DEAR FAT PEOPLE

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Replies

  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    JaneiR36 wrote: »
    tomatoey wrote: »
    senecarr wrote: »
    tomatoey wrote: »
    tomatoey wrote: »
    senecarr wrote: »
    TiJoGa wrote: »
    Whitney Way Thore made a great rebuttal video if anyone is interested in viewing it.
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r2YYZBrPwwU

    What a bunch of ridiculous justifications for being fat. PCOS or not, you don't get fat without stuffing garbage into your body or eating to excess. People just want/expect others to make them feel better about their bad habits. This kind of attitude is what makes the original video even more fitting.

    Pretty sure she said PCOS was not the sole reason she gained weight. She mentioned it because the original video said it wasn't addressing people with health issues that have contributed to them being overweight.

    In most cases, their health issues are the RESULT of them being overweight, not the other way around.

    Uh, that's not necessarily true, like at all.

    Overweight/obesity increase the risk for diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, some fertility issues, some cancers etc. I thought this was common knowledge. Instead, you're saying they're overweight because of their health problems. I don't think so.

    It does happen, with PCOS and thyroid issues, and those aren't exactly unheard of conditions.

    I am so tired, though, of hearing people talk about how overweight people "did it to themselves", even on this site. When the problem is really just living a default life in our society with a human body. This is an obesogenic society, end of. It is statistically normal to be overweight or obese. It kind of blows my mind that people can look at stats like that and think it's down to the individual. It is to anyone's credit when they do take things into their own hands, but that is a countercultural thing to do. I'd even say it's subversive, everyone here knows there are social sanctions for restricting calories / bucking norms.

    sorry, i may have mis-read the sentence in bold... But if overweight people didn't make themselves overweight, then who did? Of course barring the obligatory medical conditions....

    I, myself, me and only me made myself overweight... why?? Because I ate too much! I have nobody and nothing to blame but myself :huh:

    Because of some of the things people have talked about in this thread
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10239541/does-just-immigrating-to-the-usa-lead-to-weight-gain#latest

    I'd say it is a levels of analysis problem. On the scale of making a society or the world healthier, all those things are influences and worth policy discussion. That's a macro level discussion.
    If you're on the MFP board looking to discuss your own personal weight loss, I'd hold that at that micro level, you have to view it as personal accountability. If you're not willing to admit over eating is the fundamental cause, and eating less than you burn until you reach your desired weight is the only fundamental solution, you're incredibly unlikely to succeed.

    Those are different levels of analysis, but I don't think they're contradictory, and I don't know, I don't have a problem recognizing both how stacked the deck is, and how functioning in an unthinking way leads to obesity so often (and did in my case, as well), and that I gained the knowledge required to come out of that default state (a state of ignorance) and lose weight. I found weight loss empowering, certainly, but I didn't feel the need to blame or feel bad about myself for having been overweight at all. It was like coming out of a cave, and it's not like I put myself in that cave.

    And someone will say, "yeah but duh you weren't ignorant before, you are just making excuses, everyone knows you just need to eat less and move more", but it's one thing to know that intellectually, and it's a completely different thing to apply that principle to your day to day habits. To look at the pasta dish you've been eating for lunch for three years and understand that "holy crap that is over half of what I need to be eating" and experiment with alternatives that won't make you want to kill your colleagues and that will still be tasty and get you where you need to go on the scale. To be able to eyeball the volume of a portion of rice served at a restaurant within a reasonable margin of error. To learn how to negotiate birthdays and work dinners, etc - it takes months of hard work and learning and trial and error for people to really groove that knowledge in, against a tide. All of that is stuff that doesn't just come naturally.

    I can promise you that Dragging my lazy butt to work doesn't come naturally, either, but if I choose not to for months on end and become an unemployed bum, I'm going to have no one else to blame but myself

    One thing I will concede to is my frustration with all the confusing information about weight loss that is out there. I honestly was squarely in the, "you know what, I'd rather stay fat than do that" camp, for a while there. This was during a year+ long plateau while exercising regularly, prior to logging my calories on MFP. Appetite suppressant this, cleanse that, starvation mode whatever, they weren't things I could explain or justify to myself, so I decided I'd just live with the couple dozen extra pounds instead. I read articles from time to time about people choosing to remain somewhat overweight while exercising and maintaining other good habits, and still think it's better than some of the alternatives

