Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »Oh and I forgot the most random thing that happened- since I started losing the weight, when I went in to my doctor, I found out my height increased from 5'4 to 5'4.5. Doc said when you lose weight your spine can decompress/you stand up straighter from strengthening back muscles etc. I'll take it. At my very heaviest I was 5'3.5, so technically now I'm an inch taller!
I've always wanted to be like 5'10. I'm so jealous of tall women, so gaining even an inch has me thrilled lol
Wow, that's really interesting! So your feet get smaller and you get taller? I feel like we are turning into worms...
Yeah I'm a mess. I have weird physical things going on.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Today's confession: As you all might know (due to all the food-related confessions I've been dumping in here...), I've gained quite a bit of weight over my low weight since March. I've gained about 10 kilos, to put a number on it, and I'm just getting back on the wagon. :-/
So, after two days eating under my goal, here's how today's weigh-in went: I went to pee (of course), then hopped on the scale in my underclothes. I got a 70.0 and I thought to myself, "I am SO CLOSE to breaking into the 60s again!" This in mind, I became a little bit desperate. So, I turned to my husband and said... "You know what? I'm going to try to pee some more."
He, of course, stared at me like I was crazy. "How in the world do you pee some more?!" I ignored him and went to attempt it, not that it was particularly successful... Is this TMI?
Afterwards, I stripped down and weighed without my underclothes to get rid of every gram of extra weight that I could possibly shed. The scale was kind and measured me at 69.9. So then I go... "YAY! I BROKE INTO THE SIXTIES AGAIN! BOOYAH!" It counts, right?
That totally counts. I can see myself doing that if the scale gets shows 190.2 or something.0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »It is almost midnight and I am waiting for my son to get home from work so I can go to bed.
The sad dad stories really got to me today.
When my dad died he was shoveling the drive way and had a heart attack. A neighbor found him. He drove me to school that morning (I was 15), when he did not pick me up, I called, and a cop answered the phone and told me he had died and to come home right away. I actually told the cop that he usually picked me up from school at the other end of town, and I did not know how to get home. His reply was that they would be there when I got there.
I ran back in the school and had a teacher drive me home. Later that day, when I went outside, his hat, eye glasses, blood and vomit were all over the drive way.
At the funeral, in true 'mother' style, she caused a big scene and picked him up out of the casket....I will never forget the crude autopsy scar on the back of his head.
I do not think I will ever fully get over that.
OMG, how absolutely awful. I'm so sorry.
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Seriously, why does MFP take me to the last post of the page instead of the first non read post? This is making me very annoyed.
*still PMSing*
Also getting annoyed at what people post as their dinner sometimes, or when someone says that two eggs on toast or one serving of oatmeal 'fills them up until lunch'. I must really not be normal, but most of what fills people up for hours would maybe keep me satisfied for 2 hours. Maybe. So sometimes I just think I'm not normal and I'll just never manage to maintain my weight.
i am totally this way too. it's a rare occasion when i feel totally "satisfied." what drives me nuts is when i eat something i KNOW should be enough...yet i still feel hungry. it's maddening.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »My rodent is looking rather poor today....he is so skinny and was making a funny noise today when I was holding him. He spends all day in a puff ball in his cage with his head down, this is also what the other one did in the days before he died....I do not think it is gonna be much longer now....I am heartbroken.
Poor Little Rodent Boy. Since it seems all hope is lost, I hope he goes peacefully and painlessly.
I'm sorry about your dad, those sound like particularly horrifying memories. If you were only 15 he must have been a fairly young man at the time.
Thank you, I hope he does too.....or gets better, but that is looking less and less likely.....
Actually, he had me REALLY late.....he was 52 when I was born, and I was his only child....he was 68 when he died....which is not terribly old....but after 18 years with my mother, he prob aged at twice the rate
Growing up, my father was actually older than a lot of my friends grandparents.....
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Today is a bit of a roller coaster for me. I woke to find out that a dear friend had passed away. She was only 46 and from what I know had had a massive heart attack over the weekend. She has three young children. You never know when....
On the other side, my four year old has already started with the tooth loss. She had her first tooth come out this morning. So I am happy for her in this step in her development, but I am also very sad about my friend.
I am so sorry about your friend.....0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Today's confession: As you all might know (due to all the food-related confessions I've been dumping in here...), I've gained quite a bit of weight over my low weight since March. I've gained about 10 kilos, to put a number on it, and I'm just getting back on the wagon. :-/
So, after two days eating under my goal, here's how today's weigh-in went: I went to pee (of course), then hopped on the scale in my underclothes. I got a 70.0 and I thought to myself, "I am SO CLOSE to breaking into the 60s again!" This in mind, I became a little bit desperate. So, I turned to my husband and said... "You know what? I'm going to try to pee some more."
