me going.3
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@glassyo You're being super practical and that's a good trait to have in any career or role. You're on to bigger and better even if you can't see it yet.
You're such a positive and supportive person. 😀
BUT let's have a little recap of this year so far...
1. A car ran over my foot. No lasting damage but it sets a precedent for my next injury which will be actually getting hit by a car. I'm not kidding. Ever since I started walking outside, my injuries have gotten progressively worse.
2. Because of this, I decided to start taking my phone with me so I bought a Running Buddy (a pouch that attaches to your bottoms by magnet.). My phone was a bit snug so I thought I'd try the fit without my back case on it. I tried taking the phone out again and the magnet wouldn't let it go. So it became unglued. I took it to a place to put it back together again and now I also need a new battery.
3. While putting this off, my job being in jeopardy thing happened.
4. I just worked up my tax return and, because I itemized my medical expenses last year, I'm taking a hit this year. I asked my boss if I was going to be able to afford funding my IRA and he didn't know what I was talking about. I reminded him and he says, "I don't fire you. You fire yourself." but like good naturedly. THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!
5. I had dental surgery Wednesday and I think I was supposed to have some of my implants put in but I don't think they were. My oral surgeon kept saying there was a lot of oozing. (This might have only been a preimplant surgery tho.)
6. Got my mail on Saturday and got a freaking jury summons wanting me to serve right before one of our deadlines and right near my birthday and, considering this year so far, farther than I would want to go from home.
We...are...SIX...WEEKS...into...the...year.
If I actually do lose my job, I won't end up with a new one. I'm really not that employable anymore. I don't have the patience for most people anymore and I'm set in my ways.
Not to mention, I've been mindlessly eating more than normal and put away most of a 2 lb box of Sees candy a client sent us. Most of it was just eating the outside chocolate part but it adds up and I'm pretty sure the weight I gained was true weight gain.9 -
My heart is hurting this morning. When I was going through chemotherapy treatments I've made a few friends . We all helped eachother get through it...talked for hours while getting our treatments. I made a special bond with 2 of them. We have texted eachother every now and then to check in on eachother. 1 week ago I texted one of them to check in and she said she was feeling great. This morning I just looked in the newspaper and she's in the obituary 💔 I don't know how to explain it but I'm feeling a "survivors guilt" . My heart feels broken that she won't see her daughter graduate this year, my heart is broken for her friends and family. Life is so unfair.23
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*peeks in*
*glares @MaltedTea *
I just talked to my boss and I'm not being fired and my jury summons was transferred to closer to home while also being transferred to after our busy season (well, one of them).
So now I can fund my IRA and decide to either buy a new phone or get the one I have fixed and make those purchases from Target and Walmart I've been putting off and...well...I'm probably still not going to reconnect my tv and landline since I kinda was thinking to disconnect them anyway. When sending the dvr back, the guy at the ups store was like, "OMG!" Yeah, it was old. I've been with my cable company forever.
And hopefully stop stress eating...sheesh!
I won't be able to help being hit by that car, tho. (I shouldn't smile. The more I think about it, the more I REALLY don't want to die in pain. And I'd probably just be maimed anyway.
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My coworker dropped dead in the parking lot a few months ago, and I think about him every time I walk past his empty desk.
He was one of those guys who was always smiling and never had a negative thing to say about anyone. We worked together for 12 years.
The guy was in amazing shape. Worked out every day and ate healthy. Made me think about my own mortality and what life is about.17 -
My coworker dropped dead in the parking lot a few months ago, and I think about him every time I walk past his empty desk.
He was one of those guys who was always smiling and never had a negative thing to say about anyone. We worked together for 12 years.
The guy was in amazing shape. Worked out every day and ate healthy. Made me think about my own mortality and what life is about.
Well, reading that, I'm kinda thinking it's about cake!
That really sucks. What was the cause of death?0 -
My coworker dropped dead in the parking lot a few months ago, and I think about him every time I walk past his empty desk.
He was one of those guys who was always smiling and never had a negative thing to say about anyone. We worked together for 12 years.
The guy was in amazing shape. Worked out every day and ate healthy. Made me think about my own mortality and what life is about.
Well, reading that, I'm kinda thinking it's about cake!
That really sucks. What was the cause of death?
Rare undetected heart issue3 -
@Miss_Chiev0us and @Danw586 My thoughts are with you both. The end of a life is such a sudden shock and leaves a hole in our lives, no matter what our relationship had been or how expected/unexpected it was. They've been a part of your life and now they're not. Not only is it a difficult concept to understand and accept to begin with, but terribly emotional for so many reasons.
