He Called me Stupid..is it Emotional abuse?

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Replies

  • nekoxvampyx
    nekoxvampyx Posts: 163
    wow.. your not crazy, leave his *kitten*! you're too good for him !
  • deejayy89
    deejayy89 Posts: 144 Member
    Kick his behind to the curb! No woman ever has to put up with a man who is abusive! Do yourself a favor and be done with him!!
  • Laurej
    Laurej Posts: 227
    The next time he playfully slaps you, playfully kick him in the balls.
    Hahahaha this!!
  • o_delaisse
    o_delaisse Posts: 193 Member
    You know hon, the fact that you're asking people to confirm and back you up suggests your confidence has already been knocked more than it ought to have been :(

    From my point of view (from someone who doesn't know you and has only read your post!) it does not sound good. Worse, it sounds familiar - sounds like my ex. I stayed far too long and ignored the warning signs. Whole thing did a bit of damage to me, you know? Don't let that happen to you. Like most people on here, I say run. Relationships are supposed to make you happy and secure, make you feel like you can do or achieve anything you want. You should know you are loved, and feel no doubt.

    And all the best to you, you deserve it :)
  • buckystars
    buckystars Posts: 129 Member
    Just sounds like drama to me. Maybe that's why you're with this guy?

    Really? Just, really? That's your helpful advice? What are you going to offer next, that she must enjoy being hit and called stupid and that's why she's with him? Or that maybe she deserves it?

    Don't comment if you're going to be mean.
  • emrys1976
    emrys1976 Posts: 213 Member
    Maybe you are "stupid" for putting up with it

    I know you don't mean to be awful, but this is an awful thing to say to someone reaching out about being abused.
  • Tybalt71
    Tybalt71 Posts: 1,064 Member
    *raises eyebrow*
  • msradio
    msradio Posts: 165 Member
    Good for u leave his behind! No one needs a person in their life that makes them feel bad about themselves, It really sounds like he some problems he needs to work on not ur problem! It sounds like he's doing whatever he can to push u to leave maybe he's not man enough to say so, the old saying goes actions speak louder than words! I would be gone yesterday! Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical. God bless you deserve better!
  • Didi_heehee
    Didi_heehee Posts: 1
    You go girl!!! Do whats best for you!!
  • mmstgr
    mmstgr Posts: 578 Member
    Maybe you are "stupid" for putting up with it

    That's not very productive

    I agree


    I'm sorry.
    You should seek real help from a legitimate source.
    The people on this forum cannot hold your hand and walk you into a police station, or therapy session.
    Please find help.
    There is a reason abusive relationships exist...people just can't just walk away. If it were easy to walk away people would never be in the relationship to begin with. Sometimes people need words of encouragement or to have their thoughts validated. We are humans, not super heros. Cut her some slack and shut the H*LL UP!


    My apology is sincere.
    My mother still refuses to leave her abusive bf after over 20yrs.
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 614 Member
    Hey wait im Canadian, is it me?-Ty

    last thing I need right now it another man..lol

    Can I have him?
  • Jade17694
    Jade17694 Posts: 584 Member
    This has made my blood boil. This is abuse. You need to finish with him and never look back. You deserve so much better than that prick!
  • EndofEternity
    EndofEternity Posts: 108
    If you have to ask, you know it is.

    ^this

    Yup!

    Not necessarily. In some cases it can be simple misunderstanding and/or bad communication. Not this case, of course.
  • giselle9938
    giselle9938 Posts: 194 Member
    RUN! Run far, far away!

    this and run as fast as you can girl! Once a friend told me that a guy will treat you in the way YOU allowed him to do it... We won't have a Prince Charmin if you choose a frog!
  • cushygal
    cushygal Posts: 586 Member
    Please leave and be safe. What you are going thru is abuse, and it certainly could escalate, so get out while you can.

    I hope you enjoy Canada.
  • 77Maria
    77Maria Posts: 90
    Don't wait, and I say that because it sounds like as your trip approaches, the situation may get more volatile. Because he is well aware of your trip. Begin as soon as you possibly can.....Begin your new life!
  • buckystars
    buckystars Posts: 129 Member
    Maybe you are "stupid" for putting up with it

    I know you don't mean to be awful, but this is an awful thing to say to someone reaching out about being abused.

    I honestly think that they *were* trying to be awful. For every five nice, supportive people on MFP, there's at least one mean, nasty a*****e.
  • Margentine
    Margentine Posts: 113 Member
    Maybe you are "stupid" for putting up with it

    That's not very productive

    I agree


    I'm sorry.
    You should seek real help from a legitimate source.
    The people on this forum cannot hold your hand and walk you into a police station, or therapy session.
    Please find help.

    Apology accepted...you probably meant well. thanks for your advice.
  • Jade17694
    Jade17694 Posts: 584 Member
    yes he is emotionally abusing you. And physically which I will tell you right here and now.... WILL GET WORSE. Get out!

