Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »@pofoster21 I thought I woke up early at 5! What time do you get up?
And by the way I HIGHLY recommend Friends (TV show) it's on Netflix now and I've watched the whole series twice! It's just so funny and it always puts me in a good mood if I'm feeling blue
I watch that when I am on the stationary bike & need something to watch:D. My favorite character has to be Chandler for the guys & Phoebe for the girls.
I think you mean Miss. Chanandler Bong and Regina Felangie. Later known as Princess Consuela Bananahammock. I'm rewatching every episode on Netflix with my daughter. Who I may or may not have named after a character on the show.
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you.
That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
That's what he needs0 -
This morning I was able to put on a shirt that previously was tight. I was super stoked that it was loose and hung straight down from my chest without clinging to my hips or rear end. Then I became depressed because it seriously occurred to me that I've been trying to look like Sponge Bob square pants and walk like a robot my whole life. My mother told me that only *kitten* showed their hips and my step-father told me that only fat slutty *kitten* wiggled when they walked.
I don't wear red either. Even though I love red and I look awesome in red. I am pale skinned, with dark hair and green eyes. I look spectacular in red and I can't wear it because only sluts wear red. I am now upset and pissed off because I know even if I were to buy something that clings in red I probably wouldn't be able to wear it out of the house. I'd be afraid everyone was staring at me for the wrong reasons. I feel pathetic.
I'm thinking you should try to get past this with baby steps... a little splash of colour here and there to start, some mildly wiggle-generating mid-height heels... and work your way up.
My mother held the odd notion that "only widows wear black" but fortunately that didn't get passed on to me and I wear a lot of black. Oh, and when I was a teen somebody told her that only sluts wear big earrings. That was her one and only piece of advice to me upon starting high school. Lol. (I just put them on after I left the house)
I've never been much for wearing bright colours or fancy patterns since I've always preferred to fade into the background, but I've slowly been adding more vibrant clothes into my wardrobe.
Yes, that is pretty much what I do. Pretty much all of my clothing is a shade of black or grey with some blue jeans thrown in.
I was raised the same way. And talk about double messages - this was in a family where I can guarantee that my mother would collapse into hysterics if she thought I might possibly approach a weight over 100 pounds in high school. This stuff is absolutely freaking psychosis-inducing =P
I can only say that after gradually shedding a lot of the idiocy that had gotten shoved into my poor brain, I finally came around to firmly believing that every woman should own at least one blazing red dress and a good pair of "f*** me" pumps. And then wear 'em for YOURSELF - without regard to anybody else's dumb beliefs or stereotypes.
Good lord. I'm surprised sometimes that so many of us get through this life to turn out as basically sane, basically decent human beings - we get so much toxic crap thrown at us.
Amen! And I'm sorry for all the struggles everyone has endured regarding this topic. One correction, though: ONE pair of f*** pumps?! Oh, honey, I have a closet full of them! Worn with my discreet, professional clothes every day I get lots of use out of all of them and they make me feel fabulous!0 -
Jaxxie1181 wrote: »I had a margarita with dinner tonight, and I'm not sorry!
Margaritas should never be apologized for! Unless they are made poorly. Otherwise just having a margarita in front of you is cause for celebration!0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »unrelentingminx wrote: »My confessions are:
1) Flapjacks are my downfall - I can easily scoff down a whole tub (22 pieces) of 'bitesize' flapjacks in one sitting while telling myself that all those oats are good for me. Sometimes they are my entire dinner.
2) I will happily sit down to watch 'Superfat vs Superskinny' on TV after failing to go to the gym and with a box of chocolates and fully aware of the irony.
I do the second part of your confession too. I know the week's worth of food in the tube at the beginning is supposed to be off-putting, but more often than not I find myself thinking, 'ooh I'd love a plate of chips right now.'
I was totally going to mention my latest adventure with chips, until I remembered "chips" would be our "fries", and our chips would be "crisps" (thank you Peppa Pig lmao). Total reading comprehension fail there. (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong too lol.) :laugh:
I'm completely confused because I meant chips as in fries (I'm British). Brain fail.
