Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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AngryViking1970 wrote: »This morning I was able to put on a shirt that previously was tight. I was super stoked that it was loose and hung straight down from my chest without clinging to my hips or rear end. Then I became depressed because it seriously occurred to me that I've been trying to look like Sponge Bob square pants and walk like a robot my whole life. My mother told me that only *kitten* showed their hips and my step-father told me that only fat slutty *kitten* wiggled when they walked.
I don't wear red either. Even though I love red and I look awesome in red. I am pale skinned, with dark hair and green eyes. I look spectacular in red and I can't wear it because only sluts wear red. I am now upset and pissed off because I know even if I were to buy something that clings in red I probably wouldn't be able to wear it out of the house. I'd be afraid everyone was staring at me for the wrong reasons. I feel pathetic.
Oh, no, no, no to all the bold above. You've got to change that thinking right now! Walk the way you want to walk, wear the colors you want to wear, and whether anyone looks at you or not, who cares?! Ignore it, because unless you directly ask each and every person you'll never know what their intention was nor the meaning behind the look. Irrelevant. This is YOUR life now and your body. Enjoy it, experiment, and find your TRUE style.
That was a really lovely response.
Thank you!0 -
I'm going on a road trip. It is about 3,000 miles in four days of driving with a day of rest in the middle. I'll be in four or five (depending upon route, maybe six, but probably no more than five) states. It is me, a child, two dogs. Taking one kid to grandma/pa and picking up the other. Please wish me safe travels... that's a lot of driving.
Good luck! I wish you safe travels!0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »I'm trying quite hard to not use pregnancy as an excuse to lapse into bad eating habits, but it is HARD. I never had any issue getting plenty of fruit and veg before, but most veg is turning my stomach at the moment. How has mankind evolved to be repulsed by the most healthy of foods at a time you would think good nutrition is critical!? Cheese and crackers and salty, salty crisps on the other hand, I can consume those by the bucket load.
This is probably why prenatal vitamins are important - just saying.
Thankfully I am organised and started taking prenatal vitamins 3 months before we conceived so no worries there. In good food news, I managed to eat a massive bowl of spinach yesterday. It was straight out of my garden, so having washed it myself it somehow felt 'safe' to eat and didn't turn my stomach. Sadly none of my other veggies will be ready to harvest for at least another few weeks. I will have to just keep trying!
Ah, I really want a house with a garden. I want to grow all sorts of lovely eatables. Well done on the spinach, I do like fresh spinach. I still feel like Popeye when I eat it
We basically bought this house because it came with a big garden. Essentially we bought a garden that happened to have a house in it. This is why I've spent the past 18 months doing some serious DIY (and plan on carrying on for at least the next 5 years!). We love our garden, but you really can start small. You can grow lettuces from seed in pots. You won't be self-sufficient, but it's pretty satisfying. I know lots of people who grow herbs in pots too.
That made me smile, yea, I still need to get on the market first. Its just so difficult. We were looking at new build flats the other day. £345,000.00 for a 2 bed room and you have to pay £10,000 for a parking space. £10,000! It's sickening.
Wowsers, are you near London? I'm up in Notts/South Yorkshire and you get a lot more for your pennies here. My house is not very representative of local prices since it was in such a dire state when we bought it, but I'm sure averages are a lot less than 200K (pounds) for a 3 bed semi round here. Not paid attention for the past 18 months so I could be way off. I'm glad I live somewhere 'cheap'.
Yea, I'm in South East London/Kent. They kind of merge into each other around the M25. I love it here, but the cost of living is through the roof. I think a 3 bed semi here would average around £500,000+ We are looking for a 2 bed terrace house at the moment, but they are around £250,000+. Our neighbor (living with the SO's mum) sold their 2 bed terrace for £320,000 last week.
I can't imagine paying three quarters of a million dollars for a 3 bedroom duplex. It's bad in California, but that's downright insane. Where I am, that would buy you 8 fully detached ones.
... well, that is quite depressing. 8 detached houses? Clearly, I'm in the wrong country.
yes, but there is a world of difference in the construction of houses in the UK and US. When we were in Texas a few years back, looking at houses, we went to a huge lot, which has houses of every shape and size....they get loaded on a flatbed truck and driven to your plot of land. Essentially they were porta-cabins**! Needless to say, we didn't proceed.
