WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2021
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bananasandoranges wrote: »bananasandoranges wrote: »
how luck to fall asleep so quickly!
When I lie down or sit quietly, I fall asleep!
The last thing we used to do in a yoga class long ago was to lie down, close our eyes and tense then relax our feet, tense then relax our calves, and all the way up. That was OK because I usually got to the calves and fell asleep. I don't actually know what happens after the calves!
Occasionally, if I haven't fallen asleep in the first minute or so in bed, I'll do that.
Or I'll think, "What shoes should I wear tomorrow? They should be bla .... " and then I fall asleep.
M in Oz
I'm that tired.
But regarding the meditation thing, it's all the rage here and I constantly feel pressured into it.
The brain injury association often does a meditation/mindfulness thing at the start or finish of the gatherings.
The carer's organisations keep pressuring me to take a meditation/mindfulness class. I ask them for help and they send me heaps of information on medication/mindfulness. I've had texts and emails and all sorts about this one just recently ... they say, "If you feel you need a break and would like to learn a few tips on how to combat anxiety, stress and emotional set backs, join us in a 90 minute mindfulness session." It's like this mindfulness stuff is going to solve all my problems.
Pretty much everywhere I've turned for help around here offers me meditation/mindfulness.
For a while, I thought it might help but it doesn't help me ... and that was disappointing in a way ... so I began to think of things that DO help me.
Machka in Oz
If they impose mindfulnes at the start of a meeting one can do whatever you want! count sheep, do mathematical calculations! (oh that's another one, once I had a boyfriend when we had a horrible argument he started doing mathematical calculations (his accounts I think!) to totally occupy his mind).
I do remember going to some meditation things and not liking the approach so did my own approach whatever it was (I don't remember exactly), very secretly heretically.
I do!
During one session, we were to close our eyes and imagine we were walking through a green field and as we came over the hill, there was a .... COW (I thought, after all, it was a green field) ... hot air balloon. OK, I thought, a COW and a hot air balloon. By the end of the session, my cow had eaten the hot air balloon and I was jogging around the field. Everyone else was drifting away into the blue sky, apparently.
M in Oz3 -
Tracy has not been vaccinated, talked with Taliah she is said there is no way she is getting vaccinated, Sean and Jean aren't vaccinated
I wear and will wear a mask indefinitely until this nasty nasty pandemic has gone.3 -
I'm SO frustrated with all this vax crap I could just scream. Just got a call from our oldest DD and the clinic where she's working has now insisted that they vax. She's sorta been expecting this, but was hoping that they wouldn't push it. Now she has to make a decision whether to throw away all her hard work and education and quit or inject something into her body that she doesn't trust. AND they're trying to have a baby!!! (and she's got other issues on that front too) MAKES ME SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for listening. I just wanna cry.8 -
I went for a lovely mindful shop this afternoon, round to the deli, and then along the seafront to the fish market. The tide was very high, perhaps the highest I have seen it. Waves. Lovely breeze in my face. Life is good. I saw two little girls laughing together.
DH had to wait in for his new computer to arrive. It still hasn't come.
I've noticed that he's been happier and more flexible in his thinking recently. Not so stuck in his ways. It must be a reflection of the way I've been feeling.
Got my 9th anniversary badge from mfp today! I've known some of you a looooong time. :laugh:
Now to go and do a bit of rowing while listening to inspiring videos.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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bananasandoranges wrote: »Machka
what you say about mindfulness being disappointing for you.
that is like therapy too, for me. SOMETIMES.
I find it annoying that for almost every problem (personal, work, couple, family) you can read, at some point you should see a therapist, as a tidy conclusion for everything. As if that was going to automatically solve everything like a magic wand. First you have to find a GOOD therapist, who is a good listener and understands, and then has to be within one's price range and one needs the time for this, (including travel time). Therapists are not really as well-trained, up to date, here as in the USA, much more old fashioned, into psychoanalysis still very often! So just making an appointment just doesn't do it most of the time. I'm not adverse and have had some good experiences, and ok ones, but also some very disappointing wastes of time money and energy. I find it's a cop out way to end an article or text.
I agree ... it would cost "help" organisations time and money to arrange actual help for people (and likely some trial and error to get it right) but it's quick and easy and less expensive to have people do a mindfulness exercise.
