WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2016

barbiecat

GloworminWA wrote: »

Barbie - I missed why you had back surgery but it sounds like they determined that the pain in your legs was related to your back? You seem to be doing awesome with your recovery!

The pain in my back was due to spinal stenosis---several vertebrae narrowing along with bone spurs that were putting pressure on the nerves that manifested as pain in my legs. The surgery was called laminectomy which was removing the offending bone in three vertebrae in my lumbar spine to take the pressure off the nerves, It has been a challenge to me to find the balance between resting and walking and I've had to modify when I over do.

Dr.Katie, my husband took his social security as soon as he was eligible because of his heart issues, he thought he would want less money a month but to start right away...all this stuff is about speculating about how long you'll live....I decided to retire at age 58 after hearing someone talking about "quality of life" and I realized that I'd had enough of my job and money wouldn't buy me what I wanted.....If I had worked for two more years, I'd have $200 a month more in my retirement but I would have missed out on some things that turned out to be important.

Katla, I'm sorry that your daughter made such a strong statement that hurt you so much...come from a place of love in dealing with her and consider that she may be over-stressed and announced what she thought was a logical solution.

Stats for today:
7,000 steps
longest walk--14 minutes
nap with hubby and the pets



Barbie from beautiful NW Washington

Be kind---no exceptions

Katla49

Sue in WA: I hope things work out well for your DH & they are able to get him set up so he has less frequent needs for dilation. (((HUGS)))

Janetr: Thanks for your support. I admit that my daughter's words upset me. As to grandma & grandpa being closer--she lives with the other grandparents. :grumble:

Re & Gloria: Thank you for your support, too. Regarding the non-visiting, my daughter thinks it will be too expensive to fly & too difficult to manage three little kids or to drive. We paid for her flights to visit this year and will likely do it again in the future. :grumble: :ohwell:

KarenE: I hear you about your DH's need to work on muscles that will help him balance. My husband was getting very discouraged and unwilling to try much of anything until relatively recently. He dropped a medicine that was dragging him down a few weeks ago and just yesterday got a new foot brace to help him walk better. It is helping and he's using muscles that haven't been challenged in a long time. I am thrilled. He's gone to bed early because he's tired due to moving and being more active today. The best part is that we both have hope for better quality of life.


We have a phone date to talk with DS and DDIL tomorrow evening about Thanksgiving. We have plans in mind, but we'll see what they're thinking.

Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison

jmkmomm

Katla, who knows what may have been going on in a Mom's mind when she says something like that. Could it be that she was having a 'Calgon take me away' type day and she just couldn't think of traveling with them? Maybe you can just slide in some favorite pictures or memories of the family together at your house and she may then say of course they will be there. I know I have had those days where I don't want to go anywhere with anyone but it's because I have had a bad day, a bad back, terrible day at work and need to destress. I hope it all settles down. It is unfair for anyone to ask that some one pull up their home and move just to be closer to family unless there is a medical need.

DJ, I always thought you lived close to the beach. I guess you don't.

JanetR, you put two pics of signs up because you knew that one of us needed to take one for our own.

Yes, my cramming did help tonight at choir practice. I was able to act like I had at least sung through those songs. But the song Sunday is another story. I am glad it is an easy song for me. We have two 1st altos and 3 2nd altos. Sunday both of the other 2nd altos will be gone. I don't think there are any separate alto parts though. my big problem though is going from the practice room up to the sanctuary. It's quite a flight of stairs. For any new choir members the choir rules are that you have to attend 3 practices before you sing. Tonight was the first time I saw this music. I'm just glad it's an easy song for me. I saw one of the pieces that was added to my music folder, In the garden. That was such a favorite for my parents and they frequently sang it as a duet. They sang it at their 50th wedding anniversary. One time it was sung at our last church and I broke down in tears so bad I had to leave the choir lost. But I didn't know why I cried, now I do. I was crying because my Dad would never see my grand children. At the time I was a first time grandma and quite emotional about it. Mom always had a day care in the church my Dad was a pastor at. He usually had a poorer income church since he didn't have a college degree and other churches wanted college and seminary degree. So the kids in Mom's day care were low income. Dad was always the Grandpa to so many of those little kids who some of them didn't even know who was going to be in Mom's bed each night. He loved having that job. With my children it never mattered how bad his knees or hips. His lap was the place to be. All the kids grew up loving to do the 'search a word' puzzles on his lap with him. His old piece of wood that he put the puzzle book was quite the thing to get when Mom died. She used it after he died. He let any kid do anything they wanted to his hair. My girls put ribbons, hair clips, bobby pins, rollers, anything in his hair. He was such a wonderful Grandpa. And I will be signing one of his favorite song. Two weeks ago a new guy at church sang The King is coming. Kind of glad I wasn't there. That was the song Dad sang the Sunday before he had chest pain, went to the ER, had a cardiac cath which was bad enough they wouldn't let him go home before he had open heart surgery. It was his second heart surgery he didn't make it. Oh, I could talk about Dad all night long but I won't.

