WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2023
Replies
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Michele, dear, all we can do is the best we can, and like all of us, your choices with your family and relationships are affected by a past that I was never part of. Only you know what you can handle, and we all do care what happens because we care about you. I just hated to watch you grieving about not seeing your new grandson. I hope you've taken all of our input as coming from a place of regard for you.4
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Hi, Michelle. I'm sorry your family is broken. I think all families are broken in different ways. Tolstoy said in the first sentence of Anna Karenina: "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
What does Bryan do for a living that he is able to live on Reunion?
Hanging in there. Reading along, but I don't have a lot of energy to respond. Just working. Maybe too much. But I am thankful that I'm still able to do it.
Much love to all.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR8 -
To me, continuing to hurt someone is in a sense selfish. "You hurt me so I'm going to hurt you".
Michele NC
That describes dh so much. If someone does something or he even THINKS someone has done something against him, he holds grudges and doesn't let things go. That is a huge issue and why I feel the way I do towards him. He feels I did something(used him), which I didn't, so he still holds it against me. Things his aunt did towards his parents when he was a kid, he was still holding a grudge against her until after she passed away.
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I was up in the night looking at videos for my thigh. There's a massage one, which I will try, and I've already got the PT exercises. I'm paying attention to a walking one (for older people), because my walking is terrible and may be a cause of my problem. My left leg is really out of alignment with a knock knee, where the patella is out of alignment, and ligament damage from a sprained ankle. My knee has flared up intermittently since I was 15. My walking is awful. I find running easier and less painful, probably because I distribute my weight better. I've been doing knee and back exercises every day for 12 years, and have got the knee much better. I used to be crippled by it.
I'm going to work on my gait, and try the massage, and keep doing the exercises. The thigh does not hurt until I've been walking for more than a mile and a half, but when it goes, it's a real problem. After a good rest, the pain is gone.
I'm a little nervous about my trip to London tomorrow and hope my leg holds out. I shouldn't have to walk too far, but there will be some. Ditto our trip to France in October.
Hair trim today. I sold a ring to pay for it. It was a sort of engagement ring from my first marriage, but only a replacement one, and not my style now. It was inexpensive and not traditional. I have the cash in my purse.
Thinking about defrosting the garage freezer as it's less full than usual. A good opportunity.
However, must write first this morning. I'm writing a chapter about phrases and sayings that have inspired me. Will also put a load of laundry on.
Plus, book my ticket for the train tomorrow!
We will have to get Edie's present to her and a card. Her 10th birthday is on Saturday. We've bought her a faux fur leopard long jacket. I hope it fits!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Today’s gratitude:T telling me about chair yoga class at the library.
Karen to see you popping in. Would love to hear more from you.
Likewise Flea, whooshing energy your way.
Debbie sounds like you had a pleasant anniversary meal at least.
Sorry, so sleepy that everyone else’s posts have gone out of my mind. Time to sleep in prep for tomorrow’s DDS. Sure hope he can save the bridge.09/19: Move: 2 sets PT w/x&a, chair yoga class, Jeopardy walking. Steps:8063Later, lighter, lovelies!
Fuel: sugar in vs mfp=2 CI<CO net=745
Live: Joe, readings, BP, casserole-a-thon. Wt:130.7
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
September: Move more, fuel better (less sugar), live mindfully with people, dogs, open heart and mind before mouth. Never miss an opportunity to keep the mouth shut!
2023: Be of good cheer.
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Hello my friends!
Well the fire alarm went off again. Something about the humidity sets it off. So I am wide awake.
One of my book club friends is telling me how to get involved in my mom's medical insurance. I dread that, but don't have much choice. Plus when she comes home she won't be able to do the stairs. So it may be time for some equipment. Maybe a hospital bed in the living room. Or a chair lift on the stairs. I don't know how much help she will need when she comes home. Or how soon that will be. Or how expensive that will be. And when I think about it, I want comfort food. Or else hide in a book.
My dad went swimming at the new YMCA last night. He doesn't seem too concerned. He seems to expect things to go back to normal, with mom going up the stairs at night like before. Sometimes I think her knee trouble will be temporary, so she can just sleep on the couch downstairs for a bit. My friend was telling me to look into lifts that would help get her off the bed. It's tough to imagine going to that stage of nursing care when she was climbing stairs last Saturday. She is so weak, and I can't tell if that will get better or not. And it doesn't help that she tells the doctors she is fine, but that's her confusion talking.
Even though she didn't fall, I guess we have to react as though she did. It's a sudden drastic change in mobility. She can't come home until she is strong enough to use a walker or something.
First I need to decide what I am going to do about my Thursday appointments. Probably cancel horseback riding, and see mom later in the day. Which means more traffic. But that's a little thing.
Well thanks for listening.
