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R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »Thinking about getting my teen her first cell phone. I'm so over protective when it comes to my kids but I think its time to realize she's not my little girl anymore plus, I need to know where she's at at every hour of the day
Just make sure she stays far away from MFP!
You actually have some good advice this time, captain obvious...
I pretty much always have sound advice to give......its rare that there is a sound mind to listen to it however.....;)
Its funny how the most obvious things are usually the most ignored....6 -
R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »Thinking about getting my teen her first cell phone. I'm so over protective when it comes to my kids but I think its time to realize she's not my little girl anymore plus, I need to know where she's at at every hour of the day
Was thinking about this the other day, at what age do you give your kid a phone?
I was surprised that one of my friends 8 year old daughter had a phone. I get it, it's good to be able to get a hold of your kid, and it's maybe a safety thing too (altho an 8 year old should be in adult supervision, imo) but I was a bit surprised.
And do you/should you look throu your kids phone?
As a teen, I'm assuming that would be a no, don't think it would go over well, but a younger child?
In my opinion, this is another way for parents not to deal with their kids. As adults we have so much going on in our lives that we tend to ignore our kids to some extent. Giving them electronics- game consoles,phones, tablets... is just another way to make day to day life less complicated. Kids are distracted, parents have more time to deal with their issues. I made the mistake of giving my daughter a tablet for her 12th birthday. I didn't monitor her because I was so wrapped up in my own issues... I almost lost my daughter be cause of my negligence and it's a guilt I carry everyday. She has come a long way since then but this is why I refuse to get my 9 yr old anything that you can access any kind of social media platforms or internet access. If you decide to give your kids phones, you have to have that responsibility to make sure they are not in harm's way. A child doesn't know any better and can easily be brainwashed. That's my thoughts on that.5 -
R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »Thinking about getting my teen her first cell phone. I'm so over protective when it comes to my kids but I think its time to realize she's not my little girl anymore plus, I need to know where she's at at every hour of the day
Just make sure she stays far away from MFP!
You actually have some good advice this time, captain obvious...
I pretty much always have sound advice to give......its rare that there is a sound mind to listen to it however.....;)
Its funny how the most obvious things are usually the most ignored....
Confirmation bias
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R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »Thinking about getting my teen her first cell phone. I'm so over protective when it comes to my kids but I think its time to realize she's not my little girl anymore plus, I need to know where she's at at every hour of the day
We told the boys at any time we can check their phones. We've had to pull Snapchat, but not so much as for what my boys do, but just the misc stuff people post on theirs. Truly a cesspool of stuff. They both do FB and IG, and they are pretty safe, comparatively safe. We use Live360 for tracking and both know it is there. Has worked out well enough. Good luck.1 -
R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »Thinking about getting my teen her first cell phone. I'm so over protective when it comes to my kids but I think its time to realize she's not my little girl anymore plus, I need to know where she's at at every hour of the day
Was thinking about this the other day, at what age do you give your kid a phone?
I was surprised that one of my friends 8 year old daughter had a phone. I get it, it's good to be able to get a hold of your kid, and it's maybe a safety thing too (altho an 8 year old should be in adult supervision, imo) but I was a bit surprised.
And do you/should you look throu your kids phone?
As a teen, I'm assuming that would be a no, don't think it would go over well, but a younger child?
In my opinion, this is another way for parents not to deal with their kids. As adults we have so much going on in our lives that we tend to ignore our kids to some extent. Giving them electronics- game consoles,phones, tablets... is just another way to make day to day life less complicated. Kids are distracted, parents have more time to deal with their issues. I made the mistake of giving my daughter a tablet for her 12th birthday. I didn't monitor her because I was so wrapped up in my own issues... I almost lost my daughter be cause of my negligence and it's a guilt I carry everyday. She has come a long way since then but this is why I refuse to get my 9 yr old anything that you can access any kind of social media platforms or internet access. If you decide to give your kids phones, you have to have that responsibility to make sure they are not in harm's way. A child doesn't know any better and can easily be brainwashed. That's my thoughts on that.
Thanks for sharing!
I don't have kids so it's interesting to me...kids today and the difference with all the tech they have compared to what we had.
I remember my friends little girl wanted a coach purse and an iPhone for Christmas when she was 5, lol!
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tinkerhellraiser wrote: »R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »Thinking about getting my teen her first cell phone. I'm so over protective when it comes to my kids but I think its time to realize she's not my little girl anymore plus, I need to know where she's at at every hour of the day
Was thinking about this the other day, at what age do you give your kid a phone?
I was surprised that one of my friends 8 year old daughter had a phone. I get it, it's good to be able to get a hold of your kid, and it's maybe a safety thing too (altho an 8 year old should be in adult supervision, imo) but I was a bit surprised.
And do you/should you look throu your kids phone?