American English or English English "chips" I'm always up for either one!
Edit: Because I know how to spell correctly... 0 -
I would like to borrow those eyes.
Me too! I would love to see myself through someone else's eyes, as weird as that sounds- I don't think the way everyone else thinks I do
ETA-I'm leaving my original post because it cracks me up what I wrote...I meant to write "I don't think I look the way everyone else thinks I do"...but seriously I don't think the way everyone PROBABLY does think the way I do haha0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »My rodent is looking rather poor today....he is so skinny and was making a funny noise today when I was holding him. He spends all day in a puff ball in his cage with his head down, this is also what the other one did in the days before he died....I do not think it is gonna be much longer now....I am heartbroken.
Poor Little Rodent Boy. Since it seems all hope is lost, I hope he goes peacefully and painlessly.
I'm sorry about your dad, those sound like particularly horrifying memories. If you were only 15 he must have been a fairly young man at the time.pofoster21 wrote: »I confess I have never heard of DeGrassi. But I pretty much haven't watched tv since 1990. Never saw Friends, Seinfeld, etc. I do watch NCIS and Law and Order and used to watch House when I go to my Moms. I never wanted to spend the money when I first was on my own then just preferred to read if I had the free time.
I haven't been much of a TV watcher since I left my parents' home at 17, I too prefer to read. But in my childhood it was safer to escape to my bedroom (I had an old B&W TV with no cable) -- stay under the radar and drown out the drunken arguing.
Most of the shows that I've seen as an adult have been with friends or former partners... or occasional mindless stuff in a hotel room when travelling alone. So I've never seen Friends, Seinfeld (other than one episode at a friend's house, didn't think much of the show really), Sex and the City, Two and a Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, Game of Thrones... any of the popular stuff.
If I watch anything, my taste runs to British comedy. I just don't find a lot of American "comedy" funny, although I did like Big Bang Theory.
But you've seen The Office though, right?!
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xMrBunglex wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »It is almost midnight and I am waiting for my son to get home from work so I can go to bed.
The sad dad stories really got to me today.
When my dad died he was shoveling the drive way and had a heart attack. A neighbor found him. He drove me to school that morning (I was 15), when he did not pick me up, I called, and a cop answered the phone and told me he had died and to come home right away. I actually told the cop that he usually picked me up from school at the other end of town, and I did not know how to get home. His reply was that they would be there when I got there.
I ran back in the school and had a teacher drive me home. Later that day, when I went outside, his hat, eye glasses, blood and vomit were all over the drive way.
At the funeral, in true 'mother' style, she caused a big scene and picked him up out of the casket....I will never forget the crude autopsy scar on the back of his head.
I do not think I will ever fully get over that.
My best girlfriend died two and a half years ago, that was the hardest death I have dealt with other than my father's. Death really sucks!
My rodent is looking rather poor today....he is so skinny and was making a funny noise today when I was holding him. He spends all day in a puff ball in his cage with his head down, this is also what the other one did in the days before he died....I do not think it is gonna be much longer now....I am heartbroken.
On a better note, my sister and her family are coming to visit next month. They live in Indy and I only see them once every couple years......
I am sorry about your dad. That was really rough.
Are you SURE it's not time to euthanize your Degu? Ease his passage to another life?
I was thinking about that last night.....I just do not know what to do...he has periods of time where other than being skinny he seems like he is gonna be fine....and I am so scared to do something like that if he has any chance at all of making it.
This morning when I first got up to make lunch for my son, he was chewing on some wood and even got in his wheel (only for a moment though).....now he is laying down in a corner and did not even get up when I moved his cage back into the living room, which is unusual....I was scared to check if he was breathing, but he is.....
I go back and forth.....half the time I am freaking out and thinking he is ready to go anytime, and then other half the time I think he looks ok......right now I am freaking out, esp as I am ready to leave for work shortly.....
Sorry to hear that you;re going through this. It is tough when you don't know what to do.
