Nice/Romantic Gesture OR Trying Too Hard

I would need to know more aboot your friend before I can criticize her on the horrible act she made. But I will say that this is why women are treated the way they are these days. I always hear the phrase there aren't any good men out there, but you walk all over them. You shoot them down and break them apart inside. They have no reason to live. This is why there aren't any good men.

LOL
this sounds like criticism without knowledge to me!

My friend went on a date with a guy, all went well and he called to take her out for a second date. He showed up at her house to pick her up and had a dozen red roses for her. She called to tell me that she went on the second date, then told him no more. She felt he was trying too hard, it was too much too soon. In my opinion, they are just flowers. It was a nice gesture, but maybe a bunch of daisies or single rose or two wouldn't have been read into they way she did. Thoughts??? Dating is hard enough as it is and I really feel for the guys out there. Women can be difficult! :flowerforyou:

I think it's trying too hard and completely unoriginal. If he learned anything and asked the right questions during the first date he might have come up with something better.

my opinion...the guy doesn't know that Roses are just too much, flowers would've been perfectly appropriate for me though.

This sort of thing makes me so sad for men. Women can be picky, and read in to the most innocent of gestures! If she really did eliminate him from future dates because he was a gentleman, then I feel sorry for her, too.

Agreed- I think some guys just enjoy doing the proverbial "right " thing for women- ie flowers, dinner, dancing etc. I realize this may seem a bit too much for a second date- but really shouldnt be discouraged- unless he showed up w jewelry at the second date- thats no bueno- but flowers are a nice gesture- and without knowing the dude- presumably something he thought was the "right" thing to do. When we discourage this - they stop doing it.. and then we wonder where the gentlemen went, and why they stopped doing the "right" thing.

I like opening doors for women and doing nice things for them. If they don't appreciate it then I'll find someone that does want me to dote over them.

I think this thread is proof for the single men that if a woman is annoyed that you brought her flowers and ditches you because of it, she was going to be a self-absorbed pain in the *kitten* anyway.

Giving a woman flowers on the second date doesn't mean "I'm in love with you, and I want you to marry me and have my children." It means, simply, "I like you, and I wasn't raised in a brothel." As a woman, your response should be a gracious smile and "Thank you. They're beautiful." If you don't like getting flowers and that's not what you "want out of a relationship," tell him that later when you'are actually IN a relationship with him.

I really feel like apologizing on behalf of my entire sex after some of the threads I've seen on here lately.

I disagree. Giving a woman a dozen red roses on a second date means "I want to sleep with you and I'm too lazy to check/stupid to know that this is an inappropriate gift at this point". I'd show him the door, too, because I don't like a man with zero common sense.

I've got news for you, the fact he asked her on a date in the first place probably meant he wanted to sleep with her, the flowers were secondary. Just being honest here. If you are single and a man asks you out on a date, it is becasue he is attracted to you, wther physically or mentally, and he has already thought about sex with you before the appetizer got to the table. Call me a pig or whatever, I am just being truthful. We all want to be loved and to love someone, sex is a part of that. Now with all that being said, flowers or no flowers, most men can't win for losing when it comes to dating. Most of the time we don't know what women want, because most of the time, women don't know what they want.

And let the rants begin..

There has to be more than just the dozen roses to have scared her off. Really.

Its hard in 1 date to know what a womens love language is but I think most would appreciate the sentiment. For some women its gifts, other women words can melt them, and then for others its doing something for them like fixing their car or some other act.

I think this guy in the story was actually on MFP saying he had a nice time on the first date and what advice would the womens have for him to make a good impression on the second date.

Stupid him for following their advice! He should have had her meet him wherever they were going, or she could have picked him up and drove for the evening. She should pick the restaurant and the movie..and when she asks him what does he feel like doing he should just respond "I don't care..whatever you want to do". Later he can tell all his friends what a loser she was because of the car she drove, the restaurant she took him to, the movie she picked. :drinker:

I think this thread is proof for the single men that if a woman is annoyed that you brought her flowers and ditches you because of it, she was going to be a self-absorbed pain in the *kitten* anyway.

Giving a woman flowers on the second date doesn't mean "I'm in love with you, and I want you to marry me and have my children." It means, simply, "I like you, and I wasn't raised in a brothel." As a woman, your response should be a gracious smile and "Thank you. They're beautiful." If you don't like getting flowers and that's not what you "want out of a relationship," tell him that later when you'are actually IN a relationship with him.

I really feel like apologizing on behalf of my entire sex after some of the threads I've seen on here lately.

I disagree. Giving a woman a dozen red roses on a second date means "I want to sleep with you and I'm too lazy to check/stupid to know that this is an inappropriate gift at this point". I'd show him the door, too, because I don't like a man with zero common sense.

I've got news for you, the fact he asked her on a date in the first place probably meant he wanted to sleep with her, the flowers were secondary. Just being honest here. If you are single and a man asks you out on a date, it is becasue he is attracted to you, wther physically or mentally, and he has already thought about sex with you before the appetizer got to the table. Call me a pig or whatever, I am just being truthful. We all want to be loved and to love someone, sex is a part of that. Now with all that being said, flowers or no flowers, most men can't win for losing when it comes to dating. Most of the time we don't know what women want, because most of the time, women don't know what they want.

And let the rants begin..

No, I agree with you actually, a man wants to sleep with a woman right off if he's doing anything remotely resembling conversation, let alone a date. The flowers are just to push the point even further.

I would need to know more aboot your friend before I can criticize her on the horrible act she made. But I will say that this is why women are treated the way they are these days. I always hear the phrase there aren't any good men out there, but you walk all over them. You shoot them down and break them apart inside. They have no reason to live. This is why there aren't any good men.

I get really sick of hearing women complain about "no good men" then they go after the jerks who treat them like crap and complain about that like it's the guy's fault they get away with acting like a turdmonkey. Sheesh. You guys do not have it easy these days.

I don't think women look for men who treat them like crap, I think they look for men who are confident and have that "something about them" and know what women want. sweet, but not too sweet. The problem is, that these men know how to make a woman feel good....which translates into they can get a lot of women, they know it and they do just that.

Confidence does not equal arrogance. I like a confident man too, but not one who is going to disrespect me and treat me like garbage. A lot of women do put up with men who cheat, lie, steal, mooch, and do all sorts of other things to them and then go around complaining about it. I hear it all the time from my girlfriends and it's irritating. You get what you put up with in this world.

Maybe I'm just lucky, but my husband makes me feel amazing. He's smart, sexy, confident, and all man. He could get a lot of other women if he wanted, but he also honors our marriage vows, works hard to do things for me, accepts the things I do for him, and is just flatout awesome. There are great guys out there who fit the bill. Just gotta find them. Like my girlfriends, I wasted far too much time on losers and put up with it because I didn't think I could do better.

turdmonkey.

:laugh: