Modest Women?

I'm curious - why are pants not modest?? Last I checked, they cover everything... unless I'm doing it wrong... which is entirely possible.

Oh no's..me too!!!

My best friend's motto is "Modest is hottest!"

This post made me think of that... but I also try to dress modestly, but sometimes clothes in my size seem to accentuate my seemingly only good quality... sad.

I also dress this way for religious reasons. I feel like the body is the temple of God and is not for everyone to be looking at.

Very interesting.

I find it particularly interesting that so many people feel women who dress modestly must be uncomfortable in their body.

EVEN IF I WAS FIT AND TONED - I probably wouldn't wear pants, short skirts, tank tops, or extremely tight clothing.

I want to look attractive but not attracting. I'm done being a sex object for anyone but my husband. ( And i was... oohhh how I was... ) I still dress differently for my husband than I do while I am out by myself - fitted clothes, shorter skirts, etc etc. Honestly, he'd prefer i dressed like a prostitute, right up until someone else oggled me and THAT made me uncomfortable.

So many people feel that way because it is so often true. I was VERY modest at a higher weight, because I didn't want to be noticed or ridiculed. I've lost some weight and an ex-husband, and now, I am not so modest, some days. There are days when I wake up and feel like a cow, and I am not wearing anything sexy that day. And I don't to work. I mean, I don't run around in tube tops and denim underwear........ but I will wear stuff that modest people think is too tight, or dresses that are too short. And when I get where I want to be, you will be hard pressed to get me dressed at all. If I feel like I am doing it for me. It makes ME feel sexy. I dont care one way or the other if someone else looks and *wishes*, because the man next to me is the lucky b@stard who gets the whole package. He told me one time that when we were in the restaraunt and some guy looked at me, then looked at him and sheepishly turned away, it made him feel really good.

I used to dress quite modestly when I was training to go into a field that is male-dominated, and was the sole girl in a class of 50. My reasoning was that I wanted them to think of me as ME and not a sex object. It didn't always work, but it probably helped.

I still dress quite conservatively for work; my tops are occasionally tight, but if they are, they have high necks. I don't consider pants to be immodest, an I'm happy to wear them... Then again, I live in Vancouver, where the "Lululemon Cameltoe" is high fashion, so my perception of "revealing" pants is probably skewed!

Outside of work, however, I am comfortable wearing more revealing clothing, especially now that I'm getting happy with how my body looks. The happier I am with it, the more revealing clothes I seem to like!

I don't generally have a problem with others dressing how they want, unless they're wearing, say, a headband for a top and a string for a bottom and trying to pass it off as formal wear or something. :P

Ditto (except for living in Vancouver)! I wear work boots with steel or composite tips, and a hard hat and I understand through the guy grapevine that I am still considered a babe.

I wouldn't call myself a modest dresser, but I had to add in on this one.
I actually find myself wearing higher cut shirts now that I'm more comfortable about my waist. All these lovely hour glass curves are coming out, and my pants are fitting better with much much less muffin top action. So I don't feel the need to distract the world with my amazing tatas of doom by wearing low cut shirts. I'm very comfortable wearing a t-shirt that is fitted enough to show off shape, but never skin tight.
I don't make a habit of dressing specifically to be visually stimulating to men (other than what I wear around the house for husband after kids are in bed...lols). However, I don't ever feel guilty if I do get a double glance. I don't understand that train of thought, that it is my duty to be as uninteresting as possible to keep a man from committing adultery in his mind.

I never considered myself a super-modest dresser, and then at my extremely Christian friend's hen party (we were supposed to get her panties), everyone else got her see-through panties and thongs and stuff and I got her, well, I guess they're granny panties. To much laughter.

I don't dress revealingly, but due to my body shape (hourglass) I need to wear things that cinch a bit at the waist. I have a few shirts that might be a bit low cut (or is that my bad posture?).

However, with short skirts: I don't think there's anything daring or overly sexual about a mini skirt. I don't own any skirts that go past my knees. I do wear leggings or stockings with skirts though.

So, to the people who say they dress modestly for religious reasons, would you consider Eve a wh*re? In all seriousness, because I'm actually quite curious. I mean, in all depictions of her she is wearing leaves and her breasts are usually covered by nothing but her hair. What was the point of your "higher power" giving us such amazing bodies if they weren't meant to be shown?

I don't take modesty to the extreme that you do. I generally go by the rule of thumb: "If I wouldn't want my SO's head to turn at some other woman because she was wearing something like this, I probably shouldn't be wearing it in public either." My reasons for modesty do have more to do with biblical convictions rather than insecurity, or mere prudishness, or any other reason. Men are easily turned on by what they see, and I wouldn't want to be responsible for causing someone to lust after me instead of their wife because, according to God's Word, for a man to even have a lustful thought about any woman other than his wife is considered adultery. Look at the story of David and Bathsheba. Their affair started with a single lustful thought in David's mind. That's just my belief/opinion on the matter. You asked, so I answered. I don't expect anyone else to agree with me or even understand my point of view. This isn't meant to stir the pot in any way.