Annie in Delaware
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M – I guess I just expected Denise to make something more than just noodles and chicken breast. Probably because Jess makes more. See, I personally would have at least let my child TRY saving up for a house before I’d give them the money. Yes, my in-laws helped us buy our first home, but not for a few years. And they didn’t pick it out for us. I’m only guessing that Pete’s mother helped them, I don’t know this for a fact. I really think Denise’s reluctance to visit stems from the fact that she has a very hard time dealing with any change. And coming here is a change to her routine. I’m so sorry you’ve never seen your grandsons. It’s very hard. Just passing on that message of love is all you can do right now. Maybe one day things will change for the better. Let’s keep positive thoughts that it will
Michele NC
From the sounds of things, you've got lots to be proud of with Denise and her family ... jobs, ongoing marriage, healthy child, on the property ladder.
Denise is doing Denise. You can't expect her to live her life like you would or you did or you are. I'm assuming 20-30 years have passed since you were her age. Times have changed and she's a different person from you. She will do things differently from you. And that's OK.
M in Oz
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Anniesquats100 wrote: »Even though she didn't fall, I guess we have to react as though she did. It's a sudden drastic change in mobility. She can't come home until she is strong enough to use a walker or something.
Well thanks for listening.
Annie in Delaware
Do you have the option of residential care (aka nursing homes) or a home care package?
Like these: https://dhss.delaware.gov/DSAAPD/home_communitybased_services.html
https://dhss.delaware.gov/dhss/dsaapd/residential_care.html
Do you have a carer support organisation in your area?
Like this? This is Australia's Carer support organisation: https://www.carergateway.gov.au/
Oh here ... check out these links:
https://dhss.delaware.gov/dsaapd/caregive.html
https://dhss.delaware.gov/dsaapd/caregivesg.html
Have a good read over these options.
Make an appointment to talk to someone.
There is often help available.
Machka in Oz
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Annie-There should be a social worker/case manager assigned to your mother in the hospital who can help with care planning. Please don't be surprised if they suggest moving her to another facility to regain strength. They don't keep folks in the hospital long. Some of it will depend upon which Medicare plan she has and if there is supplemental insurance. This would also be a good time to get POA set up if it isn't already. Keep good notes and take things one step at a time. Maybe checkout location of some facilities close to your home to make it easier for you and your Dad. Even if she doesn't have to go into facility for temporary stay at this time it can help if you are aware of what is available. They don't always give you much time to make decisions.
Covid continues in a very moderate way thank goodness. Spells of near normal, then symptoms kick back in. Will do a bit of work today but am feeling like it may be a napping day.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio6 -
margaretturk wrote: »Michele From what you said you have left the door open your son is the one who is not coming to the door. Not only not coming to the door but saying hurtful things besides. I am estranged from my oldest brother for many reasons. It's not the same as your son. What helps me is I send him wishing him well thoughts and leave it at that. I have my own life to lead. If it works out he can be part of my life again,but it is in his court. Good for you for setting your boundaries and realistic expectations when you have no control over your son's behavior. Know we love you and want what is best for you!
Margaret - You articulated this so well to Michele. And I wanted to comment how much I enjoyed seeing the photos of your church group after your pot luck and that beautiful lake. And your sweet Drew of course.
Michele - I don't recall that much about Bryan, it must have been before my time or I hadn't "clicked" on everyone yet. A wise teacher I had once said - had we been born and raised in someone's environment and gone through all of their same life experiences, we would have done/made exactly the same choices they made. I think this deals with foregiveness and dropping judgment. So, since I'm not you, I'm in no position to judge how you feel or what you did or didn't do or give you advice. I don't recall you asking this group for advice about the situation, you were just expressing what I took to be sadness about not being in contact with him and the new grandchild. Had you asked for advice, I could have supplied a bucketfull! Stand back!
Debbie - sounds like you had a nice lunch - way to go with the coupon!
Beth - what a nice, nice surprise for your mom!
Annie - maybe see if the hospital's social worker can arrange to send out an occupational therapist or similar to the house or at least have one consult with you and your dad to give advice on how to deal with your mom being home and getting around. Dealing with stairs, sleeping arrangements, other stuff. I recall they did this for my mom ages ago when she broke her hip and when my DH broke his back, they sent one into his hospital room to go over things before he was discharged. So I think it's a regular thing. Instructions from an "authority figure" are often heeded better than suggestions from kids. So maybe your dad and mom will understand and go along with it. Good luck and many, many hugs going your way.
What Ginny just posted.
Ginny - sounds like you are doing well in your recovery from the crud. Napping sounds good any time.
Yesterday afternoon I let the girls out and put another tarp over their run so the whole thing is covered now and should be fairly rainproof unless it's coming sideways as it does sometimes. I have a bigger one I can throw on that covers more.
When I was flipping that little tarp around, they all ran for cover. I wasn't paying a lot of attention and thought they had gone back into the trees under the powerline. When I was done, I said out loud "there you go, chick chicks." They came racing out from under a nearby cedar, wings a-flappin, and zipped right into their run. Having a protective cover, be it cedar branches or tarp, is important to them. I love those girls. Crazy chicken lady.
A couple weeks ago, I stopped at the New Balance outlet and bought new WIDE walking shoes. I finally put them on yesterday and they feel great. Fits my right foot perfectly. So I'm heading to town later this morning to grab another pair to stick on the shelf if they still have them - if not, something similar.
