The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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hi hope everyone is doing well! I'm 4.5 months AF. never could i ever have imagined this. one day at a time taking my power back.
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Good Morn...YES on meditation. Consistency is key and this is a difficult area for me...I can so easily get distracted but I truly believe that 'regular' meditation will help me with that also. I really need to calm my mind and ground myself. I had a highly triggering day at work yesterday with several meltdowns reduced to bawl sessions and had to leave early. I couldn't even perform my job cause at this particular job I have to use my brain and it is detail oriented and my brain had gone offline due to my intense emotional state. I am reminding myself that my reaction is normal due to an abnormal situation. The goal is to consciously choose to respond rather than unconsciously react...a work in progress!!
I am having invasive thoughts & and my evil twin Lurleen is trying to beat us up for losing it and then I remember what Melody Beattie says that "falling apart is often how we get put back together." What I have learned from my meltdown day yesterday is 2 things #1 I am WAY too hard on myself!!! #2 THIS situation I am dealing with currently is really difficult and I underestimate the emotional/psychological toll this has taken on me over the years ~ it will not be an overnight fix. I am a strong, determined woman and I WILL work through this ~ messy bits and all!!
Happy sober day to all and Welcome to the newbies who add more support to our very supportive group!!
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https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/12/well/live/alcohol-abuse-drinking-treatment.html?action=click&module=Editors Picks&pgtype=Homepage
Very interesting article- many or some of you may know that I have been using Naltraxone; it does work. There is something called the Sinclair Method where you take the pill an hour before you plan on drinking; it reduces the intense cravings and allows your mind to rationalize "Ok I'm done after two drinks."
I got the prescription from my doctor who said it was invented for opioid addicts but is found to work better for alcohol dependent people.
For me, it's another tool in my sober tool box: Naltraxone, AA, therapy, reading books, listening to youtube Father Martin videos..... and tonight I am attending Women in Sobriety.
And it's non-addictive and has little side effects. I can stop it at anytime.4 -
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Good morning to all. Meditation has become an important part of my 1025 days of an alcohol free life. I do a session of breathwork/meditation at the end of my daily exercise and a meditation session at the end of the day. This routine has helped me with sleep issues.
Congrats on a successful journey!
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Good Morn...YES on meditation. Consistency is key and this is a difficult area for me...I can so easily get distracted but I truly believe that 'regular' meditation will help me with that also. I really need to calm my mind and ground myself. I had a highly triggering day at work yesterday with several meltdowns reduced to bawl sessions and had to leave early. I couldn't even perform my job cause at this particular job I have to use my brain and it is detail oriented and my brain had gone offline due to my intense emotional state. I am reminding myself that my reaction is normal due to an abnormal situation. The goal is to consciously choose to respond rather than unconsciously react...a work in progress!!
I am having invasive thoughts & and my evil twin Lurleen is trying to beat us up for losing it and then I remember what Melody Beattie says that "falling apart is often how we get put back together." What I have learned from my meltdown day yesterday is 2 things #1 I am WAY too hard on myself!!! #2 THIS situation I am dealing with currently is really difficult and I underestimate the emotional/psychological toll this has taken on me over the years ~ it will not be an overnight fix. I am a strong, determined woman and I WILL work through this ~ messy bits and all!!
Happy sober day to all and Welcome to the newbies who add more support to our very supportive group!!
We are here on earth to have an amazing life experience, but sometimes our experiences are so awful, they pave the way for brighter days. Kick Lurleen to the curb! And if she reappears, that's ok. You are getting stronger and stronger!5 -
Ok i went to Women for Sobriety group tonight. The main idea/message is delightful and positive. The participants were nice, but one new woman dominated and it was too much. It was also quite far from my house (45 min drive on the highway, so I am going to look inward and try to do less self help through outside resources and just chill out. Sometime, the pressure to be better is suffocating. I'm exhausted.7
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@RubyRed427 That is unfortunate about your experience and it is too bad one overly talkative woman marred the experience for you. And you are right; sometimes the pressure to be better can be too much. Sometimes I just have to tell myself, "you are not broken, you are fine just the way you are" and try to get myself to believe that. It is not always easy.5
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Up_n_Running wrote: »Seriously strong craving to go buy wine ! Aaaargh 😫
I am gona have to breath through it and distract myself with a film.