As a teen, I'm assuming that would be a no, don't think it would go over well, but a younger child?
my daughter has a phone, i gave her one when she was 8. it gave me a lot of peace of mind tbh, because she can get hold of me if she needs to. she only has family as contacts and her two best girlfriends, and they text each other emojis mostly. i changed the settings so the phone does not access the internet, and if she wants to buy an app it pings my phone for approval first anyways.
there are other good things too. she texts me a lot, little sweet messages, even from the other room. we send pics that are funny and music we like. there’s a few apps i got her for school that practice times tables, grammar and touch typing and she plays-to-learn with those. she also programs in scratch and can test projects on her phone. don’t believe in demonizing tech, so i hate the idea of making it seem like computers and phones are this big scary thing instead of teaching boundaries and learning how to properly lock down a device.
That's awesome! And tech is awesome imo, and something that is favourable...
(random...have a side story to tell you one day!)
...but being able to know how to lock it down properly for the kids, thats great!
Having said that, do you worry that kids (or their friends) can figure that out easy peasy? How to get around security measures?
About your daughter texting you...so freaking sweet!! My friends daughter does the same, just random cute messages throughout the day, sometimes calls, basically just to say hi!...Its adorable. Her sons...not so much!0 -
777Gemma888 wrote: »ValentineMomma wrote: »Hi everyone, I'm venting...
My mom and step dad are probably going through a divorce.They've been separated for going on 2 years. However, my children know my step dad as their grandfather. He has been there for them in such loving ways, and has always loved and appreciated them. My mom can be very toxic, and to be honest, I knew this day was coming, that my mom and step dad would divorce. Why? because my mom is a person who never apologizes, causes a lot of drama, always plays the victim, and never takes responsibility for the chaos she causes. So, bring us to current day, and my mom is angry that she is likely headed for divorce. My son had his birthday party recently and everyone except my step dad came. My son was very sad, but grandpa did come to the house before the party (a week before), with a cake, a gift, and we had dinner and enjoyed his company. After the party my mom asks if I invited my step dad. I say yes, and explain how he came over, etc. Long story short, she screamed at me (I'm 40 years old, married 14 years) said I betrayed her, etc, etc. I stayed calm, and she continued screaming, then proceeded to hang up. A few days later, my sister calls me, tells me shes on mom's side, since she's "loyal". My mom texts me saying I betrayed her, and thanks my sis for being on her side. My mom's argument and my sister's argument, is that I should not be keeping in contact with my stepdad. I tried to explain that my boys did nothing wrong and they are allowed to keep their relationship with their grandpa (my stepdad). Well suffice it say, my mom, my two sisters, and my grandmother are up in arms about my position. I was so furious when my sister told me everyone was mad at me I said I DON'T GIVE A F@#$, OK!! MY BOYS CAN HAVE THEIR GRANDPA!
My mom sent me a text, and I only read part of the text, because I was deleting the text. It read, "I wonder if your children...." . I cannot get it out of my head...she's removing the relationship to them as her grandkids, and saying YOUR children. WTF!!! I can't stand that she gets in my head. My sister also sent me a barrage of nasty texts. I put my mom and my sister's numbers as spam numbers, so I don't get their calls or texts. For the last 2 weeks I've been angry, but basically keeping to just my hubby and my biological dad. Today was the first day I cried. I'm crying now. I'm sad. Why are they doing this to me?
To my boys? Why would they want to see them sad? This hurts so deep. For those with kids, you know what it's like to protect your kids...but this effects me at a visceral level. I'm thinking, don't F@#$ with my children. They're little.
Your mum and sisters are gaslighting you. You can't appease everyone. You have your children's emotional growth to consider. He is their grandpa. Children don't understand separation or divorce. The other adults in your life need to grow up. Why force your children to choose sides? It's juvenile .
Hugs.
THANK YOU For your reply...I've never heard of gaslighting, but I read the definition and that's what's happening. I know I'm right, but it still bothers me. I wanna say I'm not second guessing myself, but I am. Thank you for being honest and straight forward. Hugs1 -
how news is absolute *kitten* and you have to divine the truth in your own capacity1
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tinkerhellraiser wrote: »R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »Thinking about getting my teen her first cell phone. I'm so over protective when it comes to my kids but I think its time to realize she's not my little girl anymore plus, I need to know where she's at at every hour of the day
Was thinking about this the other day, at what age do you give your kid a phone?
I was surprised that one of my friends 8 year old daughter had a phone. I get it, it's good to be able to get a hold of your kid, and it's maybe a safety thing too (altho an 8 year old should be in adult supervision, imo) but I was a bit surprised.
And do you/should you look throu your kids phone?
As a teen, I'm assuming that would be a no, don't think it would go over well, but a younger child?
my daughter has a phone, i gave her one when she was 8. it gave me a lot of peace of mind tbh, because she can get hold of me if she needs to. she only has family as contacts and her two best girlfriends, and they text each other emojis mostly. i changed the settings so the phone does not access the internet, and if she wants to buy an app it pings my phone for approval first anyways.
there are other good things too. she texts me a lot, little sweet messages, even from the other room. we send pics that are funny and music we like. there’s a few apps i got her for school that practice times tables, grammar and touch typing and she plays-to-learn with those. she also programs in scratch and can test projects on her phone. don’t believe in demonizing tech, so i hate the idea of making it seem like computers and phones are this big scary thing instead of teaching boundaries and learning how to properly lock down a device.
