Less Alcohol ~ OCTOBER 2021 ~ One Day At A Time 🍁
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... I got married in Telluride long ago at the Courthouse. We said our vows at the top of the mountain.....hit the designer chocolate shops and had a blast. Photographer was the mayor of Ophir at the time. Way better than Vegas
Telluride is a fantastic place for a wedding. My daughter, 24, is in a very serious relationship with a guy she met while they were both taking off a year to be a ski instructor. They are both in graduate school now. So I may be planning a wedding in the next year or two.
I didn’t even know Ophir had a mayor! How long ago did you get married? Wonder if he is still around?5 -
Hello and welcome! Yo our post could have been written by me when I first joined this group. Cutting way back in the alcohol will make such a difference with your weight loss goals. It’s so easy to drink every day out of habit. If you haven’t already, check out the resources at the very beginning of the thread - lots of good info.
Thank you for the welcome! I will check this out!5 -
I’ve been alcohol free for 6 weeks now and plan to keep it that way. At almost 38 years old I am looking forward to my first alcohol free Christmas this year. I started drinking young as a way to escape my *kitten* life… seemed like a good idea at the time but it’s a false friend and doesn’t bring anything good to the table. I’m glad I’ve finally cut that toxic b*tch loose 🤣🤣7
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Has anyone done Annie Grace's 30 Day Alcohol Experiment? Or read This Naked Mind?
I've part of a similar thread in another forum for a few years, and that's the go to resource that everyone uses there. It's what I did when I was trying to cut back, and it was hugely helpful in helping me figure out what relationship I wanted with alcohol.
I'm a neuropsychologist with training in addiction, and even then, I learned A LOT about how alcohol affects the body and brain.
Some people did it and decided to quit, like me, and some people decided to moderate, like my DH who drank even more than I did, and is an extremely moderate drinker now.
I’ve heard about that book and have been meaning to read it. I’ve noticed my anxiety is through the roof since I stopped drinking so I’ve also had to cut out caffeine as that makes me even more edgy…. It’s like my brain is learning new coping mechanisms that it previously relied on alcohol for
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Unusual drinking glasses ...
"The 'Greedy Cup' is typically made of clay or china, and does not reveal the siphon mechanism inside; however this example is made from glass, and shows how the internal siphon will completely empty the glass, if you fill it above a certain level."
https://youtube.com/watch?v=frL2DkMM09Y3 -
Stopping at 2 glasses of wine this evening.4
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For any newcomers, I tried the books you mentioned and I did not relate to them, but everyone is different. What motivates one person may not motivate someone else. Some people really do way better in a group setting or one-on-one, etc. Try different things, see what works best for you. What matters is taking action just because your life and happiness deserves it.
I did have success with "Addiction Recovery Skills Workbook", author Suzette Glasner-Edwards and I found it online for free, googling it. People who socially drink may be turned off by the word "addiction" in the title, don't be! The content quality is legit and very well written. I did wind up buying the workbook off Amazon and during my "no drinking period" which I think went on for 4-6 months, it did the trick! 10 min every day...at 5 pm, I spent 10-15 min with this workbook.
Now that I've said this, you've reminded me I need to bring it out and read it a bit before going to bed.7 -
@LisaStapleton83 I agree with you, anxiety for me also goes thru the roof, but it lasts maybe a week. It's a transition time for the body and normal. I think I did a lot of herbal calming teas, melatonin gummies and that sort of thing to get me to bed early and keep me out of trouble. But after that hurdle, one actually gets their normal brain back in time. I felt so amazing and calm and happy with no alcohol.
And in reality, if anxiety persists, one can consult their doctor or NP, hit the daily exercise, etc. There really is a solution for this all.4 -
globalhiker wrote: »@LisaStapleton83 I agree with you, anxiety for me also goes thru the roof, but it lasts maybe a week. It's a transition time for the body and normal. I think I did a lot of herbal calming teas, melatonin gummies and that sort of thing to get me to bed early and keep me out of trouble. But after that hurdle, one actually gets their normal brain back in time. I felt so amazing and calm and happy with no alcohol.
And in reality, if anxiety persists, one can consult their doctor or NP, hit the daily exercise, etc. There really is a solution for this all.