For what it's worth, (and this is hard for me to put out there), our cat Sonja had a good 17 year life, she was like a child to my wife. She had all kinds of problems towards the end (CKD, diabetes) and we were pokng her to check her blood sugar, giving her subcutaneous fluids daily, etc. etc. She was happy for another year or so.
But then her blood sugar dropped & she went into a seizure...she recovered but was in pretty bad shape after that, but she got around, ate & we thought she was hanging in there. About 3 months later, we were going have her go to sleep, but we chickened out...and then she had one horrible night. Didn't kill her, but she was clearly in pain.
We sent her off to the fields of Elysium the next morning, but my wife still tears up about that last night. We really wish we had let her go sooner.
I'm so sorry, that is rough Thanks for sharing though. 0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »It is almost midnight and I am waiting for my son to get home from work so I can go to bed.
The sad dad stories really got to me today.
When my dad died he was shoveling the drive way and had a heart attack. A neighbor found him. He drove me to school that morning (I was 15), when he did not pick me up, I called, and a cop answered the phone and told me he had died and to come home right away. I actually told the cop that he usually picked me up from school at the other end of town, and I did not know how to get home. His reply was that they would be there when I got there.
I ran back in the school and had a teacher drive me home. Later that day, when I went outside, his hat, eye glasses, blood and vomit were all over the drive way.
At the funeral, in true 'mother' style, she caused a big scene and picked him up out of the casket....I will never forget the crude autopsy scar on the back of his head.
I do not think I will ever fully get over that.
My best girlfriend died two and a half years ago, that was the hardest death I have dealt with other than my father's. Death really sucks!
My rodent is looking rather poor today....he is so skinny and was making a funny noise today when I was holding him. He spends all day in a puff ball in his cage with his head down, this is also what the other one did in the days before he died....I do not think it is gonna be much longer now....I am heartbroken.
On a better note, my sister and her family are coming to visit next month. They live in Indy and I only see them once every couple years......
Oh my. This is beyond heartbreaking. First of all, the police should have brought you home from school. Second, they also should have cleared the driveway. I can't even address the scar thing. Don't know what to possibly say. Good thing the human spirit is so resilient. It's amazing what we experience, carry around with us, and yet continue living.
Thanks for the update on your fur baby. Poor thing. I hope he is comfortable.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »@pofoster21 I thought I woke up early at 5! What time do you get up?
And by the way I HIGHLY recommend Friends (TV show) it's on Netflix now and I've watched the whole series twice! It's just so funny and it always puts me in a good mood if I'm feeling blue
I watch that when I am on the stationary bike & need something to watch:D. My favorite character has to be Chandler for the guys & Phoebe for the girls.
I think you mean Miss. Chanandler Bong and Regina Felangie. Later known as Princess Consuela Bananahammock. I'm rewatching every episode on Netflix with my daughter. Who I may or may not have named after a character on the show.
Can't forget Regina Felangie ends up marrying Mr. Crap Bag hahaha
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This morning I was able to put on a shirt that previously was tight. I was super stoked that it was loose and hung straight down from my chest without clinging to my hips or rear end. Then I became depressed because it seriously occurred to me that I've been trying to look like Sponge Bob square pants and walk like a robot my whole life. My mother told me that only *kitten* showed their hips and my step-father told me that only fat slutty *kitten* wiggled when they walked.
I don't wear red either. Even though I love red and I look awesome in red. I am pale skinned, with dark hair and green eyes. I look spectacular in red and I can't wear it because only sluts wear red. I am now upset and pissed off because I know even if I were to buy something that clings in red I probably wouldn't be able to wear it out of the house. I'd be afraid everyone was staring at me for the wrong reasons. I feel pathetic.
I'm behind again, so someone has probably already said this, but *none* of those things are true. They really did a number on you. You should wear what you feel comfortable in, in whatever color you like. No one other than insane people (sorry) will think you are a slut for wearing a certain color or showing your hips. 0 -
Here's a confession: My husband plays games on his iPad. His newest game is Hay Day where you virtually take care of a farm. He was gone this weekend and I picked up his iPad to look something up and an alert said "your farm animals miss you" I decided I had to look in on them. I am now hooked on Hay Day. I feel ridiculous when I play and super ridiculous admitting it.
