friends with benefits

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Replies

  • princessputz
    princessputz Posts: 283 Member
    Worked just fine for me in the past just have to lay out the ground rules.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    Hey I just got that movie in from Netflix!

    I'll be watching it tonight with my former FWB who is now my SO.

    Don't ever let someone tell you what does and doesn't work. They ain't you.

    funny movie...i would be Mila kunis's FWB anyday.
  • SimplyShanRunning
    SimplyShanRunning Posts: 885 Member
    Definately feel it's a couple to couple thing, but my experience is that someone always develops feelings. Plus, many times it can ruin what was a great friendship.

    These days I would rather have the real deal, love, smiles, tears, fights, and all.

    This.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Definately feel it's a couple to couple thing, but my experience is that someone always develops feelings. Plus, many times it can ruin what was a great friendship.

    These days I would rather have the real deal, love, smiles, tears, fights, and all.
    This, totally. Many times both parties think they can agree that it's just for sex...but as time goes on, someone usually starts wishing for more than the other person.
  • busyPK
    busyPK Posts: 3,788 Member
    This is something I've never had any desire to do. I enjoy relationships - the good, bad and ugly! Probably why I'm married with two kids by the age of 25. :laugh: To each their own though!
  • mashemup
    mashemup Posts: 2 Member


    **** buddy worked like a charm- had a year plus of string free sex before I found a steady g/f and we parted ways with no hurt.

    How does the conversation go that ends the relationship?

    Fairly easy - "Hey Amber... I found someone I really like and it seems to be working. I dont want to be cheating on them since its getting serious so I think its time for me to move on after today" "Ok Mike- its been fun with you- good luck on your new relationship and I hope it works out"

    I'm paraphrasing but that was really about it literally.

    HAHAHAHA! "after today". So you already felt it was serious enough to quit, but one more time wouldn't be cheating? that's funny.
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
    Hey I just got that movie in from Netflix!

    I'll be watching it tonight with my former FWB who is now my SO.

    Don't ever let someone tell you what does and doesn't work. They ain't you.

    funny movie...i would be Mila kunis's FWB anyday.

    Fine....Ill take JT, like they say it's only gay if you look into each others eyes during the act.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    People who indulge in that kind of thing end up losing their capacity to bond with a significant other. There is a kind of hardness of heart that the practice requires, the using, not giving aspect, that ends up twisting the person significantly.

    Women especially can be the losers in this, because their physiology is built in such a way that they bond more deeply to their first sexual partner than to any subsequent one. The science is out there, so you can google your way to it. As the song goes, the pleasure last but a moment, but the sadness lasts a lifetime. There is never the same degree of passion.

    But men can be the losers, especially if they are good at this game. Later they are unable to form families because they can`t bond with a woman. This leaves them without support networks as they age, and accounts for the higher degree of suicide in older single males.

    There is no such thing as a free lunch. You end up paying for it one way or the other.

    I would love to see citations of research showing this. Specifically, I would like to see citations from peer-reviewed, scientific journals.
  • sylvuz323
    sylvuz323 Posts: 468 Member
    Ok, FWB didn't fail if it ended up in a relationship...the FWB worked just fine it just developed into something more. So yes more feelings developed and luckily they both felt the same about one another. I would never have a FWB if I couldn't see them as someone in my life, whether that be a friend or something more.
  • dlyeates
    dlyeates Posts: 875 Member
    Call me old fashioned (and I'm not old) but I think sex should be reserved for 2 people in a committed relationship. I actually believe it should be a married relationship but most people laugh at me for that but at least be committed.

    I also don't think it would work all that much because someone would most likely fall for the other.
  • MoooveOverFluffy
    MoooveOverFluffy Posts: 398 Member
    In my opinion, it's hard to remain emotionally detached. If you're physically attracted to the person, and they have a great personality, you're probably eventually going to want more than a bump-n-run. Then it could get awkward if you've already discussed "rules" (with rule numero uno being "this is not going to turn into a relationship").

    Maybe they look great, but they're really dumb/obnoxious/whatever........bang the hell out of him without talking and bounce. (and protect yourself since the other person may have several FWB).

