girls ... do you mind if your men go to strip clubs?

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  • KharismaticKayteh
    KharismaticKayteh Posts: 322 Member
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    if he doesn't care that I go somewhere and have guys grabbing and grinding on me all night long, then sure he can go to the strip club.
    Yes. Yesyesyes. I like you.
  • annabelsmommy
    annabelsmommy Posts: 24 Member
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    Statutory ~ it's not an assumption, you don't know me or what I've experienced in my life and my opinion is pretty accurate based on my personal experiences.
  • StatutoryGrape
    StatutoryGrape Posts: 365
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    And I know plenty of girls who are or were strippers and are well-adjusted human beings--not dirty, slutty, cheap, or whatever else you might accuse them of being.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    Statutory ~ it's not an assumption, you don't know me or what I've experienced in my life and my opinion is pretty accurate based on my personal experiences.

    And every person is different and their experience doesn't make it concrete for everyone else. If that were true we wouldn't have 50 varieties of one kind of medicine, we'd have only one because it works the same for everyone.

    I'm not negating your experience, but just because you know someone like that or have gone through something doesn't mean you can say the same thing about every person and situation of that kind worldwide.
  • KharismaticKayteh
    KharismaticKayteh Posts: 322 Member
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    I'm honestly really disappointed in most of the replies here. Don't get me wrong -- your relationship is yours and you run it however works, I'm not going to say that anyone's significant other indulging in such a thing is wrong, but it is wrong for me. Lots of people are saying, "Well, the boys gotta have boy time!" Do they have to go to a strip club for that? My man's boy time is playing Battlefield or Mass Effect on XBox Live. Hell, as masculine as I act, any time I'm hanging out with him and my best friends (all guys), that might even be considered boy time.

    Anyway, point being that, no, I don't want my boyfriend to have his appetite whetted by other girls, whether they be strippers or women of any other profession. I'm not going to tell him he can't go to strip clubs, or that he can't have a stripper at his bachelor party -- but I will tell him that he'll deal with a very unhappy lady if those events do take place. I also think it's unfair for anyone to suggest that ladies who are against this kind of behavior for their guys must be jealous or insecure in their relationship. My boyfriend hits on everyone. No, seriously, everyone. He hits on my aunts, he hits on my sister, and he hits on my boss -- the list goes on. And I joke with him about it. When we're going shopping or hanging out at the mall, if he sees a cute girl, he tells me, "Ohmigosh, that girl is really cute!" My response is typically, "Oh, wow, SHE IS!!!" There is nothing at all wrong with finding other people attractive -- just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that he and you are suddenly the only attractive people who exist, and to pretend otherwise is just juvenile. But finding someone attractive and being sexually aroused by someone are two very different things.

    When I get home today, I'm unpackaging all the cute new lingerie I got in the mail and I'm going to model them. He's not going to need anyone else to dress skimpy for him, and so I have no shame in saying, no, I do not want my boyfriend indulging in some strippers. I should be all he needs, and fortunately, I am~~~!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,688 Member
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    im a bus driver and occasionally i have strippers either on the bus or in occasions such as bach parties i end up at strip clubs with clients and my fiance is fine with it, we know what our boundaries are and i dont test them strictly looking and no further.


    now on the other hand ive been doing this for almost a decade and ive also driven busses for bachelorette parties and women behave far worse in these places then men do hands down.
    When women go to strip clubs, the egg each other on to join in the fun. When men go to strip clubs, we're pretty quiet and don't want to sit near other dudes.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Sul3i
    Sul3i Posts: 553 Member
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    Yes I would mind and he knows and respects it. But I'm fortunate in the fact that he isn't really into porn or strip clubs. He's into me :-) I mind because it makes me feel if he needs to look at other women he must be missing out on something with me... that's just me tho
  • liftingheavy
    liftingheavy Posts: 551 Member
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    Wow, I'm suprised it would not bother more women/men here. My boyfriend can choose go to strip clubs - or he can choose to continue to be my boyfriend, but not both.
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Went once with my man. UGGGGGGG. Not interested to go again.
  • KharismaticKayteh
    KharismaticKayteh Posts: 322 Member
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    Wow, I'm suprised it would not bother more women/men here. My boyfriend can choose go to strip clubs - or he can choose to continue to be my boyfriend, but not both.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,688 Member
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    Okay, I know many women here are against their men looking at porn, going to strip clubs etc, and are SURE that their man is TOTALLY happy with them, but don't be shocked if you find out that they have a "secret" porn collection or have been to strip clubs without your knowledge. As men, there is usually a "secret" oath that we keep amongst each other when it comes to that stuff. We'll NEVER rat out our friend to their girlfriends or wives if asked. I have lots of friends, who are great guys and many of them religious, who have gone to clubs and have said "let's keep this between the guys".