I started this post yesterday afternoon, better hit "post reply" before it turns into an epistle.
Make it a wonderful Wednesday!
Lanette
SW WA State6 -
Well, the first disease ship ... or um, cruise ship ... of the season came in today and 3003 people clogged up the city at lunchtime today. My errands took twice as long as I'd hoped.
One of the first places they all go is the Chemist Warehouse right near where I work. You can't even get into the place there are so many people.
I wasn't expecting them so early in the season, but maybe they had to dock because of the wind. Doesn't look like there's another one to come in for the next 3 weeks at least.
Ah well, tis the season to go on long walks into areas not frequented by tourists. This is one of my motivations to go on brisk 5-6 km walks during the spring, summer and autumn.
Machka in Oz4 -
Weekly shopping done and put away. Just relaxing with my coffee.
Heather: The gale passed over us during the night. It’s quite pleasant this morning, although we may get some showers. I am taking advantage of the wind to dry a load of laundry, but keeping an eye out for the showers 😂 Your painting looks well on the wall. Later: I managed to get the laundry in before a shower hit.
Lanette: I love the autumn colours, but not what they herald. The cold wet winter is not my favourite season.
Machka: It’s amazing to think that we are all in different time zones and climate areas. You’re going into spring as we are beginning to feel the chill creeping in. I think you having window on the world at work is wonderful, especially with the tree you describe.
Anniversaries: Because our anniversary is in July, we were often away with family on holiday, and would celebrate with them. These days, we have a celebration meal at home, and open a bottle of our favourite Prosecco. We agreed several years ago not to buy expensive gifts just because. It seems a bit senseless when we are trying to declutter our home to bring new stuff in.
It’s lunch time so I’ll pop back later to see who else has posted.
🤗 🤗 🤗 and 🙏 🙏 🙏 for the rest of your Wednesday.
☘️ Terri
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Good morning from Arkansas, where it's a lovely, rainy start to the day. A gentle rain falling here, but lots of noise and a few flashes from the far distant hills. Having the rumble bumble of thunder and lightning well in the distance is appreciated. I'm not scared of lightning exactly, I just don't like the ones that are so close that the flash and the noise come together. They always startle me. Makes me feel like one of Lanette's chickens!
Yesterday was a good day - ate a small amount at noon to pad the vitamins, and then laid off the grazing and waited until dinner to eat (chicken wraps). Again, without trying to, kept it at about a thousand calories. Need to get more protein in, though, to keep the muscle structures intact, about 65 grams all told, and only got 47 grams in yesterday.
Off to get my cardio in before my morning phone calls. It appears the rain is going to last for most of the next week, so autumn is arriving with a rumble of thunder! I did want some inside days to get some craft work done, and it appears that I'll be getting them... My daytime bright lamp is coming in tomorrow, so that will make it so I can paint in there, as well. On the grey days like today, it's necessary!
Sprinkled comments all over the place yesterday, so not much of those yet... Hope everyone's having or had a good Wednesday.
Love y'all!
Lisa in AR5 -
Betsy in NW WA1 -
Hi!
Carol My DH is the same way! He questions everything I get rid of. So annoying! This is why I love when he is gone from house for extended times. I clear my stuff out.
Kylia
Back to the craziness of home3 -
Accidentally started organising the home office this evening. Definitely not the plan but when I started digging through stuff to try to find something, and triggered a noisy avalanche, I figured a more systematic approach to my digging would be better. I found what I was looking for and did some organising at the same time!
I also disturbed a lot of dust and the allergies flared up a bit.
Hopefully I will sleep them off now.
M in Oz6 -
3613611
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Its so cool in the house, it woke up our propane fireplace.💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
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Hair trimmed and a nice chat with the hairdresser. She was just back from the Canary Islands.
Picked up a bit of shopping. This morning I was astonished, shocked even, to find we had run out of teabags!!!
I buy them in bulk from Amazon, and had no idea we were down to the last teabag. I had to make two cups out of one. So I picked up a small packet and I've ordered a delivery for tomorrow. Michael Moseley was on the radio this morning, extolling the virtues of tea. Camelia Sinensis. Very, very good for you.
We are having the halloumi curry tonight, but I'm going to use broccoli instead of spinach because I have some I want to use up.
I've booked my train tickets for tomorrow. I'm going from Brighton, because it takes me directly to London Bridge, where the restaurant and theatre are, so less walking. I used the massage ball and roller this morning, and so far it has helped a lot. My main fear is of train cancellation because of the weather. It is raining now, and will get worse overnight. Sometimes there is flooding, or leaves and branches on the line with strong winds.
I didn't defrost the garage freezer, but I did phone Saga to put my name down for the 'Early Bird ' booking for 2025. There are only four cabins of the type we like, and they get booked up very quickly. We had to pay a deposit, but it is transferable and refundable, so nothing lost.
I'm a little nervous about tomorrow, but I will give myself plenty of time and cross my fingers that the transport isn't disrupted.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx2
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