My first MFP rant..

4rgl · May 2012

So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
1. Did I ask for your opinion?
2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

CeeRawr89 · May 2012

mmm cheesecake... I'd eat cheese cake for breakfast...

mrs_deg1983 · May 2012

So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
1. Did I ask for your opinion?
2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

I though we were here to help people get healthy not skinny. So I agree. But ignore the bomb butts and enjoy the new stuff you learn.

Rayman79 · May 2012

First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome

PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

Thanks.

Lozze · May 2012

WOW! You've managed to get some gems! I've never had anything like that and I'm sorry you've experienced this.

Nataliaho · May 2012

So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
1. Did I ask for your opinion?
2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

This is why I don't share my food diary. I have no interest in hearing the unsolicited opinions of random people about my nutrition. If I am unsure about something I will consult an expert and do my own research. If I have a specific question to ask, I'd post it very warily...

tg0926 · May 2012

This is exactly why my diary is private. I don't need people judging me when I didn't ask for it. What you want to eat is your prerogative and you will pay the price or reap the benefits of what you eat. It doesn't affect someone else. People who message you things like this are jealous and unhappy with their own lives and are looking for someone to take it out on. Don't take it personally! For the most part, I see very positive support on this site, it's just sad that a few people have to ruin it like that. Don't get discouraged

shortstuff31117 · May 2012

Some people are just weird. I rarely ever look at my friends diaries.
Feel free to friend me, I'll never say stupid things like that

tansygreen · May 2012

Well this might not be helpful to you in your issue with rude 'frends' but... I would LOVE it if you could share the cheesecake recipe with me, sounds amazing!!

I guess they are just having a bad day. I don't have many MFP friends, because if I did I wouldn't be able to keep up with it all, but I have to say I have never experienced any weird comments like that from people. Maybe just have a clear out and keep the supportive ones. Good luck!

PS - don't forget - I'm serious about that recipe!

mamamudbug · May 2012

I'm with Rayman, you should share the cheesecake recipe

As far as the other stuff, be picky about what you open on the forum and who you add as friends. There is some good stuff on here but like anything else sometimes you have to dig to find the gems.

tialeanne · May 2012

*kitten*, you never know where they'll turn up.

Time to unfriend some peeps.

imthelobster · May 2012

I agree with everyone who's said to share the cheesecake recipe, it sounds wonderful!

I'd say definitely just be more picky about who you're adding! My friends are all really supportive.

slkehl · May 2012

Delete them and don't worry about it too much! It's all about eating things in moderation, but many are quick to judge after seeing one day. If you're just looking for encouragement and advice only when you ask for it, add me

You could always start a thread on the introduce yourself section asking for friends who aren't going to criticize your choices (you'll probably get a lot of flack for that on the thread tho haha)

ILoveJesus72 · May 2012

You had me @ cheesecake and breakfast.

Ready2Rock206 · May 2012

Dang that cheesecake sounds way better than the red vines I had for breakfast! I feel lucky I haven't had any comments like that yet - seriously W*T*H is wrong with people?

Kristy_Elizabeth · May 2012

I would have deleted them too! and I want your recipe too.....=D

Funsoaps · May 2012

MMM your cheesecake sounds just like the kind I buy from Earth foods, soaked cashews, agave nectar blueberries, etc OMg it's so good and healthy.

BeetleChe13 · May 2012

Wow. I've never had anyone give me unsolicited advice, much less in a demeaning way. I would have deleted those friends in a jiffy too. I will admit to having given someone advice once, but it was out of genuine concern that she was not eating enough, and I would not have blamed her for deleting me if I had offended her. (And she didn't delete me because I was polite about it.)

Anyway, welcome to MFP. I hope you can find friends who share your same goals, and the forums are only getting worse. (I promise they weren't this way a year and a half ago. :frown: )

77tes · May 2012

My friend list is short, mostly because I'm too lazy to comment on a large number of people daily. There is a fine line between support and nosiness -- I have probably crossed the line a few times. But the junk you describe is way over the line!

I recommend this site to everyone who I think could use it: the tiny lady at work who just discovered she has hypertension, the beautiful college kid who wants to stop living off junk food, the young mother with digestive issues, even my slim husband who is trying to track when his arthritis kicks up. That is pretty much everyone! So, you are certainly welcome here even though we are jealous that you weigh 125.

BTW -- you need to post that cheesecake recipe! :bigsmile:

4rgl · May 2012

First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome

PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

Thanks.

I don't even have a lot of friends on here yet. I guess I just got all the bad ones :noway:

Here is the recipe:
Crust:
1/2 cup pecans
1/4 cup almonds
1/4 cup shredded coconut unsweetened
1 tablespoon cacao or carob powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 dates
1 tablespoon agave

Put everything except for agave in a food processor and blend until everything is mixed well.
Add agave, blend until it turns into a sticky paste.
Press the paste onto the bottom of a springform pan.

Filling:
2 cups blueberries. If frozen make sure it's at room tem.
1 cup cashews, ground
7 tablespoon melted coconut oil
1/4 cup agave
1 tablespoon lemon juice

Blend everything. Pour onto the crust. Chill or freeze until the filling is hard.

Just added you, replacing the bad eggs with the awesome ones :flowerforyou:

Maurice1966 · May 2012

Loooove Cheesecake

Plent of supportive people on here who won't judge because you're doing this a little differently. They don;t know the whole story so please don;t let those experiences hinder you from achieving your goals however you want.

My first MFP rant..

Replies

Categories