    Well, that's exactly it. Knowledge about calorie counting (and macros, which I find does help with sticking to target) is technically available, but you have to know where to find it and what to make of it. It's *extremely* easy for people to see the cabbage soup diet and whatever else first - there's so much profit-motivated sludge out there (and also just sincerely meant bad ideas) messing people up. So people think they have to decide between drinking cider vinegar before every meal, or running for hours every day, and living a normal life. At least the gadget era seems to be over (anyone remember the Thigh Master?).
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    tomatoey wrote: »
    JaneiR36 wrote: »
    tomatoey wrote: »
    senecarr wrote: »
    tomatoey wrote: »
    tomatoey wrote: »
    senecarr wrote: »
    TiJoGa wrote: »
    Whitney Way Thore made a great rebuttal video if anyone is interested in viewing it.
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r2YYZBrPwwU

    What a bunch of ridiculous justifications for being fat. PCOS or not, you don't get fat without stuffing garbage into your body or eating to excess. People just want/expect others to make them feel better about their bad habits. This kind of attitude is what makes the original video even more fitting.

    Pretty sure she said PCOS was not the sole reason she gained weight. She mentioned it because the original video said it wasn't addressing people with health issues that have contributed to them being overweight.

    In most cases, their health issues are the RESULT of them being overweight, not the other way around.

    Uh, that's not necessarily true, like at all.

    Overweight/obesity increase the risk for diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, some fertility issues, some cancers etc. I thought this was common knowledge. Instead, you're saying they're overweight because of their health problems. I don't think so.

    It does happen, with PCOS and thyroid issues, and those aren't exactly unheard of conditions.

    I am so tired, though, of hearing people talk about how overweight people "did it to themselves", even on this site. When the problem is really just living a default life in our society with a human body. This is an obesogenic society, end of. It is statistically normal to be overweight or obese. It kind of blows my mind that people can look at stats like that and think it's down to the individual. It is to anyone's credit when they do take things into their own hands, but that is a countercultural thing to do. I'd even say it's subversive, everyone here knows there are social sanctions for restricting calories / bucking norms.

    sorry, i may have mis-read the sentence in bold... But if overweight people didn't make themselves overweight, then who did? Of course barring the obligatory medical conditions....

    I, myself, me and only me made myself overweight... why?? Because I ate too much! I have nobody and nothing to blame but myself :huh:

    Because of some of the things people have talked about in this thread
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10239541/does-just-immigrating-to-the-usa-lead-to-weight-gain#latest

    I'd say it is a levels of analysis problem. On the scale of making a society or the world healthier, all those things are influences and worth policy discussion. That's a macro level discussion.
    If you're on the MFP board looking to discuss your own personal weight loss, I'd hold that at that micro level, you have to view it as personal accountability. If you're not willing to admit over eating is the fundamental cause, and eating less than you burn until you reach your desired weight is the only fundamental solution, you're incredibly unlikely to succeed.

    Those are different levels of analysis, but I don't think they're contradictory, and I don't know, I don't have a problem recognizing both how stacked the deck is, and how functioning in an unthinking way leads to obesity so often (and did in my case, as well), and that I gained the knowledge required to come out of that default state (a state of ignorance) and lose weight. I found weight loss empowering, certainly, but I didn't feel the need to blame or feel bad about myself for having been overweight at all. It was like coming out of a cave, and it's not like I put myself in that cave.

    And someone will say, "yeah but duh you weren't ignorant before, you are just making excuses, everyone knows you just need to eat less and move more", but it's one thing to know that intellectually, and it's a completely different thing to apply that principle to your day to day habits. To look at the pasta dish you've been eating for lunch for three years and understand that "holy crap that is over half of what I need to be eating" and experiment with alternatives that won't make you want to kill your colleagues and that will still be tasty and get you where you need to go on the scale. To be able to eyeball the volume of a portion of rice served at a restaurant within a reasonable margin of error. To learn how to negotiate birthdays and work dinners, etc - it takes months of hard work and learning and trial and error for people to really groove that knowledge in, against a tide. All of that is stuff that doesn't just come naturally.

