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We broke up because...

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  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
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    Kept insisting I ate off paper plates.
  • jgkoutr
    jgkoutr Posts: 8,105 Member
    edited June 2016
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    The plate in her knee set off my hearing aids
  • Hey_Its_That_One_Guy
    Hey_Its_That_One_Guy Posts: 21,763 Member
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    She would turn up her hearing aids whenever the neighbors were doing it.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    She had selective hearing
  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
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    She kept believing a date for two meant she got to bring a "friend"
  • Jess89000
    Jess89000 Posts: 763 Member
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    She would always make me pay when we went out
  • Hey_Its_That_One_Guy
    Hey_Its_That_One_Guy Posts: 21,763 Member
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    I heard her muttering under her breath that she wanted to "make them pay."
  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
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    She always ordered the most expensive item on the menu, even if she did not like it or was allergic.
  • nitroalley
    nitroalley Posts: 3,599 Member
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    She was a gold digger
  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
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    Kept digging holes
  • jgkoutr
    jgkoutr Posts: 8,105 Member
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    She found out I was hiding bodies
  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
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    Did not understand I would help hiding the bodies
  • jgkoutr
    jgkoutr Posts: 8,105 Member
    edited June 2016
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    She never knew I had no bodies it was just a game
  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
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    Got too upset when I found out I was rotting in prison and there were no bodies!!
  • Hey_Its_That_One_Guy
    Hey_Its_That_One_Guy Posts: 21,763 Member
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    Heard about all the conjugal visits she received when she was incarcerated.
  • jgkoutr
    jgkoutr Posts: 8,105 Member
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    He would never visit ...heard he was busy w the holes
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    She was always mumbling something about her Ex and his ho ho hos!
  • nitroalley
    nitroalley Posts: 3,599 Member
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    She switched teams while in prison
  • Hey_Its_That_One_Guy
    Hey_Its_That_One_Guy Posts: 21,763 Member
    edited June 2016
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    Found his Miley Cyrus collection. I just couldn't look him in the eye after that.
  • nitroalley
    nitroalley Posts: 3,599 Member
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    His moves came at me like a wrecking ball

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