Why Cats Suck

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  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    I've never seen a cat fetch me a pheasant or duck. Or fight off an intruder to protect their owner. That is why cats suck.

    Clearly you've never had one curl up in your lap and purr. Have you?
  • Ruger2506
    Ruger2506 Posts: 309 Member
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    I've never seen a cat fetch me a pheasant or duck. Or fight off an intruder to protect their owner. That is why cats suck.

    Clearly you've never had one curl up in your lap and purr. Have you?

    More times than care to count. I never saw what all the hype was.
  • MikeSEA
    MikeSEA Posts: 1,074 Member
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    I don't think generalizations across species work very well. Generalizations in breeds are a little better, but still off sometimes.

    Some cat breeds are fiercely loyal to their people, and can get a little aggressive about it. In that way, people think they behave like dogs, but it's just how they are. The maine coon cats I've dealt with are so laid back and had great personalities.

    I really dislike a lot of the smaller breeds of dogs. I tend to dislike tiny yappy dogs. Whenever I see a jack russell I want to put it in a tiny glass box and watch it whirl around in circles until it somehow creates a quantum singularity. I tend to go for german shepherds, labs, etc. It has nothing to do with them being "useful" for anything. They're just more my speed.
  • Cheryl943
    Cheryl943 Posts: 83
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    Kittens are ok. But cats. Ugh. No me gusta.

    It's like they just sit there all day and say "screw you, I'm a cat, I do what I want." I'm SO much more a dog person :)

    cats rule and dogs DROOL
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
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    They poop in a box in the house.

    ...and then after digging around in said box with their paws, they proceed to walk all over the counter tops and sleep on babies faces. Poo paws gettin all up ins.
    They don't do any tricks or come when called. When someone breaks into the house, they don't attack the intruder or make a peep to alert anyone that a stranger is in the house.
    The only time I've let a stinky cat curl up in my lap, someone tried to break into the house and kick down the door. Know what the stupid cat did? It jumped on my face and clawed its way down my chest, scared.

    And they certainly don't make good jogging buddies. Unless you have a sparkly piece of string hanging out of your back pocket.

    Please look up "toxoplasmosis" if you're not convinced that they do indeed suck.
  • Cheryl943
    Cheryl943 Posts: 83
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    Kittens are ok. But cats. Ugh. No me gusta.

    It's like they just sit there all day and say "screw you, I'm a cat, I do what I want." I'm SO much more a dog person :)

    cats rule and dogs DROOL


    My cat drools when he is happy!
  • jpuderbaugh
    jpuderbaugh Posts: 318 Member
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    how about we discuss why you suck instead?

    I like this idea :drinker:
  • jpuderbaugh
    jpuderbaugh Posts: 318 Member
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    People, cats are different from dogs. You can't expect them to do the things dogs do. But you don't have to kill them because of it. I really hate people who hate cats. control freaks.
  • bluebird321
    bluebird321 Posts: 732 Member
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    We foster a different cat every month or so, some suck, but others are very sweet and affectionate. I'm a dog guy, but I have to admit the cats have grown on me.
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
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    My very, very favorite.

    Cat Haiku

    You never feed me.
    Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
    That will show you.

    You must scratch me there!
    Yes, above my tail! Behold,
    elevator butt.

    I need a new toy.
    Tail of black dog keeps good time.
    Pounce! good dog! good dog!

    The rule for today.
    Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
    New rule tomorrow.

    In deep sleep hear sound
    Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
    Will find in morning.

    Grace personified
    I leap into the window
    I meant to do that

    Blur of motion, then-
    Silence, me, a paper bag
    What is so funny?

    The mighty hunter
    Returns with gifts of plump birds
    Your foot just squashed one.

    You're always typing
    Well, let's see you ignore my
    Sitting on your hands.

    My small cardboard box
    You cannot see me if I
    Can just hide my head.

    Terrible battle
    I fought for hours. Come and see!
    What's a "term paper"?

    Kitty likes plastic
    Confuses for litter box
    Don't leave tarp around

    Small brave carnivores
    Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
    Fear vacuum cleaner

    Want to trim my claws
    Don't even think about it!
    My yelps will wake the dead

    I want to be close
    To you. Can I fit my head
    inside your armpit?

    Wanna go outside.
    Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
    Let me back inside!

    Oh no! Big One
    has been trapped by newspaper.
    Cat to the rescue!

    Humans are so strange.
    Mine lies still in the bed, then screams!
    My claws aren't that sharp....

    Cats meow out of angst
    "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
    We could break so much"

    Litter box not there
    You must have moved it again
    I'll crap in the sink

    The Big Ones snore now
    Every room is dark and cold
    time for "Cup Hockey"

    We're almost equals
    I purr to show I love you
    Want to smell my butt.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    They poop in a box in the house.

    ...and then after digging around in said box with their paws, they proceed to walk all over the counter tops and sleep on babies faces. Poo paws gettin all up ins.
    They don't do any tricks or come when called. When someone breaks into the house, they don't attack the intruder or make a peep to alert anyone that a stranger is in the house.
    The only time I've let a stinky cat curl up in my lap, someone tried to break into the house and kick down the door. Know what the stupid cat did? It jumped on my face and clawed its way down my chest, scared.

    And they certainly don't make good jogging buddies. Unless you have a sparkly piece of string hanging out of your back pocket.

    Please look up "toxoplasmosis" if you're not convinced that they do indeed suck.

    This was beautiful. Man, cats are so useless.
  • Ruger2506
    Ruger2506 Posts: 309 Member
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    This was beautiful. Man, cats are so useless.

    See, I am not the only rational person. Thank goodness my fiancé hates cats as much if not more than I do.
  • Thesoundofwolf
    Thesoundofwolf Posts: 378 Member
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    I love kittywitties. Cus they're the perfect pet. No pun intended. But literally. Think about it. They're cute n'cuddly in your lap when you want it, and then leave you alone most of the time.

    Like the perfect wife. -nods-
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    naughty-memes-more-adventures-of-troll-cats.jpg
  • Reeny1_8
    Reeny1_8 Posts: 277
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    cat.jpg

    Almost pissed myself when I saw that!
  • Ohjeezitskim
    Ohjeezitskim Posts: 129 Member
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    I love my cat! Everytime I would walk out of my bedroom door in the morning he would come running up the stairs to say hi to me! And when I'm out late at nights usually like 2am when I come home he's waiting by the door for me. He's such a lover.
  • Tani_LT
    Tani_LT Posts: 15 Member
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    Cats are awesome!
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    Mice...I just kill them, I don't eat them...this makes me a great exterminator without "dead mouse" breath.
  • reneegee23
    reneegee23 Posts: 233 Member
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    I think you forgot to put a "don't" in your topic title.

    Also, we have cats to thank for 99% of the internet. Exhibit A: cats-a-web-meme-with-more-than-nine-lives.jpeg?w=477
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    LUV the cute kitty pics...how cute am I, BTW?

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