Dollar Dance

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Replies

  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    I always thought they were tacky.

    My wife and I always thought they were tacky too, so we didn't do one.

    We realized after the fact that it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.

    We really wish we had done it, looking back. Maybe just done it and not taken dollars or done dollars for the Humane Society or something.


    Ohhhh... I like that idea about the Humane Society! That's kinda cool. I was in a wedding last summer & she did not have one, she thought it was tacky, but yet did the flippin' chicken dance, which I think is God-awful. But hey it wasn't my wedding. I think the dollar dance is kinda fun, like someone else posted it gives people a litlle one on one time, which you would not normally get. If peeps don't want to contribute, then don't! It's a flippin' buck, you blow that on a coffee!

    But it's the bride and groom's job to make sure that each guest gets a little one-on-one time (with at least one of them) throughout the night. It is fundamentally flawed to ask the guests to purchase said time.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Krissy- it's more than JUST the few minutes you get to dance with the bride and groom. If its not a tradition of yours, you just won't "get it". You won't understand the meaning, the fun, the excitement about it. You're putting emphasis on the money alone without understanding the meaning.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    Krissy- it's more than JUST the few minutes you get to dance with the bride and groom. If its not a tradition of yours, you just won't "get it". You won't understand the meaning, the fun, the excitement about it. You're putting emphasis on the money alone without understanding the meaning.

    I'm not talking about the tradition as a whole. I said up thread that if it is a cultural norm/tradition in your group, I don't waste my time getting agitated about it. I was responding specifically to posters stating that it gives the guests a few minutes with the bride and groom that they WOULDN'T get otherwise - meaning, it's the only way they get to spend any time. And I think that's wrong.

    Also - as far as the fun and excitement - clearly this thread shows that even sometimes when it IS the tradition and people do understand it, they are not always finding it either fun or exciting. Some people are just bored.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I never liked the bouquet and garter toss. When I was single, I'd use that time to visit the ladies room. Which is pretty much my point about the dollar dance... if you don't like it, don't participate. But if someone did decide to have it at their wedding, that's their decision, and I think it's kind of rude to tell someone, "You're doing your wedding wrong, because it's not what I'd do." :laugh:
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    I wouldn't do it, but then, I'd likely not have a wedding, either. They become so much about everyone else and Martha Stewart... bleh. I'll spend that money on a downpayment for a house, thank you very much.


    If you want to do it, do it. If you don't, don't. It's YOUR wedding.
  • jgondor
    jgondor Posts: 145 Member
    i never heard of it until I met with my DJ for my upcoming wedding. I thought it was a cute idea to raise money for an informal wedding, like a backyard wedding. i didn't think it was appropriate for one thats being held in a nice reception hall.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    NEVER heard of it before. It sounds pretty tacky and inappropriate, especially since the guests have already brought you wedding presents usually.
  • jgondor
    jgondor Posts: 145 Member
    But it's the bride and groom's job to make sure that each guest gets a little one-on-one time (with at least one of them) throughout the night. It is fundamentally flawed to ask the guests to purchase said time.
    [/quote]




    i totally disagree with this. yes, i invited you to my wedding, but the purpose of my wedding is to celebrate and enjoy the love and committment that my fiance and i have for each other. i am not going to spend majority of the evening that i had spent 2 years planning for go to waste by making sure i spend some one-on-one time with every single guest. the wedding is about the bride and groom. any guest should feel honored that they were even invited to the wedding to celebrate with the couple.
  • KrisyKat
    KrisyKat Posts: 740 Member
    I've seen it done at every wedding I've ever been to...but I'm from Hawaii, where such a performance is a common tradition. Giving money is seen as "good luck" and, with it, comes a wish for a bright future. This custom is most publicly practiced during graduation; among the beautiful sea of fragrant flowers, you will also see money lei...

    make-money-lei-800x800.jpg

    Most are made with $1 or $5 bills, but I've seen them strung with $20s and $100s :noway:

    ~~~OP...Do what you want!! It's YOUR wedding and you should enjoy every minute of it!! ;)
  • bco1158
    bco1158 Posts: 38
    It is not up to the guests to pay them back, so yes, $1 is a big deal. It's tacky - though I do understand it is an acceptable practice in many cultures and a tradition in many families, so I don't let myself get bent out of shape about it. Though I've only ever seen it done once.

    We could argue for days on the different thoughts on averages of wedding gifts & cost per person based on all the different regions. My "average" is based on my own experiences.

