Nice/Romantic Gesture OR Trying Too Hard

1234579

Replies

  • Ephena
    Ephena Posts: 610 Member
    I think this thread is proof for the single men that if a woman is annoyed that you brought her flowers and ditches you because of it, she was going to be a self-absorbed pain in the *kitten* anyway.

    Giving a woman flowers on the second date doesn't mean "I'm in love with you, and I want you to marry me and have my children." It means, simply, "I like you, and I wasn't raised in a brothel." As a woman, your response should be a gracious smile and "Thank you. They're beautiful." If you don't like getting flowers and that's not what you "want out of a relationship," tell him that later when you'are actually IN a relationship with him.

    I really feel like apologizing on behalf of my entire sex after some of the threads I've seen on here lately.

    I disagree. Giving a woman a dozen red roses on a second date means "I want to sleep with you and I'm too lazy to check/stupid to know that this is an inappropriate gift at this point". I'd show him the door, too, because I don't like a man with zero common sense.

    I've got news for you, the fact he asked her on a date in the first place probably meant he wanted to sleep with her, the flowers were secondary. Just being honest here. If you are single and a man asks you out on a date, it is becasue he is attracted to you, wther physically or mentally, and he has already thought about sex with you before the appetizer got to the table. Call me a pig or whatever, I am just being truthful. We all want to be loved and to love someone, sex is a part of that. Now with all that being said, flowers or no flowers, most men can't win for losing when it comes to dating. Most of the time we don't know what women want, because most of the time, women don't know what they want.

    And let the rants begin..

    I'm gonna agree with this. When you meet somebody and ask them out on a date it doesn't matter if you're the a guy or a girl. You asked them out because you were attracted to them, which means you thought about having sex with them (you may not have completed the thought or even realized you had it but it was there). Flowers are a sweet gesture and should be taken as such without reading too much into what kind or how many. The only time I have ever gotten flowers was when a guy I was with screwed up big time and thought the flowers would get him out of it. Any women is lucky to be wooed by a man, it may not be the way you dreamed of it going but the gesture should be taken as it was meant or it may never be offered again.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I think he was raised with manners...lots of women SAY they want a nice guy, then when they meet one they find something wrong with him when he does something nice...just saying

    I agree, and this is how you know when a woman has a major self-esteem deficiency, which most women do these days. A woman who gets mad at you for treating her well clearly doesn't think very much of herself, and if you're going to hang around for that, well, be prepared for an emotional roller coaster.

    I don't understand why women no longer think they are special. When did it become a bad thing for a man to pick you up at your place (with flowers even!), take you out for a nice evening (and by "nice," I don't mean "expensive;" I mean "pleasant"), and escort you home at the end of the night? Now, if you suggest picking a woman up rather than having her meet you somewhere or if you bring her flowers or if you insist on paying for her meal, you're "creepy" or "moving too fast."

    I had a blind date last week with a friend of a friend. He called me the day before we went out to ask where I wanted to meet. I told him I meet friends at restaurants; I don't meet gentlemen I'm dating anywhere. That was all I had to say. He acted like a man, came to my door, and treated me like a queen the entire night. I told him he made me feel special, and he said "That's the highest compliment you could've paid me." We already have plans to see each other again tomorrow night and again after Christmas. It is not that complicated, y'all.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    I think this thread is proof for the single men that if a woman is annoyed that you brought her flowers and ditches you because of it, she was going to be a self-absorbed pain in the *kitten* anyway.

    Giving a woman flowers on the second date doesn't mean "I'm in love with you, and I want you to marry me and have my children." It means, simply, "I like you, and I wasn't raised in a brothel." As a woman, your response should be a gracious smile and "Thank you. They're beautiful." If you don't like getting flowers and that's not what you "want out of a relationship," tell him that later when you'are actually IN a relationship with him.

    I really feel like apologizing on behalf of my entire sex after some of the threads I've seen on here lately.

    I disagree. Giving a woman a dozen red roses on a second date means "I want to sleep with you and I'm too lazy to check/stupid to know that this is an inappropriate gift at this point". I'd show him the door, too, because I don't like a man with zero common sense.

    I've got news for you, the fact he asked her on a date in the first place probably meant he wanted to sleep with her, the flowers were secondary. Just being honest here. If you are single and a man asks you out on a date, it is becasue he is attracted to you, wther physically or mentally, and he has already thought about sex with you before the appetizer got to the table. Call me a pig or whatever, I am just being truthful. We all want to be loved and to love someone, sex is a part of that. Now with all that being said, flowers or no flowers, most men can't win for losing when it comes to dating. Most of the time we don't know what women want, because most of the time, women don't know what they want.