Nite, nite, Joyce Indiana

janetr7476

DrKatiebug wrote "Waving at Janet as she passes thru the Peach State. How close to me are you, girl? I'm off of I-85."

I think not very close. In Valdosta right on I-75.

Janetr

GloworminWA

Barbie how did they finally determine that the pain in your legs was actually coming from the problem in your back. I wonder why it took so long to come to that conclusion. I'm so happy for you that the mystery however was finally solved.

I had xrays done on my back a few weeks ago because I kept getting spasms and they show lots of bone spurs on my spine (arthritis) but not the source of the spasms. However the spasms seem to have subsided.

Heading in to read my book so goodnight all!

Gloria in WA

Katla49

:flowerforyou:

margaretturk

(((Katla))) It is hard to live so far from each other for both of you. I live 550 miles from my mom. I know it was not easy to travel when our children were young. I have made that trip to St. Louis at least 50 times in my lifetime. When I was young my grandparents and other relatives lived in Minnesota and I went to college in Minnesota, so I from St. Louis to here at 15 times when I was young. My brothers have only come a couple of times to see us and my sister the same. My parents were much better. They did have brothers and sisters who lived here too. The burden of travel fell mostly to me. Typing this makes me realize why travel does not hold much appeal to me. I think that is why I enjoy seeing other's travel pictures so much.

Karen E I live in Minnesota.

Margaret

dreamwriter

Still having trouble with balancing/fitting everything in. I'll just have to keep working on it.

Heather - Bea is adorable. Does she get that from Granny?

Carey - I am so glad to hear that your eyes are feeling better.

Alison - You are such a good friend and good person. You are under appreciated.

Katla - You have a life where you are and you enjoy it so of course you would be upset when someone suggests that you should give it up. I'm sure your daughter would love to have you closer and more involved in their day-to-day routine. She may change her mind about visiting with 3 kids. My kids loved going to visit their grandparents. It was an adventure and they got somewhat spoiled.

Trying to get everything back on track. Saw the doctor yesterday. Saw the weight loss nurse yesterday. I weighed for the first time in months. Yikes! I can't really claim surprise because I knew I wasn't doing the right things for myself. I am up over 200 lbs again, a 15lb+ gain.
The last few days have involved some running for the grands. Kick boxing for DGS and dance for a DGD. I got to spend a little extra time with her. She gives the best hugs.
My son came over and picked up the legal documents he had me print off. Just in case a certain someone tries the trick from last year. He has the paper that says that Harmony is to reside in Alberta. I wonder how he lives with someone who has broken his trust so much. He is looking at purchasing a home but says he will get her to sign a prenup before that. I love him and want him to be happy. I don't think this is it.
Work, oh, work. I know I should be grateful to have a job but most of the time I think how nice it would be not to go in. Season is upon us and I am not ready.
Not sure what I am going to be for Halloween. My daughter and I were thinking the Queen of Hearts but looks like DGD may do that so it is back to the drawing board.

Good night/morning

-Sharon in Lethbridge

lhannon062709

Good morning, my dears,

Lenora - thank you for that vote of confidence and advice on taking the world as it comes. I forget sometimes that my plans are just that, plans. Plans can change...

Oddly enough, am feeling quite placid about the whole thing. The cold-footed buyers' financing fell through yesterday. Lots of reasons, none the galloping never-get-overs, but it took a bit of pressure off of me. Missouri or Arkansas may be in our future, but not the near future. And I've survived the blast furnace summer for three years now (and three years before) plus I spent four years in Las Vegas while I was with the ex. It's survivable, just not comfortable. Plus - the area is gearing up for the next influx of oil money. Don't know if y'all have heard about the Apache strike (Alpine High) near us down here, but they expect to base hundreds, if not thousands of oilworkers and many of the businesses out of here to work the oil/gas field they've found. We're the nearest town with sufficient facilities to deal with a few thousand out of town workers, so the property could spark interest in those quarters.

Have decided for myself that it's much like when you're in the market for a romance. When you stop looking, that's when things finally happen. So, we'll treat it like we plan to stay here until I hit retirement, which is only five and a half years away (but who's counting).

On the subject of when to take Social Security, the answer for me is "the moment I can." I ran an extrapolation on Excel, and the amount I will get at 62 and the amount if I wait and retire at 65 or 67 evens out after I'm up at about 76 or 77. My mother died just shy of her 72 birthday, and my father lived to 77. We'll see how it all goes, but yeah, I'll be taking the money from the government while they're still handing it out. That's the plan, anyway. Now it's a matter of getting healthier (and slimmer) and outliving that 70-something year mark!