**Disclaimer i know its not like that everywhere in America. I just found it amusing
This is true. Correct me if I'm wrong, but most American houses are timber construction aren't they? I remember staying in a holiday house in Florida. It was MASSIVE and beautiful but all wood, which I found really odd considering its kind of hurricaney (yes, hurricaney) in Florida and it felt like it would just... blow away.
It's a safety issue, actually. Masonry homes wouldn't be any more likely to survive high winds, but the flying debris from one does a lot more damage, to people and to other structures.0 -
I'm sitting in a conference listening to my ex-boss stroke his own...ego. Confession: I would really like him to just disappear forever.0
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arditarose wrote: »sigh...When I found that I couldn't eat peanut butter in moderation, and had to get it out of my apartment ASAP, I not only threw it away-I drowned the jar in water first so I wouldn't be tempted...
I can't believe I shared that.
While I understand the "Crack" aspect to PB, I will never support this action. I would of given 30c a day to keep the PB jar alive.
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BOOM! Told ya! I was worried I wouldn't be able to find it @Italian_Buju and @quiksylver296chatterbox3110 wrote: »I'm dreading the day my hubby tries to use my excess tummy skin as a blanket.....yes its getting that bad
Confession: I just spent over an hour going through the first 20+ pages of this thread to find this. I may be a bit pathetic.
I actually remember that now that you quoted it.0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »Accents: in my opinion, small-town Canadians (from anywhere) have a very different accent to city-dwellers and it's very noticeable. I've lived my whole life in urban Alberta and my accent is apparently geographically untraceable (depending on who I'm talking to, I've heard everything from "California" to "oh, were your parents Scandinavian?" to "did you grow up in England?" in my life) but I think there is a very distinct accent for rural Canadians (and, obviously, for French-Canadians and a couple variations for East Coasters too.)
It's not quite the same was what people think of as a "Canadian accent" (which usually sounds more like Minnesota to me when I hear it played for laughs on TV) but it's definitely a thing.
If you want to know what a rural Canadian accent sounds like...
http://youtu.be/F-glHAzXi_M[/embed]
I call that one the "Trailer Park Boys accent". Thanks for sharing.
Rural Manitoba is a little more "nasally" sounding to me.
And I've never said "aboot" for about in my life.
I always thought it sounded more like "aboat" anyway.
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Accents: in my opinion, small-town Canadians (from anywhere) have a very different accent to city-dwellers and it's very noticeable. I've lived my whole life in urban Alberta and my accent is apparently geographically untraceable (depending on who I'm talking to, I've heard everything from "California" to "oh, were your parents Scandinavian?" to "did you grow up in England?" in my life) but I think there is a very distinct accent for rural Canadians (and, obviously, for French-Canadians and a couple variations for East Coasters too.)
It's not quite the same was what people think of as a "Canadian accent" (which usually sounds more like Minnesota to me when I hear it played for laughs on TV) but it's definitely a thing.
If you want to know what a rural Canadian accent sounds like...http://youtu.be/F-glHAzXi_M[/embed]
Any Canadians used to watch DeGrassi?? I was obsessed!! Where Drake was little Jimmy before he hit it big. And I know people love to hate him but I will always love the Biebs! Also, all the crap they give Robin about being Canadian in How I Met Your Mother is hilarious- love that show!
I never saw that Degrassi, but I'm obsessed with the original Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High (the ones from the 80s, which played in reruns constantly in my childhood.) An ex-boyfriend gave me the complete box set on DVD years ago and I watch it when I'm sick all the time, haha.0 -
I did go to the gym. Am now home in a foul snappy mood, God knows why.
Oh and I ate two pop tarts on the way home. When I knew the casserole in the slow cooker would be ready. Go me! /Sarcasm0 -
This morning I was able to put on a shirt that previously was tight. I was super stoked that it was loose and hung straight down from my chest without clinging to my hips or rear end. Then I became depressed because it seriously occurred to me that I've been trying to look like Sponge Bob square pants and walk like a robot my whole life. My mother told me that only *kitten* showed their hips and my step-father told me that only fat slutty *kitten* wiggled when they walked.
I don't wear red either. Even though I love red and I look awesome in red. I am pale skinned, with dark hair and green eyes. I look spectacular in red and I can't wear it because only sluts wear red. I am now upset and pissed off because I know even if I were to buy something that clings in red I probably wouldn't be able to wear it out of the house. I'd be afraid everyone was staring at me for the wrong reasons. I feel pathetic.
