Guys/Girls: What is your real opinion on..
Replies
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Motorsheen wrote: »I have found that I have become a bit more "real" irl. Historically, I worked to craft what people knew of me, but I'm more genuine now. It could be the years of therapy, it could be the anonymity of posting in the forums here and feeling a touch of acceptance. Who knows?
As far as being disappointed in a SO because of interactions/attention here... since becoming active on the forums I've probably become more set in the mindset that I appreciate the photos and the work/sacrifice of physical attributes from afar without overt acknowledgement. I dont post pics that would attract attention, in part, because being noticed makes me uncomfortable. I'm the same irl. Compliments or attention should be fun/joking/goofy or I find it suspect.
I'm completely different IRL. (trooth)
.... except for the burrito
(never leave home without one)
Wait...you DON'T reach around IRL? 😦
Please note, there's a lowercase 'c' in Completely.1 -
How would/did you react the first time your person invites you to an event for an org they are deeply involved in? Does that feel like a "step" to you?1
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »Do you think being on mfp impacts the way peeps see their SO? I mean
I've seen a few rl relationships tank here. I think that whilst its nice when you meet fun, lively , interesting people on here who are complimentary and kind.. do you think when the computer is turned off and they interact with their SO , they are in some way disappointed or dissatisfied . Maybe the grass is greener kinda thing.?
Thoughts?
Question 2.. does mfp change people? I wonder, does it make the shy... bolder? Does that carry over to real life? With girl empowerment and supporting each other here, does that make an impact in rl. 🤷♀️
What do you think?
I know a few times when one of the ladies here has had a problem and they're received lots of compassionate posts I've picked up a few tidbits I shared with my daughters , so there's definitely some good to be had here.
Q1. I'm not on here that much so my interactions are more like post and run than anything else, and almost exclusively with other women anyway. I do forget sometimes that the SO isn't quite up to date on fitness lingo and may have torn a strip off him once or twice for saying fat turns into muscle.
But that's about the extent of it.
Q2. No secret that it's sometimes easier to be open and candid from behind the anonymity of a screen. However, I'm just as shy IRL as ever, and I've been involved on forums and message boards for over 20 years, so it's not carrying over.2 -
Do you think you’ve ever been fully loved the way you want or need to be from a SO? And...do you think it’s even possible?
My answers are:
No and no.
I’m thinking it’s too much to expect from another human.4 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »Do you think being on mfp impacts the way peeps see their SO? I mean
I've seen a few rl relationships tank here. I think that whilst its nice when you meet fun, lively , interesting people on here who are complimentary and kind.. do you think when the computer is turned off and they interact with their SO , they are in some way disappointed or dissatisfied . Maybe the grass is greener kinda thing.?
Thoughts?
Question 2.. does mfp change people? I wonder, does it make the shy... bolder? Does that carry over to real life? With girl empowerment and supporting each other here, does that make an impact in rl. 🤷♀️
What do you think?
I know a few times when one of the ladies here has had a problem and they're received lots of compassionate posts I've picked up a few tidbits I shared with my daughters , so there's definitely some good to be had here.
@slimgirljo15
Q1: yes, I've been around long enough to watch the effect mfp has on relationships. Most go through a pattern, where the pressure one partner puts on the relationship by getting in shape is manifested. It doesn't mean all relationships resolve that pressure the same. I've seen divorces and splitups and craving of the confident contact that mfp provides, and I've seen inspiration for the remaining partner to improve. Neither of these is an mfp thing, it's just what happens anywhere when one partner changes the status quo.
Q1: before you came along, I basically used mfp as a social experiment. Being a nerd, it struck me as a decent place to test different aspects of personality. Back then, the boards were much more wild west than they are now, so testing and improving on myself were real things that I carried over to real life. So yes, the shy can be bolder, among many other scenarios. In this respect, mfp used to be unique among the boards I was on. Now with the heavier moderation (this is not comment on our current moderators, it's been moving this direction for five+ years), it's largely lost that quality. Individuals here can still accomplish the same, and certainly the relationships they develop can have a positive effect, but the public nature of seeing such has largely gone, imo.1 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »Do you think being on mfp impacts the way peeps see their SO? I mean
I've seen a few rl relationships tank here. I think that whilst its nice when you meet fun, lively , interesting people on here who are complimentary and kind.. do you think when the computer is turned off and they interact with their SO , they are in some way disappointed or dissatisfied . Maybe the grass is greener kinda thing.?
