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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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Replies

  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you are getting a full 2 hour massage with Helga, a 275lb. woman who also trains as a power lifter -- she likes to make people loose as a goose -- hope you can still walk when she gets done with you.

    I wish my bosses had some brains.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: she does & they are unnaturally appealing to you and you must eat them immediately, because you are a zombie.

    Wish: I had a panic room
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  • mygnsac
    mygnsac Posts: 13,413 Member
    Granted, you are now a skilled sewage worker. The bills are getting paid, but you stink.

    I wish a Genie would grant me three wishes...none of which will result in destroying the economy, or financially or physically harming anyone or anything on Earth.
  • RunTimer
    RunTimer Posts: 9,137 Member
    mygnsac wrote: »
    I wish a Genie would grant me three wishes

    Granted,
    anigif_enhanced-11577-1409689515-12.gif
    Sorry, sounded like you said 3 Witches

    I wish i had cold brew

  • fr3smyl
    fr3smyl Posts: 1,418 Member
    Granted. It was brewed by the witches and cause you to cough up feuds when you laugh.

    I wish my animals would feed themselves.
  • fr3smyl
    fr3smyl Posts: 1,418 Member
    Feuds should be frogs

    I wish my spellchecker wouldn't change my words.
  • softblondechick
    softblondechick Posts: 1,275 Member
    Granted. Your spelling is so awesome the spellchecker went crazy and powered down all of your electronic devices. Fried them to a crisp from the inside. Any time you attempt to spell anything the device will self destruct.

    I wish my cat was a human. He loves me so much.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Granted...your cat turns into a human.......he does love you...but in human form he now roams the streets at night....peeing on everything...humping away and through the day eats live birds and mice ......not to mention that licking himself thing when your parents came to visit...

    I wish.........I could perform real magic
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you can perform real magic but only between you and your Dear Heart.....

    I wish I no longer had to work and could relax and enjoy my days
  • timwaagh
    timwaagh Posts: 15 Member
    you stop working. soon after you become homeless.

    wish all pretty girls wanted me
  • gfox1966
    gfox1966 Posts: 170 Member
    Granted....but now all of thier muscle-head Boyfriends want to have a "word" with you!

    I wish I could turn invisible.
  • aPiratesLife31
    aPiratesLife31 Posts: 1,119 Member
    Granted..But you are placed in the middle of an Interstate

    I wish i could read minds
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Granted all the pretty girls want you...but the not so pretty girls are jealous and plot to poison you...you become paranoid and can't eat or sleep for fear you will be killed...its a miserable life........eventually one of those not so pretty girls runs you down with a bus.... RIP

    I wish....my friends won money and didn't have to work anymore
  • tonybalony01
    tonybalony01 Posts: 613 Member
    Oh, great. Another double whammy.
    @petebostich Granted. You can now read minds, but you cannot shut it off. You are inundated with the constant, incessant random drivel that continuously runs through people's minds. It soon drives you crazy and those nice men in the white suits give you a cool jacket you get to wear and give yourself hugs all day. They check you into a really nice place that has a nice, soft floor and walls. But, hey, that Powerball ticket you bought the other day turns out to be the jackpot winner!
    @slimgirljo15 Granted. But, poor you, @petebostich is your only friend, and the ones in your head don't count.

    I wish I knew more sane people.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: you know a multitude of sane people, which sucks for your new profession, cult leader. You can not raise enough funds to purchase the bunker, guns & kool-aid. Your dream is dead.

    Wish: the apple cart had not turned over
  • ImaWaterBender
    ImaWaterBender Posts: 516 Member
    Granted: The cart stayed upright, but it mowed over five people on it's way down the hill.

    Wish: That my chin would stop sprouting hair.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Granted. ..the hair stops growing on your chin...but its got to grow somewhere...so now your butt has a luxurious pelt... :#

    I wish.....I could go back in time
  • Carpedieznutz
    Carpedieznutz Posts: 1,166 Member
    Granted but as you travel back you grow older while everyone and everything else is younger

    I wish it was Friday afternoon already
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted Friday afternoon to you but no one else. You fail to show up on Friday and you are now jobless.

    I wish traffic would move faster!
  • mygnsac
    mygnsac Posts: 13,413 Member
    Granted, but it moves so fast now no one ever slows down to let you pass or get off the road. You must keep going until you run out of gas, and then the fast moving cars plow into your car. There is a 1000 car pile up and you die a fiery death in the middle of it all.

    I wish someone would give me a 100 million tax-free dollars.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you have been given 100 million dollars tax free, however it's in monopoly money so it really is worthless.

    I wish it was Friday afternoon and I had a long weekend off.
  • tonybalony01
    tonybalony01 Posts: 613 Member
    Granted. It's Friday afternoon, the rain is falling, the wind is blowing, and it's cold outside. Fortunately, you're on your way to the airport to take advantage of the long weekend for your tropical getaway. After boarding the plane you lean back in your seat in first class and let out a nice, long sigh as you start to drift off to sleep. Suddenly, the flight attendant's voice cuts into your revelry and it takes you a while to figure out why it sounds so familiar. Then it dawns on you: that voice sounds just like your alarm clock. Time to wake up, buddy.

    I wish I didn't have to leave the house tonight.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted - you don't need to leave since your on house arrest and must stay in for the next 2 years

    I wish I could get a really great nights sleep
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, great night's sleep on the way. . . . for two minutes. Ha!

    I wish for good weather tomorrow
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Granted, you have some of the worlds best weather for one day, followed by flooding of historic proportions which then freezes over when the deep snows pile up -- having a good day yet???

    I wish my body could run for hours and hours and hours without getting sore and tired.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: it does because your bod has been replaced by an efficient mechanical body, but is controlled by remote by @cblue315 and she has you doing chores, just constantly. But you never get tired. Just really, really bored.

    Wish: to spike the world's coffee this morning
  • mikeshockley
    mikeshockley Posts: 684 Member
    Granted, but it's spiked with arsenic and you're found guilty of mass murder and spend the rest of you life in prison.

    I wish I could rescue every dog that's a stray.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Granted...you rescue every stray....aww crap I can't ruin this...its a nice wish..

    I wish it were in my power to give my friends what they want
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Granted, but all they want is you. Day in Day out they hound you for attention, you get no sleep, no time to rest, or eat or workout. Jo you are such a giving person.

    I wish someone would paint my house for me.
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