    I can promise you that Dragging my lazy butt to work doesn't come naturally, either, but if I choose not to for months on end and become an unemployed bum, I'm going to have no one else to blame but myself

    One thing I will concede to is my frustration with all the confusing information about weight loss that is out there. I honestly was squarely in the, "you know what, I'd rather stay fat than do that" camp, for a while there. This was during a year+ long plateau while exercising regularly, prior to logging my calories on MFP. Appetite suppressant this, cleanse that, starvation mode whatever, they weren't things I could explain or justify to myself, so I decided I'd just live with the couple dozen extra pounds instead. I read articles from time to time about people choosing to remain somewhat overweight while exercising and maintaining other good habits, and still think it's better than some of the alternatives

    Well, that's exactly it. Knowledge about calorie counting (and macros, which I find does help with sticking to target) is technically available, but you have to know where to find it and what to make of it. It's *extremely* easy for people to see the cabbage soup diet and whatever else first - there's so much profit-motivated sludge out there (and also just sincerely meant bad ideas) messing people up. So people think they have to decide between drinking cider vinegar before every meal, or running for hours every day, and living a normal life. At least the gadget era seems to be over (anyone remember the Thigh Master?).


    True, but people could probably exercise regularly and not eat crap tons of pizza (or whatever) and still maintain a relatively low weight. But it's damn hard work, could involve discomfort for more than a few seconds at a time, and there's an aspect of personal responsibility or lack thereof that causes some to give up way too early
  • AlciaMode
    AlciaMode Posts: 421 Member
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    AlciaMode wrote: »
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    Why do people think by pointing out to someone they're fat will shame them into losing weight? I know I'm overweight I don't need anyone telling me. I lose weight for me, not because someone tells me I'm fat.

    My best friend telling me that I am fat is exactly what motivated me to start loosing weight.

    So you didn't realize you were overweight until your best friend told you?

    I realized it just fine. But him pulling me aside to talk about was the smack that got me to do something smarty pants.
  • Smoked33
    Smoked33 Posts: 186 Member
    Had to watch the video to see what all the fuss was about and admittedly I found it humorous. To me the point of this video is to challenge me to honestly admit 'am I doing everything I can to manage my health'?? If the answer is yes... that I always make healthy food choices, measure my food, exercise daily, work with my doctor to manage my health and I'm still overweight?...then I have the right to be offended. But if I make poor food choices, skip a workout here and there, drink more alcohol than I should, don't stretch and haven't had a physical in 3 years...I have no one to blame but myself if I'm carrying more fat that I'd like. I now have a choice... keep fighting and own my issues or cry and b*tch about how nasty this woman is.

    I will own my issues and keep fighting like like I hope the rest of you do.
  • LBuehrle8
    LBuehrle8 Posts: 4,044 Member
    AlciaMode wrote: »
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    AlciaMode wrote: »
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    Why do people think by pointing out to someone they're fat will shame them into losing weight? I know I'm overweight I don't need anyone telling me. I lose weight for me, not because someone tells me I'm fat.

    My best friend telling me that I am fat is exactly what motivated me to start loosing weight.

    So you didn't realize you were overweight until your best friend told you?

    I realized it just fine. But him pulling me aside to talk about was the smack that got me to do something smarty pants.

    That's awesome it worked for you, but for lots, people pointing out they're fat doesn't help. Not trying to argue just saying!
  • hekla90
    hekla90 Posts: 595 Member
    shell1005 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    hac125 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    abatonfan wrote: »
    ...Do people really have this much time on their hands to make videos about something that is ultimately none of their business? Honestly, unless you're a part of that person's medical team (and the patient hasn't expressed wishes to not discuss weight), then it's none of your business.

    I gave up after 1:28 minutes of pure bigotry.


    Yeah sorry people get to a certain weight and its negligence not to mention it. And when you are mega obese and I'm having to lift you because your unhealthy lifestyle has landed you in an ICU, it's my business and you will hear about it. Especially when you snark me out for not being able to move 300 lbs by myself fast enough. Obesity is a massive health concern and you should want a health care team that addresses it with you.

    Obesity is a massive health concern but addressing it by shaming people is not going to work. Most obese people already know they have a problem and do not want unsolicited advice. There is a big difference between humiliating someone about their weight or having a medical team, presumably hired by the obese person addressing the issue. It sounds like you might work in the medical field; are your employers cool with you fat shaming the patients?

    I guess I also blood pressure shame when I treat hypertension and pain shame when I administer pain medications?


    Nope those things are doing your job. Telling an obese patient when you can't move him or her (as part of your job) that they are gonna HEAR ABOUT IT....is not. The fact that you work in the ICU where you come across people at their worst moments is just sad and pathetic to me. For shame.