As a Christian woman, I have this same mindset. Most women, being wired differently, often don't understand the way the male mind thinks. I have heard and read many pleas from Christian men to their Christian sisters concerning dress. They would rather not look at or think about other women's curves other than their wives, but their eyes are naturally drawn to feminine curves. It's bad enough having to battle against temptation in our sex-saturated society, but they shouldn't have to battle against temptation from their sisters as well! We should be on their side helping them! I respect these guys greatly, and I don't want to do anything to cause them to stumble!
For all the other guys out there who want to ogle and get whatever peek they can, I'd rather not give them that satisfaction. As I've said before on a thread, the only guy who deserves the pleasure of looking at my unclothed body is the guy who fathered my children, rubs my back at night, and gets up early to fix breakfast so I can sleep in. I dress more revealing when it's just him and me. But before we go out in public, I ask him to check my dress.

I'll bet those of us who label ourselves as modest probably have a wide variation of guidelines we go by. I like stylish, flattering clothes, but I try to dress slightly more conservatively than the women around me. But a big part of it is mindset. If I want to call attention to myself in a sexual way, I can do that no matter what I am wearing. If I don't want that kind of attention, that will show as well.

I'm sorry but that is so darn pathetic. Not you, but what you said. Because women are dressing a certain way, it's going to make men stray? And they just can't help it? If me showing off some cleavage here and there is going to make a man "stumble" then I say, "Tell these 'men' to grow a pair of balls and learn self control."

First of all, I would appreciate a little manners, please. "I totally disagree with what you said" is respectful. "That's so darn pathetic" is rude and disrespectful. Does sharing a differing opinion from yours really warrant rudeness and disrespect?

With that said, no where in my post did I state that the way I dress is "going to make men stray and they can't help it." Nor did I mean to imply it.
The men that I am speaking of realize that they are responsible for their own thoughts and behaviors. I've heard one say that being confronted with an image of a woman's sexuality (whether in person or in the media) is like being on the computer and having to click the 'X' on the popup window before they have a chance to see it or think about it, if that makes any sense. Even when you install a pop-up blocker, some get through. What I meant to imply is, knowing how hard this battle can be for some of them, I don't want to intentionally place something out there that they are going to have to try to avoid or try not to think about. I have many guy friends, and I like visiting with them. I want them to feel comfortable around me, especially the guys I train with. I don't want to be one of those pesky "popups" that they have to quickly close down.

Sure you can say "Tell these 'men' to grow a pair of balls and learn self control."
But I could just as easily say "Many of them are already trying. What's wrong with us meeting them halfway and trying a little ourselves?"

Also, if you intend to call attention to your body parts that you know arouse men's imaginations, you need to be aware that you are advertising yourself as an object to be used for pleasure (at least mentally) by whomever sees you. The checker at the grocery store, the creepy maintenance guy, your friend's grandfather...
Try to not be surprised or offended when you are treated that way.

That's MY opinion. I am not bothered by others sharing their opinions. I have plenty of good friends who have widely different opinions from mine...so I know it can be done respectfully.

What was the point of your "higher power" giving us such amazing bodies if they weren't meant to be shown?

I don't dress the way I do for religious reasons, necessarily, but I can answer on behalf of why some people do. The problem is not with the body; the problem is with the wicked hearts of people filled with lust and selfishness. We are to modesty cover the body so as to minimize inappropriate “looking.” We unclothe the body when we are confident that the one looking at us is doing so out of love, not lust.
I realize you are asking your question seriously (or at least I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt), and it sounds like you haven't really read the book of Genesis and you're just going off pics you've seen of Eve. There is a story behind all that.

I don't take modesty to the extreme that you do. I generally go by the rule of thumb: "If I wouldn't want my SO's head to turn at some other woman because she was wearing something like this, I probably shouldn't be wearing it in public either." My reasons for modesty do have more to do with biblical convictions rather than insecurity, or mere prudishness, or any other reason. Men are easily turned on by what they see, and I wouldn't want to be responsible for causing someone to lust after me instead of their wife because, according to God's Word, for a man to even have a lustful thought about any woman other than his wife is considered adultery. Look at the story of David and Bathsheba. Their affair started with a single lustful thought in David's mind. That's just my belief/opinion on the matter. You asked, so I answered. I don't expect anyone else to agree with me or even understand my point of view. This isn't meant to stir the pot in any way.