    GOOD LUCK ;0)
  • hausofnichele
    hausofnichele Posts: 531 Member
    I've had plenty of past experience with this and it CAN be possible if you know you have absolutely no romantic feelings going on between you. If you're completely detached and both agree and understand that it's purely just for fun occasionally, then go for it. Whatever feels ok for you.
  • SixPackIsMyGoal
    SixPackIsMyGoal Posts: 121 Member
    Forget the FWB, too complicated and although it can and does work, odds are against you. Just make it a one night stand and keep it simple. :)
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    could not do that...:huh:
    to each his or her own though.
  • rocketpants
    rocketpants Posts: 419 Member
    I offer a 401K and a quality dental plan!!
  • MattGetsMad
    MattGetsMad Posts: 429 Member
    Ok, FWB didn't fail if it ended up in a relationship...the FWB worked just fine it just developed into something more. So yes more feelings were there are luckily they both felt the same about one another. I would never have a FWB if I couldn't see them as someone in my life, whether that be a friend or something more.

    I have to disagree. If FWB situation leads to a relationship, then it was really just a new-wave form of courting.

    I understand that married folks refer to their partners as their "best friend" but try introducing them as your "friend". Wouldn't go over too well.

    If you wanna call a FWB benefit situation a "success" i think you have to still be FWB or still be F without the B. Anything else would be a failure of the original FWB situation.

    And if you don't agree with me you can go benefit yourself! :laugh: Just kidding!!!
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
    I offer a 401K and a quality dental plan!!

    I got a pension and my AARP card....wat up now biotch?
  • Elizabeth_M
    Elizabeth_M Posts: 562 Member
    Didn't work for me, in the end. We started off saying it was just going to be 'as friends' (or 'f' buddy lol) and nothing else, but he wanted more and more. While I enjoyed being with him, as a friend and more, I didn't see anything long term. He was more fun to be with, but we didn't connect on a deeper level that I felt I needed. It was kind of sad...when i did get a boyfriend after him, he was quite bitter about it, and didn't really hang out with him again.
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
    I had one that worked. 2 others failed. The failure was on my part. Me and my "feelings".....
  • rollycollysmama
    rollycollysmama Posts: 143
    Love my dial a **** :) he is an awesome guy and knows exactly how i like it, and than we still hang out, never akward for us. its been going on 3 years now on and off, we both respect eachother, and are good friends, but we never want(ed) to date each other....perfect "couple" Lol
  • GoreWhore72
    GoreWhore72 Posts: 190 Member
    I heard it can work. I have seen my friends be in those type of friendships, but it's very spontaneous, and very open. Otherwise someone's heart gets broken in the end.
  • jskaggs1971
    jskaggs1971 Posts: 371 Member
    FWB / FB : Like a lot of people, I had a few of these in college, but in general, not my cup o' tea. I like the whole kaboodle, not just the kit.

    That may have something to do with why I'm rapidly approaching my 15th anniversary with teh wifey.
  • GoreWhore72
    GoreWhore72 Posts: 190 Member
    HAHA
  • GoreWhore72
    GoreWhore72 Posts: 190 Member
    I offer a 401K and a quality dental plan!!

    I got a pension and my AARP card....wat up now biotch?


    HAHAHAHHA
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    All these types of relationships I had before dating my boyfriend worked out fine - I got sex when I wanted it, and didn't have to worry about the stress and responsibility of a relationship. It's perfectly fine to want sex and nothing more, and it can work out as long as there are rules set in place for both participants.
  • GoreWhore72
    GoreWhore72 Posts: 190 Member
    Never been that type of guy, so I can't help ya out. I figured if she's my "friend," then how many "friends" does she have? LOL, I never was very good at sharing! : )



    GOOD POINT!!
  • runbyme
    runbyme Posts: 522 Member
    I totally think it is possible though finding a guy that complies is a little harder to find! I have had much better luck with the benefits I get from the friends I have on MFP! Good luck to everyone!
  • GoreWhore72
    GoreWhore72 Posts: 190 Member
    Only losers do that type of crap. Get your head screwed on straight. What is wrong with y'all, get your mind outta the gutter.

    I've had a lot of requests to be a friend with benefits, but I think it constitutes actually hanging out and chillin' before the sex part. hahaa. YA RIGHT!! Good Point btw.
  • MattGetsMad
    MattGetsMad Posts: 429 Member
    Starting to realize something here... Yup just got a full grasp on it.


    Ok, if you think it works then you're most likely the one who is hurting the other person.

    If you think it doesn't work, you've been hurt.

    Think it's probably just as simple as that.
  • loseweightjames
    loseweightjames Posts: 360 Member
    can this ever work out? any one successful with it...mean both sides are 100% cool, or is it destined to have one or both hurt?

    Yes, I've had it work several times, in fact I eventually married my friends with benefits, but we had benefits for several years before deciding to marry and even after marriage we're both allowed to still have benefits on the side.

    i know, sounds strange, have you ever seen the movie Hall Pass? It's kinda like that but not just a week, it's 24/7. You'd be surprised how little you "cheat" when you know you can cheat whenever you want. :smile:
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