Dollar Dance

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Replies

  • jgondor
    jgondor Posts: 145 Member
    But it's the bride and groom's job to make sure that each guest gets a little one-on-one time (with at least one of them) throughout the night. It is fundamentally flawed to ask the guests to purchase said time.

    i totally disagree with this. yes, i invited you to my wedding, but the purpose of my wedding is to celebrate and enjoy the love and committment that my fiance and i have for each other. i am not going to spend majority of the evening that i had spent 2 years planning for go to waste by making sure i spend some one-on-one time with every single guest. the wedding is about the bride and groom. any guest should feel honored that they were even invited to the wedding to celebrate with the couple.

    Um - WHAT? Why would you even invite guests if it's somehow a waste of your time to actually spend time with them? Seriously? You're not going to WASTE your wedding spending time with your guests? So, your guests are just there to observe you enjoying you? I don't get that at all!

    considering that the majority of weddings have 150+ guests invited, yes i do find it a waste to have my focus on spending one-on-one time with them rather than one-on-one time with my fiance that day. the day is supposed to be all about the bride and groom, hence it being called a wedding. the guests are there to observe the bride and groom enjoy each others company and love, AND celebrate their own happiness for the couple. like someone else said during this thread, there are other ways to spend time with the bride and groom before/during/after the wedding.

    To each their own, I guess. My wedding had 144 guests and my husband and I both felt it was very important to spend time with the people who were important enough to us to be invited to share such a special day with us. He and I have a lifetime to spend together, and while we spent much time together on our wedding day, we also spent much time apart seeing to and celebrating with our guests. I certainly didn't feel like anyone was there to observe me in any way once the ceremony was over. They were there to celebrate with me, not near me. :-)

    That said - I hope your wedding goes wonderfully! It is such a joyous time in life. Don't sweat the small stuff (or even the big stuff) cause it's really just about the end result when all is said and done. Enjoy it - it goes by much faster than you can imagine.

    im glad that we can agree to disagree :smile:. and thank you, i am really looking forward to marrying the love of my life. :heart:
  • LiddyBit
    LiddyBit Posts: 447 Member
    It is profoundly inappropriate for guests to have to bring cash to your party, any party, for any reason.
    Good lord -- you'd think that guests were being forced to participate by guards poking them in the back with lances. :huh:

    I always have cash to tip the bartenders.

    The host of the reception should tip the bartenders, not the guests.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    The host of the reception should tip the bartenders, not the guests.
    That's a nice idea in theory, but the host is already spending a lot of money to have you there as a guest and although it often includes a gratuity paid to the facility, that money is generally used by the venue to pay the wages of the servers, bartenders, cooks, etc. Anyone who has ever worked in the service industry will tip bartenders at a wedding. You'd be amazed at what they I had put up with as a bartender when it comes to people drinking in an open bar situation (I could write a book!)
  • buffybabe
    buffybabe Posts: 180 Member
    I live in Michigan, so I have been to many weddings that have them. That being said, I am getting married in September and will definitely NOT be having one, because I do think they are tacky.
  • morgansmom02
    morgansmom02 Posts: 1,131 Member
    I think it is a big waste of time and people who don't want to do the dollar dance get bored.
  • LiddyBit
    LiddyBit Posts: 447 Member
    The host of the reception should tip the bartenders, not the guests.
    That's a nice idea in theory, but the host is already spending a lot of money to have you as a guest there and although it often includes a gratuity paid to the facility, that money is generally used by the venue to pay the wages of the servers, bartenders, cooks, etc. Anyone who has ever worked in the service industry will tip bartenders at a wedding. You'd be amazed at what they I had put up with as a bartender when it comes to people drinking in an open bar situation (I could write a book!)

    The host should have the reception he or she can afford to pay for. Guests are entitled to be treated as such, and should not have to pay for their attendance at your party in any way. YOU invited THEM.

    I know that there is gratuity paid to the facility, the host should also tip the servers separately.
  • suzzann666
    suzzann666 Posts: 334 Member
    thought this was gonna be a stripper thread

    right!!
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    The host of the reception should tip the bartenders, not the guests.
    That's a nice idea in theory, but the host is already spending a lot of money to have you as a guest there and although it often includes a gratuity paid to the facility, that money is generally used by the venue to pay the wages of the servers, bartenders, cooks, etc. Anyone who has ever worked in the service industry will tip bartenders at a wedding. You'd be amazed at what they I had put up with as a bartender when it comes to people drinking in an open bar situation (I could write a book!)
    The host should have the reception he or she can afford to pay for. Guests are entitled to be treated as such, and should not have to pay for their attendance at your party in any way. YOU invited THEM.

    I know that there is gratuity paid to the facility, the host should also tip the servers separately.
    In the case of a Mexican wedding, the mindset is that the wedding is a community effort. Family and friends volunteer to be "padrinos" and pay for most of the wedding.

