Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

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Replies

  • leeshamecham
    leeshamecham Posts: 3
    Hi Lauren!

    I'm 22 and on my 3rd year of marriage. I don't have any children yet but I believe with all my heart you are doing the right thing, and I know I don't know you but I am proud of you!. I don't believe in abortion either, and I believe you are being very courageous. I also think with some time you're family will come around. If they love you as much as they say they do they will eventually come around.
    Lauren I also believe that God never gives us more than we can handle. I truly believe that he will provide for you and your baby. I know it's scarey right now but you're not alone, and kudos to your boyfriend for staying by your side. Lauren I will be praying for you and for your family :smile: I truly believe that everything will work out hun. Chin up your a strong young woman! :)
  • HealthyHappy120
    HealthyHappy120 Posts: 262
    I think 23 is perfectly fine!!! And good on you for being against abortion :D I wish you so much good luck and don't sweat it :) most of my old friends had their babies at 18....true story! Please just enjoy the process dear
  • skohl83
    skohl83 Posts: 23
    I was 22 and single when I had my twins....they have been the biggest blessing in my life, and I don't think I would be as successful and motivated today if it wasn't for them.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    My mom had 3 kids by the age of 22 (I am a twin) and she went to college when she could while I was growing up plus working too. It looks like I will have my future kids in my 30's because I met my husband when I was 23, married at 24, and is now financially ready by 29 (I will be 30 in January).
  • Crazy4Healthy
    Crazy4Healthy Posts: 626 Member
    I was 16 with my first, 19 with my second and 30 with my last. I have one grandchild and another on the way. I'm currently 44.

    I really think how you handle this comes down to the type of person you are. Some people allow others to tell them they can't do something while others will go out of their way to prove them wrong. You sound like the latter and you will do just fine. Just stay on the path you are on and don't let anyone tell you that you can't make this work. Being young certainly has it's advantages and I can speak from both sides since I did it young and older. :) Honestly, both have their positives and negatives, you just do what you can and try to be the best you can be. That is all you can do.

    Having a child this young also has a tendency to motivate a person to excel and do better in their own lives so they can provide more for their children. In my opinion.

    Best of luck to you..... you can do this. :)

    Ooops, I'm 42, not sure how I managed to get my own age wrong. Apparently been a long day. LOL
  • jules0516
    jules0516 Posts: 158
    Stay strong..I was married at 20, first child at 22-second one at 27...been married 14 years..everyone is different and everyone loves to voice their opinions. You can do it-yes you need money to raise a child-but mostly you need LOVE..Try not to stress or worry about what others think..Enjoy! (My kids are now 12 and 6..)

    BTW- I don't think anyone is ever "financially" ready for kids-if that were true, either you are mega rich or no one would ever have kids. IMO only.
  • katismiles
    katismiles Posts: 96 Member
    My friend just had her baby and she's only 18. Her parents are helping her raise the child. On the bright side, you are no longer in high school. Don't let other bring you down.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    You sound like an amazing and strong woman. My mom had me when she was only 19 and she did an incredible job raising me. Honestly, I love having a young mom because she's cool and all my friends love her! :laugh: She has been a better and more responsible mother to me than I can say for a lot of my friends' moms who had their kids at older ages. I think it depends a lot more on maturity than actual age. Stay strong and responsible and you'll be just fine! Good luck and congratulations :smile:
  • rjo921
    rjo921 Posts: 130
    Only you know what is best for you.....not your family...not your friends....you. I commend you for standing up to them. And it does not appear that you are going into this blindly...you realize what is ahead of you and how difficult it can be. However, being a parent is difficult no matter what your age is.

    Right now you need to take care of yourself and your baby. Do everything you can to enjoy this experience....hearing the heartbeat for the first time....feeling it kick....start connecting yourself with your child. That is what's most important....not what others think.