    Its not an issue of the guests "paying back" the couple. I was only trying to illustrate that for those saying a couple is only doing it for the $, even if they do the dollar dance, its not a "break even" deal for them. For my friends & family, it is more about taking a moment to share with the bride or groom (or both).

    And if $1 is that big of a deal to you, then I think you may have bigger issues in your life.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    I got through page 4 and realized it is too early...lol

    We did the dollar dance at my best friend's wedding. In the very beginning. It was a way for some of the "stiff" guests to loosen up. People start to dance and enjoy themselves after the shot.

    My sister's wedding was towards the end after everyone had really been drinking. My family is one of a kind so to have the opportunity to have a few minutes of alone dance time with my sissy and my brother in law....was like a dream come true and my family takes advantage. But we are a bunch a freaks anyway. Some of my best pictures were from the dollar dance.

    I've been to weddings that don't do it and some that do...Not a big deal but they can be TONS of fun. I will say that I feel a tad bit of saddness when I go to a wedding and realize there isn't going to be one :noway:
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    But it's the bride and groom's job to make sure that each guest gets a little one-on-one time (with at least one of them) throughout the night. It is fundamentally flawed to ask the guests to purchase said time.

    i totally disagree with this. yes, i invited you to my wedding, but the purpose of my wedding is to celebrate and enjoy the love and committment that my fiance and i have for each other. i am not going to spend majority of the evening that i had spent 2 years planning for go to waste by making sure i spend some one-on-one time with every single guest. the wedding is about the bride and groom. any guest should feel honored that they were even invited to the wedding to celebrate with the couple.

    Um - WHAT? Why would you even invite guests if it's somehow a waste of your time to actually spend time with them? Seriously? You're not going to WASTE your wedding spending time with your guests? So, your guests are just there to observe you enjoying you? I don't get that at all!
    And if $1 is that big of a deal to you, then I think you may have bigger issues in your life.

    $1 as a concept, not as an amount. The question posed by the OP was "is this tacky?" Whether or not some of us think it's tacky has nothing to do with the dollar amount, for some of us, we think the concept is tacky.

    ETA: yes, I get that it's sometimes the cultural norm, or that some circles/areas have them so frequently nobody thinks anything of them - my thoughts are mostly regarding people who have never really heard about them and think "hey - that's a great way to get some spending cash." Those people do exist. You are right that no one is going to "break even" on their dollar dance/wedding costs ratio, but it is funny to me that people equate gifts with compensating for the price of your meal, and that guests are somehow supposed to help defray the costs of the wedding with dances, cash grabs, and other goofy "games". At no other event that you invite people to is there an expectation that you are somehow supposed to recoup the costs. You offer hospitality at your own cost.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    But it's the bride and groom's job to make sure that each guest gets a little one-on-one time (with at least one of them) throughout the night. It is fundamentally flawed to ask the guests to purchase said time.
    Again, no one is suggesting that this is the ONLY way to have time with the bride or groom. Also... it's a buck or two. :huh:
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Based on the split (and very STRONG) opinions here, I think its safe to say if you DO choose to have one, some of your guests will love it, and others ARE going to find it tacky.
  • jgondor
    jgondor Posts: 145 Member
    But it's the bride and groom's job to make sure that each guest gets a little one-on-one time (with at least one of them) throughout the night. It is fundamentally flawed to ask the guests to purchase said time.

    i totally disagree with this. yes, i invited you to my wedding, but the purpose of my wedding is to celebrate and enjoy the love and committment that my fiance and i have for each other. i am not going to spend majority of the evening that i had spent 2 years planning for go to waste by making sure i spend some one-on-one time with every single guest. the wedding is about the bride and groom. any guest should feel honored that they were even invited to the wedding to celebrate with the couple.

    Um - WHAT? Why would you even invite guests if it's somehow a waste of your time to actually spend time with them? Seriously? You're not going to WASTE your wedding spending time with your guests? So, your guests are just there to observe you enjoying you? I don't get that at all!

    considering that the majority of weddings have 150+ guests invited, yes i do find it a waste to have my focus on spending one-on-one time with them rather than one-on-one time with my fiance that day. the day is supposed to be all about the bride and groom, hence it being called a wedding. the guests are there to observe the bride and groom enjoy each others company and love, AND celebrate their own happiness for the couple. like someone else said during this thread, there are other ways to spend time with the bride and groom before/during/after the wedding.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    Based on the split (and very STRONG) opinions here, I think its safe to say if you DO choose to have one, some of your guests will love it, and others ARE going to find it tacky.
    Based on the responses, it appears to me that it has everything to do with how familiar guests are with it.
  • FollowThatUnicorn
    FollowThatUnicorn Posts: 200 Member
    Thanks for this thread :)

    Because of it, I've met 2 people who live by me that share similar interests with me.

