Are blokes only after one thing?????

15681011

Replies

  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    No. but if you're shallow then expect to find shallow guys in return. You get what you put out. Shallow guys are the kind that will use you to put it in your caboose then send you home with cab fare if you're lucky.

    I realize disney movies made it so that the pretty pretty princess gets the buff handsome hot prince who is charming but the reality is shallow begets shallow. There's much more to life.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Now, is this a London thing or are blokes like this everywhere??

    Guys in London simply have more opportunity to be promiscuous given the sheer amount of single (and usually attractive) women there are here but that does not mean they are only after one thing. It may seem that way but that is due to the numbers involved creating a false impression more than anything else.

    Having said that you are more likely to see a leprechaun riding a unicorn then meet a single, successful, attractive and down to earth guy in his 30s in London. Lots of demand mean they get snapped up quickly. If I was a woman I would look further afield or go for a younger age group...
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    Yes - and yes they seem to be the same wherever you are - and they are getting worse and more disgusting and disrespectful with it also.
    Im not a man hater or anything but i couldnt agree more with this. In my experience they are getting worse and its a shame cause i just feel like u have to get thru so many of the bad guys just to find that special one.

    After nine years of it - I just do not bother anymore. Not worth my effort. In saying that though, I have previously been married, had kids, had the house - all of the things that young, single girls still look for. I know it's not what it's cracked up to be so no problems for me - but I feel sorry for them.

    Thats really sad. I just feel like theres no hope 9 times out of 10 tbh :ohwell: And as for what u said about ur friend. Theres so many men like that. Once on a night out, there was a huge stag do out and the stag was trying to pull me, like god's sake, he's getting married. Also one of my best friends, her bf was messaging me, he basically wanted to cheat. How dumb, if ur gunna cheat don't try do it with ur gf's best mate.

    To be honest most decent guys won't approach you, reason being most men would feel intimidated by your beauty or feel insecure being with you.
    Dunno whether to take that as a compliment or not lols. But thanks. Oh well, if thats the case then it looks like i'l probs never find someone cause how i dress and do my hair and make ect is for me and i wouldnt change for anyone cause it wouldnt be right. You;'ve always got to be urself. My ex was a nice guy, im sure if i could do it then i can eventualy find someone nice again lol.
  • andrejjorje
    andrejjorje Posts: 497 Member
    Yes. Those that can they want it 1st. But there is more.
    You want it too as bad as we want it.:tongue:
  • Nitachi
    Nitachi Posts: 142
    Dunno whether to take that as a compliment or not lols. But thanks. Oh well, if thats the case then it looks like i'l probs never find someone cause how i dress and do my hair and make ect is for me and i wouldnt change for anyone cause it wouldnt be right. You;'ve always got to be urself. My ex was a nice guy, im sure if i could do it then i can eventualy find someone nice again lol.

    Sure you can, but you will have to do the hunting as I can promise you that most guys that approach you have just sex on their mind.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    the pattern I'm starting to read out of this thread is:

    "I want a hot guy but one with manners. All the "nice guys" I don't find to be attractive, and all the hot guys I want to be with are crude apes who seem to be after one thing."

    Am I missing something?

    Goes along with: "it's creepy if you hit on me and I dn't find you attractive, but it's a compliment or flattering if you hit on me and I do find you attractive"

    If you're married already, take 30 seconds right now this very moment to get on your knees and prostate yourself to whatever deity you may believe in and thank them for not having to be in the cess pool that is the singles dating game where there is a 1,094 page rulebook you must follow lmao.

    I'm going to go jam to some metal now and get all nasty in code. Hasta.
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    Yes - and yes they seem to be the same wherever you are - and they are getting worse and more disgusting and disrespectful with it also.
    Im not a man hater or anything but i couldnt agree more with this. In my experience they are getting worse and its a shame cause i just feel like u have to get thru so many of the bad guys just to find that special one.

    After nine years of it - I just do not bother anymore. Not worth my effort. In saying that though, I have previously been married, had kids, had the house - all of the things that young, single girls still look for. I know it's not what it's cracked up to be so no problems for me - but I feel sorry for them.

    Thats really sad. I just feel like theres no hope 9 times out of 10 tbh :ohwell: And as for what u said about ur friend. Theres so many men like that. Once on a night out, there was a huge stag do out and the stag was trying to pull me, like god's sake, he's getting married. Also one of my best friends, her bf was messaging me, he basically wanted to cheat. How dumb, if ur gunna cheat don't try do it with ur gf's best mate.