    Be well. Take care. :flowerforyou:
  • Dannysmommy2006
    Dannysmommy2006 Posts: 5
    I was 19 when I gave birth and turned 20 a month later. I had only been with my son's father for a few months but we moved in together and made it work. I was working at the time, though my boyfriend was not but he got a job and we would put a little bit of money aside. My family was a bit disappointed in me, but they came around once they saw the sonogram pictures. My son is now 5, almost 6 and is absolutely amazing. There were tons of sacrifices that I made but I look at my son and I know it was worth it. I managed to get my Bachelor's Degree in Criminal Justice, even though my sons father and I split soon before our son's first birthday. He now lives in a different city so in essence, I am doing it alone and have been for almost 5 years. Its tough, I wont lie. But when your child smiles or even just looks at you, it is worth it. There were some things that I had to go through as a person, and I know if I didnt have my son, I wouldnt have made it through. Just enjoy being pregnant, sleep while you can, and if your family decides to come around and talk to you GREAT! If not, don't worry. You are creating a family of your own. Don't worry or stress even though I know its hard. Just think in a few months you will be holding a baby, YOUR CHILD, in your arms and the world will change and suddenly the only thing that matters is that baby :)
  • determined136
    determined136 Posts: 330
    You can do it!!! I was 19 when I had my son. He is now 19 and in college. I have 4 kids and not one regret! You set your mind to doing something and you can do it. My kids have been the best thing in the world that I have ever accomplished. It isn't easy but it is SO worth it!
  • momtokgo
    momtokgo Posts: 446 Member
    23 is not that young! My first child was born when I was 17 and my husband was 20. We have been married almost 9 years, and we have 3 beautiful children, 9, 4, and 2 years old. Good luck, and congratulations!!
  • mmstgr
    mmstgr Posts: 578 Member
    If you have consciously made the decision that you will be a good parent, and love your child already, you will be just fine :)

    I had my first at 21 and second at 24 and they were planned.

    People will judge you. But they don't know what it's like to be you.

    Don't give up on your school. Finish it so that you can get your career going.

    If you want to do well, you will find a way :)
  • chasing135
    chasing135 Posts: 7
    My mom had me when she was 16. No, it wasn't the best time, but all you need is to surround yourself around supportive people and you will get through it. By the sounds of it, you will be a great mom. I wish you all the best and good luck with your pregnancy!
  • bobie1978
    bobie1978 Posts: 204 Member
    I was 23 when I had my daughter! I only have her and was considering having another but feel too old (34) now. lol. Who cares what people think, there are plenty of girls having babies when they are way younger than 23.
  • hoophippie
    hoophippie Posts: 3 Member
    How precious that you are giving your child the gift of life! You already sound like a good mom. Good luck!
  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
    I have had many friends who have gotten pregnant at early ages and are amazing moms. I was married at 23 and pregnant at 25 with my first then my second at 26. I was married but in the process of a divorce with babies 17 months apart (now 3 and 22 mo). You can do ANYTHING you put your mind too. It has nothing to do with age as it does to your determination. You will do just fine. I also believe abortion isn't an option, so I believe you are doing the right thing. Your family will come around... I was married and my dad wasn't happy either time, but he loves his grandbabies now. Stay strong momma!!!!
  • jenniet04
    jenniet04 Posts: 1,054 Member
    I haven't read all the replies, but I had my first at 24, while I was in college. Was it tough, yes! Would I do it different now, NO! He was the best thing that happened to me and it's not impossible to have a good life because you have kids when you are young yourself. I now am the bread winner in our family and my hubby is going back to school and we have 4 kids. Don't give up on your dreams, you can do what you set your mind to.
  • TanyaCurtis
    TanyaCurtis Posts: 630
    I was 23 when I had my first! Definetly not to young!! :) and kudos to u for keeping it, u'll never regret it, it'll be the biggest, most important thing that will ever happen to u! My son has taught me a lot, I wouldn't change the world for him! He's my little Angel <3
  • FaugHorn
    FaugHorn Posts: 1,060 Member
    I was 23 when I had my daughter! I only have her and was considering having another but feel too old (34) now. lol. Who cares what people think, there are plenty of girls having babies when they are way younger than 23.