Thoughts?
Question 2.. does mfp change people? I wonder, does it make the shy... bolder? Does that carry over to real life? With girl empowerment and supporting each other here, does that make an impact in rl. 🤷♀️
What do you think?
I know a few times when one of the ladies here has had a problem and they're received lots of compassionate posts I've picked up a few tidbits I shared with my daughters , so there's definitely some good to be had here.
@slimgirljo15
Q1: yes, I've been around long enough to watch the effect mfp has on relationships. Most go through a pattern, where the pressure one partner puts on the relationship by getting in shape is manifested. It doesn't mean all relationships resolve that pressure the same. I've seen divorces and splitups and craving of the confident contact that mfp provides, and I've seen inspiration for the remaining partner to improve. Neither of these is an mfp thing, it's just what happens anywhere when one partner changes the status quo.
Q1: before you came along, I basically used mfp as a social experiment. Being a nerd, it struck me as a decent place to test different aspects of personality. Back then, the boards were much more wild west than they are now, so testing and improving on myself were real things that I carried over to real life. So yes, the shy can be bolder, among many other scenarios. In this respect, mfp used to be unique among the boards I was on. Now with the heavier moderation, it's largely lost that quality. Individuals here can still accomplish the same, and certainly the relationships they develop can have a positive effect, but the public nature of seeing such has largely gone, imo.
Don't fall off your chair, but I totally agree 100%
I gotta say, I liked the old days better.. loved the wild west 😄
Just lately in the last few months the forums have a feel like they are slowly dying.
Over the time I've been here I've seen the regular ebb and flow but its like the flow is not coming back.. 😔
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I've only been here a year+, what made it so wild? Just curious.0
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »Do you think being on mfp impacts the way peeps see their SO? I mean
I've seen a few rl relationships tank here. I think that whilst its nice when you meet fun, lively , interesting people on here who are complimentary and kind.. do you think when the computer is turned off and they interact with their SO , they are in some way disappointed or dissatisfied . Maybe the grass is greener kinda thing.?
Thoughts?
Question 2.. does mfp change people? I wonder, does it make the shy... bolder? Does that carry over to real life? With girl empowerment and supporting each other here, does that make an impact in rl. 🤷♀️
What do you think?
I know a few times when one of the ladies here has had a problem and they're received lots of compassionate posts I've picked up a few tidbits I shared with my daughters , so there's definitely some good to be had here.
@slimgirljo15
Q1: yes, I've been around long enough to watch the effect mfp has on relationships. Most go through a pattern, where the pressure one partner puts on the relationship by getting in shape is manifested. It doesn't mean all relationships resolve that pressure the same. I've seen divorces and splitups and craving of the confident contact that mfp provides, and I've seen inspiration for the remaining partner to improve. Neither of these is an mfp thing, it's just what happens anywhere when one partner changes the status quo.
Q1: before you came along, I basically used mfp as a social experiment. Being a nerd, it struck me as a decent place to test different aspects of personality. Back then, the boards were much more wild west than they are now, so testing and improving on myself were real things that I carried over to real life. So yes, the shy can be bolder, among many other scenarios. In this respect, mfp used to be unique among the boards I was on. Now with the heavier moderation, it's largely lost that quality. Individuals here can still accomplish the same, and certainly the relationships they develop can have a positive effect, but the public nature of seeing such has largely gone, imo.
Don't fall off your chair, but I totally agree 100%
I gotta say, I liked the old days better.. loved the wild west 😄
Just lately in the last few months the forums have a feel like they are slowly dying.
Over the time I've been here I've seen the regular ebb and flow but its like the flow is not coming back.. 😔
I think the real wild west was over before you came along, though I think you might have come around after the first major round of corrections by the mods. There have been several, as you are no doubt aware. Everyone's perceptions of when the good old days were is affected by when they came along, including for me.
