Does anyone else NOT want kids?
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A 14 year old girl makes Ghenghis Khan look like a milk-fed babe in chiffon panties. It is what it is, and we get through it.
A ten year old girl is a bigger pain than a 2 year old.I don't want to have kids. My boyfriend wants kids. I told him the baby deadline is when I turn 36.
The only way I will have children is if we could afford:
-Live-in nanny
-Cleaning lady
-Surrogate mother
When I think of children, I automatically think of the terrible twos and teenagers. I shudder at both.
If you don't want kids, don't have them. Anybody gives you a hard time about it, tell 'em to take a flying &%^ at a rolling donut. There is no 'duty' to reproduce yourself, none. Human beings are not an endangered species, and the world is nicely populated and "Subdued", as someone once commanded.
BTW - about how many people there are and how much room we take up. There are about 7 Billion of us. In a standing room only crowd, each person needs about 2 square feet. So 14 billion square feet, which is about 502 square miles. That ain't Texas,,, it's not even a good sized county. But just 'cause we could all attend one honkin' big *kitten* rock concert, that don't mean the world needs more of us.
We have 2 ours and 2 foundlings and a couple of kid-in-laws (with some overlap in there,,, it's all good). They're all ours and we love them all, but we respect anybody's right to choose to procreate, or not to.0 -
I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!
It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!
I never want kids.
No need to call those that want or have kids nuts or trashy. They are entitled to become a mother just as you are entitled not to become one. if you don't want kids, I would never try and talk you into it.
And btw many women do "something " with their lives as well as being a mom.
Sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention. I was generalizing and I shouldn't have said it like that. But the girls I know with kids ARE trashy and ONLY want to be moms, and nothing else. It's sad, but it's so glamorized today.
I am a mom and I refuse to only be a mom. My kids will grow up and pursue their own lives one day. What will i do then if I am ONLY a mom. NO WAY!0 -
People who don't want kids definitely shouldn't have them. The last thing we need are parents who are resentful of the children in their care.
^^This.0 -
Its nice to see people so accepting of not wanting children.
I got married at 30 which was really late compared to everyone else in my family. My husband and I had decided that we didnt want kids.
I think if I had been 23 and less set in my ways, I probably would have had a child or two. But now, I love the life I live just the way it is.
I do enjoy other people's kids (until they start screaming, then I give them back) and love to spend a finite amount of time with them.
I get a lot of crap from family members about it and about how I'm getting past the childbearing age (I'm 35) and I better hurry up and "change my mind". Thats a pretty big thing to change your mind on, imo.
I'm sure if I had a birth control accident and became pregnant, that I would be like everyone else and love my child even though they just turned my life upside down.
But other than that, I'm happily kid-free. You aren't alone.0 -
No offense really taken as I'm too old to be the target of your opinion. I realize that you are "youngish" and I know this is just a forum but (imo) you should think about what you say and how it may appear or sound to others.I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!
It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!
I never want kids.
No need to call those that want or have kids nuts or trashy. They are entitled to become a mother just as you are entitled not to become one. if you don't want kids, I would never try and talk you into it.
And btw many women do "something " with their lives as well as being a mom.
Sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention. I was generalizing and I shouldn't have said it like that. But the girls I know with kids ARE trashy and ONLY want to be moms, and nothing else. It's sad, but it's so glamorized today.
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No offense really taken as I'm too old to be the target of your opinion. I realize that you are "youngish" and I know this is just a forum but (imo) you should think about what you say and how it may appear or sound to others.I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!
It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!
I never want kids.
No need to call those that want or have kids nuts or trashy. They are entitled to become a mother just as you are entitled not to become one. if you don't want kids, I would never try and talk you into it.
And btw many women do "something " with their lives as well as being a mom.
Sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention. I was generalizing and I shouldn't have said it like that. But the girls I know with kids ARE trashy and ONLY want to be moms, and nothing else. It's sad, but it's so glamorized today.
Haha I got a little carried away. This is a hot subject with me. I get a lot of pressure from people and I just think I'm too young to have kids. I haven't lived yet! I want to get a good degree and have a good job! And a big house and lots of money! And pets! Kids are not in my future plans 0 -
I think it is a legitimate choice not to have children. And no one should bug someone about so personal a decision.