And, it's off to the races... I'm at the cleaning and pricing stage now for the sale, which is still two weeks away, so feeling pretty good about getting the majority of this stuff sold. And, we have a buyer for the DH's mechanic tools and toolbox, at the price we set--our favorite local gearhead. It was the biggest-ticket item of the bunch, and will probably be more than all the rest makes together. And, it gets my husband out of the mechanic biz... which bothers both of us not in the slightest--it's too hard on his body, and was always the fallback position, not what he actually loves to do.

Do love y'all--am trying to remove my head from my nether regions and pay more attention to your lives, without notable success, but I do read everyone's posts, and am with y'all in spirit even when I don't respond individually.

Warm regards from
Lisa in West Texas - where we have two whole days of 70-degree weather coming, then back to the 80s

grandmallie

Morning Ladies~
I am starting to freak out a tad about this weekend...I have less than 24 hrs to get more than probably a weeks worth of stuff done up at the Cape..I am going to call the hospice today and tell them he was raised catholic and maybe the last rites should be delivered.. I will get up there around 3:30 or so and want to spend some time with him....then up to the nursing home to see Ruth. Re~ I will get in contact with you...thank you so very much.. going to stop at Walmart today and see if they have anything inexpensive today for her.
this afternoon I have to go stay with Faith overnight , then work all day friday working until noon saterday and then up there..
I have to take a deep breath and take it an hour at a time this weekend.,,,
I will talk with Ruth about what plans she wants for Ray I know he will be cremated and from there I dont know... he just has a few friends and one brother.. so he was a big golfer and his uncle was the famous golfer Francis Ouimet .. so they have a painting of him at the house that Ray's brother wants...from what the neighbor says the house is in forclosure and if so Ruth doesnt know that.. and if there are things in there that we need to get out before anything happens then I have to go through and find what needs to be gotten out..

klanders30

Barbie I am glad that the X-rays are being taken sooner than later to explain numbness in your feet. Good that tingling in legs gone, that is positive result. I was interested to read about you (and others) talking about early retirement. We are going to be thinking about that seriously in about 3 years and feel fortunate that it is even something we can think about, no matter whether it is practical or feasible, it is wonderful to dream!

My DOS called me all excited last nite, she won a trip anywhere in the US, flight and hotel for two and guess who she asked to go with her?!?! I have to think about it, it is a lot of work to be with her due to her disability but what a treat for her. She sounded so excited and happy! We both agreed a trip to savannah would be lovely, but we will see.

Have a great, empowered, healthy day everyone, NYKAREN

KJLaMore

Good morning all! Happy Thursday! Gee I feel so much better this week. Almost back to normal. Still coughing, but not as bad as before.
Barbie- So glad they have figured out some of your pain problems. It is amazing how "connected" everything is in our bodies.
Becca- I think you mentioned how your pipes/plumbing is messed up because of bubbles coming out of your eyes when you sneeze, (or something to that effect). It is all connected. When my daughter was very young (infant), we got a clue to how messed up her nasal cavities were when she got a cold and the gunk started coming out of her tear ducts and ears. Scared the daylights out of us, but the doc said it happens to kids/people with underdeveloped sinus/ears.
Katla- I agree that your daughter just may be overwhelmed with traveling with three kids. To add to that, I think technology has made it easier for families to be apart. I don't mean easier on the heart, especially for we parents, just easier to feel connected because we have so many ways to do so. So I think the NEED to go home isn't as strong for our kids. My daughter married and moved 1200 miles away. And we don't have the financial means to be the parents/grandparents that can fly/drive to see them more than once a year. It is killing my DH, to have her so far away. But she calls me or texts me about two or three times a day. LOL! 27 years old and she is still a "needy" kid.
All of our conversations about parents, age, retiring gives me a lot to think about. I had good parents. A big family. I spent the early years of my married life putting "space" between my parents and I, as I tried to show them that I could do it on my own (with my husband and baby). Didn't visit often. Wrapped myself up in work and my own little family. Then at 27, I had neither parent. That sent me into a tailspin for a few years (about seven). My DH's father passed a couple years after my own parents and his mother has always been some what stand-offish. So it has always brought tears to think that my kids don't have that "grandparent" bond. DH and I have managed to pay down all of our debt, except our home. We are hoping to be able to do more traveling; but in reality, retirement is probably not going to happen for us. The way we figure things, one of us will need to work about 30 hours/week (or maybe we both will work 15 hours each). I don't mind working. I think if I did not, I would probably get into trouble.
Well, five kids here already, so I better sign off. Hoping this cough goes away in the next couple days. My yard has not been mowed in a couple of weeks and I need to get that done this weekend. Maybe I can get back to walking, also! Have a wonderful day!