Edited: Because I didn't want to forget anyone
I'm sorry this made me laugh out loud. I could just picture the whole scene of you checking in on the animals and now being addicted. I am still going strong on Candy Crush and Candy Crush Soda and I love words with friends. I always have at least 7 games of that going on.
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Today is a bit of a roller coaster for me. I woke to find out that a dear friend had passed away. She was only 46 and from what I know had had a massive heart attack over the weekend. She has three young children. You never know when....
On the other side, my four year old has already started with the tooth loss. She had her first tooth come out this morning. So I am happy for her in this step in her development, but I am also very sad about my friend.
Sorry for the loss of your friend. Hugs.
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Jaxxie1181 wrote: »I had a margarita with dinner tonight, and I'm not sorry!
Margaritas should never be apologized for! Unless they are made poorly. Otherwise just having a margarita in front of you is cause for celebration!
Words to live by0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Today's confession: As you all might know (due to all the food-related confessions I've been dumping in here...), I've gained quite a bit of weight over my low weight since March. I've gained about 10 kilos, to put a number on it, and I'm just getting back on the wagon. :-/
So, after two days eating under my goal, here's how today's weigh-in went: I went to pee (of course), then hopped on the scale in my underclothes. I got a 70.0 and I thought to myself, "I am SO CLOSE to breaking into the 60s again!" This in mind, I became a little bit desperate. So, I turned to my husband and said... "You know what? I'm going to try to pee some more."
He, of course, stared at me like I was crazy. "How in the world do you pee some more?!" I ignored him and went to attempt it, not that it was particularly successful... Is this TMI?
Afterwards, I stripped down and weighed without my underclothes to get rid of every gram of extra weight that I could possibly shed. The scale was kind and measured me at 69.9. So then I go... "YAY! I BROKE INTO THE SIXTIES AGAIN! BOOYAH!" It counts, right?
It 100% does! I weigh myself with nothing but my glasses on and that's just because I can't see the scale without them.
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Jaxxie1181 wrote: »I had a margarita with dinner tonight, and I'm not sorry!
Margaritas should never be apologized for! Unless they are made poorly. Otherwise just having a margarita in front of you is cause for celebration!
Words to live by
Pretty much the reason I make my own margaritas. Nothing like the disappointment of paying too much (money and calories) for a bad margarita.0 -
Here's a confession: My husband plays games on his iPad. His newest game is Hay Day where you virtually take care of a farm. He was gone this weekend and I picked up his iPad to look something up and an alert said "your farm animals miss you" I decided I had to look in on them. I am now hooked on Hay Day. I feel ridiculous when I play and super ridiculous admitting it.
Edited: Because I didn't want to forget anyone
I'm sorry this made me laugh out loud. I could just picture the whole scene of you checking in on the animals and now being addicted. I am still going strong on Candy Crush and Candy Crush Soda and I love words with friends. I always have at least 7 games of that going on.
Right?!? I felt so sorry for those poor animals missing their farmer. Now I can't. put. it. down. Pathetic, I know...0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »Accents: in my opinion, small-town Canadians (from anywhere) have a very different accent to city-dwellers and it's very noticeable. I've lived my whole life in urban Alberta and my accent is apparently geographically untraceable (depending on who I'm talking to, I've heard everything from "California" to "oh, were your parents Scandinavian?" to "did you grow up in England?" in my life) but I think there is a very distinct accent for rural Canadians (and, obviously, for French-Canadians and a couple variations for East Coasters too.)
It's not quite the same was what people think of as a "Canadian accent" (which usually sounds more like Minnesota to me when I hear it played for laughs on TV) but it's definitely a thing.
If you want to know what a rural Canadian accent sounds like...
http://youtu.be/F-glHAzXi_M[/embed]
I call that one the "Trailer Park Boys accent". Thanks for sharing.
Rural Manitoba is a little more "nasally" sounding to me.
And I've never said "aboot" for about in my life.
I always thought it sounded more like "aboat" anyway.
