WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2017

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  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,657 Member
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    Hi Gals,

    Allie – I hope for you that Tom can be happy, but a “thing” will only give temporary happiness, real happiness comes from within.

    Michele – I’m going to say something that might sound judgmental, and I really don’t mean it to be, but just a point of view to offer up a different way to look at this. This is how I see the wedding money issue: either you are “gifting” $15K to Denise and dh to be, or are you paying $15K of wedding expenses… If you are paying $15K of wedding expenses the bills should be sent to you and you pay them… when the bills equal $15K you are done, if they don’t turn in bills to equal $15K you don’t “owe” them the difference. If you are gifting the money, it’s theirs – no strings, no hurt feelings, no dipping back into the well by them… If they use it in a way that seems not “smart” it’s really no ones business but theirs…

    I know you are hurt by the situation with both Brian, Denise and Denise’s MIL, but sometimes stepping back and staying out of lets them find their own way.

    Barbie – sorry to hear Jake is not having continued improvement, but am so impressed with the flexibility and good choices you make to take care of both you and him.

    Cheri – your comment about your mom and some other comments about counselors got me thinking about what my therapist got me to understand, that my mom (in the past and currently) does act and say things that are awful, but they are the best she can do at the moment. She is like most folks she doesn’t sit around dreaming up ways to be hurtful or mean, but based on her beliefs, upbringing and understanding does and says things that seem right to her.

    Kelly – Joaquin is adorable

    Heather – I had not seen the pic of grandbabies and folks… what a great shot!

    Gloria – Please don’t feel that you are taking rather than giving, I know I don’t feel that way about your contributions!!!

    Lisa – congrats

    Mia – you can do this!!! I did a 5k with no training once, I was exhausted after, but you can do it.

    Heather – great job on helping out your DOS!

    Yvonne – I hear you on taxes and social security, and here the property tax is high also… I pay everything in installments and even then can’t always make them… I did get a part time job with a company this year and had them take extra out of each paycheck, so the check is very tiny but it helped a ton with the irs bill!

    Sarah – no words….((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))


    Well it is a blowing winter storm here tonight, when it is like this I am always so thankful I am not homeless, I think of the folks I see here and there that appear to be homeless and I am so glad for a solid roof and walls. I’m planning on being home tomorrow, not setting my alarm (a real treat) so I’ll probably sleep in until 6..



    Smiles

    Kim from N. California
  • GloworminWA
    GloworminWA Posts: 704 Member
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    B)
  • klanders30
    klanders30 Posts: 2,569 Member
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    Happy Friday, my vacation starts at 5:00 today and boy am i looking forward to it.

    The fiddle fest was a big success, I was very proud of the kids. It is tough, my long time colleague is retiring at the end of the year and the old comfortable easy working relationship amongst my team is just not the same. I will be taking a page from Kelly and "flip" the situation to view it in a more positive light- just need a little time to figure that part out :#

    Beth boy, your husband is really embracing some change, eating, exercising and now sitting down with a financial plan- you are having great influence with him. I wish you much luck with the budget-a long and winding road <3

    Lanette I am not from a musical family but had the good fortune when a violinist moved next door to us when I was 13- I couldn't stay away, I was hooked the minute I heard the sound, I took care of her pets and plants and she started to give me lessons. Music was my refuge and my ticket out of my childhood and has guided my life choices ever since!!

    NYKAREN


  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,801 Member
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    morning ladies~ working 9-5 today and have to get DGD on bus ,stop at Post Office and vet before that... nose is running as the trees are budding..
  • lhannon062709
    lhannon062709 Posts: 1,140 Member
    edited April 2017
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    Sarah, Carol - It may be of no help at all, but I did a lot of research on obesity and first causes before I had my gastric bypass in 2005. Even then, they acknowledged that more than 25 percent of those who are morbidly obese are childhood abuse survivors. Whether sexual, physical or emotional abuse, trauma ripples through our lives. I believe they're finding the numbers are even higher than that. A staggering 73 percent of those who can't deal with the rapid weight loss and end up being hospitalized for psychiatric issues post-bariatric surgery are abuse survivors.

    I've told the story here more than once, but reflection, both with and separate from therapy, showed me that I had put my personal fat suit on to protect myself from my father. Until he died in late 2004, I wasn't able to contemplate becoming thin, other than one period in the mid-1990s where I lived in England for three years, half a world away from him. The moment I returned to the U.S., I put the weight right back on.

    Essentially, abuse survivors aren't using food as a crutch to soothe our pain, we armor ourselves behind a wall of flesh that feels protective. We feel more imposing, less vulnerable, when we are larger people. And the brain is really, really good at going back to that mode whenever we feel threatened or even stressed. Eventually, food becomes our only coping tool--it's one of the reasons they've identified for those who end up in psychiatric care after they lose a significant amount of weight very quickly from bariatric surgery. They are unable to eat significant amounts in order to cope, and have constructed no other mechanism to deal with stress.

    Didn't mean to write a research paper! A lot of what I just wrote about came from a story in The Atlantic. Loved the ending. "She says the abuse will always tug at her, but today its power is diminished. 'That's just stuff that happened to you,' she said. 'It isn't you.'"

    Love y'all,
    Lisa
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,353 Member
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    I'm off soon for a short trip to see the grandchildren. :D Will get there to pick up Max from school, stay the night and have Saturday with them before coming home at tea time. <3<3<3

    Taking the melamine plates and the croissants! And my beach shoes and sun hat!

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
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    Stronglift Rest Day

    Kettlebell Swing
    Goblet squats-6X5X 35
    Russian kettle bell swing-32X7X 35

    40lbs loss by May 27 Challenge
    Buns, Guns and Abs challenge.
    30 squats
    Rest day push-ups
    35 leg lifts

    April move your @$$ Challenge
    I am going to take 2-2 mile walks today.