I HAD to say something to this. My mom was not quite so extreme but really had a problem with my wiggly walk and wanted me always wearing clothes that were so big that they hid I had a figure. Turns out I've had a wiggly walk since I could walk. Yes, little two year old me had a sway and a wiggly in my walk. She tried and tried to retrain me...but I was built that way. My walk wiggled. Still does. It does not matter if I'm at my leanest or my non-leanest, I wiggle. I can guarantee I'm not a slut (but so what if I was?) I love my walk, it is just how I'm built and the way my body moves. I also have a traditional curvy hourglass figure with equal curves up front and behind with a nice waist in the middle. It is not perfect (at all) but I have a beautiful body and I love it, I even kind of like my flaws now. I'm short (4'11") so I can easily hide those curves under clothes, but I can also go all out knockout if/when I want to do so. I am casual or professional at work. I accentuate (very tastefully) those curves when I'm out with my SO.
There is NOTHING wrong with being as vibrant and beautiful and attractive and comfortable in your own skin as you want to be. You get to choose. Really. This is your life and you are in charge of it. Full charge. All yours!
I wear colors. (My mom's sisters actually had an intervention with her 20 years ago after she had a decade of wearing nothing but beige). I wear neutrals. I wear what I want to wear when I want to wear it. I don't dress inappropriately, in fact I dress very professionally much of the time and am only sloppy when I'm in my gardening/working on the house clothes. I love little sundresses and wear them at times when other people wear yoga pants or sweats. I grocery shop, run errands, etc. in sundresses. I have seen some women (just a few and my mother is one of them) want me to wear oversize clothes to hide that I am attractive. So, although not so extreme, I understand what your parents were like. It did not stick from my mom to me. I did go through a period in my early twenties where I did wear short and tight (pushing the limits of good taste -- leaving the limits of good taste, but I was in my twenties in Hollywood and I needed that exploration time.)
Please give yourself permission to be as sexy and vibrant and attractive as you want to be and get there at whatever pace you wish to get there. Red is a powerful color. Try adding more of it into your life. Maybe start with a pink or orange. Allow yourself to be relaxed and walk naturally, whether it is wiggly or not - just a walk with no meaning behind it. I know it is hard to move past some of these early messages even when intellectually we know that they are wrong. You have the people of this thread behind you cheering you on.
Unfortunately many of us have people in our lives who would rather pull us down rather than build us up. Live loudly, live boldly, live being true to yourself and who you really are and enjoy the profound happiness of being alive!
Confession: I have dealt with most of the issues relating to my mom but occasionally new ones pop up.0 -
Thank you! Muchas gracious for all the safe travel plans. I'm doing my last minute preparations. I will be as safe as I can possibly be. I've driven this before but it has been a few years. Thanks you wonderful people.0
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This morning I was able to put on a shirt that previously was tight. I was super stoked that it was loose and hung straight down from my chest without clinging to my hips or rear end. Then I became depressed because it seriously occurred to me that I've been trying to look like Sponge Bob square pants and walk like a robot my whole life. My mother told me that only *kitten* showed their hips and my step-father told me that only fat slutty *kitten* wiggled when they walked.
I don't wear red either. Even though I love red and I look awesome in red. I am pale skinned, with dark hair and green eyes. I look spectacular in red and I can't wear it because only sluts wear red. I am now upset and pissed off because I know even if I were to buy something that clings in red I probably wouldn't be able to wear it out of the house. I'd be afraid everyone was staring at me for the wrong reasons. I feel pathetic.
Oh, no, no, no to all the bold above. You've got to change that thinking right now! Walk the way you want to walk, wear the colors you want to wear, and whether anyone looks at you or not, who cares?! Ignore it, because unless you directly ask each and every person you'll never know what their intention was nor the meaning behind the look. Irrelevant. This is YOUR life now and your body. Enjoy it, experiment, and find your TRUE style.
Thank you. I am hoping that with this realization that I can work towards changing some of it, but I do know it'll be hard. I don't need to hear other people's nasty when my over active brain can supply it for them all on it's own.
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Any Canadians used to watch DeGrassi?? I was obsessed!! Where Drake was little Jimmy before he hit it big. And I know people love to hate him but I will always love the Biebs! Also, all the crap they give Robin about being Canadian in How I Met Your Mother is hilarious- love that show!
