Are men afraid to ask for a women's number?

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  • Unknown
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  • MalkinMagic71
    MalkinMagic71 Posts: 1,433 Member
    happilymegan wrote: »
    MalkinMagic71 wrote: »
    happilymegan wrote: »
    MalkinMagic71 wrote: »
    I stutter when in the presence of a cute/hot girl. It's awful haha.

    You're adorable

    haha. It's not adorable when I stutter like that. It's nerves or something I guess, but it's the main reason I don't approach anyone. I can feel the nerves/stutter coming on before I even open my mouth. It's bad lol.

    I would think it's charming. It would totally work on me. But I like awkward.

    @happilymegan ....well to be fair I wouldn't approach you because I would think you were wayyyyyyyyyyy out of my league to begin with.. so i wouldnt even get to charm you with my stutter lol.
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
    I think my RBF keeps the phone number askers away.
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  • MalkinMagic71
    MalkinMagic71 Posts: 1,433 Member
    happilymegan wrote: »
    MalkinMagic71 wrote: »
    happilymegan wrote: »
    MalkinMagic71 wrote: »
    happilymegan wrote: »
    MalkinMagic71 wrote: »
    I stutter when in the presence of a cute/hot girl. It's awful haha.

    You're adorable

    haha. It's not adorable when I stutter like that. It's nerves or something I guess, but it's the main reason I don't approach anyone. I can feel the nerves/stutter coming on before I even open my mouth. It's bad lol.

    I would think it's charming. It would totally work on me. But I like awkward.

    @happilymegan ....well to be fair I wouldn't approach you because I would think you were wayyyyyyyyyyy out of my league to begin with.. so i wouldnt even get to charm you with my stutter lol.

    Meh, you might change your mind in real life. I'm really short and I almost never wear makeup.

    @happilymegan... neither of those sound like a bad thing lol. People who put layers upon layers upon layers of make up on their face.. not a fan.
  • sw33tp3a1
    sw33tp3a1 Posts: 5,065 Member

    Kasner1975 wrote: »
    happilymegan wrote: »
    Kasner1975 wrote: »
    I wish I had balls like @Hi_jakker ... I've never been able to do it. Not once. I honestly couldn't fathom starting a conversation with a woman on my own.

    I feel the same way! I could never imagine myself walking up to guy and starting a conversation. Unless I was drunk. Then everything is game.

    Not even drunk. I can be a little more social if I'm approached, but still no.

    I'm the same way. My shyness and self preservation still takes over when I'm drunk in a social environment. It's the reason I never go to bars. They scare me lol

  • Savage__AF
    Savage__AF Posts: 96 Member
    I stutter and say dumb shìt when I hit on women because I am ridiculously shy.
  • uggins311
    uggins311 Posts: 2,204 Member
    nope, i have no shame.... just afraid of the eye roll that normally comes after asking
  • newbie3122
    newbie3122 Posts: 480 Member
    I ask for women's number very often (not randomly, just the ones I feel attracted to). Sometimes I get rejected right away with just a 'sorry'; sometimes I get a fake number (these are the worst lol)...

    I think that it is the fear of rejection that turns men away from asking #s
  • moya_bleh
    moya_bleh Posts: 1,375 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Rejection builds character. Everyone gets rejected at some point in their lives over something. People need to learn coping mechanisms for this instead of always being afraid to live!
    You could miss out on something amazing if you are always terrified of trying. Is someone saying "no" that big of a deal in the whole scheme of life?

    When you're a man, you are rejected over and over and over and over and over again unless you are one of the top 20% that women go for. See this study from okcupid that shows that women deem 80% of men as being below average attractiveness:

    https://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

    OK, that study is from the online environment, but it still reflects general attitudes.

    Constant rejection doesn't build character, it gradually beats you down until you start to believe that you are nothing. Look at the video that I posted a few pages ago - women openly telling men to **** off for saying hi. That's what we're up against, who'd want to risk hateful reactions that? On a constant basis?


  • jojo_kate
    jojo_kate Posts: 3 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Cerealsensei wrote: »
    This thread is making me wonder if i've ever outright approached a woman and asked for her number. The only time i remember trying was back in middle school and she gave me a fake number, it's been downhill ever since lol.

    same here

    I don't think I ever had.

    or will.

    But that's okay..... I really don't need to anyway





    I carry chloroform in my briefcase

    This really made me giggle.... if I weren't married I would def. give you my number! :wink:
  • moya_bleh
    moya_bleh Posts: 1,375 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    moya_bleh wrote: »
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Rejection builds character. Everyone gets rejected at some point in their lives over something. People need to learn coping mechanisms for this instead of always being afraid to live!
    You could miss out on something amazing if you are always terrified of trying. Is someone saying "no" that big of a deal in the whole scheme of life?

    When you're a man, you are rejected over and over and over and over and over again unless you are one of the top 20% that women go for. See this study from okcupid that shows that women deem 80% of men as being below average attractiveness:

    https://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

    OK, that study is from the online environment, but it still reflects general attitudes.

    Constant rejection doesn't build character, it gradually beats you down until you start to believe that you are nothing. Look at the video that I posted a few pages ago - women openly telling men to **** off for saying hi. That's what we're up against, who'd want to risk hateful reactions that? On a constant basis?


    Cant help but wonder what kind of women would be so cruel. Probably not the ones you would want to say yes. Probably the ones who want a trophy instead of a relationship.
    And based on everyone's previous answers it sounds like most of these men aren't being rejected, because they aren't even trying. Fear of rejection is holding them back.

