In love with flatmate, what to do?

_Angie
_Angie Posts: 19
edited October 7 in Chit-Chat
I live with one of the most amazing guys ever!! He cooks and even packs me lunch every morning and on special occasions I even get a chocolate for college. I find myself constantly dreaming about him and can't wait for him to come home very evening so we get to spend some time together.

I'm also getting jealous when he spends more time with other girls and I'm really afraid that I might lose him. What is the best way to tell him and will this jeopardize our living arrangements?
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Replies

  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Just tell him outright and be prepared for whatever answer he gives.
    If he isn`t interested then it is up to you to accept that and act in a way that doesn`t push him away.
  • _Angie
    _Angie Posts: 19
    Just tell him outright and be prepared for whatever answer he gives.
    If he isn`t interested then it is up to you to accept that and act in a way that doesn`t push him away.

    I'm so afraid that he might reject me :ohwell:
  • tashajayne2011
    tashajayne2011 Posts: 288
    he packs you lunch and gives you chocolates as a nice surprise?!!? thats man speak for "please notice me" I am 90% sure of it. You are smart AND pretty and he clearly cares for you - so sit him down and tell him how you feel. If not you are going to regret wasting so much time!

    and then come back and tell us all how it went :)
  • _Angie
    _Angie Posts: 19
    he packs you lunch and gives you chocolates as a nice surprise?!!? thats man speak for "please notice me" I am 90% sure of it. You are smart AND pretty and he clearly cares for you - so sit him down and tell him how you feel. If not you are going to regret wasting so much time!

    and then come back and tell us all how it went :)

    Do I just tell him that I have strong feelings for him or can I be dead honest and tell him how much I love him? Don't want to scare him off either
  • stayxtrue
    stayxtrue Posts: 1,186 Member
    It seems you both have feelings for one another. As I guy I lived with a girl and never ever did I do anything like that for her as I did not have the feelings for her, on the ohter hand if I lived with a girl and had feelings for her I would do many things to grab her attention as he is doing...

    Just sit down with him, maybe cook him a nice dinner and just chat =]
  • tashajayne2011
    tashajayne2011 Posts: 288
    well you probably want to avoid saying something like "oh and I have the names of our kids picked out.." but just ask him out.. or, tell him you are cooking him dinner and make a very romantic table for the 2 of you and take it from there..

    You have to be prepared for him not to feel the same way but in all honesty I don't think thats the case judging by what you have said. is it just you 2 flatsharing?
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    I'd tell him you have strong feelings. He's so sweet I'm 90% sure also that he really likes u x
  • inge88
    inge88 Posts: 184 Member
    It looks like a good sign that he is cooking you dinner and packing you lunch. But some guys are like that and it doesn't have to mean anything.

    What I would do... have a 'romantic' night. Put on a movie, have a good glass of wine, snuggle up a little bit when the movie gets romantic or scary... you will notice if he is into it or not as soon as you move a bit over to him :)

    GOod luck and definitely let us know how you go!!!
  • coxy2008
    coxy2008 Posts: 20 Member
    If he is doing those things for you I’m pretty sure he likes you, so just bite the bullet and go for it before the want ifs creep in
  • _Angie
    _Angie Posts: 19
    It seems you both have feelings for one another. As I guy I lived with a girl and never ever did I do anything like that for her as I did not have the feelings for her, on the ohter hand if I lived with a girl and had feelings for her I would do many things to grab her attention as he is doing...

    Just sit down with him, maybe cook him a nice dinner and just chat =]
    I needed that :smile: thanks

    well you probably want to avoid saying something like "oh and I have the names of our kids picked out.." but just ask him out.. or, tell him you are cooking him dinner and make a very romantic table for the 2 of you and take it from there..

    You have to be prepared for him not to feel the same way but in all honesty I don't think thats the case judging by what you have said. is it just you 2 flatsharing?

    Yes it's just the two of us living in the flat. Would a fondue with wine be overkill? My class is finishing in a few hours giving me ample time to get groceries and do it this evening when he gets back from work.
  • leestanley3
    leestanley3 Posts: 37 Member
    Move out, sorry to be a killer of the joy, but if the guy does get scared off you've lost a really good friend. Perhaps keep ticking over and wait for him to make the move, that way you'll definately know, otherwise he might just see you as a little sis type figure that he wants to take care of and make sure you are OK.
  • shasha_84
    shasha_84 Posts: 170
    I also vote tell him. Its better to let him know then hide your feelings and never know what could have been.
    It sounds to me like he may have feelings for you too.
  • tashajayne2011
    tashajayne2011 Posts: 288
    what does he like? if I was cooking a meal for my man I would make a lasagne or steak and chips (because he likes them)

    Definitely have wine though!!
  • amyofftherecord
    amyofftherecord Posts: 64 Member
    I was in the same situation a while ago. Roommate, in love, little favours... When I went out to shovel snow, I'd come in to find hot chocolate and a blanket waiting for me. :)

    I told him how I felt, but I also told him it wasn't that I was expecting him to feel the same way, I just wanted him to know. As it turns out he didn't feel the same way, but since I put no pressure on him to reciprocate (and made a conscious effort *not* to act any differently around him afterwards), things didn't really get weird. It sucked seeing him go after other girls, but he was still my bestie.

