Highest weight how you felt

now 215

not tired! lol.

I feel good mentally and physically. It was a long process but little changes made big differences. I can't even believe how much better I feel. It's just feeling better in general and a sense of accomplishment. Like you set a goal and you achieve it. The satisfaction in that is rewarding...
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I cant wait till I get there but until then I will count my small marks. Looks like your very close to your goal, yay you!!!!

At 5', 5" my highest weight was 220. I found out when going to a physical after having not been on a scale in two years. I always assumed I was around 200 - I learned I was that heavy when trying out Wii Fit in front of my roommates. It was mortifying, and yet I ignored it, telling myself I didn't look that bad. But at 220 something just snapped. I remembered all the TV shows featuring people that were so large they couldn't walk a parking lot, and they all always said the same thing, "It creeps up on you. You get used to one weight and justify it, and then gain more and more." And I realized I was doing the same thing.

I've always been on the heavier side. I did ballet as a girl, and at the first studio I had lessons at for five years I didn't have a single friend. All of the other girls were so much smaller than me. My mom made me wear a shape control thing under my costumes and for special occasions, which didn't affect me much then but looking back makes me feel she was ashamed of me for not being pretty like the other girls.

I was teased all the time in school - mostly elementary and middle school. I had long, beautiful hair, and I loved to draw and I was smart - and people commented on those things too. But at the end of the day none of it seemed to matter because I was fat - ugly - and certain other kids never let me forget it. In high school I didn't date. I wanted to very badly, but even on the occasion a guy would ask me out, I always thought he must be desperate to ask me, or maybe lost a bet. And I didn't want to be the butt of a joke, so I would decline. That's how low my self-esteem was. I didn't care what I wore, or how I looked. I didn't really get picked on much in high school, but after going through it for so long, the mind set that I wasn't as good as thin people was already hammered in.

I hated shopping for clothes because nothing I liked ever fit.

I lied about my weight on my driver's license, because I was so embarrassed to admit the truth.

I hated every single picture of myself. I don't have many photos of me in college because of this.

Every time I walked in a room, I looked around to see if I was the heaviest person there. I hated myself when it was the case.

I could be funny, so I clung to that, because people liked me better. The flip side of that is I don't know how to express serious emotions, not really. I can't be vulnerable, because I don't feel like I'm worthy of those emotions.

But! This story has a happy ending! Or at least, I'm working towards that. I've lost almost 30 pounds and yes - getting that first digit in your weight to be a 1 is a great feeling! I'm about half way to where I want to be, and I'm so excited. Already my old clothes that I had stashed away over the years for no longer fitting - fit! It's like getting a whole new wardrobe. I feel powerful and strong after a good work out, and every day I love the changes I see in the mirror. I love love love fashion and new clothes. Yes, I still feel self-conscious often, especially when looking through racks of more trendy places while all the 6s and 4s flit around, because I am still not skinny. But that's just another battle I'll have to fight. It helps to remember that they might have had to fight for their size too. And even if not, that they probably also have insecurities, so it's unfair to just think 'oh, well, they're thin, so they have no idea'. I learned that in college hanging out with my thinner friends - the sort of things they worried about with their own appearance, when I had always assumed that after you were at a certain pants size your body image issues would only be petty things. The truth is you never know.

A huge congrats to everyone losing and lost all that baggage, no matter where you start or what your goal is. It takes hard work, and so long as we stick to it we WILL all see our goals reached someday!

Highest I've ever been besides pregnancy (my daughters are 9 & 10) was LAST MONTH!!! THAT'S why I'm here! It IS only 150, but I delivered a daughter near that weight! I just want my body back...I was robbed & beaten in the beginning of Feb, & with broken ribs amongst other things, I couldn't hardly walk let alone exercise, & weight piled on suddenly...besides about 10-15 that had creeped on over the past cpl years...time to not only get it OFF, but I used to eat just HORRIBLY! I'd go weeks at a time eating nothing but Graham crackers & drink Mountain dew. Literally. That's IT. Not even WATER. I have done a 180 from that! I'm only down 6 lbs, but I KNOW how great I'll feel when I get to my goal, because I've been there before, & I LOVED it!

here is the thing, that I am sure will sound odd ...

I feel like I am wearing a fat suit .. as if I can feel my true body under this and its just sitting there (been that way for several years now) .. this of course is probaly mental and to me its funny

but when I look at my stomach I hate it .. it protrudes out and makes me look like a big fat pregnant lady (highest 312, current 289)
when I was 190s I still have the pregnant look

my knees hurt all the time .. and when going on rides (theme park) or seats at a restruant, I have to make sure I can fit.. not fun at all