Would you cheat?

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  • monicamk1975
    monicamk1975 Posts: 298 Member
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    I would never cheat. It has never crossed my mind. I am married to a wonderful man, that I love regardless of any weight he has gained. Why get married if you would cheat?
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    If I continuously told her she needed to lose weight and she did nothing about it? Is she won't change to keep my interest? Yeah...I am going to find someone else. You only live once.

    If you really loved her you wouldn't want her to change anything....

    Really!?! Wanting someone to be in better shape, to be healthier, to be with you for a longer, healthier more exciting life is wrong?!? Not to me.
  • angied80
    angied80 Posts: 749
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    Wheeeewwwww... :looksaround: SMH. Lots and lots of hateful energy going on in this thread.... :jumpsoutofthread:...
  • NessasMommy081311
    NessasMommy081311 Posts: 122 Member
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    I'm noticing over half of the responses here are from women...and being a woman myself, I know we are not all shallow. This was aimed more towards men, but I'm assuming since there's not too many posting, then the answer is probably yes.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
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    Okay, for me its personal, because I was drunk raped, on my 21st birthday, by an old friends husband as she held me down. My husband thought I cheated on purpose and almost left me over it. He stayed with me, after he found out the details. Needless to say I would never ever cheat. I will admit both my husband and I look, just don't ever touch.
  • dibdobw
    dibdobw Posts: 89 Member
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    No!!!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    If I continuously told her she needed to lose weight and she did nothing about it? Is she won't change to keep my interest? Yeah...I am going to find someone else. You only live once.

    If you really loved her you wouldn't want her to change anything....

    I think that was the point he was making ... he didn't want her to change, she DID change, and now she won't change back, so how much could she possibly love HIM?

    This is likely an unpopular opinion here, but given that physical attraction is so important in a relationship that involves physical intimacy, I do not think it's unreasonable at all to want to leave someone who has chosen to drastically alter his or her appearance and refuses to take his/her spouse's feelings into consideration.

    I'm not talking about gaining 10 pounds. The older you get, the easier it is to put on weight here and there without really noticing. Putting on 50 or 100 pounds and refusing to lose it because "you should love me anyway" ... that's selfish.

    ETA: I don't think the above makes it okay to CHEAT. Leave, yes. There's nothing that makes it okay to cheat.
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,305 Member
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    but honestly thinking about that ... if i'm less attracted physically, the sex decreases and if he continued to not please me enough for me to want to get down, that part of the marriage is going to suffer. Once that suffers, other things suffer. and the marriage could very well break down.

    two options - divorce or find it elsewhere.

    if everything else in the marriage was honky dory except no sex, well, that would suck. and it could easily be held together if i just went elsewhere for sex. Not intamcy, sex.

    Honestly, I don't think humans were even made to be monogamous, but this idea of marriage is making us stick to a rule that isn't in our nature. I think monogamy == intimacy is right on. But I actually do not see a problem with going elsewhere for sex. It would have to be agreed upon, as sneaking is sneaking, but argh. i think society norms have screwed this all up.

    bottom line - if i got physically unappealing, i ~swear to god~ would hope he'd be comfortable going elsewhere for it.
  • NessasMommy081311
    NessasMommy081311 Posts: 122 Member
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    If I continuously told her she needed to lose weight and she did nothing about it? Is she won't change to keep my interest? Yeah...I am going to find someone else. You only live once.

    If you really loved her you wouldn't want her to change anything....

    Really!?! Wanting someone to be in better shape, to be healthier, to be with you for a longer, healthier more exciting life is wrong?!? Not to me.

    I never said it was wrong. I just said if he really loved her he wouldn't want her to change anything. Besides, since when are relationships one-sided? If my husband asked me to lose weight (which he hasn't come out and done, although I know he wants me to) of course I would. But I'd expect him to try to keep the excitement in our marriage as well, and not make me be the one trying to keep it exciting.
  • mfisher16508
    mfisher16508 Posts: 269 Member
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    when one assumes, what happens??/ anyone know....