Yeah... but I watched the original DeGrassi back in the late 70s? early 80s? Since you're so much younger, I'm assuming you're referring to the remake... or possibly reruns.Yes, that is pretty much what I do. Pretty much all of my clothing is a shade of black or grey with some blue jeans thrown in.
Well, I'm 51 and just starting to wear colourful patterns... don't wait as long as I did!
Think I branched out from the sea of neutrals with some turquoise and teals... I love shades of blue so I kept being drawn to blue clothing.
Maybe find yourself a pretty scarf in that flattering shade of red and start wearing it regularly. You can always take it off and stuff it in a pocket if you suddenly start feeling too "vulgar".0 -
Accents: in my opinion, small-town Canadians (from anywhere) have a very different accent to city-dwellers and it's very noticeable. I've lived my whole life in urban Alberta and my accent is apparently geographically untraceable (depending on who I'm talking to, I've heard everything from "California" to "oh, were your parents Scandinavian?" to "did you grow up in England?" in my life) but I think there is a very distinct accent for rural Canadians (and, obviously, for French-Canadians and a couple variations for East Coasters too.)
It's not quite the same was what people think of as a "Canadian accent" (which usually sounds more like Minnesota to me when I hear it played for laughs on TV) but it's definitely a thing.
If you want to know what a rural Canadian accent sounds like...http://youtu.be/F-glHAzXi_M[/embed]
Any Canadians used to watch DeGrassi?? I was obsessed!! Where Drake was little Jimmy before he hit it big. And I know people love to hate him but I will always love the Biebs! Also, all the crap they give Robin about being Canadian in How I Met Your Mother is hilarious- love that show!
I never saw that Degrassi, but I'm obsessed with the original Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High (the ones from the 80s, which played in reruns constantly in my childhood.) An ex-boyfriend gave me the complete box set on DVD years ago and I watch it when I'm sick all the time, haha.
YESS DEGRASSIIII! My step-dad worked the lighting on the show when I was young so I got to be on set occasionally, which leads me to say that Drake is AWESOME. Or well was, I dunno but he humoured little me so he's good in my books haha0 -
It's been gross and rainy the past few days, I didn't get my run in and I've been having a horrible day. I am in a foul foul mood, I won't be home until 7ish and I HAVE to run before the end of the night. Hrmph.0
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Xandersmommy wrote: »My confession is the other night, before I started back on MFP, I had 2 JTM philly hoagies, and added a ton of extra cheese.... That meal alone was over 1600 cals. I was appauled with myself and cried like a baby.
I don't know if it will help you to feel any better about it, but a lot of people have done and will do things like that. You're definitely not alone. It happened, you even had a great cry over it and now it is done. You can totally get past it.
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MissLaaber wrote: »Accents: in my opinion, small-town Canadians (from anywhere) have a very different accent to city-dwellers and it's very noticeable. I've lived my whole life in urban Alberta and my accent is apparently geographically untraceable (depending on who I'm talking to, I've heard everything from "California" to "oh, were your parents Scandinavian?" to "did you grow up in England?" in my life) but I think there is a very distinct accent for rural Canadians (and, obviously, for French-Canadians and a couple variations for East Coasters too.)
It's not quite the same was what people think of as a "Canadian accent" (which usually sounds more like Minnesota to me when I hear it played for laughs on TV) but it's definitely a thing.
If you want to know what a rural Canadian accent sounds like...http://youtu.be/F-glHAzXi_M[/embed]
Any Canadians used to watch DeGrassi?? I was obsessed!! Where Drake was little Jimmy before he hit it big. And I know people love to hate him but I will always love the Biebs! Also, all the crap they give Robin about being Canadian in How I Met Your Mother is hilarious- love that show!
I never saw that Degrassi, but I'm obsessed with the original Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High (the ones from the 80s, which played in reruns constantly in my childhood.) An ex-boyfriend gave me the complete box set on DVD years ago and I watch it when I'm sick all the time, haha.