He, of course, stared at me like I was crazy. "How in the world do you pee some more?!" I ignored him and went to attempt it, not that it was particularly successful... Is this TMI?
Afterwards, I stripped down and weighed without my underclothes to get rid of every gram of extra weight that I could possibly shed. The scale was kind and measured me at 69.9. So then I go... "YAY! I BROKE INTO THE SIXTIES AGAIN! BOOYAH!" It counts, right?
This whole post put a huge smile on my face!!0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »I'm jealous of all you good eyesight people. I've worn glasses/contacts since I was 10. I just had my check-up and I'm at 20/575 now.
I was in the 20/625 range, contacts since age 10, and got lasik. Best $5K I've ever spent. I was in my late 30s when I got it done so they slightly undercorrected one eye to prolong my close vision.Confession: one of my main hesitations to buy reading glasses is that I have an affinity for expensive sunglasses. I wear them all the time and I'm guilty of not taking them off when I'm inside the grocery store or running various errands. Currently, I'm contemplating an awesomely fancy pair of purple Gucci shades that retail for $325.00.
Take those off to put on a pair of readers?! Hell no. I'll stick with my fancy shades and not be able to read. Vain.
I have an affinity for very cheap sunglasses
considering how careless I am with them. I throw them in my purse without a case, they fall on the floor in the car several times a week, I forget they're in a pocket and sit or lean on them.
Yes! There is a particular pair of sunglasses at Target that I have been buying every 4 or 5 months for years. They're perfect and I love them and I am screwed if they ever stop carrying them.
this is why i buy my sunglasses from the dollar tree. they have one perfect pair that i buy about five of every year. i treat them terribly, so i don't even blink when they break or get scratched. just chuck 'em and grab a new pair.0 -
Today is a bit of a roller coaster for me. I woke to find out that a dear friend had passed away. She was only 46 and from what I know had had a massive heart attack over the weekend. She has three young children. You never know when....
On the other side, my four year old has already started with the tooth loss. She had her first tooth come out this morning. So I am happy for her in this step in her development, but I am also very sad about my friend.
So sorry about your friend. hugs
My son is 5 and a half and doesn't even have a loose tooth. My first son lost his first tooth, I think, at 5. the 5 year old is so funny though, his big brother gives him advice on what foods to eat to help loosen his teeth, like apples. It's pretty comical to hear their conversations.
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Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Today's confession: As you all might know (due to all the food-related confessions I've been dumping in here...), I've gained quite a bit of weight over my low weight since March. I've gained about 10 kilos, to put a number on it, and I'm just getting back on the wagon. :-/
So, after two days eating under my goal, here's how today's weigh-in went: I went to pee (of course), then hopped on the scale in my underclothes. I got a 70.0 and I thought to myself, "I am SO CLOSE to breaking into the 60s again!" This in mind, I became a little bit desperate. So, I turned to my husband and said... "You know what? I'm going to try to pee some more."
He, of course, stared at me like I was crazy. "How in the world do you pee some more?!" I ignored him and went to attempt it, not that it was particularly successful... Is this TMI?
Afterwards, I stripped down and weighed without my underclothes to get rid of every gram of extra weight that I could possibly shed. The scale was kind and measured me at 69.9. So then I go... "YAY! I BROKE INTO THE SIXTIES AGAIN! BOOYAH!" It counts, right?
Good for you! I would have done the same thing!!
This whole post put a huge smile on my face!!
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TigerNY128 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Today's confession: As you all might know (due to all the food-related confessions I've been dumping in here...), I've gained quite a bit of weight over my low weight since March. I've gained about 10 kilos, to put a number on it, and I'm just getting back on the wagon. :-/
So, after two days eating under my goal, here's how today's weigh-in went: I went to pee (of course), then hopped on the scale in my underclothes. I got a 70.0 and I thought to myself, "I am SO CLOSE to breaking into the 60s again!" This in mind, I became a little bit desperate. So, I turned to my husband and said... "You know what? I'm going to try to pee some more."
He, of course, stared at me like I was crazy. "How in the world do you pee some more?!" I ignored him and went to attempt it, not that it was particularly successful... Is this TMI?
Afterwards, I stripped down and weighed without my underclothes to get rid of every gram of extra weight that I could possibly shed. The scale was kind and measured me at 69.9. So then I go... "YAY! I BROKE INTO THE SIXTIES AGAIN! BOOYAH!" It counts, right?