Think the craving hit cos it's Friday, it's sunny, and I am reminiscing about the days when me and my partner used to crack open a bottle together. But, I don't want a hangover tomorrow. Planning a trek together tomorrow so I don't want to miss that. Better pick out a good movie ! 🎥
Thinking of you! How is your tattoo healing? I bet you love it!3 -
Hi everyone, been a while since I posted.......its been 1200 days today since I have refrained . The first month for me was rough, but everyday after the first month got easier. We have wine and beer in the house, but it has NO, repeat NO effect of enticing me to drink. None.............Want to thank everyone for posting, I read everyday, lol, just dont post much. Again, just wanted to let folks know that it does get easier down the line........dont throw in the towel for a set back, I had stopped about 6 months before the 1200 days, and had a set back, but kept going and now its 1200 days............best of luck to everyone...........Lloyd11
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Last night, I felt compelled to go and get wine. So, I got a bottle at the local wine shop; it's so cute there. There were about 20 ladies painting wine glasses. They have art class, yoga classes, coffee bar and wine flights. Anyway, when I was walking around, I felt kind of ashamed of myself to be there since I know I should be sober. Anyway, I did buy a bottle. I came home. Drank two glass but put the cork on so tight, I was unable to open the bottle again. That was definitely a God blink!!! I took it as a nudge to knock it off.
Anyway, I am being honest with you all. I am drinking wine but no binging. The Naltraxone does take the edge off. Now sure when I'll get back to 100 percent sober. Maybe August.
p.s. My cousin is totally off the rails; his wife had enough. She literally caught him in bed with another woman. He hasn't been home since that horrible moment. I can't worry about them, because I have to worry about me!8 -
By the way, I am trying to overcome the guilt and shame associated with my alcohol dependence.
My sister has shown me that guilt and shame corrode the mind, body and soul. She is so hard on herself lately about the past. She thinks her drinking screwed up her kids; I reminded her that they probably didn't notice as much as she remembers. PLUS, her husband had a big hand in raising the kids since she worked 12 hour days and he was home. I did watch a motivational video about guilt and shame; it can be so harmful. I will try to work on myself and forgive, forgive and forgive.7 -
Hi everyone, been a while since I posted.......its been 1200 days today since I have refrained . The first month for me was rough, but everyday after the first month got easier. We have wine and beer in the house, but it has NO, repeat NO effect of enticing me to drink. None.............Want to thank everyone for posting, I read everyday, lol, just dont post much. Again, just wanted to let folks know that it does get easier down the line........dont throw in the towel for a set back, I had stopped about 6 months before the 1200 days, and had a set back, but kept going and now its 1200 days............best of luck to everyone...........Lloyd
Thanks for posting Lloyd. It always helps! 6 -
Hi Ruby and you are welcome. You know I was just thinking, that my brother who is one year older than me, quit completely in 2004. December of 2004 only after he got his 3rd DUI. It cost him 7000 dollars for court cost, attorney, etc. The judge made him go to courses, group sessions with about 10 other people who were sentenced to the same , that he had to attend as well, which was part of his sentence. He told me that they had one man in this group, guess its like counselling sessions who had his kids show up , and beg their father to please stop drinking........it really hit home with my brother, said that it was heart wrenching to watch the children plead with their father to stop.....that hit home and he stopped drinking and smoking cigarettes and marijuana and its been 16 years and a some months.......he has no desire, as well, his health is phenomenal and he now is retired and does hospice work and meals on wheels....talk about a 180 change....but he is happy and again, he had some rough times, but its behind him....take care, good luck and I appreciate everyone's post, it really helps..........Lloyd6
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Thanks for everyone's honesty. That's how we keep it real here at the Sober Squad. I also had wine last night....what was up with this weekend for some of us? Didn't feel bad today but didn't indulge when we went to a bar for lunch. Hubby had 2 beers so I was happy to be the driver on the way home.