    Did you read what I said? I said they get grumpy when I explain I can't move them by myself... I have had 400 lb people that demand a 98 lb nurse move them alone when they are fully capable of moving themselves. Yeah, no. Lots of those worst moments can be avoided by taking care of yourself. I don't have much sympathy for those that choose to live unhealthily, choices have consequences.
  • Fuelly
    Fuelly Posts: 7 Member
    Personally, I have a newly found appreciation for brutal honesty anymore. In my opinion, I would rather hear what people are REALLY thinking rather than having them tell me lies. There's no doubt this woman is a bimbo, but her motive is to get a reaction. Apparently her mission is accomplished. For those who take a great deal of offense to this video, perhaps you should spend more time being honest with your situation instead of constantly making excuses for why things are the way they are. I'm in the same boat as you all when defining why I'm here. This woman is a money grubbing, YouTube exploiting, dingbat who wanted to gain popularity by attempting to offend. If you are offended, then she can rest her case. If you take it for what it is, you'll find motivation in it. Don't get sad, get MAD, and do something about it!
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  • DataSeven
    DataSeven Posts: 245 Member
    It's been said that this channel was not in fact, closed by youtube but just made private by the owner, who is claiming that it was taken down for the publicity. Boogie posted screen shots to twitter showing the difference between how her channel comes up, versus a channel that really was banned and the two are not the same.
  • FarTooManyFeet
    FarTooManyFeet Posts: 1 Member

    And you're a nurse?....perhaps you're in the wrong field.

    Yep, nothing wrong with
    hekla90 wrote: »
    shell1005 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    hac125 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    abatonfan wrote: »
    ...Do people really have this much time on their hands to make videos about something that is ultimately none of their business? Honestly, unless you're a part of that person's medical team (and the patient hasn't expressed wishes to not discuss weight), then it's none of your business.

    I gave up after 1:28 minutes of pure bigotry.


    Yeah sorry people get to a certain weight and its negligence not to mention it. And when you are mega obese and I'm having to lift you because your unhealthy lifestyle has landed you in an ICU, it's my business and you will hear about it. Especially when you snark me out for not being able to move 300 lbs by myself fast enough. Obesity is a massive health concern and you should want a health care team that addresses it with you.

    Obesity is a massive health concern but addressing it by shaming people is not going to work. Most obese people already know they have a problem and do not want unsolicited advice. There is a big difference between humiliating someone about their weight or having a medical team, presumably hired by the obese person addressing the issue. It sounds like you might work in the medical field; are your employers cool with you fat shaming the patients?

    I guess I also blood pressure shame when I treat hypertension and pain shame when I administer pain medications?


    Nope those things are doing your job. Telling an obese patient when you can't move him or her (as part of your job) that they are gonna HEAR ABOUT IT....is not. The fact that you work in the ICU where you come across people at their worst moments is just sad and pathetic to me. For shame.

    Did you read what I said? I said they get grumpy when I explain I can't move them by myself... I have had 400 lb people that demand a 98 lb nurse move them alone when they are fully capable of moving themselves. Yeah, no. Lots of those worst moments can be avoided by taking care of yourself. I don't have much sympathy for those that choose to live unhealthily, choices have consequences.

    And you're a nurse?....perhaps you're in the wrong field.

    Ah yes, nurses should risk their health because of the bad choices made by others.

    The video was vaguely amusing in places and nowhere near as offensive as people have made out. I suspect all the butthurt is more about who is delivering the message and not the message itself. Established comedians are far worse about fat people than she is.
  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
    edited September 2015
    I have to admit that while she maybe could have been nicer about the way she said things and maybe someone else could've said it, but I have to agree with her overall message. I am all about loving yourself and being the best self you can be, but really if you're morbidly obese and you can't even walk 10 feet without sitting down there's a problem and it needs to be fixed. Long term, there are serious serious consequences for staying this big - your organs have to work harder (especially your heart and lungs), your joints (especially your knees and hips) take serious wear and tear from carrying that extra weight around and you are way more likely to have serious health risk/complications just due to being that big.

    I am far from perfect . . . I am still pretty big ., . . but I'm working on it. I agree with her that we shouldn't encourage people to continue to be big, but rather encourage making positive and healthy life choices. I hate, hate fat shaming - no one has any right to shame someone because they're big, period. But we need to encourage healthy life choices and being healthy instead of promoting that it's ok to be that big - love yourself for who you are, etc.