YESS DEGRASSIIII! My step-dad worked the lighting on the show when I was young so I got to be on set occasionally, which leads me to say that Drake is AWESOME. Or well was, I dunno but he humoured little me so he's good in my books haha
That's the one I don't know! I only know the low-budget ones with the "Wake up in the morning, feelin' shy and lonely, gee I gotta go to school..." theme song and Joey Jeremiah playing keyboards in the Zit Remedy and Shane getting Spike pregnant and those stupid twins. All I know about the remake is that Drake used to play a character people refer to as "wheelchair Jimmy."0 -
I couldn't read those posts either. I actually hugged my dog this morning and said out loud- thank you for not eating poop. hahaha!!
Sorry! I was one of those telling the gross stories!
But, I always did the same thing when I got home from working at the doggie daycare because my dog never ate it. I was always so thankful!
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3 of the swimsuits and the swimsuit cover came from Amazon yesterday. As soon as I walked in the door, I was asked to "model" them.
The first one I tried on barley covered my nipples and I feared my boob would pop out if I made any sudden movements. It was a really cute navy with white polka dots suit and it was my husband's favorite.
The second one was just like the one I found on Anthropologie's website, but it was a lot less expensive. I shimmied into it and had him tie the halter. It fit perfectly and made my butt look amazing. I was really excited.
The third one was a little strange. It was like a mini dress with a bikini bottom attached. The back was really cute and when I pulled the skirt down a little bit, it made my butt look amazing. The top where the two cups met was a little messed up or I probably would have kept it.
I am due to get the final one today. I am most excited about it. I hope this works. http://www.amazon.com/Cocoship-Vintage-Monokinis-Halter-Swimsuit/dp/B00TI5BMYG/ref=pd_sim_193_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1ZWTW24XMYZ5XAWWN296
My husband also said he was going to buy me another swimsuit cover.
Every day I get a little bit more excited about our trip. Especially now that I have at least one really cute swimsuit.
Oh my, I want! That is so cute!! I wonder if I can get that in England?
Edit: And of course the one your husband liked was the most revealing
He was looking at string bikinis last night. I think he's a little confused as to what my body ACTUALLY looks like. I definitely DON'T have a "bikini body". At least not yet, anyway.
I've always thought if you have a body and you have a bikini, then you have a bikini body.
He must feel the same way. I'm just too self-conscious to wear one. Maybe since we'll be where we won't know anyone, I can try to be a little less inhibited. I don't know. I'm really embarrassed by my flabby stretch mark laden stomach.
I think you should! Get a fun, flowy sarong to tie around your waist. Oh, and fun shoes, too. Having a whole outfit you feel fabulous in is the key. You're going somewhere new, so be someone new, right?
Ya know what?! I think I will! I love how awesome you all are. I can't wait to come back with pics for you all. I will miss you terribly, but I will enjoy time with just my husband and myself and ZERO responsibilities. I CANNOT WAIT!!!
Yayyyy!! That sounds like a blast!0 -
Accents: in my opinion, small-town Canadians (from anywhere) have a very different accent to city-dwellers and it's very noticeable. I've lived my whole life in urban Alberta and my accent is apparently geographically untraceable (depending on who I'm talking to, I've heard everything from "California" to "oh, were your parents Scandinavian?" to "did you grow up in England?" in my life) but I think there is a very distinct accent for rural Canadians (and, obviously, for French-Canadians and a couple variations for East Coasters too.)
It's not quite the same was what people think of as a "Canadian accent" (which usually sounds more like Minnesota to me when I hear it played for laughs on TV) but it's definitely a thing.
If you want to know what a rural Canadian accent sounds like...http://youtu.be/F-glHAzXi_M[/embed]
Any Canadians used to watch DeGrassi?? I was obsessed!! Where Drake was little Jimmy before he hit it big. And I know people love to hate him but I will always love the Biebs! Also, all the crap they give Robin about being Canadian in How I Met Your Mother is hilarious- love that show!
I never saw that Degrassi, but I'm obsessed with the original Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High (the ones from the 80s, which played in reruns constantly in my childhood.) An ex-boyfriend gave me the complete box set on DVD years ago and I watch it when I'm sick all the time, haha.
I've seen one of those I can't remember which all I remember is A LOT of stonewashed denim! And also a lot of the junior high kids are in the new Degrassi as parents/teachers/principals and such!0 -
MissLaaber wrote: »Accents: in my opinion, small-town Canadians (from anywhere) have a very different accent to city-dwellers and it's very noticeable. I've lived my whole life in urban Alberta and my accent is apparently geographically untraceable (depending on who I'm talking to, I've heard everything from "California" to "oh, were your parents Scandinavian?" to "did you grow up in England?" in my life) but I think there is a very distinct accent for rural Canadians (and, obviously, for French-Canadians and a couple variations for East Coasters too.)