    34 is not too old!
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    I was 20 when I was pregnant with my son, 21 when he was born, I don't think that was too young at all.
  • graysmom2005
    graysmom2005 Posts: 1,882 Member
    ??? You're not 12! I was married at 23 and had our first at 25. Did we PLAN on having our kids that young...no....but you no what? I happens and we are young enough to keep up with two VERY active little boys. :-) Plus I'll be 46 when they're in college. LOL! Enjoy your pregnancy and screw the people who are rude. They will all be cooing after your baby when he/she is born...trust me. ;-)
  • JulieH3art
    JulieH3art Posts: 293 Member
    I was 23 when I had my first! Definetly not to young!! :) and kudos to u for keeping it, u'll never regret it, it'll be the biggest, most important thing that will ever happen to u! My son has taught me a lot, I wouldn't change the world for him! He's my little Angel <3

    My Mum had me at 37 and she is NOT an old Mum to me, and I am VERY happy to be born! Trust me, 32 is so not too old. You still have great eggs :) ( I just did a gynecology rotation so trust me!! )
  • cindyb6045
    cindyb6045 Posts: 16 Member
    My daughter had her 1st baby at 20y and 2nd at 22y. She is now in a great relationship and buying her own house. She also is a Medical Assistant. I think you will do fine. It is alot of work but I know she wouldn't change a thing.
    I hope your parents come around. It may just take some time.
    Best of luck to you.
    You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.
  • Laurej
    Laurej Posts: 227
    I had my son at 21.. let me tell you some on the benefits...

    you are youthful enough to do anything with your child when they are young I would take my son skiing, snowboarding, cycling hiking, backpacking carry him around in the baby backpack taking him to all the awesome museums in SF ( most 40 something moms get tired easily)

    you'll still be youthful enough to do most of the things they do when they are a teen My son and I cycle, run and kayak together still

    You'll still be young enough to have a sense of humor about some of the crappy things they will put you through

    their friends will adore you because you're "the cool mom"

    they won't wear you out as bad when they are in their teens

    and when they leave the house,you'll still be youthful enough to have a very fulfilling life

    Hang in there, You'll do great! :flowerforyou:
  • nanny2mommie
    nanny2mommie Posts: 29
    i have a one year old son that i love very much.. after trying for 13 months we finally got prego with him.. his family was sooo excited mine on the other hand was very upset and my mom was the worst one she did nt talk to me for a few months and even at my baby shower she did not care to be around me.. it hurt but isaid oh well her lose not mine cause this is my life and my child he was was planned and all.. me and my hubby to be had been together fo 3 years and planned him.. i was 21 when we found out we where prego.. so its just crazy how ppl will act with ur exciting news... good luck with the baby and keepn ur head up its ur life and its ur child just enjoyall the exciting new things that are to come in ur life...
  • missykm7
    missykm7 Posts: 42
    I had my daughter when I was 16. Yes, I was too young. But I finished high school pregnant and then with a baby, worked full time, and started evening college classes after I graduated. She is now an amazing 20 year old away at school majoring in social work. I wouldn't change a thing. You can do this..and congratulations. :)
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    On the plus side, it's easier to go to school with a baby than it is to go to work with a baby. That's what welfare is for (seriously, don't be ashamed to use whatever help is out there). On the down side, medial coding training rarely leads to medical coding jobs, so good luck.
  • Runningirl7284
    Runningirl7284 Posts: 274 Member
    I was 19 when I got pregnant with my boyfriend who was 18 years old and we were both unemployed at the time (he was in school and I was supposed to go to the Navy). I felt too young at the time but when the baby came she was my reason for living. Now we are happily married for 8 years with a 7 year old girl and 6 year old boy! Your family will come around. My parents are extremely religious and very upset when they found out but they came around. Once the baby is here everyone will love him/her. :) You will be a great mom!!
  • changeofideas
    changeofideas Posts: 14
    my husband and i got pregnant when i was 22 only 6 months after our wedding, a lot of people were kind of judgmental but these are the same people who judged me for getting married in the first place. my only real problem was/and is, that i look like i'm about 17 so i feel judged like people think i'm a teen mom, and really i am married, we are on our own, and we are so glad to have had a child. it's so embarrassing sometimes. don't worry, people will judge no matter what. they always find something to pick on. you sound like you will be a great mom, even if it was a surprise, sometimes that's the best way!
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