Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

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  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

    Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

    WOW!

    Yep...that about covers it lol.
  • Doreen_Murray
    Doreen_Murray Posts: 396 Member
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    Now I have to give birth AND pay for dinner?!?! Damn hippies! :wink:
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    Yep...that about covers it lol.

    I'm sure there's more to come. Others opinions are ignorant if not their own. Keep watching and enjoy!
  • Rhea30
    Rhea30 Posts: 625 Member
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    Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

    Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

    WOW!

    My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something. :)
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 932 Member
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    Of course the man should pay. if he cant afford/doesnt want to pay, then why is he asking me out in the first place? i dont want to date a woman, i want to date a MAN.


    The difference between men and women is in our chromosomes, not in some out-dated theory on who should pay (dating back to when most women didn't have money because they didn't work). Maybe he's asking you out because he thinks you're interesting or kind or open-minded or very attractive. Shame that all he's going to get is a cheap, self-centered and sexist young lady whose idea of a meaningful relationship is entertainment at someone else's expense. My comment may seem harsh to you, but if you were a man, my guess is you wouldn't hold that same opinion.

    blah blah blah.
    I am totally self-sufficient. I bought my own home at 21 years old as a single mother, and have supported myself completely to date (age 25). I work my butt off every day, and I don’t expect anything handed to me. I agree not all people have the same ideas as I do on dating, but I don’t believe it makes me shallow for wanting a man to play the traditional male role. I have no respect for a man who allows a woman to pay for him all the time and if a man asks me out, he is expected to pay. If he were to suggest I pay, I of course would, but I would never see him again.
    I also don’t believe in living together before marriage; feel free to attack that theory too. At the end of the day I’m doing just fine. :wink:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    To those that say whoever asks should pay which I agree with... how many of you on here have asked a guy out for a "first date"?



    ....<crickets chirping>......

    didnt see that

    I HAVE I HAVE!!!

    We took turns buying rounds! It was hella fun! Especially cause we got the same amount of buzzed! I didnt mind drinking like I normally do cause I was paying for half of it- took all the pressure off to act like a perfect lady and we could just guffaw and have a great time. He was a good kisser too. He got to second base that night.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

    Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

    WOW!

    My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something. :)

    if you read who I responded to she clearly stated that she acted like a man.
  • Rhea30
    Rhea30 Posts: 625 Member
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    Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

    Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

    WOW!

    My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something. :)

    if you read who I responded to she clearly stated that she acted like a man.

    I did and your view to me is still very ignorant.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

    Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

    WOW!

    My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something. :)

    Which is why I immediately pointed to yours...as ignorant. Any woman who feels that a guy not 'letting' her pay for their date is trying to control her...is, well...to use your excellent turn of phrase again...

    Ignorant.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    It doesn't matter who is ignorant, I would've kept it to myself, that's all. No need to start any MORE drama that seems to be lingering on these message boards today. For example, look at the sexy pics = desperate people thread.

    :grumble:
  • Bikerjewelz
    Bikerjewelz Posts: 67 Member
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    Lol. My bf is a recovering addict, and reading this thread I am reminded of an na mantra... "Principles before personalities"
  • Susabelle64
    Susabelle64 Posts: 207 Member
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    Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

    Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

    WOW!

    Yep...that about covers it lol.

    LOL, I guess I would be in for a shock too! The reality is, do what feels right to you! If you feel he should have paid, then you are right. If you believe that you should have split it, then you are right too. This is more about personal values and finding someone who shares the same values as you. If you were raised to believe that the man should show gentlemanly behavior by offering to pay, you should be with a man that believes the same. It all works out. It is obvious that things are changing and perhaps more and more people will be splitting the bills on first dates regardless of who does the asking.

    Dates are to get to know each other, they dont have to be expensive and if you are using someone for a free meal, shame on you. My personal expectations would be if I was asked out to eat, the guy picked the restaurant, he would pay. If I picked the restaurant I would choose something reasonable to me, I would also be prepared to chip in. But honestly, if a guy asked me to a restaurant he couldnt or didnt want to afford, I would seriously doubt his sincerity.
  • budhandy
    budhandy Posts: 305 Member
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    Im old fashioned and when i used to date, yes I always paid.
  • Rhea30
    Rhea30 Posts: 625 Member
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    Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

    Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

    WOW!



    My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something. :)

    Which is why I immediately pointed to yours...as ignorant. Any woman who feels that a guy not 'letting' her pay for their date is trying to control her...is, well...to use your excellent turn of phrase again...

    Ignorant.

    Then its ignorant to you but I still think it raises a red flag if a man is that bent on never letting a woman pay. What reason is behind it? Why can't a woman help pay? Is it just out of politeness or is it a mark against his own ego? Basically what is so bad with a woman wanting to pay or help pay the bill?
  • rumpusparable
    rumpusparable Posts: 160
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    Coming in late and avoiding the drama:

    I feel that whoever asked for the date should pay.

    And yes, many females ask males on dates, especially if it's past the first one.

    In fact, my husband and I still continue this pattern after 15yrs together... if I ask him out that night, I pay. If he asks me, he pays.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

    Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

    WOW!

    My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something. :)

    if you read who I responded to she clearly stated that she acted like a man.

    I said that in regards to dating. I really hope you don't think I literally went around acting like a dude. That's ridiculous. I approached dating the way men do, by asking somebody out if I was interested in seeing them. I guess I kinda think it's a waste of time to sit and drop hints in hopes a guy will ask you out...just my opinion.
  • msrat1
    msrat1 Posts: 43
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    Coming in late and avoiding the drama:

    I feel that whoever asked for the date should pay.

    And yes, many females ask males on dates, especially if it's past the first one.

    In fact, my husband and I still continue this pattern after 15yrs together... if I ask him out that night, I pay. If he asks me, he pays.

    I agree...whom ever initiated the date should pay unless the other person stongly insist on paying...
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Options
    Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

    Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

    WOW!



    My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something. :)

    Which is why I immediately pointed to yours...as ignorant. Any woman who feels that a guy not 'letting' her pay for their date is trying to control her...is, well...to use your excellent turn of phrase again...

    Ignorant.

    Then its ignorant to you but I still think it raises a red flag if a man is that bent on never letting a woman pay. What reason is behind it? Why can't a woman help pay? Is it just out of politeness or is it a mark against his own ego? Basically what is so bad with a woman wanting to pay or help pay the bill?

    But honestly, what is so bad about either of those reasons? Whether it be out of politeness, or even whether it's a mark against his ego? And here's a shocking concept...maybe it's about appreciation?

    Either way it's not a matter of control.
  • missallenxox
    missallenxox Posts: 175 Member
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    of course a man should pay the first, second, third, etc date lol. the only acceptable time to pay for him is when you are a legit couple and you want to show him a treat cause he does deserve it really.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

    Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

    WOW!



    My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something. :)

    Which is why I immediately pointed to yours...as ignorant. Any woman who feels that a guy not 'letting' her pay for their date is trying to control her...is, well...to use your excellent turn of phrase again...

    Ignorant.

    Then its ignorant to you but I still think it raises a red flag if a man is that bent on never letting a woman pay. What reason is behind it? Why can't a woman help pay? Is it just out of politeness or is it a mark against his own ego? Basically what is so bad with a woman wanting to pay or help pay the bill?

    You need to read the entire thing again. It wasn't never pay for a date...just not on the first 3 or so.

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