I am in my 50's, and decided to have children. The older I get, the more I think it was a good decision for me. But, actually raising children is expensive and can be frustrating and even heartbreaking at times. I've seen studies that say parents worry more, since you tend to worry not only for yourself, but for your children, too.
My only concern for those who choose to not have children is possible isolation in old age. While having children is no guarantee they will stick around as adults and be helpful when you grow old, there's at least a chance they may. Apropos of that topic, here's an interesting article: http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/03/25/aging-without-children/0 -
I had believed my whole life that I never wanted to have kids, and then suddenly, in my mid 30s, I wanted them. I now have two. I know several other people who felt the same way, but then a major life event or the biological clock ticking made them change their minds.
If you truly don't want them, then by all means don't have them. That decision belongs to no one other than you and your significant other. However, speaking from experience here, you're only in your 20s, and your opinion of kids may change.0 -
This phrase is a huge pet peeve of mine. People will say "do you have a family?" and mean do I have a husband and children. I'm single with no kids and while I "never say never", the idea of never having children does not make me at all sad. And it does not mean I don't have a family, for pete's sake. :grumble:When people bug us about when we're going to start a family...
Many married people and people with children like to treat those of us who have led different lives and/or made different choices as if we're only partial humans because we haven't experienced the supposed joy of child-rearing. If you want kids, have kids. Have twenty of them, for all I care. If you don't want them, don't have them.
Food for thought: Most people who have actually made the decision not to have children have given the whole idea a lot more thought than many, many parents out there.0 -
My husband and I don't want kids either. We are so sick of people saying 'It is different when they are your own'. Yes, we believe this, but it doesn't change our minds. We have the mindset that if God wanted us to have kids then I will get pregnant on birth control. If I have a child I know I will love it...I just don't want to bring a child into this cruel world where everyone gets bullied now. I was bullied growing up and it is not fun. I also have a lot of health problems that I do not want my child do deal with and my husband also has a few health problems to. We just had this chat again this weekend with people asking us (we got married in September and have been together 6 years now). We are going to start volunteering out time with Big Brothers/Big Sisters or some other group. We are good people and want to do good things...we just don't want a child of our own. We have 2 nieces and a nephew (who was born a week ago today) and we love them to pieces...we get to give them back to their parents and don't have to deal with the naughty side of kids. 0
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Kids are overrated!
Good thing your parents didn't think that!0 -
I'm 32 and have never wanted children!
Don't get me wrong I like children, I just don't want any of my own0 -
I don't want any more that's for damn sure! :laugh: There's a new commercial that I love, it basically questions why folks say "settle down & start a family, we all know a family is not settled" as they show kids running out of the minivan & exhausted parents. As the mother of 4 ranging from 5 to 16 I can relate 100% to that commercail! This life is NOT settled. It's hectic & crazy. I love my babies, they are funny & crazy & sweet but life with them is not settled.
Oh & I always discourage all of my friends from having a big family. Let the flaming begin :bigsmile:0 -
I felt the same way when I was younger. Boy was I wrong. I wouldn't trade my son Dylan for anything. He has brought me more joy than anything this world has to offer.0
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I will NEVER have children and I just laugh it off when people
say I will and act like it's a funny joke. No one can be offended
then and it gets the point across without having to be *****y.0 -
I felt the same way when I was younger. Boy was I wrong. I wouldn't trade my son Dylan for anything. He has brought me more joy than anything this world has to offer.
I feel the same way about my rottweiler 0 -
My kids and my wife are probably the best things in my life. Kids aren't for everyone but I couldn't imagine my life without them.0
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Dogs are cool!I felt the same way when I was younger. Boy was I wrong. I wouldn't trade my son Dylan for anything. He has brought me more joy than anything this world has to offer.
I feel the same way about my rottweiler0 -
I'm not ever married or anything but for me, I don't really care for kids or I'd like to delay having kids.0
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only when i would like 5 minutes alone
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I will NEVER have children and I just laugh it off when people
say I will and act like it's a funny joke. No one can be offended
then and it gets the point across without having to be *****y.