    This.
  • SirBen81
    SirBen81 Posts: 396 Member
    Depends on the person who it's being said to. If you're a saucy woman who is quick to retort with your own insult right back, then name calling can be humorous and a lot of fun. But if you're not that kind of girl then he should be able to pick up on that and stop being derogatory.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    The next time he playfully slaps you, playfully kick him in the balls.
    Hahahaha this!!

    okay no. dont do that. I know the poster meant it to be funny but I really really urge you to not do that
  • LauraDubbleya
    LauraDubbleya Posts: 79 Member
    Three pages of people confirming what you already know is a pretty good indicator that you had good instincts in the first place. I wouldn't wait to leave him, I'd go NOW.

    If he gets wind that he's been called abusive he may very well become more violent. There's nothing playful about his actions, he's manipulating and controlling you (or attempting to)

    Sounds to me like you have a good head on your shoulders. We all find one of those guys who seem like Prince Charming at first but after awhile, reveal their Troll-like personality. Don't beat yourself up over it anymore than he's beaten you up for it.

    He's a ****wad. Please let us know how you fare.
  • Init_to_winit
    Init_to_winit Posts: 258 Member
    I know it's hard to leave someone like that. Sounds to me that you already have your way out by moving to Canada. Once you're not around the constant abuse and douchebaggery just take a minute to realize how much happier and better off you are without him. Don't let him back in either, break off all ties, and then smile! You'll be happy it's over, maybe not right away but eventually. And one day you'll find a man who doesn't make you have to question these things!
  • Paige_me
    Paige_me Posts: 59 Member
    Sounds to me like you are being emotionally and physically abused.

    Respect yourself, GTFO. What a loser you've found.

    *and don't ever stay with or let anyone treat you like that again!

    Seriously. I read this and I was thinking that I usually call my fiance stupid or an *kitten* but I do it in such a playful way it's never serious. I was thinking you were wondering if he was sarcastic like me.
    After reading this I can tell you whole heatedly that you need to be done with him, he has broken you to the point that you're questioning the horrid actions of the person you're dating. I hope you left him.
    When I was younger a guy I dated smacked me, that was the last time I saw him. A few years later he was at a bar that my brother and his friends were at... Needless to say it did not end well for the ex.

    I'll tell you this much, if anyone ever put their hands on me physically, man or woman, you better believe there would be charges or an accidental dog attack.
  • sllm1
    sllm1 Posts: 2,130 Member
    Run far, far away, darling. As fast as you can.
  • jaxbeck
    jaxbeck Posts: 537 Member
    The next time he playfully slaps you, playfully kick him in the balls.

    OMGThis!!!
  • TNTwedell
    TNTwedell Posts: 277 Member
    When are you leaving?

    Mid May I will be going to Canada for a few motnhs . We have discussed it and supposed to have a long distance relationship
    But honestly we clash because I don't like how Am being treated ..I used to think it was me exagerrating a little. O being to dramatic , I then tried to fix my thoughs and behaviour but he is just a liilte too much for my happy go lucky self.

    MidMay is still a long ways away to be dealing with this stuff on a daily basis - is there some reason you're not leaving NOW?
  • britishstar41
    britishstar41 Posts: 140 Member
    The next time he playfully slaps you, playfully kick him in the balls.

    HAHA!

    No, seriously, he's not treating you the way you should be treated. You deserve so much better. Get out, get out! I watched my aunt go through this kind of stuff (and it got progressively worse) for 20 years.
  • FitnessDynasty
    FitnessDynasty Posts: 62
    The physical abuse, yes, you are being abused. There is no reason for that, even in a "playful" manner (the slapping of the face, that is). I'll pinch or smack my wife's butt and sometimes I hit a little too hard and apologize immediately. After four and a half years of marriage it is in all fun because that is returned in kind from her. NEVER have I smacked her in the face or anything REMOTELY to that nature, though she has slapped me several times throughout the years. Overall, yes, you are physically being abused.

    I'll play devil's advocate here for a moment and say maybe in arguments where he said "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard" is not abuse. In honesty I've said that to my wife and she has said it back to me during political, work, religious, etc. conversations because sometimes they are honestly the stupidest thing I had ever heard. Enough on the devil's advocate there. As for the rest such as the belly, the "talking down" in front of others, etc. yes, mental abuse.

    From what you have said, yes, you are being abused both mentally and physically. Time to tell him to take a hike and get out. There are better and yummier fish in the Sea of Relationships.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    He tends to smack me for no reason, he says he is playing . Whenever I say something that he doesn't like , he "playfully" grabs me and " Playfully" slaps me on the face...although it's not hard ..it does hurt at times and I'm getting tired of him doing that . It's just so immature. the silly slaps on my face and my *** randomly uuggg..so tired.
    I don't know if you're really young or just raised this way or what, but you need to understand something: no one has the right to do this to you against your will even if he is playing. "Playing" is not even a consideration. If you tell him not to do it, it needs to stop, immediately and forever.
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