Chit chat separating from F&G is what hastened this particular forum dying, though that is at least partly my fault. F&G is simply more popular, and there aren't enough people like us wanting talk rather than play games to keep this one alive. That coupled with more stringent moderation keeping the fun/goofy/mischievous people out has turned this one quiet.0 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »Do you think being on mfp impacts the way peeps see their SO? I mean
I've seen a few rl relationships tank here. I think that whilst its nice when you meet fun, lively , interesting people on here who are complimentary and kind.. do you think when the computer is turned off and they interact with their SO , they are in some way disappointed or dissatisfied . Maybe the grass is greener kinda thing.?
Thoughts?
Question 2.. does mfp change people? I wonder, does it make the shy... bolder? Does that carry over to real life? With girl empowerment and supporting each other here, does that make an impact in rl. 🤷♀️
What do you think?
I know a few times when one of the ladies here has had a problem and they're received lots of compassionate posts I've picked up a few tidbits I shared with my daughters , so there's definitely some good to be had here.
@slimgirljo15
Q1: yes, I've been around long enough to watch the effect mfp has on relationships. Most go through a pattern, where the pressure one partner puts on the relationship by getting in shape is manifested. It doesn't mean all relationships resolve that pressure the same. I've seen divorces and splitups and craving of the confident contact that mfp provides, and I've seen inspiration for the remaining partner to improve. Neither of these is an mfp thing, it's just what happens anywhere when one partner changes the status quo.
Q1: before you came along, I basically used mfp as a social experiment. Being a nerd, it struck me as a decent place to test different aspects of personality. Back then, the boards were much more wild west than they are now, so testing and improving on myself were real things that I carried over to real life. So yes, the shy can be bolder, among many other scenarios. In this respect, mfp used to be unique among the boards I was on. Now with the heavier moderation, it's largely lost that quality. Individuals here can still accomplish the same, and certainly the relationships they develop can have a positive effect, but the public nature of seeing such has largely gone, imo.
Don't fall off your chair, but I totally agree 100%
I gotta say, I liked the old days better.. loved the wild west 😄
Just lately in the last few months the forums have a feel like they are slowly dying.
Over the time I've been here I've seen the regular ebb and flow but its like the flow is not coming back.. 😔
I think the real wild west was over before you came along, though I think you might have come around after the first major round of corrections by the mods. There have been several, as you are no doubt aware.
Chit chat separating from F&G is what hastened this particular forum dying, though that is at least partly my fault. F&G is simply more popular, and there aren't enough people like us wanting talk rather than play games to keep this one alive. That coupled with more stringent moderation keeping the fun/goofy/mischievous people out has turned this one quiet.
Yeah, you have been here longer and I imagine it was very different to now but even in 6 years its way different. I think you are correct and certainly more stringent moderation has changed how we post. I can't count the times where I type something then delete it.. not wishing to provoke a rap on the knuckles 😒
You think F & G more popular than Chit Chat?
I have tons of bookmarks and on the app I can't see whether the thread Im posting in is in F & G or Chit Chat.. well, unless I go back to the first post, then I can see.0 -
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »
Yeah, and that ranged across personality types and agendas - some took advantage and posted raunchy things because they could get away with it. Some were desperate for validation (a very usual thing when so many people are working on self improvement and have a near limitless desire for affirmation/are starved for same at home). A few tended to exploit gray areas that were within the rules of the board and norms of society, but also pushed past where the rules intended/wanted to have them stop. I probably fall into that one. I did a lot of pointing at absurdities. Some of which still exist today. The dibs thing from the other day being among them - like how can actual adults get upset online over something that isn't binding for kids in real life? Yet there were are, and I bet many didn't think that was absurd at all. We're so bland that such a minor thing is appalling to most and was defended by ~30 emojis.
There was much more room for debate and friendly (and sometimes unfriendly) disagreement. This was before reaction buttons existed and mass butthurt over the woo/disagree choice.
