Dollar Dance

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  • pants77
    pants77 Posts: 185 Member
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    I always thought they were tacky.

    My wife and I always thought they were tacky too, so we didn't do one.

    We realized after the fact that it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.

    We really wish we had done it, looking back. Maybe just done it and not taken dollars or done dollars for the Humane Society or something.
  • amymt10
    amymt10 Posts: 271 Member
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    We did the dollar dance at my wedding 7yrs ago. I live in MD.
  • strunkm4
    strunkm4 Posts: 266
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    I've only ever seen this done at one wedding. And the same 10 people were the ones lining up to dance (there was about 150 guests at this wedding). I don't really think it's appropriate, but to each their own I suppose. I do find it a little tacky. But it might just not be common here in the Northeast?
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    They are tacky. We had one here in So Cal, I didnt really want one but it was "tradition" and we needed the money so I held my pride back on that one. I think we walked away with like 600 dollars from it. That paid for most of our hotel on our honeymoon.

    I would just talk to the parents and see if it is a tradition in their family unless you plan on paying for your own wedding.

    That is the best advice I can give. If you are going the traditional route and the Brides parents or Grooms parents are paying for the majority of the wedding they have about 51% of the say while you are at 49% but that is just my opinion.
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
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    Tacky! Your guests shouldn't have to pay for your attention.
  • shanchamber
    shanchamber Posts: 29
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    "Sorry, anytime money exchanges hands from guest to either host or guest of honor in order for the guest to acquire hospitality that should have been given graciously and freely, there is no good way to redeem it or sanitize it. There have been many creative and gracious alternatives to Money and Dollar Dances offered on Ehell for well over a decade that do not involve any transfers of cash. People who either cannot or will not challenge the Dollar Dance are weaklings who whine of their bondage to the status quo while sticking their hand out."

    http://www.etiquettehell.com/content/eh_misc/fauxpasoftheyear/fauxpas.shtml
  • jlinam80
    jlinam80 Posts: 8 Member
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    If it's popular where you're from then do it. I live in Utah, so no one out her does it that I've seen, but I don't think there's been much dancing at the weddings I've been to. LOL. I guess it all depends on your guests. I don't see anything wrong with it. I mean it's your wedding, and you should do what you want to do. I've been thinking I'm kind of crazy for some of the stuff I want to do with my wedding, and finally I decided they're my memories, and it's my day, so who cares.
  • amysj303
    amysj303 Posts: 5,086 Member
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    I have seen this at about 50% of the weddings. I have heard it is a polish tradition, a latin tradition, or midwest, or something. I think if you think the guests expect it, like they sort of like the chance to dance with the bride or groom, it doesn't offend me, but I didn't do it at my wedding. I thought my wedding was a place where my guests didn't need their wallets.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    IMHO....Tacky. No go.
  • JThomas61
    JThomas61 Posts: 892
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    Hmmmmm dollar dance, I must be in the wrong room I have supported dollar dancing one dollar at a time for many years, :laugh:
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    Do it. You'll rake in some cash to use. It's not tacky, and people are usually happy to give a few bucks to help you start your new life.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    We realized after the fact that it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.

    We really wish we had done it, looking back. Maybe just done it and not taken dollars or done dollars for the Humane Society or something.

    This. It certainly ISN'T about money when it's called a DOLLAR dance and not a ten dollar dance.


    For the record, I'm not engaged. Just curious.
  • Scarlett_S
    Scarlett_S Posts: 467 Member
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    There has been a dollar dance at every wedding I have ever been to. Most people take cash specifically for that purpose, and most people give anywhere from $5 - $20. I personally think it is fine -- almost everyone we know that has gotten married recently certainly had a need for the cash.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    I posted this in the debate group but didn't get much of a response.

    I've been thinking about this tradition at Indiana weddings and wondering if I would include it in my hypothetical future wedding. I'll be going to at least one wedding this summer but haven't attended one about 5-6 years. I'll be interested to see if this wedding includes one. Every wedding I've ever attended has included a dollar dance, including fancy/luxurious weddings..

    I realize this is typical in the midwest (I'm in Indiana), but for those who don't know, men line up to dance with the bride for about 30 seconds and women with the groom. The dancer usually donates $1 or more if they feel like it. The cash can be used for spending on the honeymoon or just cash towards their new life together.

    Would you feel this is appropriate considering the region or just plain tacky?

    all my friends have done this at their weddings and we had no problem doing it. it is good too to get pics with the bride. I would say go for it!
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    I guess my friends and family are FAR out of the norm??? We always have such a blast with it! Guys get in the line for a dance with the bride and then they goof off and get in line for a second dance with the GROOM!:laugh: Same on the girls' side. People that think it's tacky don't do it... then they get looked at as being boring and dull for sitting in their seats while we are all having a blast! :drinker:
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    Standard fare at Mexican weddings, and many guests make nice donations in lieu of gifts. It can make for some pretty special moments, actually, where you get to chat with the bride or groom privately.
  • BullDozier
    BullDozier Posts: 237 Member
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    Being from MN, just about every wedding I've been to has had a dollar dance. I view them as tradition, and I don't see them as being all that objectionable. If you want to participate, you do, and if you don't, you don't. It would be one thing if there was a traditional to go guilt everyone into joining in, but that doesn't seem to be a part of it, so no big deal.

    So, this gives me a chance to tell my favorite dollar dance story. I was the best man in a wedding many years ago, so I was policing the time for the groom. He gave me spcific insutructions to be wathing and he'd signal me when he was ready to rotate (especially when he was dancing with a grandma, or elderly relative, someone he wasn't comfortable dancing with for an extended time). Anyway, he was dancing with an older woman, I don't remember who it was, but his cousins were next in line. These cousins were identical twins and were SMOKIN' hot. I was a mid 20s unattached guy, so I did what any guy would do and I chatted them up big time at this point (they were way out of my league, but they were a captive audience, so I took advantage of the opportunity). Anyway, the groom was signalling and signalling me and I wasn't paying him any attention. He wasnted to be switching every 30 seconds, but I think he spent most of one song with her. He had my head after it was over, but it was worth it. Well, not that I had anything to show for it, but it was fun. :D
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
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    We had one at our wedding. I think it is a tradition in both me and the wife's family. We did NOT do the whole garter toss thing though. We both thought that was way more tacky than a dollar dance.

    I also did not want to have the chicken dance either.... but I was outruled by my parents and in-laws (they paid the band extra to play it).
  • bco1158
    bco1158 Posts: 38
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    I dunno, you ask people to come to your wedding, buy you gifts and then ask for MORE money?

    I've known people to put out a birdcage/box for people to drop off cards that may/may not contain money.

    I live in Seattle, and have never seen this practiced...did see it at a wedding that was held in Montana.

    ^Its optional part of the reception and usually gives people a chance to talk to the bride or groom (who can be elusive to catch a moment with on wedding day). In my experience, its not a negative thing if you choose not do it. Its generally if you want to, do it, if you dont want to do it, you dont have to.

    Where I live, its pretty common at all wedding receptions.

    Safe guess on average wedding gift is $25-$35. Average cost of food per plate (figuring tax & gratuity) is $30-$40. Plus, consider if the couple hosts liquor at $175/keg....is an extra $1 that big of a deal. :wink:
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    I had a good couple friend of mine that did this at their wedding. Their wedding included alot of different special things (mostly christian incorporations) I think it's a cute tradition.

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