WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2023

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  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,726 Member
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    Well im glad im on my own begore I had all my health issues,because he would have ditched me for sure lol
    Everyone is busy with there own lives so I deal with what I need to on my own..
    Not to worry im taking it in stride..
    Laundry folded and partially put away.. and will go out and pick up groceries at noo n..then back and get my garbage together for my son
    He is going back out to LA again in June to Vidcon i think solo again staying at the same place and all.. he is no longer a rookie
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,575 Member
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    161161
  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,413 Member
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    Funny, same here on the DIL vs. SIL. I've pretty much gotten along with the sons-in-law while my daughter remained married to them (not afterward, so much), but the third one has my heart. He and I were standing at the kitchen counter, and my husband and daughter were talking near the back door. My son-in-law said, under his breath, "My God, she is so beautiful. I'm the luckiest man ever." His eyes were glistening, and the look on his face was that helpless look of those truly in love and lost in it. There's a calmness and serenity to him that I just love, and he's been so good for Kelsey and the grands.

    My son's engaged at the moment, and I have yet to meet her, so all opinions are withheld until I do. But his first wife was so scared of me, she quivered like a hunted rabbit any time I was within 10 feet. I am not terribly patient with those who are scared of me, so that relationship was pretty much dead in the water. Not my finest trait, I admit.
  • minicooper452
    minicooper452 Posts: 617 Member
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    <3
    Happy SONday!
    Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN
  • 1948CWB
    1948CWB Posts: 1,326 Member
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    :)
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 3,876 Member
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    2023 Mindful May

    Word of the year: Appreciate : today I appreciate working in my garden.


    Exercise goals added
    Yoga 10 mins 3 times a week 1/15 100%,100%,80%,73%)
    Walk 7,000 every day 8/31 (84%,86%,94%,93%)
    6 min HIIT -1x a day start April 1- 0/31 (93%)
    Arm weights twice a week 0/10 (100%, 60%hurt my elbow, hurt my shoulder 30%,50%)
    Meditation: daily. 13/31 (82%(started Feb)94%,100%)

    Feeling overwhelmed this month. Taking a break from the list above until I feel more in control.


    1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 8/8–(100%,100%,0%,0)
    2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 10818, 8171, 8856, (7,700,100%-9851,100%—9526,100%—-9,559,100%)
    3. Update budget every 2 weeks 1/2 —(100%,100%,100%,100%)
    4. Contact close family every week (4x) 54/208/ —(100%,100%,100%,50%should be 86 by June1)
    5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)40/94 (100%,100%,100%,100%)
    6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4,175.4 (100%,100%,100%,0%)
    7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 16/15 (100%,88%,100,100)
    8. Read 12 books at least this year. 19/12 (100%,100%,100%,100%)
    9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR——4/12—(100%.100%,100%,100%,100%)
    10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25+25 )(100%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
    11. April started putting 4% on income in savings. 700,200 (100%)

    January Met —100%
    February met —-90%
    March met met —-90%
    April met——86.36%
    May met
    June met
    July met — met
    August met
    September met
    October met —
    November met—
    December met—



    1. Do something kind for someone you really care about. I need to think about this and plot! I gave my son a gift card to Netflix. He needed something to make him smile.
    2. Focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t. I will try. Did this.
    3. Take a step toward an important goal no matter how small. I have to think about this. I did not buy beer today. Working on not enabling my DH.
    4. Send a friend a photo of a time you enjoyed together. DONE!
    5. Let someone know how much they mean to you and why. It’s my brother’s 59’th birthday today. Going to call him. We never really call each other.
    6. Look for people doing good and reasons to be cheerful. Will do! And found them all over all day!
    7. Make a list of what matters most to you and why. Did this in my journal.
    8. Set yourself a kindness mission and help others today. Do this every day
    9. What values are important to you? Find ways to use them today. Will try.
    10. Be grateful for the little things, even in difficult times. It is hard right now but trying.
    11. Look around for things that give you a sense of awe and wonder. There is plenty here at the park. Wondering how a cave could turn into a lake.
    12. Listen to a favorite pieces of music and remember what it means to you. I will try to remember to do this. Did not have time.
    13. Find out about the values or traditions of another country. Sounds like fun! I looked up Canada and specialty Quebec where my family originated.
    14. Get outside and notice the beauty in nature. I love doing this!
    15. Do something to contribute to your local community. Helped a homeless man today.
    16. Show your gratitude to people who are helping to make things better. Will watch for this. Did this to school group’s surprise visit to the park.
    17. Find a way to make what you do today meaningful. I try every day by helping people find campsites in emergencies.
    18. Send a hand written note to someone you care about. To be completed. Did not finish.
    19. Reflect on what makes you feel valued and purposeful. Did a grateful meditation on the Balance app this morning which helped me do this.
    20. Share 3 photos of things you find meaningful or memorable.
    21. Look up at the sky and remember we are a part of something bigger. For sure! I walked the dog at 3AM and looked up at the vast night sky. I was able to see the Milky Way and billions of stars. Awesome view.
    22. Find a way to help a project or charity you care about.
    23. Recall 3 things that you’ve done that you are proud of.
    24. Make choices that have a positive impact on others today.
    25. Ask someone else what matters most to them and why.
    26. Remember an event in your life that was really meaningful.
    27. Focus on how your actions make a difference to others.
    28. Do something special and revisit in your mind tonight.
    29. Today do something to car for the natural world.
    30. Share a quote you find inspiring to give others a boost.
    31. Find three reasons to be hopeful about the future.
    RVRita in NM
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,634 Member
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    Lanette - I know some of the local high school's in my area are interested in gently used instruments for kids who can not afford purchase/rental....