Sure occasionally that might do the trick but not always and lately that seems to be the only trick in their bags.
Oh well.
Sleep now on a very windy night.2 -
VAX: sensitive subject! Apparently my sister was at odds with most of family and many of friends due to her anti-vax position. I abstained from writing and sent a link to this sensitive video on the subject.
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Heather - thank you! Sent an email to your yahoo account.0
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Guess I'm an odd ball among you! I don't meditate, I'm not mindful, I don't read self help books or watch videos that are supposed to improve you! I do pray!
Lisa ~ I hope your health improves greatly with the new prescription.
Carol in GA7 -
im sure others here pray as some have mentioned their monotheist practice!Guess I'm an odd ball among you! I don't meditate, I'm not mindful, I don't read self help books or watch videos that are supposed to improve you! I do pray!
Lisa ~ I hope your health improves greatly with the new prescription.
Carol in GA
mixed board! as is to be expected!
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Mindfulness-When I did Yoga regularly, one thing the instructor said is that yoga is supposed to be challenging enough that your mind can't wander off because it's supposed to focus on the poses. I find that to be true. I think it works for other activities as well, such as house cleaning. I did go to a sensory deprivation tank one time and actually found it rather relaxing.
Therapy-I decided to try therapy once for an issue and the advice I got was "just wait it out. It'll pass." That wasn't really helpful. It wasn't a "wait it out" kind of problem. I needed "tools" to deal with it, not an ignore and it'll go away attitude.
I'm not saying therapy is all bad. I am saying that it's not for everyone and by all means, if it helps you, do it. It just has not proven helpful for me. Perhaps my issues are not resolvable.
Tina in CA3 -
Valerie--Welcome
Lisa--Glad to hear they have a treatment plan that is working. I understand about no for sure answers. Last year when I had the hives for 10 months everyday, I got no answers and still worry they might come back.
Knew it was coming, but hoping I was wrong. But had a meeting this morning and they are making it a condition of employment to get the vaccine. Leaders have until Oct 1 rest of staff Nov 1. I have been here 34 years and hoping to retire from here. I can not get anyone to answer about having the antibodies. So made an appointment for DH and I to get the first shot next Friday the 20th at our doctor's office. I just pray I have no bad side effects, but admit I am scared. Finding out a lot of employees here have not gotten the shot. Going to be interesting.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND NE
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Julie ~ I know that others here pray!
Carol in GA3 -
Mindfulness/meditation. I am mindful and practice mindfulness; but I don't really meditate. I use some "centering" practices to get myself in a better frame of mind and heart while I work with the children. One of the best ways for me to center is to listen to water or run water over my hands. Sand works as well if we are outside playing. Just a minute or so helps me get the kinks out.
Happy belated birthday to Kim!
Welcome newbies! Ttfn xoxoxo. KJ Kelly1 -
Valerie--Welcome
Lisa--Glad to hear they have a treatment plan that is working. I understand about no for sure answers. Last year when I had the hives for 10 months everyday, I got no answers and still worry they might come back.
Knew it was coming, but hoping I was wrong. But had a meeting this morning and they are making it a condition of employment to get the vaccine. Leaders have until Oct 1 rest of staff Nov 1. I have been here 34 years and hoping to retire from here. I can not get anyone to answer about having the antibodies. So made an appointment for DH and I to get the first shot next Friday the 20th at our doctor's office. I just pray I have no bad side effects, but admit I am scared. Finding out a lot of employees here have not gotten the shot. Going to be interesting.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND NE
Vicki when you talk about getting an answer about having antibodies what do you mean?
Here if you have had COVID in the past 6 months, you don't need to get a shot. You get a "health pass" if you have had COVID recently. And you can't get a shot if you have had COVID in the past 3 months. I would imagine there are somewhat similar criteria elsewhere.
Tina, if you needed tools it might be that you needed more behavioural therapy rather than talk therapy.
Ideally a therapist has enough to offer both, (listen, talk, tools).
Here they are very big on talk therapy. I tried two ladies who were very nice but all they did was listen and one talked a bit but saying really simple things, not very deep, . I found it slightly pleasant to be listened to by someone kind but also frustrating and not clear if they deeply understood, and not really helpful. I have also seen someone who, as an (expensive!) behavioral therapist who wanted to get right down to "homework" in the 1st minutes, without any depth of connection or understanding. It felt really off and I went to only 1 session.