Thanks 😊 I have been hitting the herbal teas pretty hard 😂😂 passionflower is the latest. I tried CBD but it made me feel awful 😞
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globalhiker wrote: »For any newcomers, I tried the books you mentioned and I did not relate to them, but everyone is different. What motivates one person may not motivate someone else. Some people really do way better in a group setting or one-on-one, etc. Try different things, see what works best for you. What matters is taking action just because your life and happiness deserves it.
I did have success with "Addiction Recovery Skills Workbook", author Suzette Glasner-Edwards and I found it online for free, googling it. People who socially drink may be turned off by the word "addiction" in the title, don't be! The content quality is legit and very well written. I did wind up buying the workbook off Amazon and during my "no drinking period" which I think went on for 4-6 months, it did the trick! 10 min every day...at 5 pm, I spent 10-15 min with this workbook.
Now that I've said this, you've reminded me I need to bring it out and read it a bit before going to bed.
@globalhiker
Thanks for the reminder of the "Addiction Recovery Skills Workbook", author Suzette Glasner-Edwards . I downloaded the pdf version last time you mentioned it but then forgot about it! I looked at it this morning and think I'm going to test it out with my poor snacking and eating habits ... to break through this darn weight issue. I'm definitely eating out of habit and not from need. I'm sure it will also spill over into helping me reduce and drink less as well.6 -
Welcome to our new folks. Nice to have new faces and new input.
I have never purchased any of those books. I have definitely heard of them,especially early in 2018 when I started on this thread. As @ globalhiker commented, what motivates one person may not motivate another.
Horrible bad last two days with emotional 🦬crap. I hate drama, and or being dragged into it.
Managed to not drink or even think of alcohol. (coffee yes!And that is a different addiction lol 🤗)
AF 19
A 36 -
@Lilylady3k you pose two really interesting questions. Clearly you want to help and comfort your DH- could it be that you don’t want him to feel so alone in his misery that you “keep him company” while he drinks? Or is there some other power dynamic at work that makes you fearful of saying no? Or maybe he’s irresistible on many many levels 😘.
The other is it’s so hard to watch our spouses miserable in a job they absolutely hate. In absence of finding another job to ride out until he’s retired, you could probably help here by getting engaged in the community with him. For example, you sign yourselves up for a bowling league, Rotary, ballroom dancing, etc. Something enjoyable where he can be around other people in the community. It may not be your dram destination but at least it will make living there worthwhile.5 -
Has anyone done Annie Grace's 30 Day Alcohol Experiment? Or read This Naked Mind?
I've part of a similar thread in another forum for a few years, and that's the go to resource that everyone uses there. It's what I did when I was trying to cut back, and it was hugely helpful in helping me figure out what relationship I wanted with alcohol.
I'm a neuropsychologist with training in addiction, and even then, I learned A LOT about how alcohol affects the body and brain.
Some people did it and decided to quit, like me, and some people decided to moderate, like my DH who drank even more than I did, and is an extremely moderate drinker now.
I did the Annie Grace 30 day and it was really insightful. I learned a lot. It was never my goal to stop drinking entirely, but it did help me moderate significantly. I’m pretty sure I read the book too, but I read so many, I forgot! I’ve been known to buy a second copy of a book I’ve read years ago, and about a quarter of the way through, said “hey, I’ve read this before!”4 -
Had a small glass of wine after work last night. Yummy but not worth the bad sleep. In the final stretch of the Sugar/alcohol detox. Weight is still coming down, despite the little bit of wine! Whew!4
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@Lilylady3k you pose two really interesting questions. Clearly you want to help and comfort your DH- could it be that you don’t want him to feel so alone in his misery that you “keep him company” while he drinks? Or is there some other power dynamic at work that makes you fearful of saying no? Or maybe he’s irresistible on many many levels 😘.
The other is it’s so hard to watch our spouses miserable in a job they absolutely hate. In absence of finding another job to ride out until he’s retired, you could probably help here by getting engaged in the community with him. For example, you sign yourselves up for a bowling league, Rotary, ballroom dancing, etc. Something enjoyable where he can be around other people in the community. It may not be your dram destination but at least it will make living there worthwhile.
@Womona - Thanks for the insights. Yes I've actually found a couple of clubs that I encouraged him to get involved in ... which he looks forward to. Trying to find other interests but his interests (history, economics) don't lean toward much interaction with groups of people (and hates crowds). Retirement ... he no longer needs to work but has a really good job that pays extremely well.