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • liftingheavy
    liftingheavy Posts: 551 Member
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    Okay, I know many women here are against their men looking at porn, going to strip clubs etc, and are SURE that their man is TOTALLY happy with them, but don't be shocked if you find out that they have a "secret" porn collection or have been to strip clubs without your knowledge. As men, there is usually a "secret" oath that we keep amongst each other when it comes to that stuff. We'll NEVER rat out our friend to their girlfriends or wives if asked. I have lots of friends, who are great guys and many of them religious, who have gone to clubs and have said "let's keep this between the guys".

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    To be clear, I don't think for a minute that I am the only person he is attracted to on a day-to-day basis, I'm attracted to others too. But sending him off to a strip club on a Friday night, or condoning it in general seems crazy TO ME.
  • Abrowe313
    Abrowe313 Posts: 189 Member
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    Okay, I know many women here are against their men looking at porn, going to strip clubs etc, and are SURE that their man is TOTALLY happy with them, but don't be shocked if you find out that they have a "secret" porn collection or have been to strip clubs without your knowledge. As men, there is usually a "secret" oath that we keep amongst each other when it comes to that stuff. We'll NEVER rat out our friend to their girlfriends or wives if asked. I have lots of friends, who are great guys and many of them religious, who have gone to clubs and have said "let's keep this between the guys".

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition



    truth has been spoken here!
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    Okay, I know many women here are against their men looking at porn, going to strip clubs etc, and are SURE that their man is TOTALLY happy with them, but don't be shocked if you find out that they have a "secret" porn collection or have been to strip clubs without your knowledge.

    Mine knows I'd leave him in a split f****** second. And I'm married. Actually, his a** would get kicked out the front door. It's my house. I have NEVER cheated on any man I've ever been in a relationship with, and I consider this cheating. Our sex life is outstanding and I would NEVER look at porn without involving him, and neither of us is interested in mixing porn into our sex. We've discussed this at length... we're newlyweds. This is the kind of stuff I ASK about and get out in the open. I do not assume anything.

    He knows better than to lie to me. He will be booted out of my house for lying about something like this, and trust me... he knows and understands this.

    I pride myself on being open-minded in life... but this is one of those areas in which I am content to be a bit close-minded.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,688 Member
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    Okay, I know many women here are against their men looking at porn, going to strip clubs etc, and are SURE that their man is TOTALLY happy with them, but don't be shocked if you find out that they have a "secret" porn collection or have been to strip clubs without your knowledge. As men, there is usually a "secret" oath that we keep amongst each other when it comes to that stuff. We'll NEVER rat out our friend to their girlfriends or wives if asked. I have lots of friends, who are great guys and many of them religious, who have gone to clubs and have said "let's keep this between the guys".

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    To be clear, I don't think for a minute that I am the only person he is attracted to on a day-to-day basis, I'm attracted to others too. But sending him off to a strip club on a Friday night, or condoning it in general seems crazy TO ME.
    That's why there's the "secret oath". Lots of guys KNOW that there girl wouldn't approve so it's kept under wraps. In fact the most secretive ones are the ones whose girl will absolutely go ballistic if they found out. We don't like to throw each other under the bus like that.
    We love our women. If we didn't we wouldn't be with them. But we also like to just "look". It's a man thing, so trying to get a female to understand is usually vain in attempt. That's why we keep it between each other.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,688 Member
    Options
    Okay, I know many women here are against their men looking at porn, going to strip clubs etc, and are SURE that their man is TOTALLY happy with them, but don't be shocked if you find out that they have a "secret" porn collection or have been to strip clubs without your knowledge.

    Mine knows I'd leave him in a split f****** second. And I'm married. Actually, his a** would get kicked out the front door. It's my house. I have NEVER cheated on any man I've ever been in a relationship with, and I consider this cheating. Our sex life is outstanding and I would NEVER look at porn without involving him, and neither of us is interested in mixing porn into our sex. We've discussed this at length... we're newlyweds. This is the kind of stuff I ASK about and get out in the open. I do not assume anything.