    I do love myself, but I also am honest with myself and know that I still have weight to lose. I am darn proud of how far I've come (from 340lbs to just under 260 lbs) but I need to get under the 200 mark and I need to have a healthy body fat percentage. I live in Canada, and have universal health care in Ontario. People who are this big are going to cause unnecessary strain on a health care system that is already crumbling as it is. I made a choice to lose weight and be as healthy as I can be . . . sometimes I fail a little or eat things I know aren't nutritionally sound, but I made that choice and I live with it - an upset stomach, a bad workout, being tired, whatever.

    Loving and accepting ourselves is crucial to progress - but trying to accept that I'm just big and it takes too much work to lose weight, so I'm going to love me at 400lbs and everyone else should too isn't healthy and isn't good. I know it sounds mean and maybe shouldn't come from someone who still is big but as I've lost the weight and made the positive and long lasting (let's hope!) life changes, I have come to see being morbidly obese in a different light. A couple years ago I had to take a really long, hard look at myself and say I am not in a good place, I am not healthy and I need to change. I am not ever going to hate or not like someone because of their size, but I would absolutely encourage them to make better life and food choices, AND I would hold them accountable to their actions when they say they want to lose weight and be healthier/fitter/more active/etc.
  • melodicraven
    melodicraven Posts: 83 Member
    Ok. Question for everyone who's thinking NBFD and everyone else is just being butthurt crybabies - Would you be ok with her addressing comments like this to a kid? How about to a teenager? I mean she specifically talks about the little fat kid she was forced to sit by and how awful it was. Would it really be ok for her to talk to somebody's kid like this? And if that's not ok, if it would be impolite, rude, or just inappropriate, then why is it alright to berate adult people this way? One doesn't magically become immune to the rules of polite society, or less deserving of courtesy and respect, just because you turn 18 and poof you're an adult now.

    See I get that this was meant to be funny. That's it's just 'comedy'. But this vitriol and meanness happens all the damn time IRL as well. And it's not very funny there. People shouldn't be expected to loathe themselves just because they're fat. That's so counter productive. How are we the fatties supposed to do anything to not be fatties anymore when the mere sight of us in public is so offensive that it demands denunciation and public shaming from the normal, good people just on the off chance that somehow we didn't already know that we were fat. :|

    Meanness is just meanness, no matter how you sugarcoat it.
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  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    edited September 2015
    hekla90 wrote: »
    shell1005 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    hac125 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    abatonfan wrote: »
    ...Do people really have this much time on their hands to make videos about something that is ultimately none of their business? Honestly, unless you're a part of that person's medical team (and the patient hasn't expressed wishes to not discuss weight), then it's none of your business.

    I gave up after 1:28 minutes of pure bigotry.


    Yeah sorry people get to a certain weight and its negligence not to mention it. And when you are mega obese and I'm having to lift you because your unhealthy lifestyle has landed you in an ICU, it's my business and you will hear about it. Especially when you snark me out for not being able to move 300 lbs by myself fast enough. Obesity is a massive health concern and you should want a health care team that addresses it with you.

    Obesity is a massive health concern but addressing it by shaming people is not going to work. Most obese people already know they have a problem and do not want unsolicited advice. There is a big difference between humiliating someone about their weight or having a medical team, presumably hired by the obese person addressing the issue. It sounds like you might work in the medical field; are your employers cool with you fat shaming the patients?

    I guess I also blood pressure shame when I treat hypertension and pain shame when I administer pain medications?


    Nope those things are doing your job. Telling an obese patient when you can't move him or her (as part of your job) that they are gonna HEAR ABOUT IT....is not. The fact that you work in the ICU where you come across people at their worst moments is just sad and pathetic to me. For shame.

    Did you read what I said? I said they get grumpy when I explain I can't move them by myself... I have had 400 lb people that demand a 98 lb nurse move them alone when they are fully capable of moving themselves. Yeah, no. Lots of those worst moments can be avoided by taking care of yourself. I don't have much sympathy for those that choose to live unhealthily, choices have consequences.

    And you're a nurse?....perhaps you're in the wrong field.
    shell1005 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    shell1005 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    hac125 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    abatonfan wrote: »
    ...Do people really have this much time on their hands to make videos about something that is ultimately none of their business? Honestly, unless you're a part of that person's medical team (and the patient hasn't expressed wishes to not discuss weight), then it's none of your business.

    I gave up after 1:28 minutes of pure bigotry.


    Yeah sorry people get to a certain weight and its negligence not to mention it. And when you are mega obese and I'm having to lift you because your unhealthy lifestyle has landed you in an ICU, it's my business and you will hear about it. Especially when you snark me out for not being able to move 300 lbs by myself fast enough. Obesity is a massive health concern and you should want a health care team that addresses it with you.