But I have also been to some people who were good, some time ago. I don't do well with distance therapy at all, though some people do very well with that.0 -
Stats for the day-
Slow walk w/family- 1hr 48min 37sec, 67elev, 2.80ap, walking at Kirby’s pace, 76ahr, 87mhr, 5.14mi= 480c
Strava app = 623c
Spin bike at gym, 51.03min, 11-16gear, 17.04amph, 11-16gear, 128ahr, 156mhr, 14.5mu= 465c
Walk gym to home- 11.44min, .53mi= 50c
Strava app = 64c
Total cal 10450 -
Did Denise Austin’s Get Fit Fast DVD then went for my walk. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Kathy Kaehler Basics DVD
Kylia – One time I had a pattern where the main part of the picture had the pattern on another piece of paper, but they also included info about how to make the letters so I just had to put the names inside the clouds. Wish I had a picture of it, but I made that a long time ago. So I assume that the bride/groom were in the pattern you got and you just had to add the names?
Barbara – you have no idea how much I miss my water aerobics class!!! See, I’m no longer a member at the Y, I go to a different gym now. They have always been real real clean. I didn’t think the Y was all that clean. And to be honest I’ll probably never again go to the gym where I used to take the Extremepump class. I never thought they were very clean at all. Leopards don’t change their spots. I used to take the water aerobics at the Y. Unfortunately (and I really don’t understand why, except the fact that having a pool involves liability), this gym doesn’t have a pool. They have a sauna. I’m surprised because doctors recommend water exercise for rehab for back surgery and other types of surgery
Lisa (((HUG)))
Julie – I’m so very sorry about your sister. I do hope she changes her mind and gets vaccinated. If anything, so that she can socialize more
M – I have very little respect for therapists. They have to really prove to me that they are worthy of my respect. The reason? I used to work with therapists, and one of them kept on and on about how every problem I had stems from the fact that my father abused me. He got very upset that I wouldn’t admit that my father abused me. There was a very good reason that I wouldn’t admit it. It didn’t happen!!! To me, every boy has a mommy issue and every girl has a daddy issue. Now in some cases, this is true. But not in every case.
Cow and hot air balloon – you have a great mind
Carol GA – guess you need to move over, I’m an odd ball too!!!
Stopped at the vacuum place because a tab in the hose broke. They said they could fix it. Then Vince went for his shot, went to the Salvation Army then Aldi where I thought peaches were on sale but they weren’t. There is no way on this green earth I’ll pay over $/lb for peaches! Not when they were just on sale for 89 cents (am I cheap or what???)
Ceramics tonight where I’ll pick up Snow White. Guess I’ll go work some more on the jigsaw puzzle. Just came in from the pool. I thought Vince would want to leave earlier for ceramics and pick up the vacuum part first, but I guess he’s going to do it another day.
Michele NC3 -
bananasandoranges wrote: »
Tina, if you needed tools it might be that you needed more behavioural therapy rather than talk therapy.
Ideally a therapist has enough to offer both, (listen, talk, tools).
Here they are very big on talk therapy. I tried two ladies who were very nice but all they did was listen and one talked a bit but saying really simple things, not very deep, . I found it slightly pleasant to be listened to by someone kind but also frustrating and not clear if they deeply understood, and not really helpful. I have also seen someone who, as an (expensive!) behavioral therapist who wanted to get right down to "homework" in the 1st minutes, without any depth of connection or understanding. It felt really off and I went to only 1 session.
But I have also been to some people who were good, some time ago. I don't do well with distance therapy at all, though some people do very well with that.
I actually had a similar experience. On the very first visit, I was assigned reading a book. The next session, we talked about what we read. I felt like I was in elementary school. It was not helpful. I was not a fan of her style and she was insanely expensive. I felt like she was looking for someone to blame and not really wanting to give me tools to deal with my situation. So, I have a good friend who is a good listener and is impartial and that's how I cope these days.