It's not quite the same was what people think of as a "Canadian accent" (which usually sounds more like Minnesota to me when I hear it played for laughs on TV) but it's definitely a thing.
If you want to know what a rural Canadian accent sounds like...http://youtu.be/F-glHAzXi_M[/embed]
Any Canadians used to watch DeGrassi?? I was obsessed!! Where Drake was little Jimmy before he hit it big. And I know people love to hate him but I will always love the Biebs! Also, all the crap they give Robin about being Canadian in How I Met Your Mother is hilarious- love that show!
I never saw that Degrassi, but I'm obsessed with the original Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High (the ones from the 80s, which played in reruns constantly in my childhood.) An ex-boyfriend gave me the complete box set on DVD years ago and I watch it when I'm sick all the time, haha.
YESS DEGRASSIIII! My step-dad worked the lighting on the show when I was young so I got to be on set occasionally, which leads me to say that Drake is AWESOME. Or well was, I dunno but he humoured little me so he's good in my books haha
That's the one I don't know! I only know the low-budget ones with the "Wake up in the morning, feelin' shy and lonely, gee I gotta go to school..." theme song and Joey Jeremiah playing keyboards in the Zit Remedy and Shane getting Spike pregnant and those stupid twins. All I know about the remake is that Drake used to play a character people refer to as "wheelchair Jimmy."
Yep- Joey Jeremiah, Shane and Spike are all in the newer show as parents!0 -
MissLaaber wrote: »It's been gross and rainy the past few days, I didn't get my run in and I've been having a horrible day. I am in a foul foul mood, I won't be home until 7ish and I HAVE to run before the end of the night. Hrmph.
Preach!0 -
This morning I was able to put on a shirt that previously was tight. I was super stoked that it was loose and hung straight down from my chest without clinging to my hips or rear end. Then I became depressed because it seriously occurred to me that I've been trying to look like Sponge Bob square pants and walk like a robot my whole life. My mother told me that only *kitten* showed their hips and my step-father told me that only fat slutty *kitten* wiggled when they walked.
I don't wear red either. Even though I love red and I look awesome in red. I am pale skinned, with dark hair and green eyes. I look spectacular in red and I can't wear it because only sluts wear red. I am now upset and pissed off because I know even if I were to buy something that clings in red I probably wouldn't be able to wear it out of the house. I'd be afraid everyone was staring at me for the wrong reasons. I feel pathetic.
Oh, no, no, no to all the bold above. You've got to change that thinking right now! Walk the way you want to walk, wear the colors you want to wear, and whether anyone looks at you or not, who cares?! Ignore it, because unless you directly ask each and every person you'll never know what their intention was nor the meaning behind the look. Irrelevant. This is YOUR life now and your body. Enjoy it, experiment, and find your TRUE style.
Thank you. I am hoping that with this realization that I can work towards changing some of it, but I do know it'll be hard. I don't need to hear other people's nasty when my over active brain can supply it for them all on it's own.
I hear ya, I have the same negative parental tapes playing in my head... tapes that I've multiplied and embellished over the years with new negative material.
When you start hearing the thoughts, recognize the source as old, outdated and incorrect and push Stop. Replace with either logic to debunk it or a simple positive affirmation. (This takes practice)0 -
this was a double post, who knows why! Hm Confession for the day...I think I'll eat an almond chocolate bar and not log...whoops!0
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This morning I was able to put on a shirt that previously was tight. I was super stoked that it was loose and hung straight down from my chest without clinging to my hips or rear end. Then I became depressed because it seriously occurred to me that I've been trying to look like Sponge Bob square pants and walk like a robot my whole life. My mother told me that only *kitten* showed their hips and my step-father told me that only fat slutty *kitten* wiggled when they walked.
I don't wear red either. Even though I love red and I look awesome in red. I am pale skinned, with dark hair and green eyes. I look spectacular in red and I can't wear it because only sluts wear red. I am now upset and pissed off because I know even if I were to buy something that clings in red I probably wouldn't be able to wear it out of the house. I'd be afraid everyone was staring at me for the wrong reasons. I feel pathetic.
