friends with benefits

All my MFPs are friends with benefits... the benefits being the support they offer in my boring interest in health, food and fitness and they are the only people I can ramble onto about it all!

eeeks ignorance and judgement.

to OP:

Go for it if you think you can keep things separate. I have not done this myself, but the people I know who have FWB or are in an open relationship, say that communication and rules are the key. As long as both people understand and know where the boundaries are then it can be loads of fun.

Marriage as sex trafficing:
Yes, daughers were looked at as burdens during certain time periods. Through long periods of human history marriage has been a contract, a way of getting political, social or financial benefits to one or both parties involved (parties being either the individuals, or entire family of the individuals, who get married). Not realising that, and living on a pink cloud where marriage has always been about love is ignorance.

Danke.

At a very basic level FWB is a "relationship". Once you start saying things like "communication and rules"..... Can it work? Sure I think anything can work for a while, but maybe not for the long haul. It's my belief that one of the two parties probably wants to be more than friends while the other doesn't want to commit and will take the sex because well its convenient. Sex without any of the obligations we usually tag along with it. I think "relationships" like these are actually becoming more common as people strive to get higher level degrees etc. You don't really have all to much time to commit to a relationship when you are very goal/career driven.

Like I said sweety, just carry on what your doing. You're so deluded that no matter what how much anyone tells you cold heart truth about this subject, not many will because people just like to be *****'s and not speak up, you're gonna carry on your slutty little ways. I feel bad for your husband.

lol why would you feel bad for a man that gets his needs and fantasies met? hes completely happy, i assure you.
like ive said in the past - to each their own. if you dont like having an open relationship, dont do it.

Right now I'm into one although we both professed our love for each other & we have a very good chemistry & we feel really comfortable with each other. But we promised to be there for each other no matter what happens & so we remain friends with benefits. The only thing that keeps us from turning this into a bf-gf relationship is the distance. Although we're both Mexicans but I live in Phils while he is in Mexico. Although I know there's nothing impossible if fate really has it (we're hoping so) but until then we'll see what happens.

I'm not trying to be mean...but I think that's very self-destructive thing to do in the first place. It's just puts a big sign on you that says "i don't respect myself, and instant gratification is more important than true love." It's not meant to work out and never will. I hope you have a change of heart. You're worth so much more.

I respect myself enough to know that I deserve to have my sexual needs fulfilled if I want to. I am now in a happy, exclusive relationship, but when I had FWB-type relationships, I never once felt degraded. We had long talks about what exactly we were doing, how we felt, etc, and I could have stopped any time I felt uncomfortable or it wasn't just working out for me. Not everyone views sex as some sort of sacred act - I was doing something that I enjoyed, with someone whose company I enjoyed - there's no shame in that.

It can work but it depends on many factors.

1) Both parties have to know its a FWB situation. There have been many times were one may think its FWB while the other thinks its a relationship building up. Communication has to be key.

2) Both parties have to be the same level of hotness. You can not have a FWB relationship if one friend is a 9 and the other is a 5. The person with the lower number will always think its more then just an FWB program. Also this number can only fluctuate by one. No more than that.

3) Do not do things that you did not do before the FWB relationship started. If as friends you never went to a movie or went out to eat, do not start this after the sexual contact. This will make one party believe that there is more then just a FWB relationship.

4) Establish rules when out with other friends. Do not just sit with each other and flirt with each other. Nothing is more uncomfortable then FWB always on top of each other ignoring their friends and a good time. Remember you are friends first....sexual partners second.

5) Play the field. If you are both at a club or at a bar and can not get a touchdown elsewhere then FWB contractual agreement states both parties must go home with each other and have strange erotic monkey sex.

Its fine until someone gets too involved. I am a complete commitment phobe! It's not that I don't want to be with someone I would just rather be friends because I feel I'm too young to "settle down" and don't want my life to become someone elses? If that makes sense. Anyway I have had 3 situations like this... One was with a guy from my uni, we got on great and were good friends (with benefits) for quite a few months then on a night out with a group he ended up getting really angry because I hadn't spoken to him yet so stormed home punching a few walls in the process. Needless to say that ended that. Another was with someone I knew through a friend and went well until I hadn't got in contact with him one day and he took it as a personal insult sooo that failed. Then this situation happened with one of my best friends and went on for a while and we were really close. I liked it the way it was because there was no pressure and it just felt natural but he wanted to make things "official" and that scared me so it just fizzled out, a shame really. We are still friends though (although I'm not friends with the other two guys). People generally say this is all guys want but in my experience its the guys who tend to want more!

Anyway getting to the point, I think it CAN work (despite my failed attempts/"relationships") so long as both people are completely clear that that's what it is! You must be actual friends as well I think otherwise it would get messy! Maybe like a year down the line it could turn into more when you are both ready for it and you will already know each others ins and outs. Perfect!

If you are going through this just now, keep boundaries clear and make sure neither of you get too engrossed in it! Hope it works out for you, and everyone else on this forum!

No.

The only friends with benefits that are beneficial are the ones on MFP. We benefit from one another's advise and motivation...lol Otherwise, someone always gets hurt in a friends with benefits situation... Someone will always feel more than the other person... I just don't believe it can turn into a good thing... Sorry.

I tried that once. We both agreed that it was going to be FWB ONLY! Well, it's true about what they say. To be that close to someone and try to keep your emotions at the door is very difficult.

I won't every do it again!

i have a great FWB - been five years. there are times when one or the other of us is unavailable for a few months bedroom-wise, if we date someone else, but we stay friends and then pick up where we left off. we are both careful of each others' feelings. it works for us - a relationship wouldn't as we are very different and not in the compatible way!

i have moments of falling for him - we watch movies, we cuddle in our sleep, and sometimes when i'm down that can be really comforting - but it always balances out.

everyone's different of course, and what works for me wouldn't necessarily work for the next person. i couldn't do it with someone who wasn't trustworthy - i'm lucky that i can trust him with my emotions to a degree.

I think it can if it's clearly stated and understood by both parties that there isn't going to be any relationship/falling in love magically blooming out of it. It can get difficult separating sex from emotions sometimes, but it's doable.

It can be a delicate balance but I only had a problem once with the other person not wanting to let go - and most former FWB are still very good friends of mine. Both parties have to be clear the relationship is casual and you both have a healthy respect for the other person's longer term wants and goals BEFORE the fun begins!

Otherwise, someone always gets hurt in a friends with benefits situation... Someone will always feel more than the other person... I just don't believe it can turn into a good thing... Sorry.

Well, I consider marrying my FWB a "good thing."

I know it works for some people... have been there done that and every single time it has ended badly. I am better friends with Ex's than with anyone I've ever been involved with in a FWB situation. It doesn't work for me EVER... my jealousy always gets in the way.

I don't like to share... as someone else said. LOL