    I am feelin froggy so here goes...

    you make an *kitten* out of you and me....plain and simple. nuff said, good day!!!
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    I'm noticing over half of the responses here are from women...and being a woman myself, I know we are not all shallow. This was aimed more towards men, but I'm assuming since there's not too many posting, then the answer is probably yes.

    Oh if that isn't some of the most condescending b.s. I have ever read!
  • BeautifulRedButterfly
    BeautifulRedButterfly Posts: 316 Member
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    I'd totally cheat on my husband with someone who was "hotter."

    Oh, no, wait. I wouldn't.

    And I don't have to wait to be put in the situation--I know myself really well. I know my marriage really well. I have years of relationships and my own behavior as evidence to back it up. I don't cheat. I'm not that kind of person. (And by that kind of person, I mean a liar.) And I say that as someone who isn't totally convinced that total monogamy is the key to happiness.

    Though, serious answer: if I really, really wanted to sleep with someone else, I'd talk to my husband about it and see if it was something he would be okay with. If it was, then I'd maybe do it. If it wasn't, then I wouldn't. Our marriage is the most important thing in the world to me and sex with someone, no matter how hot or exciting, isn't worth hurting him.

    uh....huh? Im confused...
    You said "if I really, really wanted to sleep with someone else, I'd talk to my husband about it and see if it was something he would be okay with. If it was, then I'd maybe do it."
    And then you say, "ur marriage is the most important thing in the world to me and sex with someone, no matter how hot or exciting, isn't worth hurting him."

    that definitely makes NO sense AT ALL!! xD
  • mfisher16508
    mfisher16508 Posts: 269 Member
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    right????
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
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    If I continuously told her she needed to lose weight and she did nothing about it? Is she won't change to keep my interest? Yeah...I am going to find someone else. You only live once.

    If you really loved her you wouldn't want her to change anything....

    Not true, I love my boyfriend but if he every became over weight I would want him to lose weight fire health reasons. I wouldn't leave him, but I sure would want him to change that
  • tinlee
    tinlee Posts: 60 Member
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    My father left my mother and 5 kids for a woman that was pencil thin (my mother at the time wasn't really all that big...a little bigger than I am now) that's why I was curious.

    Sorry about what your dad did.
  • NessasMommy081311
    NessasMommy081311 Posts: 122 Member
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    Whoa guys! Haha don't get all defensive. Was just putting that out there. If you wouldn't, then great for you, your wife/girlfriend is lucky to have you.
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
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    :noway: Yeah no. I wouldn't cheat for any reason let alone for such a superficial one...I love my husband for who he is not what he looks like <---key the cheesy music here :laugh:
  • BlackmetalCoffee79
    BlackmetalCoffee79 Posts: 108 Member
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    This is gonna sound corny, but its really how i view the cheating thing: I have never cheated because i'm such a unique individual, that whoever is with me deserves my full love, attention, and commitment for them being so understanding and committed to me. If someone can put up with my quirks, weirdness, and individuality...then why should i jeopardize that with someone who may be looking for a quick fling or doesn't really even know the real me?
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    If I continuously told her she needed to lose weight and she did nothing about it? Is she won't change to keep my interest? Yeah...I am going to find someone else. You only live once.

    If you really loved her you wouldn't want her to change anything....

    Wanting someone to change something appearance related, especially something like weight that could also affect health, does not mean that you don't love them. But if you are so concerned with appearance that you can't be interested in someone because they packed on a few pounds, then the marriage probably wasn't going to last anyway. Looks are a poor reason to commit to someone beause there are so many things beyond our control that can change them.
  • LifeOnMars_
    LifeOnMars_ Posts: 755 Member
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    If I continuously told her she needed to lose weight and she did nothing about it? Is she won't change to keep my interest? Yeah...I am going to find someone else. You only live once.

    If you really loved her you wouldn't want her to change anything....

    Not true, I love my boyfriend but if he every became over weight I would want him to lose weight fire health reasons. I wouldn't leave him, but I sure would want him to change that

    Agree! Especially if he wasn't that way when I started dating him. I wouldn't leave him for gaining weight but I would expect him to do something about it.

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