I HAD to say something to this. My mom was not quite so extreme but really had a problem with my wiggly walk and wanted me always wearing clothes that were so big that they hid I had a figure. Turns out I've had a wiggly walk since I could walk. Yes, little two year old me had a sway and a wiggly in my walk. She tried and tried to retrain me...but I was built that way. My walk wiggled. Still does. It does not matter if I'm at my leanest or my non-leanest, I wiggle. I can guarantee I'm not a slut (but so what if I was?) I love my walk, it is just how I'm built and the way my body moves. I also have a traditional curvy hourglass figure with equal curves up front and behind with a nice waist in the middle. It is not perfect (at all) but I have a beautiful body and I love it, I even kind of like my flaws now. I'm short (4'11") so I can easily hide those curves under clothes, but I can also go all out knockout if/when I want to do so. I am casual or professional at work. I accentuate (very tastefully) those curves when I'm out with my SO.
There is NOTHING wrong with being as vibrant and beautiful and attractive and comfortable in your own skin as you want to be. You get to choose. Really. This is your life and you are in charge of it. Full charge. All yours!
I wear colors. (My mom's sisters actually had an intervention with her 20 years ago after she had a decade of wearing nothing but beige). I wear neutrals. I wear what I want to wear when I want to wear it. I don't dress inappropriately, in fact I dress very professionally much of the time and am only sloppy when I'm in my gardening/working on the house clothes. I love little sundresses and wear them at times when other people wear yoga pants or sweats. I grocery shop, run errands, etc. in sundresses. I have seen some women (just a few and my mother is one of them) want me to wear oversize clothes to hide that I am attractive. So, although not so extreme, I understand what your parents were like. It did not stick from my mom to me. I did go through a period in my early twenties where I did wear short and tight (pushing the limits of good taste -- leaving the limits of good taste, but I was in my twenties in Hollywood and I needed that exploration time.)
Please give yourself permission to be as sexy and vibrant and attractive as you want to be and get there at whatever pace you wish to get there. Red is a powerful color. Try adding more of it into your life. Maybe start with a pink or orange. Allow yourself to be relaxed and walk naturally, whether it is wiggly or not - just a walk with no meaning behind it. I know it is hard to move past some of these early messages even when intellectually we know that they are wrong. You have the people of this thread behind you cheering you on.
Unfortunately many of us have people in our lives who would rather pull us down rather than build us up. Live loudly, live boldly, live being true to yourself and who you really are and enjoy the profound happiness of being alive!
Confession: I have dealt with most of the issues relating to my mom but occasionally new ones pop up.
Thank you! You're all making me feel really supported and I appreciate it. I am still socially awkward so I don't know if that is coming across in my return messages, but honestly, I really do appreciate all the kind words and thoughts.
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This morning I was able to put on a shirt that previously was tight. I was super stoked that it was loose and hung straight down from my chest without clinging to my hips or rear end. Then I became depressed because it seriously occurred to me that I've been trying to look like Sponge Bob square pants and walk like a robot my whole life. My mother told me that only *kitten* showed their hips and my step-father told me that only fat slutty *kitten* wiggled when they walked.
I don't wear red either. Even though I love red and I look awesome in red. I am pale skinned, with dark hair and green eyes. I look spectacular in red and I can't wear it because only sluts wear red. I am now upset and pissed off because I know even if I were to buy something that clings in red I probably wouldn't be able to wear it out of the house. I'd be afraid everyone was staring at me for the wrong reasons. I feel pathetic.
I HAD to say something to this. My mom was not quite so extreme but really had a problem with my wiggly walk and wanted me always wearing clothes that were so big that they hid I had a figure. Turns out I've had a wiggly walk since I could walk. Yes, little two year old me had a sway and a wiggly in my walk. She tried and tried to retrain me...but I was built that way. My walk wiggled. Still does. It does not matter if I'm at my leanest or my non-leanest, I wiggle. I can guarantee I'm not a slut (but so what if I was?) I love my walk, it is just how I'm built and the way my body moves. I also have a traditional curvy hourglass figure with equal curves up front and behind with a nice waist in the middle. It is not perfect (at all) but I have a beautiful body and I love it, I even kind of like my flaws now. I'm short (4'11") so I can easily hide those curves under clothes, but I can also go all out knockout if/when I want to do so. I am casual or professional at work. I accentuate (very tastefully) those curves when I'm out with my SO.