Good for you! I would have done the same thing!!
This whole post put a huge smile on my face!!
Ugh messed up the quote.
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My confessions are:
1) Flapjacks are my downfall - I can easily scoff down a whole tub (22 pieces) of 'bitesize' flapjacks in one sitting while telling myself that all those oats are good for me. Sometimes they are my entire dinner.
2) I will happily sit down to watch 'Superfat vs Superskinny' on TV after failing to go to the gym and with a box of chocolates and fully aware of the irony.0 -
Today is a bit of a roller coaster for me. I woke to find out that a dear friend had passed away. She was only 46 and from what I know had had a massive heart attack over the weekend. She has three young children. You never know when....
On the other side, my four year old has already started with the tooth loss. She had her first tooth come out this morning. So I am happy for her in this step in her development, but I am also very sad about my friend.
i'm so sorry for your loss. *hugs*0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »@pofoster21 I thought I woke up early at 5! What time do you get up?
And by the way I HIGHLY recommend Friends (TV show) it's on Netflix now and I've watched the whole series twice! It's just so funny and it always puts me in a good mood if I'm feeling blue
I watch that when I am on the stationary bike & need something to watch:D. My favorite character has to be Chandler for the guys & Phoebe for the girls.
Every time I run I think of the episode where Phoebe and Rachel go running. Someday, I'm just going to run like Phoebe0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »It is almost midnight and I am waiting for my son to get home from work so I can go to bed.
The sad dad stories really got to me today.
When my dad died he was shoveling the drive way and had a heart attack. A neighbor found him. He drove me to school that morning (I was 15), when he did not pick me up, I called, and a cop answered the phone and told me he had died and to come home right away. I actually told the cop that he usually picked me up from school at the other end of town, and I did not know how to get home. His reply was that they would be there when I got there.
I ran back in the school and had a teacher drive me home. Later that day, when I went outside, his hat, eye glasses, blood and vomit were all over the drive way.
At the funeral, in true 'mother' style, she caused a big scene and picked him up out of the casket....I will never forget the crude autopsy scar on the back of his head.
I do not think I will ever fully get over that.
My best girlfriend died two and a half years ago, that was the hardest death I have dealt with other than my father's. Death really sucks!
My rodent is looking rather poor today....he is so skinny and was making a funny noise today when I was holding him. He spends all day in a puff ball in his cage with his head down, this is also what the other one did in the days before he died....I do not think it is gonna be much longer now....I am heartbroken.
On a better note, my sister and her family are coming to visit next month. They live in Indy and I only see them once every couple years......
I am sorry about your dad. That was really rough.
Are you SURE it's not time to euthanize your Degu? Ease his passage to another life?
I was thinking about that last night.....I just do not know what to do...he has periods of time where other than being skinny he seems like he is gonna be fine....and I am so scared to do something like that if he has any chance at all of making it.
This morning when I first got up to make lunch for my son, he was chewing on some wood and even got in his wheel (only for a moment though).....now he is laying down in a corner and did not even get up when I moved his cage back into the living room, which is unusual....I was scared to check if he was breathing, but he is.....
I go back and forth.....half the time I am freaking out and thinking he is ready to go anytime, and then other half the time I think he looks ok......right now I am freaking out, esp as I am ready to leave for work shortly..... wishing you and the lil guy the best 0 -
Me too! Glad you're feeling a little brighter today, Susie. Also, I've done exactly what you said, even to the point of not having my morning tea and waiting a little longer to do a later weigh-in to get even an extra .2lb down. Pathetic, but there are times I need to see a bit of loss. Right now I'm up 1.5lbs and growling about it.Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Today's confession: As you all might know (due to all the food-related confessions I've been dumping in here...), I've gained quite a bit of weight over my low weight since March. I've gained about 10 kilos, to put a number on it, and I'm just getting back on the wagon. :-/
So, after two days eating under my goal, here's how today's weigh-in went: I went to pee (of course), then hopped on the scale in my underclothes. I got a 70.0 and I thought to myself, "I am SO CLOSE to breaking into the 60s again!" This in mind, I became a little bit desperate. So, I turned to my husband and said... "You know what? I'm going to try to pee some more."
He, of course, stared at me like I was crazy. "How in the world do you pee some more?!" I ignored him and went to attempt it, not that it was particularly successful... Is this TMI?
Afterwards, I stripped down and weighed without my underclothes to get rid of every gram of extra weight that I could possibly shed. The scale was kind and measured me at 69.9. So then I go... "YAY! I BROKE INTO THE SIXTIES AGAIN! BOOYAH!" It counts, right?