    Awesome :)
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Based on the split (and very STRONG) opinions here, I think its safe to say if you DO choose to have one, some of your guests will love it, and others ARE going to find it tacky.
    Based on the responses, it appears to me that it has everything to do with how familiar guests are with it.
    Not necessarily....I'm in Michigan and its fairly common here - (or at least it used to be years ago). Plus I tended bar at a hall for a lot of years, so I've seen every possible wedding ritual done more times than you can possibly imagine (and as a bartender, I also heard feedback from the guests about the whole thing). I'm VERY familiar with the 'tradition", but (personally) still find it to be in bad taste. When I got married a few years ago, we had family members ask beforehand if we were doing it at our wedding though, so clearly some people still really like the idea. Its definitely a matter of personal choice.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Based on the split (and very STRONG) opinions here, I think its safe to say if you DO choose to have one, some of your guests will love it, and others ARE going to find it tacky.
    Based on the responses, it appears to me that it has everything to do with how familiar guests are with it.

    Yep. Some cultures have candle ceremonies. Some have sand ceremonies. Some have handfasting. Some hold hands and jump over a broom. If it's something you're not familiar with, it's going to seem odd.
  • LiddyBit
    LiddyBit Posts: 447 Member
    Based on the split (and very STRONG) opinions here, I think its safe to say if you DO choose to have one, some of your guests will love it, and others ARE going to find it tacky.
    Based on the responses, it appears to me that it has everything to do with how familiar guests are with it.

    No, not really. I think it's more about how familiar people are with etiquette. I mean, I have been to several weddings with dollar dances. My cousins all had them at their weddings. Familiarity with it doesn't make me consider it any less tacky.

    I don't think this is something that can be excused away by cultural differences. It is profoundly inappropriate for guests to have to bring cash to your party, any party, for any reason. Cash in a card as a gift is one thing, waving ones around is another.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    It is profoundly inappropriate for guests to have to bring cash to your party, any party, for any reason.
    Good lord -- you'd think that guests were being forced to participate by guards poking them in the back with lances. :huh:
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    It is profoundly inappropriate for guests to have to bring cash to your party, any party, for any reason. Cash in a card as a gift is one thing, waving ones around is another.
    "Profoundly inappropriate" for YOU, maybe. Certainly not in a traditional Mexican wedding reception.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    I'm from PA, It's a rare, rare occasion when I go to a wedding that DOESN'T have a dollar dance.

    They are perfectly normal to me.
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    I've never been to a wedding that had one.. not sure if I would care either way. However, at one of my cousin's weddings, they had a table set up by the cake table that was supposed to be a money tree. You had to walk right by it for the receiving line. I thought that was beyond tacky. There was even a little framed poem that said something about giving a dollar to help the happy couple start their new life together. There were little pins that you pinned your money to tree with... so not only were you giving them money, you were adding to the decor! :laugh: :indifferent:
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    I've never been to a wedding that had one.. not sure if I would care either way. However, at one of my cousin's weddings, they had a table set up by the cake table that was supposed to be a money tree. You had to walk right by it for the receiving line. I thought that was beyond tacky. There was even a little framed poem that said something about giving a dollar to help the happy couple start their new life together. There were little pins that you pinned your money to tree with... so not only were you giving them money, you were adding to the decor! :laugh: :indifferent:
    Hilarious...

    A friend of mine got invited to a wedding with this kind of "resigtry"

    http://www.honeymoonpromises.com/danielandkate?__utma=1.604590951.1338914729.1338914729.1338914729.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1338914729&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1338914729.1.1.utmcsr=google|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=buy%20our%20honeymoon&__utmv=-&__utmk=132399502
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    I've never been to a wedding that had one.. not sure if I would care either way. However, at one of my cousin's weddings, they had a table set up by the cake table that was supposed to be a money tree. You had to walk right by it for the receiving line. I thought that was beyond tacky. There was even a little framed poem that said something about giving a dollar to help the happy couple start their new life together. There were little pins that you pinned your money to tree with... so not only were you giving them money, you were adding to the decor! :laugh: :indifferent:
    Hilarious...

