WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2024

Overview
Session 12: Self-Talk
This week we are focusing on self-talk. Maybe the voice in your head told you it was too hard to become healthy or not worth the effort? Your inner voice, or the dialog that goes on in your head, is an incredibly powerful force that has a big impact on your ability to reach your health and wellness goals. In this session, you will learn about both negative and positive self- talk. The goal of the session is to learn how to catch and rephrase negative self-talk to position yourself for success.
Self-Talk
Every day, as you go about your life, you have an inner voice inside your head. Your inner voice is constant, even though you may not realize it. Even though these
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thoughts are in the background of your mind, they can still greatly affect how you feel about yourself.
Negative Self- Talk
Negative self-talk is the inner voice that causes you to compare yourself to others and critique yourself. Even though these thoughts may not be true, they can still be powerful. Negative self-talk is when you:
➢ Compare yourself to others
➢ Want to give up
➢ Have black & white thinking that leads you to believe that things are either good or bad
➢ Make excuses
➢ Say you “should” have done something differently
Negative self-talk is not uplifting and can leave you feeling down and defeated.
❖ See Handout: Examples of Negative Self-Talk Positive Self-Talk
Positive self-talk is the inner voice that builds you up. Positive self-talk is:
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➢ Affirming to you and others
➢ Encourages your best effort
➢ Understanding
➢ Owning your actions
➢ Not shaming
Positive self-talk is uplifting and motivates action.
❖ See Handout: Examples of Positive Self-Talk
In order for you to practice more positive self-talk, it may be helpful if you talk to yourself as you would a friend. Most likely, if a friend were in your situation, you would give them positive feedback about their progress. For example, if a friend felt bad because they ordered French fries instead of a salad, what would you say to them? If you did that, what would you say to yourself?
❖ See Handout: What Would You Say Worksheet
✓ Skill Building Activity: Completing the What Would You Say Worksheet (your coach will lead you through this activity)
How Does Self-Talk Develop?
Think about the span of your life, and imagine just how many messages you have received from family, friends, co-workers, and the media. Self-talk develops from all of the messages you have been exposed to.
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For example, negative self-talk can stem from your spouse putting you down every time he/she sees you eating a cookie. Negative self-talk could also develop from comparing yourself to models in magazines.
On the other hand, positive self-talk can blossom from these same sources. For example, positive self-talk can develop when a friend consistently points out your strengths. It can also stem from compliments as others notice the positive changes you are making.
Effects of Self-Talk
Self-talk can help or hinder your progress. If you are constantly telling yourself that you are a failure, you will start to believe it. Not only will this cause you to give up on your goals, but also it can greatly affect your emotional and physical health.
Your internal voice plays a major role in determining the success you will have. Fuel your brain with the message that you can do it!
Take Control of Your Thoughts
The key to taking control of your health is to take control of your thoughts.
If you have noticed that you are engaging in negative self-talk, stop and ask yourself why. Is it because of something your co-worker said to you? Maybe you
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watched a movie and started to compare yourself to one of the actors. Do not let the sources of the negative self-talk have power over you. You are the only person who should have control over your thoughts. Get the power back!
Rephrasing Negative Self-Talk
Overtime, negative self-talk can become a habit if you let it. Just like any other negative habit, breaking it takes time and effort, but it is worth it!
The next time you have a negative thought about yourself or the situation, try this simple three step process:
1. Stop the thought in its track
▪ Try interrupting the thought by telling yourself “Stop!” out-loud
2. Hear what you are saying
▪ Notice how your thought is making you feel
3. Rephrase the negative thought
▪ Find a positive thought to think about instead
Here are some examples of rephrasing negative self- talk:
Negative Self-Talk
Positive Self-Talk
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“I can only do 5 sit ups, going to the gym isn’t even worth my time.”
“I'm so proud of myself for getting to the gym. Each day I am going to push myself a little harder.”
“Yesterday, I ate pizza. I know it’s bad, I feel like a failure.”
“Yesterday, I enjoyed a slice of pizza. It tasted really good and I feel like my craving for it is gone now.”
“This program is too hard.”
“This program is hard, but also very rewarding.”
❖ See Handout: Rephrasing Negative Self-Talk
✓ Skill Building Activity: Completing the Rephrasing Negative Self-Talk Handout (your coach will lead you through this activity)
Summary
Negative self-talk can be hard on your mental and physical health. It is important that you become aware of these thoughts and use the tips in the session to turn them into positive self-talk.
Keep Moving
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If you find yourself thinking, “I can’t do this”, challenge the negative self-talk and rephrase the thought. As you add a few extra steps or minutes to your activity this week, repeat in your head, “I can do this, I can do this”.
Activities
□ Take a post-it and write one affirmation or positive thought. Place it where you can see it every day.
□ Say something positive to one of your group members.
□ Goal setting: Work with your coach to set one goal this week associated with this session. Example: I will rephrase at least one of my negative self-talk thoughts into positive self-talk.
List your goal here or message it to your coach: ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________
Discussion/Questions
□ Discuss the results from the “What Would You Say Worksheet” and “Rephrasing Negative Self-Talk” handout with your coach.
□ Ask group members if they have suggestions for stopping negative self-talk.
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□ Post something positive in the discussion board that you accomplished this week.
“It’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power.”
- Robert T. Kiyosaki
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Examples of Negative Self-Talk
􏰀​ ​Negative self-talk is different for everyone. Below are some phrases that you may have said to yourself at one time or another.
Negative Self-Talk Examples:
✔​ ​There is no point in eating healthy. I will gain the weight back anyway.
✔​ ​Losing weight is impossible.
✔​ ​I’m too tired to exercise. I’ll just watch TV instead.
✔​ ​I can’t eat breakfast every day. I don’t have time.
✔​ ​I ate one doughnut and I ruined my diet. So, I might as
well eat the whole box.
✔​ ​This program is too hard. I should just quit.
✔​ ​I hate eating vegetables.
✔​ ​My sibling/friend lost 10 pounds. I should be able to lose 10
pounds too.
✔​ ​I missed my exercise class. So, I should just go home.
Do you find yourself saying a negative self-talk phrase, like any of the examples listed above?
Talk to your coach about how you can re-phrase that negative self-talk to form a more positive way of thinking!

