Dollar Dance

I live in CA but grew up in the Midwest and Dollar dances are pretty much norm for all the weddings we've been to. I had one at mine as did my siblings. There are some weddings for friends and such who chose not to do one, but no one has ever said it was tacky.

My criteria for how much I "tip" to dance with the bride/groom depends on:
A) How close we are to the bride/groom, we give more $ the closer we are
Was the bar open or no-host? I have less $ to spend if I'm paying for all my drinks too

Every wedding I've been to has had one. I'm from Michigan. And I did one at my wedding too.

thought this was gonna be a stripper thread

Me too. Although at my wedding we didn't throw money at the dancers, or the bride and groom.

Personally, even if I had had a more "traditional" wedding, I wouldn't have done this.

Also, who plans for their hypothetical future wedding? (Probably everyone but me...)

Many wedding traditions are very regional. I'm originally from Vermont, and had seen a lot of dollar dances at weddings, but also all the crazy dancing, huge tables of GIFTS for starting your new life together (not just money) and cash bars are much more acceptable. then I moved to Massachussetts, and worked in the wedding business at a venue. It seems like only the "blue collar" families had these traditions and the swankier crowd shy'd away from anything hokey.

I will tell you, though -- sometimes the dollar dance is the only "face time" many guests get with the bride or groom, and it's nice to be able to dance with some of the older guests. Strangers won't do it, but extended family will enjoy a little dance and hug from the special couple. Guests have the option of the token $1 for the well wishes and "dance," or some come up with substantially larger bills - $10s and $20s.

I agree with one of the other ladies -- it's YOUR wedding: if you like it, do it. God knows the brides and families who think it's tacky already have made up their minds to the contrary.

My cousin had a very nice (formal) wedding and did this about 5 years ago. Heres how she did it: everyone lined up (men, women, children), there was a waiter standing by to give the guest a shot (if they wanted/were old enough, not sure if this is traditional), and the guest would put money in a fancy little bag the bride held and then dance with the bride. I thought it was fun.

it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.

^^^This! My husband and I did it and I feel there is nothing wrong with it. Yes it is a change to get a few seconds with someone who came to your wedding. Let's face it weddings are busy and you might not always get around to see everyone so this makes it nice and fun to have a few seconds of time with the bride & groom. The $1 just makes it fun and like a game!

I've seen Dollar Dances at two weddings, and I thought they were horribly tacky and boring. I am sure they were great for the drunks that kept it going for 15 minutes, but for the rest of the crowd that was sober, we sat around and waited for the dance to go on.

I also had the displeasure of listening to the bride complain about the small amount of money she raked in. Apparently $200 in a Dollar Dance, ontop of their gifts and the free wedding, was just not enough.

If someone wants to arrange for a happy private moment, they could circulate around the reception and say hi. Unfortunately, in my area, the bride spends the reception getting drunk instead.

I mentioned this to the OP already. but I'll summarize.

Frankly I'm personally insulted that anyone would have a problem with this. Its pretty much a polish tradition in my family. The bride puts on a babushka, we play the dollar dance song. The maid of honor puts on an apron to collect the money. its a polka. and she dances with each guest that wants to. They give $1, but I've seen $20's and $100's in there. Usually there is a shot afterwards (yum).
Then everyone makes a big ring, or series of rings, to surround the bride. to keep the groom away. He has to break though and carries the bride away. Because you know. giving everyone a shot of vodka and then telling them pretty much to beat up on him is a good idea.

Besides. I don't care who you are. That money is going to be great on your honey moon. Just do it. Why not?.. Although I find the ones were you pay to dance with the groom a bit odd.

Personally, I'm insulted that you're invoking our shared Polish ancestry to justify hitting up guests for more money in the crass display of base materialism. Also, just because something's a "cultural tradition" doesn't mean it isn't horribly tacky, or, in worse cases, actively harmful. That's why cultural traditions change and various things that were once common become unacceptable (like, say, Mad Men-style misogyny).

Shame on you.

I think people are missing the point and assuming it's about "asking your guests for cash". It's called a dollar dance, not a donation dance. If you are a guest and don't want to dance, you are not required. If you are offended by $1, then you need to remove the large parcel from your backside.

This is a tradition. I mentioned people had fun getting to dance with the bride and groom as say a few words at the weddings I'VE attended. They've had one at every wedding I've attended where it was a young couple and first time marriage. I've never seen it done for a second or third marriage.

Once again, I'm not even engaged. Just shocked at the negative responses and surprised this isn't common across the country.

If you didn't want both sides, why in the world did you phrase this in the form of a question?

Also, I find it interesting that you're not even planning a wedding and you're already deciding how to hit up your guests for cash. Impressive.

I mentioned this to the OP already. but I'll summarize.

Frankly I'm personally insulted that anyone would have a problem with this. Its pretty much a polish tradition in my family. The bride puts on a babushka, we play the dollar dance song. The maid of honor puts on an apron to collect the money. its a polka. and she dances with each guest that wants to. They give $1, but I've seen $20's and $100's in there. Usually there is a shot afterwards (yum).
Then everyone makes a big ring, or series of rings, to surround the bride. to keep the groom away. He has to break though and carries the bride away. Because you know. giving everyone a shot of vodka and then telling them pretty much to beat up on him is a good idea.

Besides. I don't care who you are. That money is going to be great on your honey moon. Just do it. Why not?.. Although I find the ones were you pay to dance with the groom a bit odd.

Personally, I'm insulted that you're invoking our shared Polish ancestry to justify hitting up guests for more money in the crass display of base materialism. Also, just because something's a "cultural tradition" doesn't mean it isn't horribly tacky, or, in worse cases, actively harmful. That's why cultural traditions change and various things that were once common become unacceptable (like, say, Mad Men-style misogyny).

Shame on you.

Are you comparing a voluntary dance and gift with misogyny? Really? :huh:

Nobody is being forced to participate. You may find it tacky, but "actively harmful"? Really? Good grief...