    He knows better than to lie to me. He will be booted out of my house for lying about something like this, and trust me... he knows and understands this.

    I pride myself on being open-minded in life... but this is one of those areas in which I am content to be a bit close-minded.
    Lol, so maybe you scared him into submission! You and I agree on a lot, but I guess this is one we don't.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
    Options
    Okay, I know many women here are against their men looking at porn, going to strip clubs etc, and are SURE that their man is TOTALLY happy with them, but don't be shocked if you find out that they have a "secret" porn collection or have been to strip clubs without your knowledge.

    Mine knows I'd leave him in a split f****** second. And I'm married. Actually, his a** would get kicked out the front door. It's my house. I have NEVER cheated on any man I've ever been in a relationship with, and I consider this cheating. Our sex life is outstanding and I would NEVER look at porn without involving him, and neither of us is interested in mixing porn into our sex. We've discussed this at length... we're newlyweds. This is the kind of stuff I ASK about and get out in the open. I do not assume anything.

    He knows better than to lie to me. He will be booted out of my house for lying about something like this, and trust me... he knows and understands this.

    I pride myself on being open-minded in life... but this is one of those areas in which I am content to be a bit close-minded.
    Lol, so maybe you scared him into submission! You and I agree on a lot, but I guess this is one we don't.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Submission? He freaked when he saw I looked at porn BEFORE we tied the knot. HE freaked. He'd be a fool and hypocrite to lie to me. And he'd better run FAST because I'd come after him throwing all kinds of stuff, including punches... this is one area we will disagree on.
  • CassieReannan
    CassieReannan Posts: 1,479 Member
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    As long as I dont know, I'll be none the wiser.
  • CassieReannan
    CassieReannan Posts: 1,479 Member
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    Okay, I know many women here are against their men looking at porn, going to strip clubs etc, and are SURE that their man is TOTALLY happy with them, but don't be shocked if you find out that they have a "secret" porn collection or have been to strip clubs without your knowledge.

    Mine knows I'd leave him in a split f****** second. And I'm married. Actually, his a** would get kicked out the front door. It's my house. I have NEVER cheated on any man I've ever been in a relationship with, and I consider this cheating. Our sex life is outstanding and I would NEVER look at porn without involving him, and neither of us is interested in mixing porn into our sex. We've discussed this at length... we're newlyweds. This is the kind of stuff I ASK about and get out in the open. I do not assume anything.

    He knows better than to lie to me. He will be booted out of my house for lying about something like this, and trust me... he knows and understands this.

    I pride myself on being open-minded in life... but this is one of those areas in which I am content to be a bit close-minded.
    Lol, so maybe you scared him into submission! You and I agree on a lot, but I guess this is one we don't.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Submission? He freaked when he saw I looked at porn BEFORE we tied the knot. HE freaked. He'd be a fool and hypocrite to lie to me. And he'd better run FAST because I'd come after him throwing all kinds of stuff, including punches... this is one area we will disagree on.

    Its honestly just porn... Fiance looks at it. I look at it. Its perfectly healthy.
  • liftingheavy
    liftingheavy Posts: 551 Member
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    Okay, I know many women here are against their men looking at porn, going to strip clubs etc, and are SURE that their man is TOTALLY happy with them, but don't be shocked if you find out that they have a "secret" porn collection or have been to strip clubs without your knowledge. As men, there is usually a "secret" oath that we keep amongst each other when it comes to that stuff. We'll NEVER rat out our friend to their girlfriends or wives if asked. I have lots of friends, who are great guys and many of them religious, who have gone to clubs and have said "let's keep this between the guys".

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    To be clear, I don't think for a minute that I am the only person he is attracted to on a day-to-day basis, I'm attracted to others too. But sending him off to a strip club on a Friday night, or condoning it in general seems crazy TO ME.
    That's why there's the "secret oath". Lots of guys KNOW that there girl wouldn't approve so it's kept under wraps. In fact the most secretive ones are the ones whose girl will absolutely go ballistic if they found out. We don't like to throw each other under the bus like that.
    We love our women. If we didn't we wouldn't be with them. But we also like to just "look". It's a man thing, so trying to get a female to understand is usually vain in attempt. That's why we keep it between each other.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Now that I get. I like to look at a good looking man now and then... but I'm not going to tell him out of respect, and he had better not tell me he is going to watch women take their clothes off.

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