My first MFP rant..

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  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

    I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

    What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
    First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
    Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
    Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

    Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
    This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
    One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
    1. Did I ask for your opinion?
    2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
    3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

    This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

    Maybe this would be more effective directed at the "friends" who are behaving badly? My diary has always been closed, even to friends, because I don't accept unsolicited advice so there is no need to make it open. None of my friends has ever given me any advice I didn't ask specifically for, but I've been unusually careful who I've friended.

    I guess I have as much issue, more actually, with generalized "rants" that complain about the behavior of a small group of people, instead of dealing with those people directly. You aren't asking for advice or support so I won't offer any. I'll just comment that I don't see the point of your "rant."
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

    Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

    Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome :wink:

    PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

    Thanks.

    There's a whole cheesecake group?
  • tuffytuffy1
    tuffytuffy1 Posts: 920 Member
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    Geez, I would have deleted them right away too, who needs that!?!?! Wow.
  • v_snowdrop
    v_snowdrop Posts: 59
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    I'm wary of adding friends for this reason. I think some people (hopefully they are a small minority, but I don't know) want to add you just to creep your diary and judge you. Anyone who does that really has too much time on their hands. It's very odd behavior, when you think about it.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    mmm cheesecake... I'd eat cheese cake for breakfast...

    Me too. Real cheesecake. It's so delicious I can only make it once a year.
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    I applaud you for being on MFP! I certainly plan to be when I'm at 125 :happy:
    This is your gig so cut and prune your friends list til it's comfortable, manageable and helpful!
  • JeanineGiorgi
    JeanineGiorgi Posts: 14
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    I agree with everyone here. Ditch the critics. They obviously have issues!! MFP is all about empowerment to yourself not for someone else to control you. Life is all about enjoying not going without but simply using commonsense & making sure when you have a treat you make it work into your lifestyle with alternate healthy choices around it & a little bit more exercise. Your cheesecake recipe looks awesome & on top of that so quick to put together. Hope you dont mind if I share it with a friend of mine!!

    Cheers
    Jeanien Giorgi (:
  • raiderrodney
    raiderrodney Posts: 617 Member
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    There are a lot of good peeps on here but as with any forum there are some asshats too. Don't let it discourage you from adding new friends...you can always kick the crappy ones ;)
  • JaySpice
    JaySpice Posts: 326 Member
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    Wow! People are hella rude....also...would you mind sharing that cheesecake recipe? It sounds de-damn-licious.
  • cutethang1
    cutethang1 Posts: 239 Member
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    Good person to good person, glad you deleted them...they dont matter! PS- Cheesecake= happy= long term goals since you dont deprive yourself. I added you if you would like to connect!
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    I don't even have a lot of friends on here yet. I guess I just got all the bad ones :noway:

    Here is the recipe:
    Crust:
    1/2 cup pecans
    1/4 cup almonds
    1/4 cup shredded coconut unsweetened
    1 tablespoon cacao or carob powder
    1 tsp vanilla extract
    2 dates
    1 tablespoon agave

    Put everything except for agave in a food processor and blend until everything is mixed well.
    Add agave, blend until it turns into a sticky paste.
    Press the paste onto the bottom of a springform pan.

    Filling:
    2 cups blueberries. If frozen make sure it's at room tem.
    1 cup cashews, ground
    7 tablespoon melted coconut oil
    1/4 cup agave
    1 tablespoon lemon juice

    Blend everything. Pour onto the crust. Chill or freeze until the filling is hard.

    Just added you, replacing the bad eggs with the awesome ones :flowerforyou:

    Is there a way to bookmark this receipe? I absolutely love to try it when I get home later

    I believe you just did.
  • izzydino
    izzydino Posts: 254 Member
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    First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

    Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

    Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome :wink:

    PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

    Thanks.

    I don't even have a lot of friends on here yet. I guess I just got all the bad ones :noway:

    Here is the recipe:
    Crust:
    1/2 cup pecans
    1/4 cup almonds
    1/4 cup shredded coconut unsweetened
    1 tablespoon cacao or carob powder
    1 tsp vanilla extract
    2 dates
    1 tablespoon agave

    Put everything except for agave in a food processor and blend until everything is mixed well.
    Add agave, blend until it turns into a sticky paste.
    Press the paste onto the bottom of a springform pan.

