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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
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    The guys came back but they bored you to tears

    I wish there were more people in here this morning
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Granted: there are more people in here; here being the inside of the telephone booth. Trying to break the world record, but the door got jammed & now all of these fine people, stacked on one another are running out of air. Who planned this event? Fire them.

    Wish: my bike had streamers
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: there are more people in here; here being the inside of the telephone booth. Trying to break the world record, but the door got jammed & now all of these fine people, stacked on one another are running out of air. Who planned this event? Fire them.

    Wish: my bike had streamers

    Granted. Your bike is festooned with birthday party streamers because you rolled right through a back yard Bday bbq, plowed over the Bday boy, flattened his cake and took down all the decorations as one of your drunken morning bike rides have resulted in catastrophe yet again. But at least you have three new Lego sets ... Once you untangle the gift ribbons from your spokes.

    I wish I hadn't had all that chocolate fondue last night.
  • DrWhoIsYerDad
    DrWhoIsYerDad Posts: 263 Member
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    Granted but they are so long they get stuck in your spokes.

    I wish I had a light sabre.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    DrWhoIsYerDad wrote: »
    Granted but they are so long they get stuck in your spokes.

    I wish I had a light sabre.

    Granted but the first day you have it, it gets jammed. You look down the barrel to see what's wrong ... And it goes off. The force is with you alright.

    I wish I wasn't so sluggish today.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Granted: you are not sluggish, but you are a slug. I just poured on the salt.

    Wish: I could bring the fury
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: you are not sluggish, but you are a slug. I just poured on the salt.

    Wish: I could bring the fury

    Granted wherever you go, you bring a Samuel Jackson Nick Fury action figure which you make speak in a grating baby voice. It makes for awkward moments at events. Especially when you make it spout prophecies about other people's impending demise. You are NOT a hit at cocktail parties.

    I wish my milkshake brought all the girls to the yard.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Granted: it does. You spend hours making shakes for girls who don't appreciate them & basically purge them (on you), cause it's not in their macros. You are wasting your culinary talents. Pity.

    Wish: I could find the ripcord
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: it does. You spend hours making shakes for girls who don't appreciate them & basically purge them (on you), cause it's not in their macros. You are wasting your culinary talents. Pity.

    Wish: I could find the ripcord

    Granted, but you're in the middle of the Intrepid museum and you just deployed a WWII parachute that knocked over a catered table celebrating a military Bday. There birthday cake everywhere and you holding a ripcord. What do to have against cake?

    I wish I wasn't holding this right now.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Granted: you are NOT holding it....together. That is why I am visiting you at the asylum. I will always be your friend, anyway. I will always bring you cake.

    Wish: I had cake
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: you are NOT holding it....together. That is why I am visiting you at the asylum. I will always be your friend, anyway. I will always bring you cake.

    Wish: I had cake

    Granted, you've got the entire band Cake there in your living room. They're performing their hit song "Going the Distance" at full volume and the entourage they have with them is making a mosh pit of your house. It's an epic pit and the damage is impressive. Rock on.

    I wish I had nickel for every time I wound up in an asylum.
  • ejdutton
    ejdutton Posts: 329 Member
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    Granted but you can't work out whilst you're in there.

    I wish my fingers would warm up!
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    ejdutton wrote: »
    Granted but you can't work out whilst you're in there.

    I wish my fingers would warm up!

    Granted, but you're now overwhelmed with the compulsion to soak your fingers into other people's coffee cups. Starbucks has a restraining order out on you.

    I wish my straight jacket came in different colors.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
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    Granted, it is now the coat of many colors. Now the rest of your family sells you as a slave. How do you like that coat now?

    I wish I had someone to shovel all this snow for me.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    cblue315 wrote: »
    Granted, it is now the coat of many colors. Now the rest of your family sells you as a slave. How do you like that coat now?

    I wish I had someone to shovel all this snow for me.

    Granted but they're not quite all there so they shovel the snow into your house. Your first floor is now a winter wonderland in which the neighborhood children all have their snowball fights. Your trapped in your bedroom because it's gonna be a long cold winter.

    I wish yellow snow tasted like lemonade.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Granted: it does, just to you. Your taste buds have been destroyed by swallowing so many bad, horrible words & phrases used to ruin wishes. But it is yellow snow- and it's not lemonade. You have weird cravings, friend.

    Wish: I could get to the next level
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
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    Granted, but as you look down you are plunging toward the ground at 125mph because you let go of your rope!

    I wish I could have recent fantasies come true for a day.
  • tibo1783
    tibo1783 Posts: 2,474 Member
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    granted unfortunately that day is Feb 30th

    I wish i was a Pro NBA player
  • MoriahJN
    MoriahJN Posts: 1,161 Member
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    granted, but you break both legs first game and never play again!

    I wish I could go to culinary school
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
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    Blam! You are there, but your hands get burned really bad by a vat of hot oil, now you have to have someone be your hands.

    I wish I could just have this last 50 pounds gone now.

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