KJLaMore

Heather- my home is all about location. Sure we are a five minute walk to the beach, but we are the smallest and ugliest house in the neighborhood! LOL! It is just a basic three bedroom, 1 1/2 bath ranch in the middle of new, LARGE McMansion neighborhoods. We keep it nice, but it is what it is. In another city, our house would be worth maybe $80K-$100K, but because of where we are it is valued at $200K. As I get older, though, I would like to move out of the suburbs and into the city. This city, because it is a beach town, it is quite expensive to buy property here. Ah well. I am still relatively young, and can still push the mower over our acre of lawn. City life can wait a while. Give me time to save $$$!

SSC1958

Thank you to all the well wishers. I now have yet another twice daily activity to add to my already full morning and bedtime routine. I need hot compresses on my eyes and lubricating eye drops. This will be a forever routine. sigh Things were a lot easier when I was younger! Good news is that this routine may prevent a recurrence.

Katla :So glad that your hubby is moving better. I'm sure he's very happy too. Sometimes it takes a while before it finally sinks in.

Allie :So sorry to hear about Ray. Remember to be kind to yourself too!

DJ :We love that you are part of our lives too!

Margaret:Thank you for sharing such beautiful pics. We didn't get a chance to enjoy the colors for long. Trees started turning and then the wind came up and it seemed like overnight all the leaves fell. The next day about 8 inches of snow. Fall is my favorite time of year primarily because of all the colours.

Welcome to everyone new!

Wishing you a successful day!

Carey - Northern Alberta


Goals for Oct:
- Increase walking now that the hamstring has healed
- Get to Tai Chi at least once a week[/quote]

janetr7476

Margaret gorgeous colors. I love the pics. Thanks for sharing.

Janetr okc

MountainMomma58

Re in TX - Thanks for the welcome. I have been racking my brain since yesterday thinking of a little change I can make. I love the idea. What small changes have helped you? A problem I have had in the past, which I have taken up again now that my grandchildren are around, is finishing their food. I think I can stop this, but I wonder if there might be better ideas.

PackerFanInGB

Good morning!

Katla, I know your heart must be broken over the words from your DD. My mother moved away from my brother and I years ago after her and my stepfather retired. She recently sent an email to my brother and I telling us she is "divorcing" us effective immediately because we don't come see her enough. It was shocking and heartbreaking. It's been almost 2 months now and she still will not answer the phone when we call or acknowledge us. It's difficult for us because we still work full time 50-60 hours per week and need our weekends to get things done, and we were not the ones who moved away. They have only come back here to visit twice in over 20 years. But we still visited when we could. So, it's not the same thing I know, but it made me think of my own situation and how heartbroken I am over it all. I hope everything works out the way you want it to! Life is too short for regrets.

I haven't been on in awhile...tends to be a pattern with me. I get so busy and then I feel overwhelmed trying to read all the messages I missed, and then I end up not writing! Today, I just skimmed this particular page of comments (I'm 26 pages behind...) and decided to just say hello and maybe pick up from here when I have the opportunity!

I hope you are all doing well! Have a great Thursday!

Tracie in WI

grandmallie

Morning again ladies~
did a load of laundry that is in the dryer.. and had to get out of the house went to local Walmart, for ha ha's and found 5 size 3 X and 4x nightgowns for 3 bucks a piece, hoping the 3 X will fit Ruth they are knit so hopefully they will and 2 are 4x that zip up the front, here is hoping they do fit.....

Lagopus

Janetr - Trees don't look like that in Svalbard either. :laugh: Ah, the Spanish moss... I remember that and all the other epiphytes from our two years in Miami.

About STUFF and passing things on to our children, when we moved to Norway a decade ago and were closing down our home in Sweden, I asked our kids if there was anything they wanted from their childhood home. Our son stopped by and took a few things. Our daughter got right back to us with a polite but very firm "No, nothing." I was a tiny bit insulted – What, none of our stuff you want to keep? Nothing from your childhood? – but she's an incredibly clear-headed person and very good at keeping clutter to a minimum.

I don't know where she got that. Not from me, certainly. And my husband's no better. Our son has learned that if he's going to attempt a declutter at his house, the very best strategy is to invite his sister over to help. She's wonderful, kind, warm, and caring, and doesn't have a single sentimental bone in her body.

I've got to dash down to the grocery store. It's Thursday (fresh fish day) and at 3:30 pm there's still a little bit of light in the sky. When the sun goes below the horizon a week from now, it'll stay there until late February.

Positive thoughts to all of you who are facing or recovering from surgery, who are struggling with illness, loss, uncertainty, overwork or underemployment, or just the blahs in general. :flowerforyou: While I'm at it, I'll send positive thoughts to everyone who's on top of the world as well!

/Penny at the North Pole

csofled