    smiles Kim
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,360 Member
    edited May 2023
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    teklawa1 wrote: »
    Ginny count me in on another user of you tube videos to learn how to tackle jobs around the house and yard. Lanette some of the jobs my dh took care of are so totally foreign to me. Last week I took my Subaru to the shop for an oil change. The mechanic said I needed work on the suspension (cost approx $1800-2100)... also said the engine had an internal oil leak and only way to fix that was to pull the engine. He said it might last a few days or a year but repairs would be about $4000. My car has always had routine maintenance and I haven't noticed any problems with the ride and no oil leak in the garage. My car is only 5 years old and seems to run fine.

    I'm okay with so much of the yard and house care but when it comes to automotive, electrical and some of the plumbing stuff... I'm like fish out of water. I think this mechanic was trying to scam me... but I don't really know. My friends husband is going to look at my car this week.

    Wishing everyone a good day,
    Betsy in NW WA

    Betsy - so glad you are getting a second opinion on your car! How many miles do you have on it? I know when I used to take my car to Jiffy Lube they'd come back with a huge list of things that needed to be done "right away!" and DH would laugh.

    Gosh, I'm lucky I only got away with the $249 brake pad replacements quote.

    When I got home I looked at the bill closer, he had noted there's a "rack & pinion leak" and "head leak" of some type. He'd never mentioned it, so I called and asked him what was up. He said it's typical in older Subaru's (mine is a 2007 and has around 112,000 miles) and nothing to worry about but look for drips. And I always do. I don't think his little shop does that kind of major work but the place down the street does.

    The last time I had it in that shop for a complete tune-up, they talked me into something that cost a couple hundred $$ more and I don't think was necessary. I asked DH and he said OK but his memory was starting to go. But I told them to go ahead. They also gave me a stern warning that once it hit 100,000 miles it would need a new timing chain/belt. OK, sounds reasonable. One of these days I'll leave it for the full meal deal, will probably cost me what would have been a year's worth of car payments is how I look at it.

    My 2 cars are old and I don't want to buy a new one. Maybe a good used one some day that has a warranty. Since my trips to town are infrequent and I normally don't go more than 30 miles when I HAVE to go to Olympia for something (rare) I'm trying to be content with what I have, and I'm stashing money back in case one of them needs a major repair down the road. I only have the bare minimum insurance wise.

    My automotive savvy friends say that old Subarus and Toyotas are worth hanging onto. I thought all Subarus had a great reputation.

    You might want to google "2018 (or whatever year your Sube is) subaru internal oil leak" and "2018 Subaru suspension problems" and see if anyone has tackled that. I do that quite a bit and it's interesting seeing other mechanics and "old car guys" weigh in. They can tell if you're getting scammed or if its a known problem.

    You sound just like me in so many areas. Yes, electrical, plumbing and automotive are iffy. I tend to wait until something is at the "critical" stage I guess.

    My oil change guy has always been great and I do tend to trust him. But he has never done an in-depth check of seals, brake pads, etc. like he did this last time. And I noticed he had a big crew just standing around. Looking for work?

    Good luck with your car, please let us know what your friend's husband figures out.

    Lanette B)

  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 2,974 Member
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    fanncy0626 wrote: »
    Michele lots of different ideas about refrigerators. Another one that we have done in the past is to fill it up with balled up newspaper and close the door. It kept the refrigerator from smelling and mold buildup. We used to do that in our RV in Arizona. We found that it did work.

    💕 Mary from Minnesota/Arizona

    That was a trick they told us back when I sold Tupperware, to get the smell out of the containers. Just dampen it I think(that was years ago)
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,474 Member
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    Joy1580vb wrote: »
    Whidislander wrote: »
    Joy1580vb wrote: »
    Rebecca, lovely pictures. You have a beautiful granddaughter who you are giving wonderful memories to. I applaud your attitude.

    Joy

    Thanks Joy, she's so sweet, funny and it was great to soak up her aura for a week. Had some great chats with son, daughter in law not so much, but we are really pleasant to each other and hugged good night every night.🤗💖
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa

    Daughter-in-laws can be a bit of a challenge sometimes. I have a close relationship with my son-in-law but I would say a civil one with my daughter-in-law. She likes to keep her distance. They reside in Ontario so only see them 3 times a year at the most. I absolutely adore her parents (they were the couple that went to Ireland with me). They are so warm and welcoming and were from the first day I met them. Not sure what the DIL's issue is and have stopped trying to figure it out. I'm just civil to her and keep smiling!

    Enjoy your day, ladies. Going to venture outside and cut my lawn this morning. Will be wearing an N95 mask as experts are suggesting to help deal with this smoke.