    Obesity is a massive health concern but addressing it by shaming people is not going to work. Most obese people already know they have a problem and do not want unsolicited advice. There is a big difference between humiliating someone about their weight or having a medical team, presumably hired by the obese person addressing the issue. It sounds like you might work in the medical field; are your employers cool with you fat shaming the patients?

    I guess I also blood pressure shame when I treat hypertension and pain shame when I administer pain medications?


    Nope those things are doing your job. Telling an obese patient when you can't move him or her (as part of your job) that they are gonna HEAR ABOUT IT....is not. The fact that you work in the ICU where you come across people at their worst moments is just sad and pathetic to me. For shame.

    Did you read what I said? I said they get grumpy when I explain I can't move them by myself... I have had 400 lb people that demand a 98 lb nurse move them alone when they are fully capable of moving themselves. Yeah, no. Lots of those worst moments can be avoided by taking care of yourself. I don't have much sympathy for those that choose to live unhealthily, choices have consequences.

    If I had a way to forward those comments to your employer, I would. Enjoy your righteous judgment.

    Wow, just wow.

    I also work in healthcare, on the 911 side. There have been many times I have had to call for help for a "lift assist" because realistically my partner and I can not SAFELY carry a 350+ lb patient down the stairs on our own. I have also had patients and family members get upset at having to wait for extra help. Do I try to stay nice and understanding to the patient? Absolutely. Have I ever said anything unprofessional to them because of that? Absolutely not. However, I not a perfect human being, and yes the thought does cross my mind that in most (not all) cases, the patient put themselves in that position (not the medical emergency they are currently experiencing, but the morbid obesity).
  • AspenDan
    AspenDan Posts: 703 Member
    This is so polarizing and I don't get why..my thoughts after its all said and done are, "a comedian(good or not) made fun of a demographic and offended people?! Meh"
  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
    edited September 2015
    Ok. Question for everyone who's thinking NBFD and everyone else is just being butthurt crybabies - Would you be ok with her addressing comments like this to a kid? How about to a teenager? I mean she specifically talks about the little fat kid she was forced to sit by and how awful it was. Would it really be ok for her to talk to somebody's kid like this? And if that's not ok, if it would be impolite, rude, or just inappropriate, then why is it alright to berate adult people this way? One doesn't magically become immune to the rules of polite society, or less deserving of courtesy and respect, just because you turn 18 and poof you're an adult now.

    See I get that this was meant to be funny. That's it's just 'comedy'. But this vitriol and meanness happens all the damn time IRL as well. And it's not very funny there. People shouldn't be expected to loathe themselves just because they're fat. That's so counter productive. How are we the fatties supposed to do anything to not be fatties anymore when the mere sight of us in public is so offensive that it demands denunciation and public shaming from the normal, good people just on the off chance that somehow we didn't already know that we were fat. :|

    Meanness is just meanness, no matter how you sugarcoat it.

    Maybe - but here's another way to look at it: many studies have shown that a chunk of healthy eating habits develop in child hood/early teenage years, and that these habits can stick with people for many years. With this in mind, perhaps the medium wasn't the best way to go about it but the message is kind of unchanged. Children are developing horrible eating habits - I get parents are responsible for this because children are dependent on parents to make good choices for them - but really, give a man a fish and he eats for a day, however teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

    Again, her medium wasn't the best and her comments were perhaps rude and/or unnecessary, and she may have exaggerated the general public's reaction to fat people in some cases but although we may not say these exact same things to children the message that being obese is not healthy is one that needs to be communicated. Otherwise, we're heading for another generation who will drain the healthcare system even more. I am part of a generation that is not expected to out live our parents. Whether sugar coated or not, that's not good and something has to be done about it. I don't care if you're 200 lbs or 140 lbs - be healthy and make good life choices. That's really what the bottom line. You only get one body - you need to take care of it.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    I watched it all the way through. Bunch of crazy nastiness, followed by the statement that she's she's being nasty because she's trying to help people.

    I love this new "I'm horrible because I'm so good!" thing.

    Who do these people think they're fooling?
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    elphie754 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    shell1005 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    hac125 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    abatonfan wrote: »
    ...Do people really have this much time on their hands to make videos about something that is ultimately none of their business? Honestly, unless you're a part of that person's medical team (and the patient hasn't expressed wishes to not discuss weight), then it's none of your business.

    I gave up after 1:28 minutes of pure bigotry.