I dislike anyone discounting someone's thoughts as a 'stage' they may be going through. Many younger people know exactly what they want, and I think it's obnoxious to have some old know-it-all say you'll change your mind. If you do--good. And if you don't--good.0 -
So I just turned 28 and I am married. I have always said "kids aren't my thing". My husband is on the fence and might like one but knows how I feel. I suppose many Mother in Laws & mothers are this way where they will constantly talk about babies or ask about when I plan on having kids, since I am getting to the age where I would need to decide soon. How do you say that you don't want them? My MIL keeps talking about my husband holding our new niece as "good practice", but I don't have the heart to tell her how I feel! Any advice?
Haven't read all the replies ~ I am mother of 2 and let me tell you that I applaude you admitting that you don't want kids! Not every one does being married doesn't mean being parents! It takes a great person to say this~to have kids and not be sure is totally unfair to the kids! I would not respond to your MIL and mother it is their place! This is between you and your hubby!!!0 -
It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!
Yeah, that wasn't a very well thought-out post.
I'm 22 and have PCOS and if my financial situation was right, I'd already be a mother. It's going to be a struggle for me to even conceive but I know for a fact that I want children. I'm not passing judgement on people who don't want kids; as others have said, why bring someone into the world that you really didn't want in the first place? Heck, even people who have kids and want kids aren't always good parents.
I really don't see how having children at 22 is "trashy." It's more than above legal age and there's nothing that says you can't do "something with your life" with a child. It will be MUCH harder, I know this first-hand from family members and friends, but it's not impossible.
*Shrugs*0 -
I do not want kids.
In fact we have 5....lol I am ready to send them back for a refund.
Seriously, kids are great, but your whole life changes.
Think long and hard before becoming a parent. I would not have life any other way.0 -
To each his or her own. My kids are everything to me.0
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http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/17/think-before-you-breed/?hp
A timely piece in the NYT.0 -
I am 27, and my husband is 32. Neither of us want kids. I love children but I love the fact I can 'borrow' them more. I am too selfish for kids and I lack the desire to have them. I am the oldest of 6 *youngest sibling is 5* so I know what is is like to raise kids. Yes, I understand it isn't the same as popping them out myself, but I've done the 3am feeding and skipping school to go to the dr.
I get so annoyed when people tell me I will change my mind. I've had this same opinion for 10 years now. I just don't want kids.
I like being able to pick up and go for the weekend if I want, or have a beer or two with dinner and not feel guilty about it. Or, hell, I like being able to go, meh, ice cream for dinner is acceptable (not so much anymore, but you get my drift).
It's great to see so many others who don't want kids. Here where I live, that is not the case at all. Everyone has 2, 3, 4, or 5 kids. That's waaaaay too many!0 -
As a child i never like children, as an adult i like them even less.
Women in my office come in with there newborns and know not to come near me. I just don't understand the urge to have children. Not that i am saying people shouldn't have children but they are not for me. I do get insulted when people tell me i'll grow out of it ( i am 28) i feel that is the same as laughing at someone who just gave birth.
Luckily my OH has a son from many years ago and is not found of children in the 1st place. My parents know i am not about to convert to camp baby so i guess i am lucky not to have the pressure.
But back to my point, no i don't want children.. yes it is ok not to want children, yes it is ok to want children xx0 -
Hated kids before I had kids. I have 4 now. I still don't like kids.
I just have a higher tolerance for my own.
If he wont tell her, you have got to do it. It is your body and your choice. In laws can be pushy and if you don't stand your ground they will push you until you snap or cave. Stay strong! :drinker:0 -
I don't think this would help you, because it's completely ridiculous, but maybe it'll get you a laugh?
I'm 26 and a lot of my friends/relatives close in age, are now settling down, marrying, and starting their own families. I'm currently in a relationship, and it's serious, but it's not *that* serious, ya know?
Last week two different people asked me when I was going to start having children. I thought to myself, "that's not really an appropriate question to ask an unmarried woman. Admittedly, I've nothing against having children while unmarried, but it's usually not the best course of action in most cases."
I looked at the questioning party each time I was asked, and with a straight face, replied with, "I really just want a puppy. My biological clock is barking."
There were no further questions.0
This discussion has been closed.
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