Being with my Canadian best friend rubbed off on me a lot, she didn't say aboot, but I still -almost 20 years later - catch myself saying "sorey' instead of "sorry".0 -
I do my best to be there for him, at 25 he doesn't have either one of his grandmothers and only one living grandfather, and it's rough on him. He tells me all the time to be thankful I still have the grandparents I have. My maternal grandmother (Mema) is still with us, I don't see my step-grandma or only living grandpa because they cut my parents and myself out of the family (long story), my bio grandma (paternal) committed suicide in 1983, and my granddaddy (maternal grandfather) passed from cancer in 2004. I still have my great-grandma (Mama Tucker) here at the young age of 96, and my husband tells me everyday to never forget just how blessed I am to still have her and my other grandparents. Believe me, I haven't forgotten at all.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
That's what he needs
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rosehips60 wrote: »i hide m&m's in an old margarine container so my son and husband can't find them. I don't binge on them but I want to know they are there when i want a treat. I even count the darn things out so I can log them
I put small candy like m&m's, skittles, sour patch etc in a coffee cup, and if my kids come close I pretend to take a drink. *nonchalant*0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
Sometimes, that's enough.
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I spent the first five hours of my work day actually doing work stuff!
Confession: I spent the last hour eating popcorn and job searching on my phone.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »rosehips60 wrote: »i hide m&m's in an old margarine container so my son and husband can't find them. I don't binge on them but I want to know they are there when i want a treat. I even count the darn things out so I can log them
I put small candy like m&m's, skittles, sour patch etc in a coffee cup, and if my kids come close I pretend to take a drink. *nonchalant*
Clever 0 -
spacequiztime wrote: »
Just a standard grocery chain in the south. It's got more of a variety of foods than my local Krogers and Target
What is HEB?spacequiztime wrote: »
Oh god, I've had so many crappy trips to Wal Mart. We went to one we don't normally go to on a recent trip and someone started yelling and telling people not to look at her because they wouldn't sue her.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Confession: I had a Target giftcard to use, so I stopped in to pick up some things I needed for my exam this weekend, and general household stuff. I also picked a pair of workout capris (pair #15, or so - obsession!)...and a pair of SIZE FOUR jeans. They are still VERY snug and totally muffin top-inducing, but they technically both zip and button so...
It counts! and I adore Target..I could live in that store for real!
Oh how I love Target! I will drive 30 minutes out of my way to go there, simply because I HATE walmart! Reminds me of a saying I saw somewhere, "Target: where you spend a little more just to avoid going to Walmart."
HEB is my favorite grocery store. I do love Target apparel though!
I've worn glasses since 6th grade and can still remember how shocking it was to be able to see the individual hairs on my cat so clearly! My last pair were busted after my car accident and I couldn't get new ones with my old prescription right away. I spent a good few weeks without them and not being able to read certain words was not fun.
I really want to buy some prescription sunglassesman. I need to stop being lazy and actually do it.
One of the best purchases I've ever made. The only thing that sucks is having to switch back to my regular glasses when going inside or when it gets too dark instead of just being able to put them on the top of my head. I love my prescription Ray Bans though. LOVE THEM!
ETA: I am also very visually challenged and have worn glasses since the 5th grade. I used to have contacts and would like to get some for my trip, but my eyes produce a lot of protein so they don't last very long and because I'm so blind, they are like $200 a pair or something ridiculous like that. My glasses are so expensive due to my strong prescription, I can only afford to have 1 pair at a time, and the only reason I have the prescription sunnies is because Lens Crafters was running a half-price sale.
I also have a very strong prescription- even with the lightest weight lenses, my glasses are thick, heavy, and very expensive! I have allergies, so my eyes produce crap several times a year. I get the disposable contacts. Mine are 2 week disposable (I clean them every night and make them last a month!), but you can get daily disposables too. You might think about disposables for vacation. Your eye doctor would probably give you a sample pair to try for free.
Edit because punctuation is hard!
I never thought about samples! I love you. Is that weird?!
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
Sometimes, that's enough.