As a Christian woman, I have this same mindset. Most women, being wired differently, often don't understand the way the male mind thinks. I have heard and read many pleas from Christian men to their Christian sisters concerning dress. They would rather not look at or think about other women's curves other than their wives, but their eyes are naturally drawn to feminine curves. It's bad enough having to battle against temptation in our sex-saturated society, but they shouldn't have to battle against temptation from their sisters as well! We should be on their side helping them! I respect these guys greatly, and I don't want to do anything to cause them to stumble!
For all the other guys out there who want to ogle and get whatever peek they can, I'd rather not give them that satisfaction. As I've said before on a thread, the only guy who deserves the pleasure of looking at my unclothed body is the guy who fathered my children, rubs my back at night, and gets up early to fix breakfast so I can sleep in. I dress more revealing when it's just him and me. But before we go out in public, I ask him to check my dress.

I'll bet those of us who label ourselves as modest probably have a wide variation of guidelines we go by. I like stylish, flattering clothes, but I try to dress slightly more conservatively than the women around me. But a big part of it is mindset. If I want to call attention to myself in a sexual way, I can do that no matter what I am wearing. If I don't want that kind of attention, that will show as well.

I'm sorry but that is so darn pathetic. Not you, but what you said. Because women are dressing a certain way, it's going to make men stray? And they just can't help it? If me showing off some cleavage here and there is going to make a man "stumble" then I say, "Tell these 'men' to grow a pair of balls and learn self control."

First of all, I would appreciate a little manners, please. "I totally disagree with what you said" is respectful. "That's so darn pathetic" is rude and disrespectful. Does sharing a differing opinion from yours really warrant rudeness and disrespect?

With that said, no where in my post did I state that the way I dress is "going to make men stray and they can't help it." Nor did I mean to imply it.
The men that I am speaking of realize that they are responsible for their own thoughts and behaviors. I've heard one say that being confronted with an image of a woman's sexuality (whether in person or in the media) is like being on the computer and having to click the 'X' on the popup window before they have a chance to see it or think about it, if that makes any sense. Even when you install a pop-up blocker, some get through. What I meant to imply is, knowing how hard this battle can be for some of them, I don't want to intentionally place something out there that they are going to have to try to avoid or try not to think about. I have many guy friends, and I like visiting with them. I want them to feel comfortable around me, especially the guys I train with. I don't want to be one of those pesky "popups" that they have to quickly close down.

Sure you can say "Tell these 'men' to grow a pair of balls and learn self control."
But I could just as easily say "Many of them are already trying. What's wrong with us meeting them halfway and trying a little ourselves?"

Also, if you intend to call attention to your body parts that you know arouse men's imaginations, you need to be aware that you are advertising yourself as an object to be used for pleasure (at least mentally) by whomever sees you. The checker at the grocery store, the creepy maintenance guy, your friend's grandfather...
Try to not be surprised or offended when you are treated that way.

That's MY opinion. I am not bothered by others sharing their opinions. I have plenty of good friends who have widely different opinions from mine...so I know it can be done respectfully.

No matter how anyone dresses they should be able to walk around without having to worry that some married man is going to get a boner because he has no self control. I can wear whatever I want and I have the right to do so without being harassed on the way in which I dress.

And another thing, "Many of them are already trying." Trying to do what? Not bang every chick that walks by because they lack self control? THAT is what I was referring to as being pathetic. The fact that you're implying that people dress a certain way because men can't control themselves and they are helping the man, is just sad.

Also, don't get me wrong, everyone can dress how ever they chose to, but if you're dressing a certain way because you want to make sure men don't go straying from their wives because you're showing some cleavage, as opposed to dressing the way you WANT because that makes YOU happy, then we are being set way back in the woman's movement.

So, to the people who say they dress modestly for religious reasons, would you consider Eve a wh*re? In all seriousness, because I'm actually quite curious. I mean, in all depictions of her she is wearing leaves and her breasts are usually covered by nothing but her hair. What was the point of your "higher power" giving us such amazing bodies if they weren't meant to be shown?

Oh please. Do you really think those pictures are what Eve actually looked like? And Genesis mentions that God made coats of skins to clothe Adam and Eve after they sinned. So yes, God did make us to originally be nude but he also made clothes to wear.

I'm 22 and semi modest, i don't wear skirts, shorts, tank tops, bathing suits, halter tops, short dresses, tube tops or belly shirts in public. I pretty much live in jeans and tee shirts. If i'm feeling risky i'll wear a low cut top.

I don't dress up for 2 reasons. 1. I'm married so I don't want the attention. 2.I always have and always will hate my body.

I'm not modest but I am appropriate.

The pot-shot at the Duggars was rather uncalled-for, btw.... in case you're interested, Jana is aiming for a career in music or as a doula/midwife and Jill is planning to become a nurse.

I love the Duggars.

I'm really just posting because Canada !