My sister called me last night and I knew my BIL had passed away. I've always loved my sister to pieces and liked my BIL but ever since I retired 1 1/2 years ago I've been lucky enough to spend a lot more time with them and get to really know my BIL on a much more personal level. She's been the most devoted wife and mom that I know; her life revolved around him. Fortunately their dd had come to visit this weekend so she's not alone and when my niece goes back home, I'll be there. But as much as we all try to help, she's the one who has to live with the heart pain forever.
I will say this here but never to my sister but it was a Blessing for him; for the past few months+ it's been pure he!! for both of them.
This truly $u@ks.15 -
@Miss_Chiev0us and @Danw586 My thoughts are with you both. The end of a life is such a sudden shock and leaves a hole in our lives, no matter what our relationship had been or how expected/unexpected it was. They've been a part of your life and now they're not. Not only is it a difficult concept to understand and accept to begin with, but terribly emotional for so many reasons.
My sister called me last night and I knew my BIL had passed away. I've always loved my sister to pieces and liked my BIL but ever since I retired 1 1/2 years ago I've been lucky enough to spend a lot more time with them and get to really know my BIL on a much more personal level. She's been the most devoted wife and mom that I know; her life revolved around him. Fortunately their dd had come to visit this weekend so she's not alone and when my niece goes back home, I'll be there. But as much as we all try to help, she's the one who has to live with the heart pain forever.
I will say this here but never to my sister but it was a Blessing for him; for the past few months+ it's been pure he!! for both of them.
This truly $u@ks.
So sorry about your BIL, I hope your sister can find peace in all the happy moments they've had together ❤ He's in a better place now and your sister may not see it right now because she has lost the love of her life but it must be some kind of relief to not see him suffer anymore. Big hugs to you and your family xoxox3 -
@Miss_Chiev0us and @Danw586 My thoughts are with you both. The end of a life is such a sudden shock and leaves a hole in our lives, no matter what our relationship had been or how expected/unexpected it was. They've been a part of your life and now they're not. Not only is it a difficult concept to understand and accept to begin with, but terribly emotional for so many reasons.
My sister called me last night and I knew my BIL had passed away. I've always loved my sister to pieces and liked my BIL but ever since I retired 1 1/2 years ago I've been lucky enough to spend a lot more time with them and get to really know my BIL on a much more personal level. She's been the most devoted wife and mom that I know; her life revolved around him. Fortunately their dd had come to visit this weekend so she's not alone and when my niece goes back home, I'll be there. But as much as we all try to help, she's the one who has to live with the heart pain forever.
I will say this here but never to my sister but it was a Blessing for him; for the past few months+ it's been pure he!! for both of them.
This truly $u@ks.
My heart goes out to you and your family, losing someone is so hard - whether it is expected or not.
And you are right, it truly $u@ks. Big hugs.
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My sister called me last night and I knew my BIL had passed away. I've always loved my sister to pieces and liked my BIL but ever since I retired 1 1/2 years ago I've been lucky enough to spend a lot more time with them and get to really know my BIL on a much more personal level. She's been the most devoted wife and mom that I know; her life revolved around him. Fortunately their dd had come to visit this weekend so she's not alone and when my niece goes back home, I'll be there. But as much as we all try to help, she's the one who has to live with the heart pain forever.
I will say this here but never to my sister but it was a Blessing for him; for the past few months+ it's been pure he!! for both of them.
This truly $u@ks.
I know this has been an ongoing strain for you and your family and I'm so sorry for your loss 1 -
@Miss_Chiev0us and @Danw586 My thoughts are with you both. The end of a life is such a sudden shock and leaves a hole in our lives, no matter what our relationship had been or how expected/unexpected it was. They've been a part of your life and now they're not. Not only is it a difficult concept to understand and accept to begin with, but terribly emotional for so many reasons.
My sister called me last night and I knew my BIL had passed away. I've always loved my sister to pieces and liked my BIL but ever since I retired 1 1/2 years ago I've been lucky enough to spend a lot more time with them and get to really know my BIL on a much more personal level. She's been the most devoted wife and mom that I know; her life revolved around him. Fortunately their dd had come to visit this weekend so she's not alone and when my niece goes back home, I'll be there. But as much as we all try to help, she's the one who has to live with the heart pain forever.
I will say this here but never to my sister but it was a Blessing for him; for the past few months+ it's been pure he!! for both of them.
This truly $u@ks.
I’m sorry, Reenie0
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