In my opinion, mfp/ua don't really want a board community. Why should they? It costs money, takes resources, both paid and unpaid, and is nothing but a hassle on every front. They are officiating virtual fights between grownups for heavens sake. The answer is pretty easy - establish boring rules and moderate it into blandness. They took the only route they reasonable could. It's just not as fun, that's all.4 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »
Yeah, and that ranged across personality types and agendas - some took advantage and posted raunchy things because they could get away with it. Some were desperate for validation (a very usual thing when so many people are working on self improvement and have a near limitless desire for affirmation/are starved for same at home). A few tended to exploit gray areas that were within the rules of the board and norms of society, but also pushed past where the rules intended/wanted to have them stop. I probably fall into that one. I did a lot of pointing at absurdities. Some of which still exist today. The dibs thing from the other day being among them - like how can actual adults get upset online over something that isn't binding for kids in real life? Yet there were are, and I bet many didn't think that was absurd at all. We're so bland that such a minor thing is appalling to most and was defended by ~30 emojis.
There was much more room for debate and friendly (and sometimes unfriendly) disagreement. This was before reaction buttons existed and mass butthurt over the woo/disagree choice.
In my opinion, mfp/ua don't really want a board community. Why should they? It costs money, takes resources, both paid and unpaid, and is nothing but a hassle on every front. They are officiating virtual fights between grownups for heavens sake. The answer is pretty easy - establish boring rules and moderate it into blandness. They took the only route they reasonable could. It's just not as fun, that's all.
What do you mean dibsing isn't binding? 😲🥺 ( I'll have to go back and look, I didn't realise it caused a kerfuffle. )
I kinda thought it would be in their interest to have fun boards people like to visit.. people more likely to stay maybe.
I really thought there'd be a New Year influx and even that seemed a fizzer 😔
I just miss being able to post without dissecting every word for possible offense or rule breaking potential. 😫
I don't like jail.
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »
Yeah, and that ranged across personality types and agendas - some took advantage and posted raunchy things because they could get away with it. Some were desperate for validation (a very usual thing when so many people are working on self improvement and have a near limitless desire for affirmation/are starved for same at home). A few tended to exploit gray areas that were within the rules of the board and norms of society, but also pushed past where the rules intended/wanted to have them stop. I probably fall into that one. I did a lot of pointing at absurdities. Some of which still exist today. The dibs thing from the other day being among them - like how can actual adults get upset online over something that isn't binding for kids in real life? Yet there were are, and I bet many didn't think that was absurd at all. We're so bland that such a minor thing is appalling to most and was defended by ~30 emojis.
There was much more room for debate and friendly (and sometimes unfriendly) disagreement. This was before reaction buttons existed and mass butthurt over the woo/disagree choice.
In my opinion, mfp/ua don't really want a board community. Why should they? It costs money, takes resources, both paid and unpaid, and is nothing but a hassle on every front. They are officiating virtual fights between grownups for heavens sake. The answer is pretty easy - establish boring rules and moderate it into blandness. They took the only route they reasonable could. It's just not as fun, that's all.
What do you mean dibsing isn't binding? 😲🥺 ( I'll have to go back and look, I didn't realise it caused a kerfuffle. )
I kinda thought it would be in their interest to have fun boards people like to visit.. people more likely to stay maybe.
I really thought there'd be a New Year influx and even that seemed a fizzer 😔
I just miss being able to post without dissecting every word for possible offense or rule breaking potential. 😫
I don't like jail.
Dibs used to be respected, and it's definitely a sign of societal decline that it is questioned.
If the boards were a driver of business (people came here and then discovered premium, for example), that might be the case. :bigsmile:1 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »
Yeah, and that ranged across personality types and agendas - some took advantage and posted raunchy things because they could get away with it. Some were desperate for validation (a very usual thing when so many people are working on self improvement and have a near limitless desire for affirmation/are starved for same at home). A few tended to exploit gray areas that were within the rules of the board and norms of society, but also pushed past where the rules intended/wanted to have them stop. I probably fall into that one. I did a lot of pointing at absurdities. Some of which still exist today. The dibs thing from the other day being among them - like how can actual adults get upset online over something that isn't binding for kids in real life? Yet there were are, and I bet many didn't think that was absurd at all. We're so bland that such a minor thing is appalling to most and was defended by ~30 emojis.