    And let the rants begin..

    Im going to agree with you too! Women go out with men theyd like to sleep with also. This isnt exclusive to men. Women need to stop trying to read into the gestures men are making. Often times, they misinterpret. Whatever happened to communication? Like, telling someone if they crossed a line and establishing boundaries. Or about thanking a man for opening your car door, bringing you flowers, etc... not analyzing the way he did it and wondering what he wants from it. Women over complicate when we start talking about types of flowers and the meanings behind the colors they picked. Men could care less about these rules. I feel sorry for you guys!
  • calimari
    calimari Posts: 202 Member
    My brother brought a dozen red roses on a first date. They married 9 months later and have been together 38 years. Lucky for him the roses didn't freak her out too badly.
  • MisterDubs303
    MisterDubs303 Posts: 1,216 Member

    I've got news for you, the fact he asked her on a date in the first place probably meant he wanted to sleep with her, the flowers were secondary. Just being honest here. If you are single and a man asks you out on a date, it is becasue he is attracted to you, wther physically or mentally, and he has already thought about sex with you before the appetizer got to the table. Call me a pig or whatever, I am just being truthful. We all want to be loved and to love someone, sex is a part of that. Now with all that being said, flowers or no flowers, most men can't win for losing when it comes to dating. Most of the time we don't know what women want, because most of the time, women don't know what they want.

    And let the rants begin..
    I'm not going to argue that men aren't thinking about or imagining sex at some point, even early on, but I will argue that it is not everyone's goal, and certainly not the end to which all other actions or sentiments are merely "secondary."
  • 0SimplymeStacyLea0
    0SimplymeStacyLea0 Posts: 222
    I really don't think it had anything to do with the roses or the number of roses. I usually know after two dates if there is any chemistry there or not. But I also think the roses were sweet. Maybe a little overboard with a dozen but still sweet. Yes we are complicated creatures and yes the dating world is crazy. :ohwell:
  • stcar
    stcar Posts: 207 Member
    I think he was raised with manners...lots of women SAY they want a nice guy, then when they meet one they find something wrong with him when he does something nice...just saying

    I agree, and this is how you know when a woman has a major self-esteem deficiency, which most women do these days. A woman who gets mad at you for treating her well clearly doesn't think very much of herself, and if you're going to hang around for that, well, be prepared for an emotional roller coaster.

    I don't understand why women no longer think they are special. When did it become a bad thing for a man to pick you up at your place (with flowers even!), take you out for a nice evening (and by "nice," I don't mean "expensive;" I mean "pleasant"), and escort you home at the end of the night? Now, if you suggest picking a woman up rather than having her meet you somewhere or if you bring her flowers or if you insist on paying for her meal, you're "creepy" or "moving too fast."

    I had a blind date last week with a friend of a friend. He called me the day before we went out to ask where I wanted to meet. I told him I meet friends at restaurants; I don't meet gentlemen I'm dating anywhere. That was all I had to say. He acted like a man, came to my door, and treated me like a queen the entire night. I told him he made me feel special, and he said "That's the highest compliment you could've paid me." We already have plans to see each other again tomorrow night and again after Christmas. It is not that complicated, y'all.

    Pick women up for dates, yes...open doors, absolutely, pay for dinner, oh yes for sure. Flowers on the second date, seems like you're trying to hard and a little desperate. Confidence is key and very attractive....flowers are something you give someone who you're in a relationship with...in my opinion.
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member
    My brother brought a dozen red roses on a first date. They married 9 months later and have been together 38 years. Lucky for him the roses didn't freak her out too badly.