Thank you for sharing the positive side of it. I'm looking forward to receiving her random day thoughts, memes and "mom, stop" messages lolChael2dot0 wrote: »R3d_butt3rfly wrote: »Thinking about getting my teen her first cell phone. I'm so over protective when it comes to my kids but I think its time to realize she's not my little girl anymore plus, I need to know where she's at at every hour of the day
We told the boys at any time we can check their phones. We've had to pull Snapchat, but not so much as for what my boys do, but just the misc stuff people post on theirs. Truly a cesspool of stuff. They both do FB and IG, and they are pretty safe, comparatively safe. We use Live360 for tracking and both know it is there. Has worked out well enough. Good luck.
Thanks! I'll look into the Live360.2 -
ValentineMomma wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »ValentineMomma wrote: »Hi everyone, I'm venting...
My mom and step dad are probably going through a divorce.They've been separated for going on 2 years. However, my children know my step dad as their grandfather. He has been there for them in such loving ways, and has always loved and appreciated them. My mom can be very toxic, and to be honest, I knew this day was coming, that my mom and step dad would divorce. Why? because my mom is a person who never apologizes, causes a lot of drama, always plays the victim, and never takes responsibility for the chaos she causes. So, bring us to current day, and my mom is angry that she is likely headed for divorce. My son had his birthday party recently and everyone except my step dad came. My son was very sad, but grandpa did come to the house before the party (a week before), with a cake, a gift, and we had dinner and enjoyed his company. After the party my mom asks if I invited my step dad. I say yes, and explain how he came over, etc. Long story short, she screamed at me (I'm 40 years old, married 14 years) said I betrayed her, etc, etc. I stayed calm, and she continued screaming, then proceeded to hang up. A few days later, my sister calls me, tells me shes on mom's side, since she's "loyal". My mom texts me saying I betrayed her, and thanks my sis for being on her side. My mom's argument and my sister's argument, is that I should not be keeping in contact with my stepdad. I tried to explain that my boys did nothing wrong and they are allowed to keep their relationship with their grandpa (my stepdad). Well suffice it say, my mom, my two sisters, and my grandmother are up in arms about my position. I was so furious when my sister told me everyone was mad at me I said I DON'T GIVE A F@#$, OK!! MY BOYS CAN HAVE THEIR GRANDPA!
My mom sent me a text, and I only read part of the text, because I was deleting the text. It read, "I wonder if your children...." . I cannot get it out of my head...she's removing the relationship to them as her grandkids, and saying YOUR children. WTF!!! I can't stand that she gets in my head. My sister also sent me a barrage of nasty texts. I put my mom and my sister's numbers as spam numbers, so I don't get their calls or texts. For the last 2 weeks I've been angry, but basically keeping to just my hubby and my biological dad. Today was the first day I cried. I'm crying now. I'm sad. Why are they doing this to me?
To my boys? Why would they want to see them sad? This hurts so deep. For those with kids, you know what it's like to protect your kids...but this effects me at a visceral level. I'm thinking, don't F@#$ with my children. They're little.
Your mum and sisters are gaslighting you. You can't appease everyone. You have your children's emotional growth to consider. He is their grandpa. Children don't understand separation or divorce. The other adults in your life need to grow up. Why force your children to choose sides? It's juvenile .
Hugs.
THANK YOU For your reply...I've never heard of gaslighting, but I read the definition and that's what's happening. I know I'm right, but it still bothers me. I wanna say I'm not second guessing myself, but I am. Thank you for being honest and straight forward. Hugs
😊Hugs.
Reactive response on my part. I find it loathsome, regardless of kinship, that some fixate on what is perceived as your disadvantageous position. It is not; it was not.3 -
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I believe i will have some type of McDonald's hamburger tonight4
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Dinner ... Shrimp with rice, fried catfish and I will help myself to the chocolate cake my friend baked.
And ... Some people have impeccable timing ... The eve of .... Wow!! FFS, I am too old for drama from my father's side, today of all days. I was just sharing with a friend last week, "I usually dislike tomorrow. " True to form, they're at it again. Smh. They can't just think to move into our paternal village cabin. So weird. Who does that?
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It's sooooo good. Not a bad first cake taste in absolutely ages. 😋
:laugh: The cake is called, " Better than sex." It hit the spot tonight. :laugh:1 -
ME TOO1 -
Chocolate!
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I think I outta put a profile pic onhere1
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Now that my pinky toe blister has healed, time to up the ante @workout + eating plan. Reversion to my 2012-2013 approach to dropping fat weight. 👏👏👏0
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