This whole post put a huge smile on my face!!
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Oh, how awful. So sorry to hear thatToday is a bit of a roller coaster for me. I woke to find out that a dear friend had passed away. She was only 46 and from what I know had had a massive heart attack over the weekend. She has three young children. You never know when....
On the other side, my four year old has already started with the tooth loss. She had her first tooth come out this morning. So I am happy for her in this step in her development, but I am also very sad about my friend.
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Today is a bit of a roller coaster for me. I woke to find out that a dear friend had passed away. She was only 46 and from what I know had had a massive heart attack over the weekend. She has three young children. You never know when....
On the other side, my four year old has already started with the tooth loss. She had her first tooth come out this morning. So I am happy for her in this step in her development, but I am also very sad about my friend.
I'm so sorry for your loss Hugs! I know people make fun of YOLO but seriously it's true and you never know when your time will come, live life to the fullest for sure 0 -
3 of the swimsuits and the swimsuit cover came from Amazon yesterday. As soon as I walked in the door, I was asked to "model" them.
The first one I tried on barley covered my nipples and I feared my boob would pop out if I made any sudden movements. It was a really cute navy with white polka dots suit and it was my husband's favorite.
The second one was just like the one I found on Anthropologie's website, but it was a lot less expensive. I shimmied into it and had him tie the halter. It fit perfectly and made my butt look amazing. I was really excited.
The third one was a little strange. It was like a mini dress with a bikini bottom attached. The back was really cute and when I pulled the skirt down a little bit, it made my butt look amazing. The top where the two cups met was a little messed up or I probably would have kept it.
I am due to get the final one today. I am most excited about it. I hope this works. http://www.amazon.com/Cocoship-Vintage-Monokinis-Halter-Swimsuit/dp/B00TI5BMYG/ref=pd_sim_193_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1ZWTW24XMYZ5XAWWN296
My husband also said he was going to buy me another swimsuit cover.
Every day I get a little bit more excited about our trip. Especially now that I have at least one really cute swimsuit.
I think that any swimsuit that gets you excited is amazing! I've been more or less maintaining for the past year, and I still get nervous in a swimsuit. Out of curiosity, which swimsuit was number 2? (the Anthropologie look-alike?) I'm still looking for a good new suit for this summer and then for the honeymoon...
This is number 2 (ha ha) and by FAR my favorite. http://www.amazon.com/Cocoship-Elegant-Inspired-Monokinis-Swimsuit/dp/B00UBUBPF8/ref=pd_sim_193_4?ie=UTF8&refRID=1QWYB9V5H934Y3F3VD8B
The blue with the red polka dots came in yesterday and it sadly didn't fit and wasn't all that flattering. We spent almost an hour trying to pick out a bikini for me. No luck yet, but I don't want to give up. Neither does my husband. Hmmm, wonder why?!
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After an initial success, I started "playing at" this again and gained back some weight. I haven't logged my weight so that I won't show a gain. I realized as I was typing that I was about to enter some excuses and stopped myself. lol It is so easy to make excuses. Got serious again over the weekend. Still haven't logged weight, though - guess I'd better do that...0
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »Today's confession: As you all might know (due to all the food-related confessions I've been dumping in here...), I've gained quite a bit of weight over my low weight since March. I've gained about 10 kilos, to put a number on it, and I'm just getting back on the wagon. :-/
So, after two days eating under my goal, here's how today's weigh-in went: I went to pee (of course), then hopped on the scale in my underclothes. I got a 70.0 and I thought to myself, "I am SO CLOSE to breaking into the 60s again!" This in mind, I became a little bit desperate. So, I turned to my husband and said... "You know what? I'm going to try to pee some more."
He, of course, stared at me like I was crazy. "How in the world do you pee some more?!" I ignored him and went to attempt it, not that it was particularly successful... Is this TMI?
Afterwards, I stripped down and weighed without my underclothes to get rid of every gram of extra weight that I could possibly shed. The scale was kind and measured me at 69.9. So then I go... "YAY! I BROKE INTO THE SIXTIES AGAIN! BOOYAH!" It counts, right?
It absolutely counts! Yay!!!0 -
Today is a bit of a roller coaster for me. I woke to find out that a dear friend had passed away. She was only 46 and from what I know had had a massive heart attack over the weekend. She has three young children. You never know when....
On the other side, my four year old has already started with the tooth loss. She had her first tooth come out this morning. So I am happy for her in this step in her development, but I am also very sad about my friend.