Examples of Positive Self-Talk
􏰀​ ​The goal is to include more positive self-talk in your life. Being more positive will lead to more success.
Positive Self-Talk Examples:
✔​ ​The goal was to exercise for 20 minutes, but I only had time to exercise for 10 minutes. I’m proud of myself for being
active.
✔​ ​I ate birthday cake at work today. It tasted great. I am going to fill my plate with vegetables at lunch.
✔​ ​My sister lost 10 pounds. I am so proud of her!
✔​ ​I feel tired, but I know if I exercise I will feel more energized.
✔​ ​I didn’t include any fruit with breakfast and chose a muffin instead. I will make sure to have a piece of fruit as a snack.
✔​ ​Although I haven’t lost any weight yet, my pants are loose, and I feel more energized. I’m proud of myself!

What Would You Say Worksheet 􏰀​ ​Fill out the worksheet in the following two ways:
1. Your first response should be to a friend.
2. Your second response should be to yourself.
Situation 1:
Your friend’s goal is to exercise for at least 30 minutes, but they missed their exercise class. ​What would you say to your friend?
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
Your goal is to exercise for at least 30 minutes. You miss your exercise class. ​What would you say to yourself?
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
Situation 2:
Your friend is trying to lose 10 pounds but eats 2 doughnuts at work. ​ ​What would you say to your friend?
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
You are trying to lose 10 pounds and you eat 2 doughnuts at
work. ​What would you say to yourself? ____________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

Rephrasing Negative Self-Talk
Think about 3 times in the past month you experienced negative self-talk. Write down the situation, the negative self-talk, and rephrase it into something positive.
Situation1:___________________________________________________
􏰀​ ​Negative Self Talk: ________________________________________________________
􏰀​ ​Positive Self Talk: ________________________________________________________
Situation 2:__________________________________________________
􏰀​ ​Negative Self Talk: ________________________________________________________
􏰀​ ​Positive Self Talk: ________________________________________________________
Situation 3:__________________________________________________
􏰀​ ​Negative Self Talk: ________________________________________________________
􏰀​ ​Positive Self Talk: ________________________________________________________