    I wonder what else he gave her on the first date ;)
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
    This boggles my mind!!
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    She wasn't the right girl for him.
    My husband didn't give me flowers until we had been dating for four months. It was my birthday, and he was out of town, so he sent them. BUT, he did open the car door for me on our first date (and many more, though now, not so much.. :laugh: ). He walked me to my door at the end of the date (I still lived with my mom, so he knew he wasn't going to be invited in for a pajama party...), and held doors open for me. Some women find THAT behavior creepy or condescending. I felt ..... honored. I was and am the right girl for him.
  • MikeBurkey
    MikeBurkey Posts: 3
    I think men just need to come to the realization that no matter what we do we are always wrong. I can't believe the girl dumped him because he brought flowers with him on their date. In my mind, I would think any girl would love flowers from anyone - unless it was, like, a stalker - but obviously the girl was interested in him enough to go on two dates with him. Honestly, I would be a little irritated if I got dumped because I did something that I thought was a nice gesture. I'm glad I'm married because you women are confusing. :)
  • mlbazemore
    mlbazemore Posts: 252 Member
    I think your friend let a really good thing go...but maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic. I mean think about it, how many guys take women on dates nowadays? Never mind two. I guess it all depends on what she's looking for....if she's looking for a nice guy that will respect her and treat her like the queen all women should be treated like then she might want to rethink her decision...if she's looking for someone to "hook up" with no strings attached, might not even remember her name the next week then she shouldn't string hm along. Then again maybe I've been watching too much 'How I Met Your Mother.'

    Anyway, I guess it's like you said they were just flowers, it's not like there was a ring hidden in the bouquet...or was there? lol
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member

    I've got news for you, the fact he asked her on a date in the first place probably meant he wanted to sleep with her, the flowers were secondary. Just being honest here. If you are single and a man asks you out on a date, it is becasue he is attracted to you, wther physically or mentally, and he has already thought about sex with you before the appetizer got to the table. Call me a pig or whatever, I am just being truthful. We all want to be loved and to love someone, sex is a part of that. Now with all that being said, flowers or no flowers, most men can't win for losing when it comes to dating. Most of the time we don't know what women want, because most of the time, women don't know what they want.

    And let the rants begin..
    I'm not going to argue that men aren't thinking about or imagining sex at some point, even early on, but I will argue that it is not everyone's goal, and certainly not the end to which all other actions or sentiments are merely "secondary."
    But it is the goal. If it wasn't, there wouldn't have been a date to begin with. They would just be pals who shared recipes and exchanged pokes on FB. I honestly beleive anyone asking anyone else out on a date, in hopes to start a relaitonship has to realize that sex is a part of said relationship.

    I am not going to say sex is the driving factor for all men. When I met my wife, I genuinley liked her for her personality, laugh, sense of humor and strong will, of course all those things made me attracted to her and thus made me think of sex with her.. so you see, it is an evolutionary circle. And yes, I brought her flowers on our first date; a cute little spring arrangment, then dinner, and then a jazz club. The moral of the story is, if a guy brings you flowers, it is not to get into your pants, but to show you how serious he is about getting in your pants. Or maybe he is just a gentleman who wants to show you he can do somehting nice for you.
  • annemckee
    annemckee Posts: 170 Member
    I love flowers. Would accept flowers from anyone. Heck, I buy myself flowers. They'r e only flowers. They just die anyway.
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member

    I agree, and this is how you know when a woman has a major self-esteem deficiency, which most women do these days. A woman who gets mad at you for treating her well

    I don't get mad when a man treats me well but a dozen red roses on the 2nd date is either a) moving WAY too fast or b) completely clueless. If it's the former, maybe we'll have a frank discussion. But jeez, if it's the latter, I imagine I'll be teaching him which fork to use next
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    Now ok maybe a dozen was too much, but give the guy some credit. I have NEVER had a man buy me flowers!! I would be honored that he even thought of that. I would take the flowers over say a 12 pack and a box of condoms, especially on a second date. He was being sweet and thoughtful, shouldnt be deducted points for that!
    Whoa.. do you know how much a good 12 pack and a box of condoms cost?

    J/K :happy:

    Define 'box' of condoms..a 3 pack for a great night or a dozen for a nice long weekend? :drinker:
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member


    Define 'box' of condoms..a 3 pack for a great night or a dozen for a nice long weekend? :drinker:

    Oh man, not to thread jack but I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE your dog
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    Now ok maybe a dozen was too much, but give the guy some credit. I have NEVER had a man buy me flowers!! I would be honored that he even thought of that. I would take the flowers over say a 12 pack and a box of condoms, especially on a second date. He was being sweet and thoughtful, shouldnt be deducted points for that!
    Whoa.. do you know how much a good 12 pack and a box of condoms cost?