    Yeah sorry people get to a certain weight and its negligence not to mention it. And when you are mega obese and I'm having to lift you because your unhealthy lifestyle has landed you in an ICU, it's my business and you will hear about it. Especially when you snark me out for not being able to move 300 lbs by myself fast enough. Obesity is a massive health concern and you should want a health care team that addresses it with you.

    Obesity is a massive health concern but addressing it by shaming people is not going to work. Most obese people already know they have a problem and do not want unsolicited advice. There is a big difference between humiliating someone about their weight or having a medical team, presumably hired by the obese person addressing the issue. It sounds like you might work in the medical field; are your employers cool with you fat shaming the patients?

    I guess I also blood pressure shame when I treat hypertension and pain shame when I administer pain medications?


    Nope those things are doing your job. Telling an obese patient when you can't move him or her (as part of your job) that they are gonna HEAR ABOUT IT....is not. The fact that you work in the ICU where you come across people at their worst moments is just sad and pathetic to me. For shame.

    Did you read what I said? I said they get grumpy when I explain I can't move them by myself... I have had 400 lb people that demand a 98 lb nurse move them alone when they are fully capable of moving themselves. Yeah, no. Lots of those worst moments can be avoided by taking care of yourself. I don't have much sympathy for those that choose to live unhealthily, choices have consequences.

    And you're a nurse?....perhaps you're in the wrong field.
    shell1005 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    shell1005 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    hac125 wrote: »
    hekla90 wrote: »
    abatonfan wrote: »
    ...Do people really have this much time on their hands to make videos about something that is ultimately none of their business? Honestly, unless you're a part of that person's medical team (and the patient hasn't expressed wishes to not discuss weight), then it's none of your business.

    I gave up after 1:28 minutes of pure bigotry.


    Yeah sorry people get to a certain weight and its negligence not to mention it. And when you are mega obese and I'm having to lift you because your unhealthy lifestyle has landed you in an ICU, it's my business and you will hear about it. Especially when you snark me out for not being able to move 300 lbs by myself fast enough. Obesity is a massive health concern and you should want a health care team that addresses it with you.

    Obesity is a massive health concern but addressing it by shaming people is not going to work. Most obese people already know they have a problem and do not want unsolicited advice. There is a big difference between humiliating someone about their weight or having a medical team, presumably hired by the obese person addressing the issue. It sounds like you might work in the medical field; are your employers cool with you fat shaming the patients?

    I guess I also blood pressure shame when I treat hypertension and pain shame when I administer pain medications?


    Nope those things are doing your job. Telling an obese patient when you can't move him or her (as part of your job) that they are gonna HEAR ABOUT IT....is not. The fact that you work in the ICU where you come across people at their worst moments is just sad and pathetic to me. For shame.

    Did you read what I said? I said they get grumpy when I explain I can't move them by myself... I have had 400 lb people that demand a 98 lb nurse move them alone when they are fully capable of moving themselves. Yeah, no. Lots of those worst moments can be avoided by taking care of yourself. I don't have much sympathy for those that choose to live unhealthily, choices have consequences.

    If I had a way to forward those comments to your employer, I would. Enjoy your righteous judgment.

    Wow, just wow.

    I also work in healthcare, on the 911 side. There have been any times I have had to call for help for a "lift assist" because realistically my partner and I can not SAFELY carry a 350+ lb patient down the stairs on our own. I have also had patients and family members get upset at having to wait for extra help. Do I try to stay nice and understanding to the patient? Absolutely. Have I ever said anything unprofessional to them because of that? Absolutely not. However, I not a perfect human being, and yes the thought does cross my mind that in most (not all) cases, the patient put themselves in that position (not the medical emergency they are currently experiencing, but the morbid obesity).

    I rarely work in hospitals anymore, but I have several colleagues who do and due to the increasing girth of patients, the demand for horse body bags has dramatically increased.

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  • brdnw
    brdnw Posts: 565 Member
    i agree with it, i think there are too many enablers that give excuses for overweight people.

    It's not hard to lose weight and to be at a reasonable fitness level, actually, it's incredibly easy.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    I felt like people are over-reacting. So a Youtuber pulls a stunt to get famous and people fall for it. I heard of it today when one of the channels I follow posted a response. Out of curiosity I watched her original video, found some parts to be remotely somewhat funny and the rest felt like it was trying too hard. I thought, she needs more time, practice and experience to get a better sense of what can be considered good comedy, and moved on.