The check marks for retirement:
- Do you have enough? YES
- Have you had enough? YES
- Do you have something else that you want to do? NO So he is continuing to work for the medical insurance until we pull the trigger and make the decision of what is next.
My involvement with the drinking is that I'm a sucker for a really good bottle of wine. He does not buy crap and we can afford the nicer bottles. I like exploring new wines. When I go over 2 though it is usually because I'm out (like vacation and drinking throughout the day ... brewery at lunch and wine at dinner). I'm doing pretty good but just don't want to be a daily drinker. So right now at home I'm checking out the bottle, taking a sip of his before making my decision to drink or not. Avoiding the wine at book club because that is usually just the basics available at restaurants LOL
Last night I had 1 glass from each bottle of French Chablis (2 different vineyards).4 -
Lilylady3k wrote: »@Lilylady3k you pose two really interesting questions. Clearly you want to help and comfort your DH- could it be that you don’t want him to feel so alone in his misery that you “keep him company” while he drinks? Or is there some other power dynamic at work that makes you fearful of saying no? Or maybe he’s irresistible on many many levels 😘.
The other is it’s so hard to watch our spouses miserable in a job they absolutely hate. In absence of finding another job to ride out until he’s retired, you could probably help here by getting engaged in the community with him. For example, you sign yourselves up for a bowling league, Rotary, ballroom dancing, etc. Something enjoyable where he can be around other people in the community. It may not be your dram destination but at least it will make living there worthwhile.
@Womona - Thanks for the insights. Yes I've actually found a couple of clubs that I encouraged him to get involved in ... which he looks forward to. Trying to find other interests but his interests (history, economics) don't lean toward much interaction with groups of people (and hates crowds). Retirement ... he no longer needs to work but has a really good job that pays extremely well.
The check marks for retirement:
- Do you have enough? YES
- Have you had enough? YES
- Do you have something else that you want to do? NO So he is continuing to work for the medical insurance until we pull the trigger and make the decision of what is next.
My involvement with the drinking is that I'm a sucker for a really good bottle of wine. He does not buy crap and we can afford the nicer bottles. I like exploring new wines. When I go over 2 though it is usually because I'm out (like vacation and drinking throughout the day ... brewery at lunch and wine at dinner). I'm doing pretty good but just don't want to be a daily drinker. So right now at home I'm checking out the bottle, taking a sip of his before making my decision to drink or not. Avoiding the wine at book club because that is usually just the basics available at restaurants LOL
Last night I had 1 glass from each bottle of French Chablis (2 different vineyards).
I was a MAJOR wine lover for years. I grew up with a somelier parent, my ex owned a wine bar, several family friends own vineyards. Good wine was a huge part of my life, and something I deeply valued.
Then I quit drinking for a few months and all wine smells and tastes disgusting to me now.
Literally, all I can smell now when I smell wine is gasoline. It all smells and tastes like grape flavoured gasoline because ethanol is literally gasoline.
This doesn't happen to everyone, but I thought I would share my personal experience as a former avid, decades long, wine lover who now can't even choke back a sip of the stuff for a champagne toast at a wedding without making a grimace face.
Weirdest experience of my life.8 -
Sister was over for dinner. DH planned to not have wine this evening and I was supportive. But then she said sure wine would be nice. 2 glasses of wine ... 1 from each of the 2 bottles.5
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I am continuing with my usual goals, 16-20 AF days per month.
Diary style
Thursday October 21 - Drinks - Had a great day, then a hike, then a couple of drinks with my friend that I went hiking with.
Friday October 22 - AF - Rainy and kind of yucky. A Grand Marnier would have been nice, but I am heading into split shifts again, so didn't.
Rolling total - 12AF days out of 22 days.5 -
@Lilylady3k
Moving away often doesn't remove disquiet from people. Houston has everything that anyone would want. It is good that you are getting him involved in some stuff around there. I bet there are lots of historical societies that meet.
When you were pondering why you can resist drinking when at book club but not at home ... I think that you answered the question yourself: Wine at home is very good, and wine out is not and not worth it.
Kind of like watching calories and not bothering to eat calories from things that you don't love.6 -
@Womona
So what do you do with the sailboat in the winter?
I know that you are on the East Coast somewhere. Do you drain it all out and take it to a boat storage place?3
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