Sleeping in seperate beds, what do you think?

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  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
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    If I had a boyfriend, I'd prefer separate beds.

    I need a lot of space when I'm sleeping, and I can't stand being touched when I'm trying to do so.
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
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    if you move alot or take all the cover could be why....
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Could mean something, could mean nothing. As others have suggested, he may just sleep better by himself. Is your relationship healthy, otherwise?
  • InTheInbetween
    InTheInbetween Posts: 192 Member
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    Oh you just need what my wife and I have - MEGABED.

    It's a Twin and a Queen pushed together. (I get the twin of course). The extra space means no blankie stealing or accidental "wolverine having a bad dream about the war" impaling. If one of us has a restless night the other doesn't get affected. I get to have my firm mattress, she gets to have her weird all-engulfing soft white blood cell type thing.

    And best of all, wanna cuddle... you can just roll right over across the gap and do so.

    ^^ This is genius!
  • Maude_Lewbowski
    Maude_Lewbowski Posts: 395 Member
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    If I didn't have a kingsized bed I would sleep in a seperate bed. I am a light sleeper with horrible insomnia. I would consider it my present to my SO and myself.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    My first thought is that it's odd for 2 people so young to be sleeping separately. You guys should be horny as hell, all over each other and ready to spring into action at any moment. Ahh youth is wasted on the young. How long have you been seeing this guy? If he is committed to the relationship he should be open to try and work something out? So is it like 2 single beds in a room like Flintstone style? Is he still living in his parents house? Maybe it's time for him to graduate from the kiddie car bed to a adult relationship.
  • nikinyx6
    nikinyx6 Posts: 772 Member
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    My boyfriend's grandparents sleep in two different rooms and they have for many years now. His grandma snores very loud, and his grandpa is a ridiculously light sleeper, so the two of them sleeping together is not an option if they want to have "a good night's sleep". However, according to his grandma, it makes the time that they DO decide to visit each others beds all the more special and fun. ;) Haha! They've got such a sweet and caring relationship going, that I seriously do not think that your boyfriend is not trying to be rude or hurtful; he is just being truthful. And for that you should be happy. If he has a hard time sleeping when there's someone in the bed next to him...then he has a hard time sleeping! Some people are just like that, and for you to want to break up with him just because of that...is...:(

    Tell him how you feel, and and try to compromise if you truly care about him. If sleeping in separate beds for the rest of your life is something you absolutely cannot do, break up, I guess..

    girl Debbie Gibson is your Doppleganger, you look just like her.........................I mean this as a compliment she is beautiful

    wow it's true...you look like Debbie

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  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    My husband and I both have problems with insomnia, but rarely at the same time--giving us plenty of time to wake each other up from what might otherwise be a rare good night's sleep. I always sleep with lots of covers, and he likes just a sheet. I toss and turn, he elbows me in the face/chest (ever been woken up by an elbow to the face?) or rolls over on top of me. Occasionally I wish we had separate beds, or at least a guest room one of us could move to on bad nights. Sometimes one of us sleeps on the floor because it's actually easier to get some rest or not keep the other person up. Personally, I would ask why specifically he has trouble sleeping with you in the bed, but I don't really find it odd *at all*.

    I would note that if you're not talking to each other, and thinking of breaking up over this sort of issue, this might be a sign of bigger issues in the relationship.
  • thewang
    thewang Posts: 71 Member
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    My boyfriend and I don't even share a bedroom. In fact, we have an entire floor seperating us. He's an incredibly light sleeper, I sleep like a dead person and snore constantly (I'm sure my weight is a factor there...) It does suck sometimes waking up by myself etc... but we make it a point to have cuddle time in the same bed before we go to sleep and a few days a week/weekends join the other in their bed in the morning. I would rather him get a good nights sleep than sleep next to me so maybe your boyfriend just needs to do a few things differently so you don't feel neglected/rejected :)
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
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    If I had a boyfriend, I'd prefer separate beds.

    I need a lot of space when I'm sleeping, and I can't stand being touched when I'm trying to do so.

    I'd rub novacaine on my hands and still touch you. BOOM!
  • Jebbster007
    Jebbster007 Posts: 265 Member
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    I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl.

    My husband is twenty years older than me...................we've been together for 14 years. Don't spout nonsense.

    Good for you. That is awesome. Glad someone else said this before me. Lets make sure every human being in the world fits into our own tiny little private box of what is a "good man".
  • HealthyNFit4Life
    HealthyNFit4Life Posts: 185 Member
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    What's his reasoning?? I personally hate sharing beds with boys. I like my own space when I sleep and get hot.
  • 4flamingoz
    4flamingoz Posts: 214 Member
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    You're in your 20's and dealing with that? What's gonna happen when your 40 and still with him? Get rid of the knitwit
  • usernamejoe
    usernamejoe Posts: 219 Member
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    You must have pulled him out of a Lassie tv show or something
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    Agreed- See is he is willing on getting a bigger bed if space is an issue. I like to cuddle a little before I fall asleep, but once I fall asleep, I like to sleep comfortable and have my space. We have a California King and I love it!!! It would be very alarming to me if my fiance wanted to sleep in different beds. I would want to find a solution to the problem.
    Hmmm, maybe you need a bigger bed. When my hubby and I first got together we were sharing a full size bed (he's 6'4" 250lbs and I'm not tiny). When I got pregnant with our first child I ended up sleeping in a different bed because there just wasn't enough room for the 2 1/2 of us and my body pillow. That only lasted for a month or two until we could afford to upgrade to the king size bed. Also, as much as I love to cuddle when we're awake, neither one of us like to touch when we're sleeping so having a big bed is nice.
  • noirnatural
    noirnatural Posts: 310 Member
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    Hey, at least you wont get pregnant. Also, he's gay.

    :noway:
  • imthelobster
    imthelobster Posts: 179 Member
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    Oh you just need what my wife and I have - MEGABED.

    It's a Twin and a Queen pushed together. (I get the twin of course). The extra space means no blankie stealing or accidental "wolverine having a bad dream about the war" impaling. If one of us has a restless night the other doesn't get affected. I get to have my firm mattress, she gets to have her weird all-engulfing soft white blood cell type thing.

    And best of all, wanna cuddle... you can just roll right over across the gap and do so.

    That sounds like an excellent plan! My SO and I had to get a memory foam king size, because of how much she wiggles around and such, and I need my space!

    Anyway, I don't think that not sharing a bed is particularly weird, a lot of people just need their space and/or don't like getting woken up by snoring, restlessness, being kicked/punched, etc.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    If he's denying you intimacy, then there is a definite problem and I'd run. The last thing you want to be in a sexless marriage. However, if he just likes sleeping alone, then it's something you have do decide if it 's reason enough to dump him. Does he make you happy in other areas? If so, is this worth ending the relationship for?
  • shesapear
    shesapear Posts: 77 Member
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    lol sometimes its been so hot at night that i wear nothing! he knows it but doesn't seem to care :I

    :noway: you are naked and he still doesn't want to sleep in the same bed??!!! Honey...that's what we call a red flag.

    **THIS***
  • SithZombie
    SithZombie Posts: 165 Member
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    What?! A man that doesn't require using breasts as pillows at night?! I just bought a California King and my husband still insists on cuddling or at least holding my hand at night....What reason is your man giving you for not wanting to sleep in the same bed?!

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