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Favorite CLEAN jokes?
Replies
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Do you know why a divorce is expensive???
Because it's worth it!0 -
Do you know why a divorce is expensive???
Because it's worth it!
:drinker: I hear that!0 -
*bumping to read later becasue My Co-Workers think I've gone insane from giggling*0
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this is not so clean but it cracked me the hell up!
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A family of tomatoes was walking down the street.. the baby tomato was constantly lagging behind at store windows. Daddy tomato was so mad he went back to baby tomato and squished him. and said..
That'll make you Ketchup (Catch up)
I laughed when the girl told that in Pulp Fiction0 -
LOL! Some of these are awesome! Others are even better!
Ok, I have a real childish one, but it makes me laugh every time.
A tribal chief goes in to see the doctor. He says, 'doctor, big chief no fart." The doctor prescribes him a pill and has him come back the next week.
The chief returns, "doctor, big chief still no fart." So the doctor gives him a bigger pill and has him come back the next week.
The chief continues to return saying "big chief still no fart." The doctor continues to give him larger and larger pills each week.
One week the chief's wife comes in to see the doctor. She says "doctor, big fart no chief!"0 -
A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer...
The bartender throws the string out saying; "We don't serve strings here!"
The string thinks for a minute, ties itself in a knot and teases it's ends and walks back into the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says: "Hey, aren't you that string I just threw out of here?"
String replies: " Nope, I'm a frayed knot!"0 -
Some of these are so funny :laugh:0
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LOL! Some of these are awesome! Others are even better!
Ok, I have a real childish one, but it makes me laugh every time.
A tribal chief goes in to see the doctor. He says, 'doctor, big chief no fart." The doctor prescribes him a pill and has him come back the next week.
The chief returns, "doctor, big chief still no fart." So the doctor gives him a bigger pill and has him come back the next week.
The chief continues to return saying "big chief still no fart." The doctor continues to give him larger and larger pills each week.
One week the chief's wife comes in to see the doctor. She says "doctor, big fart no chief!"
That just killed me, I can't breathe hahahahah :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
*scratches head* I don't get it.0 -
The chief farted so hard he got blown away! Fart jokes, so juvenile, but they get me laughing every time.0 -
The chief farted so hard he got blown away! Fart jokes, so juvenile, but they get me laughing every time.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! Got it! haha.0 -
An oldie but a goodie...
Two ROBINS were lying on their backs, BASKING in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were walking by. The kitten complained, 'Mama, I'm sooo hungry, what can we eat?' To which the mama cat, spying the two robins, replied,
"How about some Baskin Robbins?"0 -
My grandfather was a very wise man, I remember his last words to me...
"Oh my goodness, a bus"
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandmother not screaming and yelling like the other people in the car with her.0 -
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut.0 -
These made my work day so wonderful! Thank you!
Here's my tidbit:
What does the daddy buffalo say to the child buffalo when he leaves?
Bison!
BAAHAHAHAHA0 -
What do you call a lady with one leg?
Lena.
What do you call her when she gets a wooden leg?
Peggy.0 -
My grandfather was a very wise man, I remember his last words to me...
"Oh my goodness, a bus"
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandmother not screaming and yelling like the other people in the car with her.
BAHAHAAAAAAA I think I have heard this before, but it definitely brought out a big laugh!!!! Thanks!0 -
I haven't had a chance to scan of these yet so I hope this isn't a repeat,.
These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar. The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders. The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?"
The string says "Yeah."
The bartender says, "aren't you a string?"
The string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot..."0 -
Columbia South Carolina Headline News....
Tornado rips through local cemetary. Thousands dead!0 -
what happens when a tick eats to fast.....
it gets the tickups!0 -
I haven't had a chance to scan of these yet so I hope this isn't a repeat,.
These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar. The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders. The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?"
The string says "Yeah."
The bartender says, "aren't you a string?"
The string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot..."
Crap.. it was up here twice already.0 -
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its
cruising altitude, the Captain announced:
'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.
Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to
Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth,
uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and... OH, MY GOD!'
Silence followed!
Some moments later the Captain came back on the PA;
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to
you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my
lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
One Newfie passenger yelled,
'lord tunderen jezis, you should see the back of mine!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That was the best one yet!0 -
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Chuck Norris slams revolving doors.0
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What do you call a lady with one leg?
Lena.
What do you call her when she gets a wooden leg?
Peggy.
What do you call her when someone saws off the tip of her wooden leg?
Eileen0 -
bump0
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bump! jokes always make my day.0
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What are the dirtiest animals on the farm?
"Brown Chicken Brown Cow"
sounds like Bow chicca bow wow... lol - yeah it sounds better in person!
I still don't get it! :ohwell:0 -
lol nerd jokesThree DBAs walk into a NoSQL bar.
They left because they couldn't find a table.
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