    Joy

    It is a unique relationship, daughter-like but so not. But its this gal that makes my son happy, and has given me my Athena, my granddaughter, so I am grateful. My son is 28 and has never had any other girlfriends, and married her. In the beginning they seemed so weird around each other, totally not like a wife and husband should be. Just like they were embarrassed to show their love for each other with the public seeing. So no hand holding etc, heck my husband and I were more lovey-dovey than they seemed to be. But they grew up, now they cuddle, argue like normal couples do.🙄😂
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa

  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,360 Member
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    GodMomKim wrote: »
    Lanette - I know some of the local high school's in my area are interested in gently used instruments for kids who can not afford purchase/rental....

    smiles Kim

    Kim - thank you for that suggestion! Who knows, there might be a budding drummer out there. If I don't hear from the drum shop I emailed within a week or so, I'll put out some feelers. I don't mind local music teachers coming to the house to see what I have here.

    Lanette
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,128 Member
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    dlfk202000 wrote: »
    fanncy0626 wrote: »
    Michele lots of different ideas about refrigerators. Another one that we have done in the past is to fill it up with balled up newspaper and close the door. It kept the refrigerator from smelling and mold buildup. We used to do that in our RV in Arizona. We found that it did work.

    💕 Mary from Minnesota/Arizona

    That was a trick they told us back when I sold Tupperware, to get the smell out of the containers. Just dampen it I think(that was years ago)
    I think that deafening it would have probably been a good thing to do in Arizona because it is so dry there. The RV tech from Minnesota that told us about doing. They never mentioned dampening it though. I’m going to ask them when we see them this summer sometime. For sure next year we’re going to at least put the newspapers in there!
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,726 Member
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    Rebecca your in luck Jenny Craig is out of buisness lol
    Took Alfie for a ride..
    Stopped to see Tom and Elena,he bought her a beautiful ring.. not huge and flashy,but just stunning and Homie of course was happy to see me and Alfie was happy to see Elena he hasn't seen her in quite awhile and so he was jumping up in her lap and then Toms lap and having a grand ol time...
    Got the groceries in and put away but boy im sore..all over..took some tylenol and relaxing now will hop in the shower after Dan stops by.
    .
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 2,974 Member
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    KJLaMore wrote: »
    Had a bit of a row yesterday with DH. I know I have mentioned before that I have a "secret sta$h" that I keep for my own spending. I know that DH knows about it; but we have never talked about it. Well, he was in a pissy mood yesterday morning and brought it up in a mean and accusatory way. Like, "how can I betray him/his trust". Ugh. He asked, "Why do you need this money? Why can't you just ask me for it if you need it?" So...I explained (after some eye brow raises and eye rolling) "I take $25 each week and save it. For myself. For something I want. For a movie. For lunch and a beer with DYS. To get my hair or nails done. For whatever I want to do with it. I also use it to donate to different charities. Each year a certain charity, will receive $400 from me. IF I were to ask you for that amount to donate to a charity you would absolutely refuse. You give me grief if I ask for money for everything and grumble about how "we don't have money to pay our bills". This way, I get a little of what I want/need without having to freak you out. I don't think me having an allowance of $25 a week is going to break us. AFter all, you go shopping after I go shopping and buy things just for you. Special juices, protein bars, snacks, special milk, lottery tix. You spend approximately 2-3 times that $25 that I give myself. I don't deny you that, because you feel those things make you feel better and make you happy. Why do you feel like you need to complain about my allowance of $25/week?" Then, I left to do the grocery shopping. When I came home, he was back to normal and being nice to me. He has always been insecure about our relationship. Afraid I would leave. I think his RA and other health problems has jacked up his insecurity level to new heights. He is so afraid I am going to just leave him due to his illnesses. It amazes me how he can be married to me for so long and still not know me. Amazed and a little annoyed. Anyway...I love him and will keep him; but I am always surprised to find rough edges around us.
    Whoa, those first few must have been the full marathon runners, they are trickling back, now headed north, while a whole bunch of runners are coming by headed south. Lots of flags being carried and a lot of military shirts and hats being worn. Extra cheers for the Coast Guard (we are a CG town) and the USMC (the branch my family and DH's family served in). Really great race. None of the loud cowbells, yet, because it is still so early.
    [

    ttfn xoxoxo Love to all! KJ (Kelly)

    I too have my "secret stash", actually I have two. Dh knows about one and doesn't care, doesn't have any idea of how much I have in it. The second is an actual bank account -savings and CD that he doesn't know about and the paperwork goes to mom's.
    Like your dh, mine is such a spender and spends even more than your's does.
    I like not having to ask him for money. I have mine that I worked for and have finally started spending a little here and there. My donation to the church comes out of that every week, things for my garden, my zumba fees.
    I started saving long before I even met dh. That is the big part of me being able to make it through after first hubby left and I was on my own for two years, kept the bills paid, kept my house,etc(that and being even more frugal/cheap than I am now).

    I would have been cheering the CG with them. Former hubby was in the CG when we got married(then went National Guard after getting out of the CG. Went into and retired from the Air Force after we split.

    Debbie


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