    J/K :happy:

    Define 'box' of condoms..a 3 pack for a great night or a dozen for a nice long weekend? :drinker:
    I only buy them in 3 packs, keeps me humble, but still, those Magnums are expensive :bigsmile:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I am tempted to post my address for any and all flower deliveries ...


    ungrateful yotches killing men's will to live.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    I am tempted to post my address for any and all flower deliveries ...


    ungrateful yotches killing any men's will to live.
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I am tempted to post my address for any and all flower deliveries ...


    ungrateful yotches killing any men's will to live.
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    *SMOOCHES*
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    Now ok maybe a dozen was too much, but give the guy some credit. I have NEVER had a man buy me flowers!! I would be honored that he even thought of that. I would take the flowers over say a 12 pack and a box of condoms, especially on a second date. He was being sweet and thoughtful, shouldnt be deducted points for that!
    Whoa.. do you know how much a good 12 pack and a box of condoms cost?

    J/K :happy:

    3 for just a night??? are you kidding me?!?!?!? maybe a 6 pack for a night, a dozen or more for a weekend!! lol

    Define 'box' of condoms..a 3 pack for a great night or a dozen for a nice long weekend? :drinker:
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    I am tempted to post my address for any and all flower deliveries ...


    ungrateful yotches killing any men's will to live.
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    *SMOOCHES*
    See, a lady that knows how to respond when given flowers. You are welcome.
  • juleseybaby
    juleseybaby Posts: 712 Member
    *SMH*:laugh:

    I was out with friends one night... and this HORRIBLE, AWFUL man brought me a single rose - just because. Then there was this other time that a man heard me sing and wanted to buy me a drink. The nerve! I mean, clearly - it had nothing to do with anything other than they must have wanted me in a BIG way.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Seriously???

    I'll take some flowers!

    Dudes... if any of you would like to take care of an urge to send flowers - let me know. My husband may wonder what the heck is going on... :ohwell: But that could be a good night too! (Making up can be so much fun. :smokin: )
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    Now ok maybe a dozen was too much, but give the guy some credit. I have NEVER had a man buy me flowers!! I would be honored that he even thought of that. I would take the flowers over say a 12 pack and a box of condoms, especially on a second date. He was being sweet and thoughtful, shouldnt be deducted points for that!
    Whoa.. do you know how much a good 12 pack and a box of condoms cost?

    J/K :happy:


    Define 'box' of condoms..a 3 pack for a great night or a dozen for a nice long weekend? :drinker:

    3 for just a night??? are you kidding me?!?!?!? maybe a 6 pack for a night, a dozen or more for a weekend!! lol
    :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    I'm going to call that guy lucky because he just got saved from a train wreck.
    He may not think so right now but imagine the future issues if she thought that about the roses.
  • Galletakek
    Galletakek Posts: 285
    Nice gesture! :) sweet guy, went out his way to do that!... I would love for someone to do that for me.....
  • Galletakek
    Galletakek Posts: 285
    I'm going to call that guy lucky because he just got saved from a train wreck.
    He may not think so right now but imagine the future issues if she thought that about the roses.

    Bahahahahaha
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    Now ok maybe a dozen was too much, but give the guy some credit. I have NEVER had a man buy me flowers!! I would be honored that he even thought of that. I would take the flowers over say a 12 pack and a box of condoms, especially on a second date. He was being sweet and thoughtful, shouldnt be deducted points for that!
    Whoa.. do you know how much a good 12 pack and a box of condoms cost?

    J/K :happy:


    Define 'box' of condoms..a 3 pack for a great night or a dozen for a nice long weekend? :drinker:

    3 for just a night??? are you kidding me?!?!?!? maybe a 6 pack for a night, a dozen or more for a weekend!! lol
    :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    Don't need a condom for everything...need to give the parts a rest in-between...calluses are not fun on the naughty bits..:bigsmile:
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    Now ok maybe a dozen was too much, but give the guy some credit. I have NEVER had a man buy me flowers!! I would be honored that he even thought of that. I would take the flowers over say a 12 pack and a box of condoms, especially on a second date. He was being sweet and thoughtful, shouldnt be deducted points for that!
    Whoa.. do you know how much a good 12 pack and a box of condoms cost?

    J/K :happy:


    Define 'box' of condoms..a 3 pack for a great night or a dozen for a nice long weekend? :drinker:

    3 for just a night??? are you kidding me?!?!?!? maybe a 6 pack for a night, a dozen or more for a weekend!! lol
    :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    Don't need a condom for everything...need to give the parts a rest in-between...calluses are not fun on the naughty bits..:bigsmile:

    thats called intermission and half time lol :drinker:
This discussion has been closed.

Categories