Why don't I get hit on?

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  • pinstripepirate
    pinstripepirate Posts: 605 Member
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    Is it possible that you're getting hit on and you just don't realize it? Everyone tells me I'm extremely naive because I believe that when men are talking to me, they are just being nice and/or friendly. Men have to be rather obvious (ie, catcalls) in order for me to recognize their motives.

    My brothers and boyfriend keep saying that, "if they're talking to you, they're hitting on you," although I don't entirely believe that. But it may be true. So, do strange men talk to you in public? Then you're probably getting hit on without realizing it.
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    You are quite, quite lovely with a great sense of humour (as I've seen on the boards here.) I would think it is one of two things:

    1) They are and you don't recognize it.

    2) You are subconsciously giving off "don't look/touch" vibes from the lack of self-confidence.

    Edited to add: looks like others have written the same thing :flowerforyou:
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,388 Member
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    Yep, I'm betting you don't notice or 'they' don't get caught. ;)
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    If you want a guys attention, just do that yoga move you're doing in your profile pics, and you'll have guys hitting on you left and right. ;)
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    Guys look...they ALWAYS look. Sometimes you can catch them in the mirror when they don't expect you to see their reflection in the gym. They're just sneaky about it. And definitely intimidated. They probably figure since you're so pretty, in such great shape, and so awesome that you already have a boyfriend. :)
  • Meg177
    Meg177 Posts: 215 Member
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    Men look for the easy prey. You may intimidate them in some way. And by the way... they look... you just don't see them doing it.

    Sweetie you are gorgeous.

    ^^This
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    Is it possible that you're getting hit on and you just don't realize it? Everyone tells me I'm extremely naive because I believe that when men are talking to me, they are just being nice and/or friendly. Men have to be rather obvious (ie, catcalls) in order for me to recognize their motives.

    My brothers and boyfriend keep saying that, "if they're talking to you, they're hitting on you," although I don't entirely believe that. But it may be true. So, do strange men talk to you in public? Then you're probably getting hit on without realizing it.
    No, they really don't.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    This is probably going to sound really conceited, but I get hit on pretty frequently. I don't think I'm a supermodel or anything, but I think it's because I carry myself with a lot of confidence, usually have a smile on my face, and I think men (and people in general) are drawn to that. Women often strike up conversations with me as well.

    I had this friend who was SUPER cute, great figure, really good looking all around, but she almost NEVER got approached by men. Why? It was 100% her attitude. I kinda observed her once when I saw her at the store but she hadn't seen me yet, and I realized that she was just totally unapproachable even though she was very attractive. Her resting face said to me "I'm a b!tch, don't even try talking to me" and she just didn't carry herself in a way that made her open to a stranger talking to her.

    Now, I'm NOT saying that's the situation with you, because obviously I don't know you in real life, but I think the way we carry ourselves and present ourselves in public is like 95% responsible for who approaches us and how often it happens. Strangely enough, once I stopped hanging out with that particular friend (turns out, she actually was a b!tch), I noticed SO much more attention from people in general. A man hitting on me, a woman complimenting my outfit, just like night and day, because I think her attitude rubbed off on me when we were friends.
  • mruntidy
    mruntidy Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Gotta admit as a guy i wouldnt approach a girl either, dont forget we rate ourselves n it takes a lot of confidence for i dunno a five to approach a nine if that makes sense
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    If you want a guys attention, just do that yoga move you're doing in your profile pics, and you'll have guys hitting on you left and right. ;)
    Hahaha!

    Too bad that's hard to do in the crowded free weights area of my gym... or at the grocery store - it makes it kind of hard to push the cart...
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    I think you are gorgeous. :flowerforyou:
  • albinogorilla
    albinogorilla Posts: 1,056 Member
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    you are tall, us short fellas are way intimidated by girls taller than us..........all other factors aside.
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
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    I'd hit it Cory!... just wanted to throw that out there. :wink:
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Are you open? Do you smile when you enter a room? Look straight ahead and at guys' eyes?

    Supposedly, I'm cute here on MFP.. but in real life I didn't get hit on as much as I do here on MFP.

    BUT I've changed some things about myself and have noticed a difference. Here on MFP I'm open and confident. It shows through my posts.

    In real life, I'm definately confident now but was having trouble showing it. Now that I'm really secure with myself and my self esteem has went up, I didn't know how to go from being in the background to making myself a show stopper instead. :bigsmile: I'm not the hottest girl at all but when I go out, I smile as soon as I enter the room at everybody. I look up when I'm walking. I stick my *kitten* out and walk with a sway in my hips. I play with my hair. I size attractive guys up and down and smile at them. I look into their eyes when I talk to them and smile. (smiling seems to be a good thing with guys)

    All these little things have made a great impact and now I will have guys come up to me to talk.. not just notice me from afar.

    Some guys might be intimidated but I think the looking approachable thing can change some of that.

    This might be a fake it till you make it thing, according to you since you said you have low self esteem. Just know you're beautiful, BELIEVE IT!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    you are tall, us short fellas are way intimidated by girls taller than us..........all other factors aside.
    Funny thing - my ex is 4 1/2" shorter than me... not all short men are intimidated by tall women.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    I'd hit it Cory!... just wanted to throw that out there. :wink:
    Between you and _snw_, I've almost had to rethink my whole "I'm totally straight" thing...
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
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    If it's any consolation, I get hit on by smelly, toothless sweaty truckers. I never been hit on outside of work... and I think that's because I'm the only female here. LOL
  • albinogorilla
    albinogorilla Posts: 1,056 Member
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    you are tall, us short fellas are way intimidated by girls taller than us..........all other factors aside.
    Funny thing - my ex is 4 1/2" shorter than me... not all short men are intimidated by tall women.

    not all, but most.........just for the approachability factor......... cold call wise..........an out of the blue approach with a guy who is shorter approaching a girl who is taller..........that is unusual.....and this is from a shorter fella.
  • Larry0445
    Larry0445 Posts: 232
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    If i were 40 yrs,younger,I would surely hit on you... ;-)
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
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    Do you have a smile on your face in real life and do you make eye contact? I am hardly the prettiest girl in the room but even now that I am married and older, men flirt with me a lot. They even do it in front of my husband. And like I said, I'm certainly not the prettiest girl in the room. But I have had them tell me it is because I am always friendly and smiling. When I was younger and in my twenties and wanted to meet someone I would usually just try to make eye contact and a lot of times they would come over and introduce themselves. You'd be surprised at how the smallest gestures are what cause men to take a second look.

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