Tina in CA1 -
3 -
Knew it was coming, but hoping I was wrong. But had a meeting this morning and they are making it a condition of employment to get the vaccine. Leaders have until Oct 1 rest of staff Nov 1. I have been here 34 years and hoping to retire from here. I can not get anyone to answer about having the antibodies. So made an appointment for DH and I to get the first shot next Friday the 20th at our doctor's office. I just pray I have no bad side effects, but admit I am scared. Finding out a lot of employees here have not gotten the shot. Going to be interesting.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND NE
My whole department went for our Pfizer jabs back in May. The first had very little negative effect ... a bit tired. The second affected a few of us for just a few days. I had the jab on Wednesday and took Thursday & Friday off. I didn't feel sick ... really sore all over like I had done a massive workout for the first time in years. I recommend not climbing 100 + stairs and doing a running event in the days before the jab.
The only lingering effect were the enlarged lymph nodes.
Here, you would get the jabs whether or not you had COVID.
Therapists
After my husband's accident, while he was still in ICU, I went to one through my work EAP who did not seem to "get it" at all. I couldn't really express everything either at that point but all she did was to give me a bunch of clichés and, of course, "have you tried a mindfulness exercise?"
Then I was put in touch with a neuropsychologist and she was wonderful!Guess I'm an odd ball among you! I don't meditate, I'm not mindful, I don't read self help books or watch videos that are supposed to improve you! I do pray!
Lisa ~ I hope your health improves greatly with the new prescription.
Carol in GA
Not odd at all. That was No. 9 on my list.I just got an invitation to a 5 Week Mindfulness Program for Carers which I will ignore. For one thing, it's at a time when I'm at work (evidently carers are meant to have all kinds of time for such things). For another thing, Mindfulness leaves me more stressed and anxious.
However, over the past several weeks, I've been giving thought to what does help stress and anxiety. These are some of my conclusions:- Deal with the problem . For me, it's better to spend 1.5 hours a week actually solving aspects of things that are making me stressed than sitting and trying not to think about aspects of things that are making me stressed. In other words, if a messy house, or bill paying, or paperwork or other things are piling up - set aside some time and deal with them. Obviously I can't fix my main stressor but I can reduce the stress from secondary things.
- Prioritise . Deal with the most urgent of stressors first. Drop things which are not necessary or enjoyable.
- Exercise . Exercise gives me a feeling of accomplishment. If I've done nothing else in a day, but have walked a few km or climbed 27 flights of stairs or have gone for a run or bicycle ride, then I've accomplished something that day. I've burned some calories and increased my endorphin level and I've made a bit of progress toward my exercise goals.
- Nature . I love being outside. I generally feel better when I'm outside. I feel good when I'm surrounded by trees. Watching waves roll into shore makes me smile. I relax when I look out over blue water. And I was surprised how much I enjoyed planting bulbs in our garden!
So it's even better if I can combine exercise and nature. I had so much fun doing the 6 km trail run the other weekend ... probably the most fun I've had in a while! - Sleep . I am trying to get a bit more sleep each night and even more sleep on the weekends. It helps to have every other Friday off!
- Creativity, games, etc. . Since I have finished my degree, I have enjoyed things like my Rubiks Cube (still haven't got more than 3 sides, but I work on it from time to time) and my colouring books. I want to get into more photography again and I've got a few jigsaw puzzles I'd like to start soon. Colouring has been a revelation for me. I can lose myself in getting little details just right.
- Reading . That's something I've always enjoyed.
- Music . I enjoy listening to all sorts of different kinds of music. Different music for different moods. I often sing along and my husband kindly tells me I sing well. I'm pretty sure I don't really but there's something stress relieving about singing. However, one day I would like to get a keyboard and relearn to play piano.
- Prayer . "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks." (1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18) while I'm doing all of the above.
Lisa ... ((((( Hugs )))))
Machka in Oz0 -
I have a friend who quit his job and formed a new company with 3 other interior architects just before the stock market crashed in 2008. One way he kept an even keel was to focus on his feet calmly contacting the floor each step of the way to the copy or fax machine which was at the other end of the office. He also imagined a cone of white light around him providing a safe space for him when he was among panicking others. He is very successful today, 13 years later, though the group did have to make hard decisions about their new business venture. I sometimes say
"one, two, one, two" as a form of meditation when I need to narrow my focus or ignore distractions...or have insomnia.
I recently discovered that 2 of my close Nebraska friends have a strong belief in a spiritual realm and communicating with loved ones after they have died. I had 2-3 experiences myself and observed first hand a near death experience, so, intrigued by discovering my friends' convictions, I have ordered 3 books on the subject and am about to start reading the first one.
Karen in Virginia
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