    Of course fear of rejection is holding us back. If you know in advance that the greatest chance of a response is being told to "**** off" for simply saying hello, then why subject yourself to that? No, seriously. Why?
  • iworkout8781
    iworkout8781 Posts: 1 Member
    I only approached a girl if we had Eye contact, and I could make her smile.
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  • JLAJ81
    JLAJ81 Posts: 2,477 Member
    I don't get fear of rejection. I mean it just doesn't compute with me. The worst that can happen is that you are rejected. Move on and go to the next one. If you are being rejected too often maybe wait until you've built a good connection before asking. Also work on how to have conversations and how to keep them going so there isn't any awkwardness.
  • Savage__AF
    Savage__AF Posts: 96 Member
    LL5lifts wrote: »
    I think you shy guys should use a jedi mind trick. If you want to ask a girl for her number but you are too shy, think to yourself ...."I'm gonna ask that girl if I can see her vajayjay. Wait no. Thats too much. I'll just ask her for her number right now and we'll deal with the rest later...." That way asking for the number doesn't really seem like such a big deal as asking to see her vajayjay.

    F that! I'm going all the way!
  • Hungry_Angler
    Hungry_Angler Posts: 175 Member
    Most of my single buddies are just idiots when it comes to talking to women. Since when is the word "no" a bad thing? It's like playing the lottery. You keep playing until you hit the jackpot.
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  • Hungry_Angler
    Hungry_Angler Posts: 175 Member
    edited January 2017
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    Hungry_Angler wrote: »
    Most of my single buddies are just idiots when it comes to talking to women. Since when is the word "no" a bad thing? It's like playing the lottery. You keep playing until you hit the jackpot.

    Whatever Bill Cosby...no means no. No matter how good you think your pudding pop is.

    I don't think I made myself clear. If she says no then move on to the next one. For some fear of rejection is just too daunting.
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
    moya_bleh wrote: »
    LeWahnderful wrote: »
    I believe with the plethora of social networks and dating sites, men just don't approach women as much anymore to get their 'digits'. Has anyone else noticed this ?

    We don't have to worry about rejection these days, but also the risk of being labelled a creep/sex-pest. It isn't worth the risk.

    Check out the reactions of the women at the start of this video. Why subject yourself to that?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmP1ier3R30

    you only have to be worried about being labeled a creep if you refuse to take 'No' as an answer. If a woman, or a guy, says no, please don't be that *kitten* who says "c'mon baby, don't be like that' or call her a *kitten* or something along those lines.
  • gottennis_2
    gottennis_2 Posts: 204 Member
    chrissyw30 wrote: »
    Maybe they are afraid of being rejected? Last week I had a guy approach me at the gas station and ask if he could use my phone because he was having car troubles and his phone battery was dead...he made about a three second call and said he couldn't reach them..later that night he called me back to "thank" me for letting him use my phone and offer to buy me lunch etc..so apparently he called himself from my phone.. lol.

    Damn!!...That is just plain creepy
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  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    I am WAY too shy and introverted to approach anyone in real life. So no, when I am single I only meet women online. I never approach a woman and ask for her number.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    jtegirl1 wrote: »
    All I know is, if a woman says F off just because a guy says hi to her, she's a complete and total *kitten*. Why would you want her anyway? Whether I'm attracted to someone or not, if they say hi, I always say hi back. It's common courtesy. As someone who pretty much never gets approached by guys, I would be thrilled to have some of the guys on this thread say hi to me and/or start a conversation. I get really tired of guys looking at me, but never talking to me. I bet there are tons of women in my same boat.

    Hi.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I've been married or in a relationship since about 1976. I can't remember ever asking for a woman's phone number. I met women in my everyday life. Work. Soccer. TKD. School. Became friends first.
  • gottennis_2
    gottennis_2 Posts: 204 Member
    jtegirl1 wrote: »
    All I know is, if a woman says F off just because a guy says hi to her, she's a complete and total *kitten*. Why would you want her anyway? Whether I'm attracted to someone or not, if they say hi, I always say hi back. It's common courtesy. As someone who pretty much never gets approached by guys, I would be thrilled to have some of the guys on this thread say hi to me and/or start a conversation. I get really tired of guys looking at me, but never talking to me. I bet there are tons of women in my same boat.

    Hi!!

    Always looking for a good conversation
  • LeonardRoan
    LeonardRoan Posts: 53 Member
    I'm an old guy (49) and been married for 22 years. When I was in the dating scene asking young ladies for their number was common and basically our only method. LOL We did not have all of the social media that is available now. I don't know what I would do if I became single again! LOL
  • cmmull67
    cmmull67 Posts: 170 Member
    LL5lifts wrote: »
    I think you shy guys should use a jedi mind trick. If you want to ask a girl for her number but you are too shy, think to yourself ...."I'm gonna ask that girl if I can see her vajayjay. Wait no. Thats too much. I'll just ask her for her number right now and we'll deal with the rest later...." That way asking for the number doesn't really seem like such a big deal as asking to see her vajayjay.

    After nearly 50 years on this planet, that is one of the best lines of advice I've read, with a good touch of humor thrown in.
  • cmmull67
    cmmull67 Posts: 170 Member
    LeonardRoan wrote: »
    I'm an old guy (49) and been married for 22 years. When I was in the dating scene asking young ladies for their number was common and basically our only method. LOL We did not have all of the social media that is available now. I don't know what I would do if I became single again! LOL

    It's tough as hell. I'm 49 as well, and you would think it gets easier, what with women supposedly past all the games and such.
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