He still chokes up when he mentions how much he wishes Raelynn could have met them. They were very influential in his life and he was very close to them.0 -
I cheat a lot and go out to eat at fast food places. I'm addicted plus my husband is trying to gain weight0
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »
I do my best to be there for him, at 25 he doesn't have either one of his grandmothers and only one living grandfather, and it's rough on him. He tells me all the time to be thankful I still have the grandparents I have. My maternal grandmother (Mema) is still with us, I don't see my step-grandma or only living grandpa because they cut my parents and myself out of the family (long story), my bio grandma (paternal) committed suicide in 1983, and my granddaddy (maternal grandfather) passed from cancer in 2004. I still have my great-grandma (Mama Tucker) here at the young age of 96, and my husband tells me everyday to never forget just how blessed I am to still have her and my other grandparents. Believe me, I haven't forgotten at all.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
That's what he needs
All my grandparents are gone but my husband has both grandmas. Grandparents are truly a blessing, at least mine were.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »@pofoster21 I thought I woke up early at 5! What time do you get up?
And by the way I HIGHLY recommend Friends (TV show) it's on Netflix now and I've watched the whole series twice! It's just so funny and it always puts me in a good mood if I'm feeling blue
I watch that when I am on the stationary bike & need something to watch:D. My favorite character has to be Chandler for the guys & Phoebe for the girls.
I think you mean Miss. Chanandler Bong and Regina Felangie. Later known as Princess Consuela Bananahammock. I'm rewatching every episode on Netflix with my daughter. Who I may or may not have named after a character on the show.
Can't forget Regina Felangie ends up marrying Mr. Crap Bag hahaha
I was going to add that, but then decided not to. I should have added that!
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »
I do my best to be there for him, at 25 he doesn't have either one of his grandmothers and only one living grandfather, and it's rough on him. He tells me all the time to be thankful I still have the grandparents I have. My maternal grandmother (Mema) is still with us, I don't see my step-grandma or only living grandpa because they cut my parents and myself out of the family (long story), my bio grandma (paternal) committed suicide in 1983, and my granddaddy (maternal grandfather) passed from cancer in 2004. I still have my great-grandma (Mama Tucker) here at the young age of 96, and my husband tells me everyday to never forget just how blessed I am to still have her and my other grandparents. Believe me, I haven't forgotten at all.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »
I lost my Dad to cancer at 61 in July 2012. It was pretty quick really, he had his kidney removed just over a year before, but then it came back and he deteriorated quickly. I loved my Dad totally, I feel so lucky when some people on here have talked about their upbringings because I had a great childhood.Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »bainsworth1a wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Finally caught up! My confession is I've been drinking too much...every single day for quite awhile. I am making a commitment to not drink Monday through Thursday this week. Please think good thoughts for me!
ETA: A little embarrassed to admit this quasi publicly, but hoping admitting it on here will make me face reality. Since I know there are several of you that have admitted to stopping for good.
You are so not judged. I'm thinking about (not yet committed to ) a dry June. Yes, it is a big enough of a deal to not drink for an entire month for me but June is my worst month. My dad died 3 years ago on his and my mother's 43rd wedding anniversary, right after Father's Day. I tend to drink and cry from one to the other. I try to keep that as discrete as possible (the drinking, not the crying ) so I'm not a super horrible example to my kids but seriously, it is excessive and it needs to stop.
You are not alone. Many people struggle with cutting back on drinking.
I am sorry for your loss. My father died right after 4th of july 1990 and I still morn him. He was a shot and a beer guy and drank every night before he went to bed. I toast him with a shot and a beer on 4th of july and on his birthday in October. It makes me feel better to keep this ritual in his memory.
My dad died 26 years ago this June, 3 days before my parents wedding annivesary and again, right after Father's Day. Still miss him every day.
Funny how it never seems any easier.....my father died on Dec 3rd, 1991, I still cry every single time that anniversary passes. He died very suddenly, and inadvertently left me alone with my crazy mother, so it was really difficult. He was the person I loved most in the world, and I still miss him every day. My son is named after him, and it makes me tear up when I think about how my son never got to meet him. My sister said she cried a lot when he died too, not only because he was a great stepdad to her, but because she felt bad for the way he was treated by our mother and when he died she felt bad that he wasted so many years of his life being treated like that.
