Talk about a slap in the face. Motivation depleted.

I hope he's now your ex boyfriend. What a mean thing to say to someone!

Agreed

He was just being honest.
Most guys would never do that. Use this as a way to set goals and strive for your own ideal.
Optimal body fat for a lady is around 20%, and as for weight, just fit yourself in the BMI range.
When we are fat, and our SO says we are beautiful, they're lying.
Sometimes the truth hurts, but pain makes us stronger.
The echo chamber will tell you to ditch him but guess what?
Every other guy will feel the same way. They just lie better.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:

I have come to learn this is correct...lol.. my hubby lied well until a few days ago.. glad he was honest though.. I chose to take it as motivation and I want for him to be as proud of his wife as I am of my husband!

I feel sorry for folks whose relationship and attraction is based on such superficiality. Maybe men are using the supposed unattractiveness of their women as an excuse as to why they can't get it up, when in reality it's just their own inadequacy.

For your information, my husband can get it up really well, thank you... Why should I want to look good for my husband? He takes care of himself.. and if you read one of my other posts, you will see that He never once made me feel bad about my weight ever... not even when I was 200+ lbs and he's doing his thing bodybuilding and such... Our relationship is based on so many levels that I believe someone with your mentality couldn't even begin to comprehend... Jerk.

If he gets it up, then he's attracted and it doesn't apply.

This girl is 145 pounds, not 200+. He's either incurably shallow or he's playing mind games with her. At the very least he's monumentally insensitive. Either way, he should be sent packing so he can pursue his unrealistic standards.

Okay so the one thing we all agree on is that this dude's comments are not acceptable... If He isn't happy with her and the SOLE thing he cares about is her looks, then she should probably reconsider the relationship, because as many have pointed out, if he's unattracted to her now looking as good as she does, imagine when she becomes pregnant... She should thank him for being honest not because what he said in regards to her being overweight is true, but because now she knows a little more about the real him and what his real desires are... When you are in a relationship, it's important to know what makes the other happy, just because we are in a commited relationship doesn't mean you should go eat the whole bag of chips or the whole carton of icecream... keeping the other person attracted to oneself is very important in a long term relationship... His choice of words is douchey, but only she knows what he's really like and only she knows if she should dump him or not.. I just don't like telling people to dump or keep people based on 3 paragraphs of a one sided story. Sure he made a jerk *kitten* comment, apparently he usually does... up to her if she chooses to base her whole fitness journey on what he says or on what she truly wants.. my husband isn't the best motivater either, he's the kind to prove everyone wrong when they say he can't or they don't believe in him... I need uplifitng encouragment with an occasional kick in the butt to get moving sometimes... that's why I said I was glad he was honest in regards to the other day... it made me look back in retrospect and appreciate the greatness of a man that I have at my side... physically, mentally and emotionally!

Wow, this turned into kind of a hot button issue.

If this many strangers are up in arms about what he said, I can only imagine how it felt for you to hear it.

I'm hoping you don't waste too much time on him. There's plenty of guys out there who'd jump at the chance to be with someone so gorgeous.

Love is a funny thing -- so it be attracted to someone. He obviously doesn't love you to say such a horrid thing. You deserve to be supported and felt loved through whatever you endeavour. make a decision that you feel comfortable with but most of all make sure you don't feel de-valued. Be proud of yourself, don't put up with crap - life is too short.

Good luck.

I think the problem here is that she isn't even big. If he sees her as so big that she is not attractive now, she will never be good enough.

If you are overweight, it's a pretty safe assumption that your spouse would find you more attractive if you were slim. You don't need to ask, and they don't need to say it. I know my husband is still attracted to me, I can tell in the way he touches and desires me and gets turned on when seeing me undressing. But I am a bit too big and I know he would find me more attractive if I lost some weight. key word is MORE...not attractive, finally. Most men would not be turned on by nude pics of me right now, they are probably gross, but he still wants them, bc he loves me, so he finds me attractive.

You are exactly correct. I actually weigh slightly less than my girlfriend now. She rocks my world. She would like to lose some weight but has a mental block since she can't imagine herself thinner. It doesn't matter to me and I've made that very clear. I like her curves. I'm also not a shallow jerk. I'm a lover of women, all kinds.

Based on your pics, I think you have a fantastic body, and any guy would be lucky to date you. What an epic douche. If my guy ever told me he wasn't attracted to me because of my weight, I'd say sweet, don't bother having any more sex with me then.... wouldn't want to put a strain on your delicate sensibilities!

I just read the second pargraph again.... Thats his exact wording?

I think its good to find somebody not just attracted to you by your weight. What did he say there? Read the second paragraph again. I think its good find someone who loves you for who you are, and not just your body size. Because our body sizes are just going to change over time. Thats a fact. I know its hard sometimes for our partners to word everything just right. So it doesn't hurt our feelings, because alot of us are sensitive to this subject. Do you think you have alot of potential? Were you thinner when you were younger? I might be the only one here thats not going to tell you to break up with him. Why don't you talk to him, and tell him how you took what he said. You have a few months to toss this around in your head. And maybe you can decide later if you need to upgrade the man situation.

You want his exact wording? LOL okay.. pretty much verbatim

Him: "Promise you don't get mad at me for what I am about to say."

Me: "Okay. say it"

Him: "I hope you lose the weight. I am not always that attracted to you, and when I see the american flag bikini picture in my head, I see the potential you have, and I am really attracted TO THE GIRL IN THAT PICTURE"

I capitalized the last part because there is no bolding function on here. LOL

I am going to open myself up here.
My wife said the same thing to me just about.
I used it as motivation to reach my fitness goals. And yes, it hurt.
She was just honest.
Should I have divorced her for that?
ABSURD!

Been on my weight-loss journey since May 25th. Almost 2 months in I am bout 6lbs lighter, the difference in inches is minimal and it's hardly noticeable. My boyfriend and I are living 5000 miles away and I am moving back to where he lives at the end of september. My goal was to be down 15-20lbs by September 25th. So about 5 lbs a month. Not too crazy of a goal huh?

Well the BF was here at the beginning of July for 10 days. We were just on the phone and he goes "You have great features, and while I don't find myself attracted to you because of your weight, I do see potential in you and when I see old pictures of you and where you have been, I see that you can be smaller than you are"

I am sorry, but WHAT THE EFF!! I was 17 in those pictures, and while yes I may be a few pounds on the heavy side (I am about 145lbs, ex swimmer so my legs are all muscle, and I carry my weight well.) I am busting a$s, and have been frustrated with my current plateau, but not stressing it too much.

I'm just very upset at the moment. I work out 4-5 days a week, eat relatively healthy (the main change I have done in my diet is to cut out sugary drinks. All I drink is water, green tea and black coffee and also cut down on portion sizes) so I am hoping giving it some more time and upping the intensity of my workouts, I'll bust through this plateau.. but at the same time, what if I'm not able to lose the weight? I don't want to be with someone that no longer finds me attractive because he saw old pictures of me and now "realizes" how "hot" I can be compared to what I look like now.

Sorry it's so long.

If my guy ever told me he wasn't attracted to me because of my weight, I'd say sweet, don't bother having any more sex with me then.... wouldn't want to put a strain on your delicate sensibilities!

*giggle-snort*. Well put.

you don't take that from your boyfriend... disgusting.