We do what we can and try not to beat ourselves up about it. Period.6 -
Up_n_Running wrote: »Thanks for everyone's honesty. That's how we keep it real here at the Sober Squad. I also had wine last night....what was up with this weekend for some of us? Didn't feel bad today but didn't indulge when we went to a bar for lunch. Hubby had 2 beers so I was happy to be the driver on the way home.
We do what we can and try not to beat ourselves up about it. Period.
I can't believe you, me & Ruby drank at the weekend 🙈🙊
Must be something in the air....lol.
We try our best though. Sobriety isn't a straight road for everyone.
It happens. I'm so happy to be able to share in a safe place with you friends here on the thread. I drank again yesterday and felt so nauseous today, and it is a good reminder that the after effects stink.
Jen and Up_N_Running and any one else out there reading can identify that we cannot be perfect. But the most important thing is realizing that nothing really has changed; I am personally still unable to limit myself like a normal person.
Also, it's so important not to feel guilt over drinking this weekend. It happens. It may happen again and it may. not. One day at a time... is the perfect mantra.5 -
Up_n_Running wrote: »Confession time 😬
I drank a bottle of wine on Saturday when we came back from our hike. I have felt so many mixed emotions about it, but I'm hesitant to make too massive a deal over it. Instead I'm going to use it as a learning opportunity and try to understand why I drank. It was definitely a FOMO (fear of missing out) that came over me. And the whole 'one day at a time' thing went completely out the window. I sat panicked thinking well, are you NEVER drinking again ? Wow. It all just sneaked up on me. In a way its not a shock. My partner and brother have had drink in the house, alcohol is literally everywhere you look right now being the summer and all the outdoor seating.
I'm still very proud of myself. 4 months and 2 weeks and I have had 1 drinking session. That's pretty awesome I think.
Hope everyone is well. 😊 so glad to have this thread to post on. It is a help for me.
Yes FOMO is a real feeling and I understand how you felt. Your AF record is awesome!4 -
Hi Ruby and you are welcome. You know I was just thinking, that my brother who is one year older than me, quit completely in 2004. December of 2004 only after he got his 3rd DUI. It cost him 7000 dollars for court cost, attorney, etc. The judge made him go to courses, group sessions with about 10 other people who were sentenced to the same , that he had to attend as well, which was part of his sentence. He told me that they had one man in this group, guess its like counselling sessions who had his kids show up , and beg their father to please stop drinking........it really hit home with my brother, said that it was heart wrenching to watch the children plead with their father to stop.....that hit home and he stopped drinking and smoking cigarettes and marijuana and its been 16 years and a some months.......he has no desire, as well, his health is phenomenal and he now is retired and does hospice work and meals on wheels....talk about a 180 change....but he is happy and again, he had some rough times, but its behind him....take care, good luck and I appreciate everyone's post, it really helps..........Lloyd
Thanks for the share. Sounds like your brother is also doing well!! It is so nice to have a relative/sibling who shares the same goals.5 -
❤ Thinking and sending hugs to my accountability Sisters ❤
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Hello I’m new here and am on day 1 AF. I couldn’t afford to go to a rehabilitation for detoxing and have decided to do it on my own. A little background about myself ….. about maybe 2-3 yrs ago I got back into drinking after 5 yrs of AF. It started off with a shot glass of wine then soon shot of liquor and then wine became my go to. I would say I drank pretty much daily half a bottle to a bottle of wine until it started to made me feel no good. I switched over to hard seltzer like Truly or White Claws and it was low in calories plus nothing like beer. For a bit I felt good til now. I was a social drinker that became a solo drinker. There’s always all kinds of excuse for me to have a drink. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the nights with a racing heart and sweaty feet and palms. Not sure if it was due to drinking but I kept telling myself I have to cut back. I joined MFP to stay fit but how is drinking helping any I asked myself. It’s really hard to just go cold turkey. I finally got put on bp med but still the heart is racing here and there. So now I’m on day 1 trying to not drink. I feel irritable and very uncomfortable. Not sure if it’s because of cutting it out. I hope to stay AF and not let it continue to take over my life. Thank you all for listening10