But last year, on only the second anniversary of his death I was really into what I was doing at work at the time and I completely forgot until my brother text to see of I was ok. This made me feel like I was a terrible person. Me and my brother have both always said to my mum that we don't want to mark the occasion, we'd rather continue to celebrate his birthday instead, and her brother and sisters tend to do something with her on the anniversary. But I felt awful that I didn't even realise.
I've never really been much of a crier, and tend to get on with things, but some things will really upset me. Sometimes even imagined things, like a song I think he'd have liked and I imagine him telling me about this great new singer that I was trying to get him into years before, but he'd only have recognised when they came onto radio 2. And when my brother got married last month I got quite upset when we did something to remember him, but I'd not have expected that I would have.
But I have found that it does seem easier, I love my dad and always will, he has played a big part in who I am, and although I miss him when he should be around I know how he would have felt about things and can imagine his reaction. And to me the anniversary of his death is the opposite to special and not something I want to mark.
I don't make a big deal about the day my dad died either. He also died of cancer. And we found him...He had probably got out of bed to go to the bathroom and had a stroke or he may have fallen and hit his head on the side table. My mom had stayed in the spare bedroom because he was getting Chemo and she had a cold and didn't want to affect him. She couldn't find him when she went looking for him and came running into the kitchen where I was having breakfast hysterical she couldn't find him. She thought he had committed suicide, went running for the garage to see if his car was there. When she saw it was she just looked at me like where is he? And I knew. I said 'did you look beside the bed'? She was so confused but I just knew. We went to the bedroom and looked at the far side of the bed and he was laying there. She was hysterical again and kept begging me to do something, to help him. I could tell that he had been gone for hours. I worked as a nursing *kitten*'t at the time, and she thought I should save him. It still breaks my heart that I couldn't do anything to help -- her mostly as he was long gone. I felt guilty about that for years. For years I could never say my dad had died, I only said he was gone. Apparently a lot of cancer patients don't actually die from cancer, they have strokes, etc. before the cancer kills them (at least that is what I remember the doctor telling me at the time). But the day he died is just a day. I prefer to remember all the good stuff he did, none of the bad (which my siblings like to focus on) and I simply miss him every day. But I have 'missed' the day of his death before and felt guilty to not even recognize it. I am always sad on Fathers day and I get bitter when marketers send me emails about 'gifts for dad'. I actually just got one as I was writing this. I wish I could buy my dad a gift.
And now I am sorry I probably just depressed all of you. That was heart wrenching.
My husband was actually the one that found his grandpa after he passed. He went over after work for something and he was just lying on the couch. He preformed CPR and called 911 but it was too late. He more than likely had a heart attack in his sleep. He was REALLY close to his grandpa, because growing up, his dad was in and out of prison his whole life, so his grandpa was the positive male role model in his life. He still, after almost 14 years, gets choked up when he starts talking about him.
I was there when my grandpa passed away. He was in a home and we all knew it was coming but it was still hard, he just stopped breathing. I remember someone at the funeral talking to me about how it probably made me feel at peace to be there for him at the end but mostly, I hated that I was there. When my grandma started to decline, I was scared to visit because I didn't want to witness her passing as well. I sometimes feel guilty for that.
My husband was there when his grandma died a few years ago. He talks about it and says it gave him more closure than when his grandpa died unexpectedly, but it still affected him. I have a grandma and great grandma in a nursing home and he refuses to go with me to see them because just walking into one brings those memories of his grandma's death back. I've never gone through seeing a loved one die so I don't know what to say when he talks about it, all I can do is give hugs and listen.
That's what he needs
All my grandparents are gone but my husband has both grandmas. Grandparents are truly a blessing, at least mine were.
Very true. It bothers me that Raelynn has two great grandparents she'll probably never see due to petty drama, but she still has her grandparents and her Mema and Mama Tucker, which makes me feel better.
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