    A friend of mine got invited to a wedding with this kind of "resigtry"

    http://www.honeymoonpromises.com/danielandkate?__utma=1.604590951.1338914729.1338914729.1338914729.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1338914729&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1338914729.1.1.utmcsr=google|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=buy%20our%20honeymoon&__utmv=-&__utmk=132399502

    I know someone who got invited to a wedding that literally the reception card said it was a money back wedding, no gifts just cash wanted.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    I've never been to a wedding that had one.. not sure if I would care either way. However, at one of my cousin's weddings, they had a table set up by the cake table that was supposed to be a money tree. You had to walk right by it for the receiving line. I thought that was beyond tacky. There was even a little framed poem that said something about giving a dollar to help the happy couple start their new life together. There were little pins that you pinned your money to tree with... so not only were you giving them money, you were adding to the decor! :laugh: :indifferent:
    Hilarious...

    A friend of mine got invited to a wedding with this kind of "resigtry"

    http://www.honeymoonpromises.com/danielandkate?__utma=1.604590951.1338914729.1338914729.1338914729.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1338914729&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1338914729.1.1.utmcsr=google|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=buy%20our%20honeymoon&__utmv=-&__utmk=132399502

    And the thing about most of those types of registries that people don't understand is that they aren't booking any excursions - they are selecting one, but the bride and groom at the end (usually) just get the cash equivalent of what you "purchased" (minus the cut of the website) and they can choose to spend it on what you selected (most do, but not all) or not. So, in all honesty - you're better off giving them cash with a note to "spend it on their honeymoon" than going through one of these websites where 10% (or whatever) of what you gave the happy couple goes to the company to "faciliated" their list.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    It is profoundly inappropriate for guests to have to bring cash to your party, any party, for any reason.
    Good lord -- you'd think that guests were being forced to participate by guards poking them in the back with lances. :huh:

    I always have cash to tip the bartenders.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    But it's the bride and groom's job to make sure that each guest gets a little one-on-one time (with at least one of them) throughout the night. It is fundamentally flawed to ask the guests to purchase said time.

    i totally disagree with this. yes, i invited you to my wedding, but the purpose of my wedding is to celebrate and enjoy the love and committment that my fiance and i have for each other. i am not going to spend majority of the evening that i had spent 2 years planning for go to waste by making sure i spend some one-on-one time with every single guest. the wedding is about the bride and groom. any guest should feel honored that they were even invited to the wedding to celebrate with the couple.

    Um - WHAT? Why would you even invite guests if it's somehow a waste of your time to actually spend time with them? Seriously? You're not going to WASTE your wedding spending time with your guests? So, your guests are just there to observe you enjoying you? I don't get that at all!

    considering that the majority of weddings have 150+ guests invited, yes i do find it a waste to have my focus on spending one-on-one time with them rather than one-on-one time with my fiance that day. the day is supposed to be all about the bride and groom, hence it being called a wedding. the guests are there to observe the bride and groom enjoy each others company and love, AND celebrate their own happiness for the couple. like someone else said during this thread, there are other ways to spend time with the bride and groom before/during/after the wedding.

    To each their own, I guess. My wedding had 144 guests and my husband and I both felt it was very important to spend time with the people who were important enough to us to be invited to share such a special day with us. He and I have a lifetime to spend together, and while we spent much time together on our wedding day, we also spent much time apart seeing to and celebrating with our guests. I certainly didn't feel like anyone was there to observe me in any way once the ceremony was over. They were there to celebrate with me, not near me. :-)

    That said - I hope your wedding goes wonderfully! It is such a joyous time in life. Don't sweat the small stuff (or even the big stuff) cause it's really just about the end result when all is said and done. Enjoy it - it goes by much faster than you can imagine.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    And the thing about most of those types of registries that people don't understand is that they aren't booking any excursions - they are selecting one, but the bride and groom at the end (usually) just get the cash equivalent of what you "purchased" (minus the cut of the website) and they can choose to spend it on what you selected (most do, but not all) or not. So, in all honesty - you're better off giving them cash with a note to "spend it on their honeymoon" than going through one of these websites where 10% (or whatever) of what you gave the happy couple goes to the company to "faciliated" their list.

    I agree completely. I give cash for the wedding gift about 99% of the time anyway, and only buy an actual registry item for a wedding shower.

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