There was much more room for debate and friendly (and sometimes unfriendly) disagreement. This was before reaction buttons existed and mass butthurt over the woo/disagree choice.
In my opinion, mfp/ua don't really want a board community. Why should they? It costs money, takes resources, both paid and unpaid, and is nothing but a hassle on every front. They are officiating virtual fights between grownups for heavens sake. The answer is pretty easy - establish boring rules and moderate it into blandness. They took the only route they reasonable could. It's just not as fun, that's all.
What do you mean dibsing isn't binding? 😲🥺 ( I'll have to go back and look, I didn't realise it caused a kerfuffle. )
I kinda thought it would be in their interest to have fun boards people like to visit.. people more likely to stay maybe.
I really thought there'd be a New Year influx and even that seemed a fizzer 😔
I just miss being able to post without dissecting every word for possible offense or rule breaking potential. 😫
I don't like jail.
Dibs used to be respected, and it's definitely a sign of societal decline that it is questioned.
If the boards were a driver of business (people came here and then discovered premium, for example), that might be the case. :bigsmile:
Ah.. you noticed 😄 premium.
I just figured that if people enjoy coming here then they'll hang around and maybe even use the weight control parts of the app.. nevermind, what was I thinking 🙄😄
To be honest though I don't know what it costs Mfp to have forums etc, nor how much they make. Is it profitable? Idk 🤷♀️0 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »
Yeah, and that ranged across personality types and agendas - some took advantage and posted raunchy things because they could get away with it. Some were desperate for validation (a very usual thing when so many people are working on self improvement and have a near limitless desire for affirmation/are starved for same at home). A few tended to exploit gray areas that were within the rules of the board and norms of society, but also pushed past where the rules intended/wanted to have them stop. I probably fall into that one. I did a lot of pointing at absurdities. Some of which still exist today. The dibs thing from the other day being among them - like how can actual adults get upset online over something that isn't binding for kids in real life? Yet there were are, and I bet many didn't think that was absurd at all. We're so bland that such a minor thing is appalling to most and was defended by ~30 emojis.
There was much more room for debate and friendly (and sometimes unfriendly) disagreement. This was before reaction buttons existed and mass butthurt over the woo/disagree choice.
In my opinion, mfp/ua don't really want a board community. Why should they? It costs money, takes resources, both paid and unpaid, and is nothing but a hassle on every front. They are officiating virtual fights between grownups for heavens sake. The answer is pretty easy - establish boring rules and moderate it into blandness. They took the only route they reasonable could. It's just not as fun, that's all.
What do you mean dibsing isn't binding? 😲🥺 ( I'll have to go back and look, I didn't realise it caused a kerfuffle. )
I kinda thought it would be in their interest to have fun boards people like to visit.. people more likely to stay maybe.
I really thought there'd be a New Year influx and even that seemed a fizzer 😔
I just miss being able to post without dissecting every word for possible offense or rule breaking potential. 😫
I don't like jail.
Dibs used to be respected, and it's definitely a sign of societal decline that it is questioned.
If the boards were a driver of business (people came here and then discovered premium, for example), that might be the case. :bigsmile:
Ah.. you noticed 😄 premium.
I just figured that if people enjoy coming here then they'll hang around and maybe even use the weight control parts of the app.. nevermind, what was I thinking 🙄😄
To be honest though I don't know what it costs Mfp to have forums etc, nor how much they make. Is it profitable? Idk 🤷♀️
Our value is probably us as data. Hence the app make money, the community loses money is my reasoning. Could be wrong, but I've been doing stuff in this arena for 20+ years.1 -
Do you think you’ve ever been fully loved the way you want or need to be from a SO? And...do you think it’s even possible?
My answers are:
No and no.
I’m thinking it’s too much to expect from another human.