    Between everyone, it all comes together, when it couldn't otherwise. When the beer runs out, folks pool money and run for another keg. No sense of entitlement, or smugness. No chips on the shoulder. Everyone there to celebrate. It's a beautiful thing.
  • futuremalestripper
    futuremalestripper Posts: 467 Member
    thought this was gonna be a stripper thread

    right!!

    When will someone finally create a good stripper thread with tips for me to learn from?
  • Yes2HealthyAriel
    Yes2HealthyAriel Posts: 453 Member
    never heard of this being done before, totally new to me. I dont like the idea at all
  • natalie4grace
    natalie4grace Posts: 8
    In the South it is very common and people enjoy it :) No reason to call it Vulgar or Tacky....to each is their own
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
    I've been to numerous weddings. A lot in the past year and longer. To be honest, I have never been to a wedding where they have not had the dollar dance. I am getting married in September and plan to do the dollar dance. If people dont want to participate, they dont have to. But, it is very common here. :)
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    The host should have the reception he or she can afford to pay for. Guests are entitled to be treated as such, and should not have to pay for their attendance at your party in any way. YOU invited THEM.

    I know that there is gratuity paid to the facility, the host should also tip the servers separately.
    The point I was trying to make is that the host often isn't aware of the fact that their gratuity isn't necessarily covering the extra efforts of the staff. Its not that they dropped the ball or they can't afford to host a party at that venue- they just aren't aware of how the industry works.

    Generally people tip someone who is providing an extra service to them (provided its GOOD service).
  • sharleengc
    sharleengc Posts: 792 Member
    I never heard of it until a guest told the DJ to have a dollar dance at my wedding and the DJ made the anouncement. I found it a little awkward but I guess some of the guests had been asking about it.

    For us, it didn't last long, only about 5 minutes but a lot of people gave us like $10-$20 for the dance instead of a gift so we ended up with like $200 from the dance.

    I would never have asked or mentioned it but I guess if the guests bring it up and ask it's their choice?
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    I always thought they were tacky.

    My wife and I always thought they were tacky too, so we didn't do one.

    We realized after the fact that it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.

    We really wish we had done it, looking back. Maybe just done it and not taken dollars or done dollars for the Humane Society or something.

    I was just gonna say, in light of the fact that most/all of your guests have already given a gift of some sort, maybe ask them to donate to a favorite cause/charity of the bride/groom.
  • adimeadance
    adimeadance Posts: 7 Member
    I live in Indiana also, and I've seen the dollar dance done at every wedding I've attended. I like the tradition, and it allows each person at the wedding a private moment with the bride or groom if they'd like one. For the few that don't want to participate- they don't have to. And for the few who might be bored- they can sit tight. It's only 15 or so minutes of the entire evening and a special moment for the bride and groom. I plan on doing it at my own wedding someday.
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I guess if you are at a dollar dance, don't participate if you find it "tacky" Its not that you can't dance with the bride or groom later. It's a tradition. I looked it up and there are different versions of this tradition, in other countries also. This is not something that greedy bride and grooms just came up with. The point of the tradition is to give a little extra help (if you want) to the bride and groom for their honeymoon or for getting their home started. And, the dollar dance really doesn't take long. Each person dances with the bride / groom for a short period of time.
  • jessie1480
    jessie1480 Posts: 132 Member
    Ok, so I'm originally from Michigan. Middle class blue collar workers if that makes a difference. The dollar dance was a tradition with my family and friends. I live in northern California now. And have a wide range of friends from different economic situations. And I see the dollar dance about 50% of the time. From 50 thousand dollar weddings to 5 thousand dollar weddings it seems the guests who enjoy it participate and the ones who don't don't.

    I don't really understand why some people are so angry. You go to a wedding to celebrate with the couple in their traditions. If the dollar dance is a tradition for that couple then they should do it.

    And for those of you snapping at the OP for asking when she's not yet engaged; you obviously haven't had that moment in time when you're with someone that could very well be the one and you start planning your furture. Sorry for you! It's a very fun and exciting place to be. Rock on with your bad self OP!!
  • marzinator13
    marzinator13 Posts: 149 Member
    I see nothing wrong with it and plan on having it at my wedding. Its a quick way to make sure you get a chance to have a dance with as many of your guests as possible
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Are they not letting Mexicans into Indiana again? Damn... Where Mexicans hold the exclusive patent to the practice, no other cultures are allowed to practice it.

    :huh:

    Nope, plenty of Mexicans in Indiana. :laugh: Besides being a Meixcan and Polish tradition. It has also been common at Indiana weddings for at least the 25 years I've been alive.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Thanks for this thread :)

    Because of it, I've met 2 people who live by me that share similar interests with me.

    Awesome :)

    WHOOO! yay!
  • GoldyGA
    GoldyGA Posts: 1 Member
    Never heard of it (live in Georgia, grew up in New England) till my daughter's fiance read about it online and thought it was a great idea.

    Ain't gonna happen, mainly because the amount of time it would consume out of a very limited schedule (we have reception hall for 4 hours, and bride and groom arrive 45 minutes into that). Lots more fun we can have that would involve more people, IMHO.
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