There is NOTHING wrong with being as vibrant and beautiful and attractive and comfortable in your own skin as you want to be. You get to choose. Really. This is your life and you are in charge of it. Full charge. All yours!
I wear colors. (My mom's sisters actually had an intervention with her 20 years ago after she had a decade of wearing nothing but beige). I wear neutrals. I wear what I want to wear when I want to wear it. I don't dress inappropriately, in fact I dress very professionally much of the time and am only sloppy when I'm in my gardening/working on the house clothes. I love little sundresses and wear them at times when other people wear yoga pants or sweats. I grocery shop, run errands, etc. in sundresses. I have seen some women (just a few and my mother is one of them) want me to wear oversize clothes to hide that I am attractive. So, although not so extreme, I understand what your parents were like. It did not stick from my mom to me. I did go through a period in my early twenties where I did wear short and tight (pushing the limits of good taste -- leaving the limits of good taste, but I was in my twenties in Hollywood and I needed that exploration time.)
Please give yourself permission to be as sexy and vibrant and attractive as you want to be and get there at whatever pace you wish to get there. Red is a powerful color. Try adding more of it into your life. Maybe start with a pink or orange. Allow yourself to be relaxed and walk naturally, whether it is wiggly or not - just a walk with no meaning behind it. I know it is hard to move past some of these early messages even when intellectually we know that they are wrong. You have the people of this thread behind you cheering you on.
Unfortunately many of us have people in our lives who would rather pull us down rather than build us up. Live loudly, live boldly, live being true to yourself and who you really are and enjoy the profound happiness of being alive!
Confession: I have dealt with most of the issues relating to my mom but occasionally new ones pop up.
Thank you! You're all making me feel really supported and I appreciate it. I am still socially awkward so I don't know if that is coming across in my return messages, but honestly, I really do appreciate all the kind words and thoughts.
No it doesn't come across like that in your messages at all! I say I'm socially awkward too but in a different way I tend to get in people's personal space
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Glinda1971 wrote: »Accents: in my opinion, small-town Canadians (from anywhere) have a very different accent to city-dwellers and it's very noticeable. I've lived my whole life in urban Alberta and my accent is apparently geographically untraceable (depending on who I'm talking to, I've heard everything from "California" to "oh, were your parents Scandinavian?" to "did you grow up in England?" in my life) but I think there is a very distinct accent for rural Canadians (and, obviously, for French-Canadians and a couple variations for East Coasters too.)
It's not quite the same was what people think of as a "Canadian accent" (which usually sounds more like Minnesota to me when I hear it played for laughs on TV) but it's definitely a thing.
If you want to know what a rural Canadian accent sounds like...http://youtu.be/F-glHAzXi_M[/embed]
I call that one the "Trailer Park Boys accent". Thanks for sharing.
Rural Manitoba is a little more "nasally" sounding to me.
And I've never said "aboot" for about in my life.
I always thought it sounded more like "aboat" anyway.
I agree. I went on a site visit in the GTA last year and a woman was telling us about what the were doing, she said they went out to get samples in a boat - I was waiting for the timeframe in which they'd done the sampling, but then realised she'd finished the sentence and they just went out in a boat.
Edited because for some reason it included my last post too!0 -
Arg.
I confess that I've been fighting getting readers for a few months now. About a year ago it was like a switch got flipped in my head. I suddenly couldn't read magazines, ingredients on packaging, and audits at work were giving me headaches.
Soooo I finally went and bought some $20 Foster Grant readers at the store...and it makes all the difference in the world. DAMMIT.
I had 20/16 vision growing up & through adulthood, but now at age 46 it's official...I'm the reader-perched-on-the-head-guy.
DAMMIT0 -
When he was looking at bikini tops, I would say things like, "Now, you know, my boobs won't look anything like that?!" and, "All these women have big fake boobs and round butts, so of course it looks good on them!" He wasn't hearing it. I finally said, "Okay. I'll tell you what, if you buy a bikini, I'll wear it." I should have thought a little more before opening my mouth.
Those words will never leave my mouth because 1) 51 *sigh* 2) we never vacation anywhere that a bikini would be even remotely appropriate, even on a youngster and 3) there are about 10 days a year here where it would be warm enough to wear one without a cardigan.0 -
@nonoelmo, thank you! That was a thoughtful, informative response. LOVE the support and shared experiences on this thread. I learn something new here every day.0
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