To an extent. In truth, the expectations that we as females may have about love can ruin the efforts of others because we're stuck with this mentality of what love "should" be. We all love differently and like you said, it's too much to expect from another human being.2 -
Do you think you’ve ever been fully loved the way you want or need to be from a SO? And...do you think it’s even possible?
My answers are:
No and no.
I’m thinking it’s too much to expect from another human.
Yes and yes. My spouse probably loves me more than I love him at this point and goes out of his way to do his best, even if our "love languages" are on two different planets.
I don't doubt his love or his convictions.. or the things he says; I know he means them. The problem lies with me. I don't believe the things he says because I find myself to be unlovable or to be completely different than what he describes he sees in me.
Given that, I would have to say yes, it's possible, BUT.. it is probably rarer than most were led to believe when they were young OR that it might not be static (people grow and change over the years, for example, so what once was may not stay the same).1 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »
Yeah, and that ranged across personality types and agendas - some took advantage and posted raunchy things because they could get away with it. Some were desperate for validation (a very usual thing when so many people are working on self improvement and have a near limitless desire for affirmation/are starved for same at home). A few tended to exploit gray areas that were within the rules of the board and norms of society, but also pushed past where the rules intended/wanted to have them stop. I probably fall into that one. I did a lot of pointing at absurdities. Some of which still exist today. The dibs thing from the other day being among them - like how can actual adults get upset online over something that isn't binding for kids in real life? Yet there were are, and I bet many didn't think that was absurd at all. We're so bland that such a minor thing is appalling to most and was defended by ~30 emojis.
There was much more room for debate and friendly (and sometimes unfriendly) disagreement. This was before reaction buttons existed and mass butthurt over the woo/disagree choice.
In my opinion, mfp/ua don't really want a board community. Why should they? It costs money, takes resources, both paid and unpaid, and is nothing but a hassle on every front. They are officiating virtual fights between grownups for heavens sake. The answer is pretty easy - establish boring rules and moderate it into blandness. They took the only route they reasonable could. It's just not as fun, that's all.
I was initially “upset” because of recent situations that I had been in. I’m all for fun and flirting and such I had just never spoken to you and didn’t know who you were and so it rubbed me the wrong way at first. Never considered it to be absurd by any means and I also moved past it and said as much in the same thread.
2 -
88missycat88 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »
Yeah, and that ranged across personality types and agendas - some took advantage and posted raunchy things because they could get away with it. Some were desperate for validation (a very usual thing when so many people are working on self improvement and have a near limitless desire for affirmation/are starved for same at home). A few tended to exploit gray areas that were within the rules of the board and norms of society, but also pushed past where the rules intended/wanted to have them stop. I probably fall into that one. I did a lot of pointing at absurdities. Some of which still exist today. The dibs thing from the other day being among them - like how can actual adults get upset online over something that isn't binding for kids in real life? Yet there were are, and I bet many didn't think that was absurd at all. We're so bland that such a minor thing is appalling to most and was defended by ~30 emojis.
There was much more room for debate and friendly (and sometimes unfriendly) disagreement. This was before reaction buttons existed and mass butthurt over the woo/disagree choice.
In my opinion, mfp/ua don't really want a board community. Why should they? It costs money, takes resources, both paid and unpaid, and is nothing but a hassle on every front. They are officiating virtual fights between grownups for heavens sake. The answer is pretty easy - establish boring rules and moderate it into blandness. They took the only route they reasonable could. It's just not as fun, that's all.
I was initially “upset” because of recent situations that I had been in. I’m all for fun and flirting and such I had just never spoken to you and didn’t know who you were and so it rubbed me the wrong way at first. Never considered it to be absurd by any means and I also moved past it and said as much in the same thread.
Oh, I'm not upset at anyone about it. It makes me laugh more than anything that adults on a public forum can get under each other's skins that way. Heck, I said as much as the time, that I have a particular talent for such - Jo knows as much, I can piss her off on my best days. I both took no offense and intended none, but the silliness that anyone would take dibs seriously among adults was not lost on me - it's patently stupid, whether we have any relationship prior.
Good news is I undibsed you, so none of this is a problem and never happened. :bigsmile:
^which action, of course, is equally stupid.2
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