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@LilyFlowerMFP congratulations on day 1. And to your 5 AF years prior. If you did it that long before you can do it again. I used to get the racing heart too but it was only when I drank wine. One night I actually thought I was having a heart attack and made an appointment the next day for a stress test. Turned out there was nothing wrong. Try to keep yourself as busy as you can to keep from thinking about drinking. When I was on day 1 I took lots of baths. Kept busy doing things away from the refrigerator. I hope you continue and know that you'll get a lot of support here. 💖6
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To All ... Hello The struggle is real! I am still not drinking and no plans to do so BUTTTTTT, I am smoking MJ aka Pot or as my Grandson refers to it, "Devil's Weed" It is legal here in Canada so why the HECK not!! Actually, it is one of the things I really missed doing when I stopped doing EVERYTHING & anything that was deemed wrong due to my religious convictions way back when. Of course, moderation is key & dependency is real for my addictive personality!!! It's a different beast for me than alcohol is though. It was interesting when it became legal here a few years back, and I thought, "Go figure, my timing sucks."
It has been a month btw since I made my life-altering decision to get out from under my micro-managed life in the "cult of my choosing." It is such a freeing feeling hard to describe for those who have never fallen under the spell of controlling, manipulative, gas-lighting people/organization. It's a gradual, progressive process that messes with our minds and hearts....I am SO thankful I made this move. I feel like I have a new lease on life...SO Thankful
May everyone be kind to yourselves no matter what!!!!!! 5 -
Welcome @LilyFlowerMFP. Your story is very interesting and shows how alcohol can have such a strong pull even after years. This is why I do not even take one drag off a cigarette. I would buy a pack immediately and I can't go back there. However, I have failed to achieve this with alcohol. Sigh.
Last night I got together with old college girlfriends. I was not planning on drinking...everyone but me was planning on spending the night. But at the last second I threw my pajamas into the car. At that moment I knew I would be drinking with them. As I expected, the alcohol was flowing. At one point, my friend's husband handed everyone a fireball shot. I took it in my hand but just had a sip. Regardless of me not doing shots, I am not patting myself on the back. I had way too much white wine and awoke sweating with a racing heart. Same old song and dance. We did have a good time and lots of laughs but honestly I would have enjoyed it more completely sober. I am mad at myself.
This week I will try to look at my sobriety as respecting my body. I am working on positive affirmations and do not want to beat myself up but still want to be accountable. It's a fine line for me.7 -
Last night was my going away party. It's sad to move away from my friends/family to a new country for the next 3-6 years but I did not have a drink and still had such a wonderful time.8
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Hi Friends,
It's been hard for me to stay consistent. Since I let alcohol in my life back in June, I have had a few days in a row sober and then a day or two of wine. Not overboard but enough to make sleep less good, make skin less clear, etc.
Also, the celebrations seem to always involve alcohol. So, I say to myself "why not?". And then the next day I say to myself "Why?". It's a tug of war. I am not giving up at all. I will get back on track. And the positive part is I have not had serious hangovers because I have not gone overboard like I used to last summer. I am learning.
I also went to therapy last week. She said something quite meaningful to me. She said that I seem to be searching for that rush, that excitement always even if it's not involving alcohol. She said you have to find things "to fill your cup " that do not involve risks. She said you are only as sick as your secrets. She believes I choose drama to force an issue that I am uncomfortable with. She said I need to do some soul searching and write down what i want.
Her words made an impact.
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Last night was my going away party. It's sad to move away from my friends/family to a new country for the next 3-6 years but I did not have a drink and still had such a wonderful time.
Good job- and this morning you had no regrets or hazy memory of the going away party. Best wishes on your new adventure. Sounds exciting!4
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