    Filling:
    2 cups blueberries. If frozen make sure it's at room tem.
    1 cup cashews, ground
    7 tablespoon melted coconut oil
    1/4 cup agave
    1 tablespoon lemon juice

    Blend everything. Pour onto the crust. Chill or freeze until the filling is hard.

    Just added you, replacing the bad eggs with the awesome ones :flowerforyou:



    Get rid of the idiots! It's a lifestyle change nit a diet! As long as the calories fit who cares! And your recipe looks good:) Grest:) awesome:)
  • juliekat1955
    juliekat1955 Posts: 68
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    To the original post, not everyone on here is judgemental. You eat whatever your heart desires, it's your business and your life! You have done the best thing you could do in this situation, you deleted the people that you needed to. Keep going, you will no doubt find many more positive friends on here than negative.
    Good luck
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    Options
    I'm wary of adding friends for this reason. I think some people (hopefully they are a small minority, but I don't know) want to add you just to creep your diary and judge you. Anyone who does that really has too much time on their hands. It's very odd behavior, when you think about it.
    It's odd even if you don't think about it. Why would anyone care what someone else eats? What possible reason is there to look unless someone asks for advice? Even then, unless they ask about a diary entry specifically I seldom look. It's odd and it's creepy...
  • sdrichardson713
    sdrichardson713 Posts: 16 Member
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    Um I'm going to add you, and I'd like that cheesecake recipe too please :love:
  • skinimin
    skinimin Posts: 252 Member
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    So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

    I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

    What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
    First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
    Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
    Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

    Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
    This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
    One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
    1. Did I ask for your opinion?
    2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
    3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

    This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

    That sucks that happened to you. There are a lot of people with attitude on MFP, there are a lot of nice people too though! Kind of like life.
  • izzydino
    izzydino Posts: 254 Member
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    First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

    Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

    Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome :wink:

    PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

    Thanks.

    I don't even have a lot of friends on here yet. I guess I just got all the bad ones :noway:

    Here is the recipe:
    Crust:
    1/2 cup pecans
    1/4 cup almonds
    1/4 cup shredded coconut unsweetened
    1 tablespoon cacao or carob powder
    1 tsp vanilla extract
    2 dates
    1 tablespoon agave

    Put everything except for agave in a food processor and blend until everything is mixed well.
    Add agave, blend until it turns into a sticky paste.
    Press the paste onto the bottom of a springform pan.

    Filling:
    2 cups blueberries. If frozen make sure it's at room tem.
    1 cup cashews, ground
    7 tablespoon melted coconut oil
    1/4 cup agave
    1 tablespoon lemon juice

    Blend everything. Pour onto the crust. Chill or freeze until the filling is hard.

    Just added you, replacing the bad eggs with the awesome ones :flowerforyou:



    Get rid of the idiots! It's a lifestyle change nit a diet! As long as the calories fit who cares! And your recipe looks good:) Grest:) awesome:)
  • amagus
    amagus Posts: 71 Member
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    Glad you are not giving up on MFP all together. It is a fitness site which has nothing to do with weight. I plan to be a memebr no matter what I weigh. I don't share my diary either because it is enough that I use it as a tool to monitor what I eat and make adjustments where needed. I do not need others second guessing me.

    Thanks for the recipe.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    You don't need 'friends' who aren't here to support you! Cheesecake, traditionally, would probably not be a healthy choice, even though yours was. BUT, how are we going to maintain our weight if we don't eat some of our favorite foods? This is a lifestyle where you make room in you diary for 'foods we shouldn't have' so we aren't on a DIET and feel deprived. Anyone who cuts certain foods out entirely will gain their weight back as soon as they are off their 'diet'!
    We all have parties, picnics and holidays to deal with diet-wise. How do you just NOT eat anything? You eat in moderation!
    You're doing fine. Ignore and/or delete those so-called friends, even you haven't already. There are plenty of others on here who will.
    <hugs>
  • Cwilliams8676
    Cwilliams8676 Posts: 300 Member
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    First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

    Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

    Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome :wink:

    PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

    Thanks.

    agreed 100 percent

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