    And he still made me hot chocolate. :)
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Presuming he's single, and you're not an evil person, his answer will be yes to a date. You're very pretty, and if he knows you personally as well, he knows what to expect with you. Men don't friend-zone girls - that's something you evil womenfolk do.

    Also, even if he does say no, he doesn't seem the kind of guy to make life unpleasant thereafter - you may be awkward for a couple of days, but it won't do any lasting harm.
  • oberon0124
    oberon0124 Posts: 10,524 Member
    Take it from a male. He must be interested in you also. So just lay your feelings for him out there! He will more than likely say he has the same feelings for you also. But at the outside chance that he does not be prepared to deal with that also. I would bet though that he is really interested in you as much more than a flat mate! Good luck and I wish you nothing but success in this my friend!!!
  • tashajayne2011
    tashajayne2011 Posts: 288
    Presuming he's single, and you're not an evil person, his answer will be yes to a date. You're very pretty, and if he knows you personally as well, he knows what to expect with you. Men don't friend-zone girls - that's something you evil womenfolk do.

    this is true, men are simple folk :p
  • feistymoon
    feistymoon Posts: 152
    Why not get a neutral friend to casually drop in how good a couple you two would make.... then gauge his reaction!! It might tell you whether it's worth taking the risk or not.
  • PrincessGlitterTush
    PrincessGlitterTush Posts: 388
    DONT tell him you love him.. This is scary when it happens.. Do something nice.. dinner is a good suggestion.. Maybe drink a bit if you're old enough.. And let him drink a bit too.. Make a move.. If you don't - you'll always wonder 'what could've been'.. If you're scared of getting rejected.. Be more subtle about how you feel.. Down play your feelings for him. Tell him you think he's cute when he does those lunches and things for you.. But with meaning. If he continues to do them - he's totally into you. If not - he thinks its weird you think its cute and he's just doing it to be nice.. I doubt it though..

    Or just straight up tell him that you're into him. Ask him on a date.. ??? But let him know it's a date.. and not just as roomies :)

    Youre gorgeous and I'm sure he thinks it too.. GO GET HIM TIGER!!!
  • _Angie
    _Angie Posts: 19
    Makes me very anxious to ask him, should I just do the fondue and hint for a kiss and see where it goes? I don't take rejections well
  • tashajayne2011
    tashajayne2011 Posts: 288
    then do what you are most comfortable with!
  • Jaxster12
    Jaxster12 Posts: 25 Member
    I have a gay flatmate that packs my lunches since according to him I'm killing myself with the processed food at work...just saying
  • inge88
    inge88 Posts: 184 Member
    Oh man, I'm actually so excited for you! I have been in a relationship for so long now and even though I love my boyfriend so much, I miss that excitement of just having butterflies and not knowing what will happen when!

    I vote for dinner with wine! Just say you are making him dinner because he always does those things for you and you really appreciate it. Maybe things will happen over dinner.. otherwise after dinner on the couch is always easier! Yeah, hint for a kiss!
  • PrincessGlitterTush
    PrincessGlitterTush Posts: 388
    Heehee.. shame man.. to be in love.. :love:

    I love this story though.. It's just too cute..

    Be subtle.. Or play a game with him or something that requires some form of honest answers..

    OOOOOO.. V-day is coming up.. Send him something to his work place.. Or ask him if you can make dinner for him???
  • jimmie25
    jimmie25 Posts: 266
    Not even the guy I used to date for 2 years packed me lunch or made me hot chocolate :DD Like ever... So if your roommate does all those things, there must be something to it :D Let us know!
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I can't tell you what he is thinking.

    I can tell you that when I was at school there was a boy who was like that to me. He used to lend me money, come round to do my ironing, he once walked 4 miles into town and back to buy me humous because I had mentioned liking it.

    I didn't think anything of it and thought he was just a nice guy. In fact, he had another girlfriend at the time.

    A year after we left school I realised that of everything, he was what I missed most about school.

    We've been married for 12 1/2 years now and have 2 little boys!
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    How about just asking him out to dinner?
  • _Angie
    _Angie Posts: 19
    I can't tell you what he is thinking.

    I can tell you that when I was at school there was a boy who was like that to me. He used to lend me money, come round to do my ironing, he once walked 4 miles into town and back to buy me humous because I had mentioned liking it.

    I didn't think anything of it and thought he was just a nice guy. In fact, he had another girlfriend at the time.

    A year after we left school I realised that of everything, he was what I missed most about school.

    We've been married for 12 1/2 years now and have 2 little boys!

    I cried reading your post! Thank you so much!

    I'm making a list of all the foods I can use for a fondue and going to try and make it as romantic as possible by laying cushions on the floor and doing it outside under the starry night. If it doesn't work out then I hope things don't get weird or that he avoids me.

    Can you fondue steak?
  • rajivdubey
    rajivdubey Posts: 382 Member
    Thats cute...but don't make the first move...let him do that !
  • _Angie
    _Angie Posts: 19
    Thats cute...but don't make the first move...let him do that !

    He has been doing it for the past 6 months, how long should I wait?
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