    A recent bucks night I was regretfully in the middle of recently (was travelling interstate and went to dinner) they were so revolting I had to leave the place because I felt like I might be raped if I hung around too long after I finished my dinner. They were so animalistic!!!!

    (oh and it was two friends - 2 since Saturday :huh: )
    Sadly i can relate to this story in some respects but i won't go into it. All i can say, thru my experiences with guys and ones like the ones you've just mentioned, i don't care how shallow i sound about my type of guy ect. I've been hurt a lot and feel i have a right to be fussy espesh cause having given a guy who i wasnt attracted to a chance, well he just proved to me why i shouldnt give guys a chance. Actualy readin this thread makes me think i'l just turn lesbian haha!
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    I was told once - men talk to women to get sex, women have sex to have someone to talk to.

    Simple and well put!!!
    Umm anyone knows when a guys is done...he falls asleep immediately.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    "I'll just turn lesbian" ....how droll.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    "I'll just turn lesbian" ....how droll.
    hey! You are ruining my mental picture...
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    No. but if you're shallow then expect to find shallow guys in return. You get what you put out. Shallow guys are the kind that will use you to put it in your caboose then send you home with cab fare if you're lucky.

    I realize disney movies made it so that the pretty pretty princess gets the buff handsome hot prince who is charming but the reality is shallow begets shallow. There's much more to life.
    I don't want a buff guy. I couldnt care less about guys with six packs and all that. I just want someone im attracted to and feel a connection with. Why on earth would i want to get with a guy who i don't have an attraction with and feel no spark. It doesnt make sense to try force feelings upon urself for guys u don't look at and fancy. Bloody hell, u can't sleep with a guy u don't find attractive in the slightest. Don;t get me wrong, i don;t think its all about looks, sometimes personality can make someone so attractive but sometimes if they don't float ur boat looks wise then how would there ever be any chemistry, there just wouldnt.
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    Dunno whether to take that as a compliment or not lols. But thanks. Oh well, if thats the case then it looks like i'l probs never find someone cause how i dress and do my hair and make ect is for me and i wouldnt change for anyone cause it wouldnt be right. You;'ve always got to be urself. My ex was a nice guy, im sure if i could do it then i can eventualy find someone nice again lol.

    Sure you can, but you will have to do the hunting as I can promise you that most guys that approach you have just sex on their mind.
    Luckily i've become wise lol.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    So, to generalize...

    Women are only interested in our money....

    Men are only interested in sex....

    Prostitutes.
    Thats a load of crap. I'd rather not have money and be happy and in love then have money and be with someone that doesnt make me happy.

    But it is perfectly ok to have a 15 page thread on how men just want sex though right?

    Thank you.
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    "I'll just turn lesbian" ....how droll.
    Um yeh, whatever that means.
  • Jaxster12
    Jaxster12 Posts: 25 Member
    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
    Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.
  • Jaxster12
    Jaxster12 Posts: 25 Member
    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
    Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.

    You might be tough but I'm sure a few roses, a good meal and a slow dance will lighten you up ;) Us men are awesome when it comes to seducing
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
    Thats fair enought and ur actualy right but theres is where the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes in. Like u say about ur appearance and what people would expect from it, well in my case i have blonde hair, big books, wear hair extensions, wear fake tan ect and some guys would probs maybe look at that and think easy or whatever but it couldnt be further from the truth. I have a lot of self respect and certainly arnt easy so it just goes to show that people arnt always what u expect.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    It's the double edged sword of beauty. You have to actually farm through the lemmings leaping on you for the right one. It can be just as isolating and lonely as the unattractive person who has no lemmings at all trying to find the right one.

    Just stop generalizing an entire gender of people. A saying I learned in my mid 20s which carries with me today:

    Look at the things you are complaining about. Then find the common denominator. Then remove it.

    If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.

    If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
    Thats fair enought and ur actualy right but theres is where the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes in. Like u say about ur appearance and what people would expect from it, well in my case i have blonde hair, big books, wear hair extensions, wear fake tan ect and some guys would probs maybe look at that and think easy or whatever but it couldnt be further from the truth. I have a lot of self respect and certainly arnt easy so it just goes to show that people arnt always what u expect.
    Ahhh, i should really read my post before i actualy post it lol. I meant big boobs not big books, what the hell ha.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
    Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.