    I did not know it blew up in a ****storm until I saw this post and decided to search around the net. Apparently everyone is talking about it. When a certain topic becomes a taboo people tend to over-react to them. Yeah, fat shaming is bad, skinny shaming is bad, shaming of people with big ears is bad, shaming of that kid with acne is bad... some people should know better and that's that. Fat shaming does not have any special status just because it's more of a taboo than shaming a person with tattoos. This is supposed to be an attempt at comedy, however unsuccessful. Would we see the same backlash if the video was titled "dear white-trash", "dear atheists", or "dear politicians"?

    I personally take comedy at face value. It's either funny or it isn't. Anything else is reading too much into it and making it into something it isn't.
  • Fuelly
    Fuelly Posts: 7 Member
    shell1005 wrote: »
    Fuelly wrote: »
    Personally, I have a newly found appreciation for brutal honesty anymore. In my opinion, I would rather hear what people are REALLY thinking rather than having them tell me lies. There's no doubt this woman is a bimbo, but her motive is to get a reaction. Apparently her mission is accomplished. For those who take a great deal of offense to this video, perhaps you should spend more time being honest with your situation instead of constantly making excuses for why things are the way they are. I'm in the same boat as you all when defining why I'm here. This woman is a money grubbing, YouTube exploiting, dingbat who wanted to gain popularity by attempting to offend. If you are offended, then she can rest her case. If you take it for what it is, you'll find motivation in it. Don't get sad, get MAD, and do something about it!

    Nah, I don't need this kind of motivation. Hate doesn't motivate. In fact, I need no motivation at all ( fat shaming or not....I prefer not)....I need commitment and discipline. She's worthless. And she tries to play off her hate as helping people when the only person she is interested in helping is herself.
    That's respectable. Not everyone see's the value in honesty regardless how brutal it may seem. It's just that I see society embracing being told that everything is wonderful when, in fact, it is not.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    edited September 2015
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    AlciaMode wrote: »
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    AlciaMode wrote: »
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    Why do people think by pointing out to someone they're fat will shame them into losing weight? I know I'm overweight I don't need anyone telling me. I lose weight for me, not because someone tells me I'm fat.

    My best friend telling me that I am fat is exactly what motivated me to start loosing weight.

    So you didn't realize you were overweight until your best friend told you?

    I realized it just fine. But him pulling me aside to talk about was the smack that got me to do something smarty pants.

    That's awesome it worked for you, but for lots, people pointing out they're fat doesn't help. Not trying to argue just saying!

    Yeah, it would have likely had the opposite effect for me.

    Also, I am so far quite pleased by my decision not to watch the video, just based on the comments.
  • donna70s
    donna70s Posts: 84 Member
    I get told by family..... Jeeze your fat don't need complete strangers doing it too
  • kkzmom11
    kkzmom11 Posts: 220 Member
    (I mean, she does have a point, to an extent.....but gawd she is obnoxious. She could present a doctoral thesis and it'd still be vapid and annoying.)


    And it's none of her business so STFU, lady.

    YUP. sort of has a point, but it's really NONE OF HER F'N business.

  • BurnWithBarn2015
    BurnWithBarn2015 Posts: 1,026 Member
    edited September 2015
    It is strange that people accept this and see this as funny
    But lets see how funny it is when we take the words "Fat People" out and replace them for "*kitten*" "jews" or anything else you can think of.

    I dont care if it is about fat people. For me the way she brings and act this is respect less...So up to her...but that people accept this so easily is scary....Happened about 71 years in Europe too.

    Acceptance of what was said about others and finding it totally normal...yes even funny.

  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
    Windy Waythorne has the best possible response to this.

    Nicole Arbor is a horrible person/ bully. She is seeking fame and going about it the wrong way, she is posted on her FB page how she "broke the internet" (no sorry you didn't your youtube page was taken down for hate speech) now she's proud that she's the #1 trending thing on FB... I would never be happy that millions of people where discussing their distastes for me....

    Anyways I will legit avoid any and everything that Nicole Arbor has to do with going forward, boycott any product movie, TV show *kitten* it even the TV station that would be associated with this kind of person.

    I'm a pretty relaxed person but what if her video results in someone killing themselves... would she be happy then? is that the goal? what if it was someone related to her? then it might matter I guess? IDK I am just rambling now.
  • I wonder how many overweight or obese people she has in her life, and how many of those relationships she has now ruined once they see this. Or if she even gives a rip about any of that.