So sorry about your friend. hugs
My son is 5 and a half and doesn't even have a loose tooth. My first son lost his first tooth, I think, at 5. the 5 year old is so funny though, his big brother gives him advice on what foods to eat to help loosen his teeth, like apples. It's pretty comical to hear their conversations.
thanks for the hugs. My daughter will be 5 in about another month, so not starting too early. She already has another loose one as well. Guess I'd better start saving now for the orthodontist!!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you.
That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
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I can't tell if fruit this year tastes really bland, I've lost my taste buds or I just keep picking loser fruit. Threw away plums last week because they tasted of NOTHING (nope, I didn't even log them) and I've just bought a bad batch of apricots. I figure if I can't taste it, there is no calories in it? Bit like water.0
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reneemurray897 wrote: »After an initial success, I started "playing at" this again and gained back some weight. I haven't logged my weight so that I won't show a gain. I realized as I was typing that I was about to enter some excuses and stopped myself. lol It is so easy to make excuses. Got serious again over the weekend. Still haven't logged weight, though - guess I'd better do that...
That's okay- back on the wagon- better to start now again than later, or never! 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.0 -
I hope this is true (I may have been one of the people you were trying to reassure, several hundred pages back)Susieq_1994 wrote: »Today's confession: As you all might know (due to all the food-related confessions I've been dumping in here...), I've gained quite a bit of weight over my low weight since March. I've gained about 10 kilos, to put a number on it, and I'm just getting back on the wagon. :-/
So, after two days eating under my goal, here's how today's weigh-in went: I went to pee (of course), then hopped on the scale in my underclothes. I got a 70.0 and I thought to myself, "I am SO CLOSE to breaking into the 60s again!" This in mind, I became a little bit desperate. So, I turned to my husband and said... "You know what? I'm going to try to pee some more."
He, of course, stared at me like I was crazy. "How in the world do you pee some more?!" I ignored him and went to attempt it, not that it was particularly successful... Is this TMI?
Afterwards, I stripped down and weighed without my underclothes to get rid of every gram of extra weight that I could possibly shed. The scale was kind and measured me at 69.9. So then I go... "YAY! I BROKE INTO THE SIXTIES AGAIN! BOOYAH!" It counts, right?
OF COURSE it counts! In fact, it's far more accurate than your initial weigh-in, considering it included undergarments.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »It is almost midnight and I am waiting for my son to get home from work so I can go to bed.
The sad dad stories really got to me today.
When my dad died he was shoveling the drive way and had a heart attack. A neighbor found him. He drove me to school that morning (I was 15), when he did not pick me up, I called, and a cop answered the phone and told me he had died and to come home right away. I actually told the cop that he usually picked me up from school at the other end of town, and I did not know how to get home. His reply was that they would be there when I got there.
I ran back in the school and had a teacher drive me home. Later that day, when I went outside, his hat, eye glasses, blood and vomit were all over the drive way.
At the funeral, in true 'mother' style, she caused a big scene and picked him up out of the casket....I will never forget the crude autopsy scar on the back of his head.
I do not think I will ever fully get over that.
My best girlfriend died two and a half years ago, that was the hardest death I have dealt with other than my father's. Death really sucks!
My rodent is looking rather poor today....he is so skinny and was making a funny noise today when I was holding him. He spends all day in a puff ball in his cage with his head down, this is also what the other one did in the days before he died....I do not think it is gonna be much longer now....I am heartbroken.
On a better note, my sister and her family are coming to visit next month. They live in Indy and I only see them once every couple years......
I am sorry about your dad. That was really rough.
Are you SURE it's not time to euthanize your Degu? Ease his passage to another life?
I was thinking about that last night.....I just do not know what to do...he has periods of time where other than being skinny he seems like he is gonna be fine....and I am so scared to do something like that if he has any chance at all of making it.
This morning when I first got up to make lunch for my son, he was chewing on some wood and even got in his wheel (only for a moment though).....now he is laying down in a corner and did not even get up when I moved his cage back into the living room, which is unusual....I was scared to check if he was breathing, but he is.....
I go back and forth.....half the time I am freaking out and thinking he is ready to go anytime, and then other half the time I think he looks ok......right now I am freaking out, esp as I am ready to leave for work shortly.....
The uncertainty is the worst... sorry you have to go through this.
And @LBuehrle8 I forgot to mention that you guys are soooo cute!0 -
On phone and hard to quote... so sorry for the person who lost her friend. So awful.
My daughter lost her first tooth at 3.5 or something. I freaked out.
I hope the degu gets better...
I'm alone today and wish I could enjoy it but I'm not feeling good.0
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