    You might be tough but I'm sure a few roses, a good meal and a slow dance will lighten you up ;) Us men are awesome when it comes to seducing

    Us men also can tell when something is creepy and you are right at that line.
  • Jaxster12
    Jaxster12 Posts: 25 Member
    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
    Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.

    You might be tough but I'm sure a few roses, a good meal and a slow dance will lighten you up ;) Us men are awesome when it comes to seducing

    Us men also can tell when something is creepy and you are right at that line.

    Not quite creepy but I sure know how to use my charm to get what I want ;)
  • Nitachi
    Nitachi Posts: 142
    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
    Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.

    You might be tough but I'm sure a few roses, a good meal and a slow dance will lighten you up ;) Us men are awesome when it comes to seducing

    Us men also can tell when something is creepy and you are right at that line.

    Ditto
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
    Thats fair enought and ur actualy right but theres is where the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes in. Like u say about ur appearance and what people would expect from it, well in my case i have blonde hair, big books, wear hair extensions, wear fake tan ect and some guys would probs maybe look at that and think easy or whatever but it couldnt be further from the truth. I have a lot of self respect and certainly arnt easy so it just goes to show that people arnt always what u expect.
    Ahhh, i should really read my post before i actualy post it lol. I meant big boobs not big books, what the hell ha.

    Ha! Well, I always make sure anyone I date has big books. that is one of my dating rules, in the words of the wonderful John Waters...."If you go home with someone and they don't have books, don't sleep with them" *edited for swearing
  • Nitachi
    Nitachi Posts: 142
    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
    Thats fair enought and ur actualy right but theres is where the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes in. Like u say about ur appearance and what people would expect from it, well in my case i have blonde hair, big books, wear hair extensions, wear fake tan ect and some guys would probs maybe look at that and think easy or whatever but it couldnt be further from the truth. I have a lot of self respect and certainly arnt easy so it just goes to show that people arnt always what u expect.

    Ever dated a foreign guy with different moral values? Might be interesting and some men of different culture cherish their woman a lot more.
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    It's the double edged sword of beauty. You have to actually farm through the lemmings leaping on you for the right one. It can be just as isolating and lonely as the unattractive person who has no lemmings at all trying to find the right one.

    Just stop generalizing an entire gender of people. A saying I learned in my mid 20s which carries with me today:

    Look at the things you are complaining about. Then find the common denominator. Then remove it.

    If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.

    If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).
    Fair point but you shouldnt have to change urself. I'l never change for anyone, how i dress ect i dress for me. How someone looks doesnt brand them a certain person. End of the day, i DO think theres someone out that for everyone thats a perfect match, its just a matter of finding that person and when u do eventualy, you'll realise it was worth the wait :) And on that note im off for a bath, spent way too much time on here and my lappy is painfully slow. I think on this subject everyone has different oppions and we'r all entitled to them :smile:
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
    Thats fair enought and ur actualy right but theres is where the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes in. Like u say about ur appearance and what people would expect from it, well in my case i have blonde hair, big books, wear hair extensions, wear fake tan ect and some guys would probs maybe look at that and think easy or whatever but it couldnt be further from the truth. I have a lot of self respect and certainly arnt easy so it just goes to show that people arnt always what u expect.

    Ever dated a foreign guy with different moral values? Might be interesting and some men of different culture cherish their woman a lot more.
    Nope, i havnt had the opportunity but i'd never rule it out :smile: lol
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    That's fair but on the same token if you are the common denominator in your issues and you don't want to change, then you can't really complain about what you are attracting changing either.

    It's like the fat guy constantly complaining that he can't date but he won't get off the couch and workout.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I was just talking about this yesterday.

    I am new to dating too after being married for 10 years.

    I'm 32.. I've been dating guys in age range 30-45 so far.

    I don't give it up. Just recently I was a bit more intimiate with a guy whom I really felt comfortable with. We're friends though.

    In my short experience of dating (3-4 months) my guys have all been "good". None of them have treated me like they were only after 1 thing. They're all gentlemen. If they were only after one thing well they didn't get it and either got tired of waiting or moved on to the next.

    I'm selective of who I go out with. I don't go out with just anybody and feel like so far I've made good choices.

    I'm sure there are *kitten* out there.. if you come across one, just next him- not a problem. Just try to be selective of who you go out with.
This discussion has been closed.