    I finally dropped another 0.6 pounds today!

    <3

    Mary from Minnesota
  • BBRRT
    BBRRT Posts: 3 Member
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    I have just started the program yesterday, and I am learning to bookmark and manipulate these boards! :) I love the idea of having all of the support and folks to talk with to support each other! I have previously lost weight. I went from 244 down to 165 over a 2 year period. I have gained back up to 181. I have identified a problem that I have never fixed. I have a bewitching hour between 2 to 6 pm, where I cannot stop eating sweets. Sometimes it is truly uncontrollable! My goal for this month is to try and break that sugar addiction. I will record my food in my fitness pal, I will continue to get 30 active minutes in fit bit 5 x per week, and try to get 8000 steps a day minimum. I am starting day 2 of no processed sugar!
  • BBRRT
    BBRRT Posts: 3 Member
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    Can you respond to a particular post without going to the end of the page?
  • janetr7476
    janetr7476 Posts: 4,001 Member
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    BBRRT wrote: »
    Can you respond to a particular post without going to the end of the page?

    No, you can hit quote as I just did but it will copy the entire post and will always place it at the bottom of the page. For example, if you are responding to a comment on page 8 and there are 10 pages on the thread, your response will appear at the very end of all comments on page 10.

    Welcome to a group of supportive , encouraging ladies. A name we can call you and a location helps us identify you and respond to you more easily. Good job on getting control of the sugar habit now. Hang in there.

    Janetr okc
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,091 Member
    edited April 2017
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    I meant Sarah in my most recent post and not Sharon. I am sorry for the confusion.

    Sarah what a wonderful way of turning your experience to helping others and that you found your own way of focusing on your own wellness. (clapping and cheering)

    Lisa I agree with everything you said. I think it is not just abuse, but trauma too. While on this site I lost 35 pounds, but after going through a series of traumatic effects I regained the weight. I did not binge or turn to junk food in this period, but the weight returned none the less. I know this was a protective reaction of my body. It is also part of my knee problem. It is the left knee. Maybe because I wanted to believe it and it made sense in my particular situation I read troubles with your left knee is a sign of adrenal fatigue. Adrenals are effected by stress.

    Some of the stress is better. Some of it is chronic. I do as many coping strategies as I can and they really have helped. I also have a good support system. (All of your included)

    The weight gain stopped and I am working at healing my knee and I believe the weight will follow as I heal.

    Sarah I like your shotgun analogy. It is having the self knowledge you have these sore points and scars and rather then let them disfigure your life you turn them into something beautiful. YEAH!

    Your DH is lucky to have found such a wonderful women.

    :heart: Margaret
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,422 Member
    edited April 2017
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    Michele in NC - here's the link again to the "Sweet Freedom Summit": http://sweetfreedomsummit.com/?utm_campaign=SWEET17&utm_medium=InviteBox&utm_source=visitor . Since I signed up I'm getting a lot of offers for this and that, so not sure how much substance it will have vs. it being a marketing tool for the gal who is organizing it. Might be a rehash of what most of us already know.

    Rori - that is the cutest photo of you relaxing in Hawaii!! Looks like it was a great place to get batteries recharged.

    Beth - congrats on sitting down with DH and working out that retirement plan. Helps to have both of you on the same page. My latest tactic is, when DH comes up with an idea I don't think is feasible, to say "Interesting, let me think about it" he generally forgets or comes up with something new. When in doubt, stall, LOL. >:) He's not a good money manager and he's the first to admit it. I'm the one doing the spreadsheet and I keep it close. II need to update it and get a copy to our young BFF who has power of attorney.

    Chris - way to go, you've done a wonderful job in reaching your goals. You inspire me! Congrats and enjoy that hot shower!

    Lisa, wow - thanks for that in-depth information about abuse and sharing your story as well. ((((hugs)))) to you and everyone dealing with these issues. <3 And Sarah, more on your story as well. We are so lucky to have this group.

    Has anyone heard from Rita? Hope she's enjoying her great motorhome adventure and having safe travels. Miss her!

    A big windstorm is hitting here about noon - Katla, you'll get it first from what I can tell. Pip, hope your bicycle ride home isn't into the headwind. Sue, Anita, Gloria, Barbie and the rest of you in the Pacific Northwest-stay safe and watch for falling trees. I need to run to town this morning and DH says don't dawdle as the road I travel has lots of leaning trees and them falling onto cars is not uncommon. Hoping our greenhouse plastic stays put.

    Have a great Friday everyone!!

    Lanette
    SW WA State ready to hold onto her hat.


  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
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  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
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    Heather: The inability to digest milk products is something I share with scores of others around the world. I don't think either one of my parents had this problem, or if they did, they ignored it. Mom always used margarine rather than butter and I think it was for economic reasons. Milk envy is just something I have to deal with. Cheese is okay for me. Whatever turns the milk into cheese solves my digestive problems. The harder the cheese, the less likely it is to cause an upset. :bigsmile:

    Sarah: I'm sorry for the girl you were and amazed by the woman you've become. Rant whenever you need to rant. We all have issues, big and small. It is great to have friends who can hear them without making excuses or passing judgment. :flowerforyou:

    Carol: You've grown into an amazing woman. I admire you for your balanced view of your dad. :star:

    Rae Ann: Welcome to a great group of women. :smiley:

    Lanette: Have you ever gone to the Fiddle Festival in Weiser, Idaho? We went one time when our kids were in grade school, and it was so much fun. I'm not quite sure why we've never gone back. :flowerforyou:

    Kim: I think your perspective on giving to the kids is a wise one. :star:


    Yoga today with my very favorite teacher! Yay!!! In other good news, it looks like I will have a riding lesson this weekend after all. I didn't expect it because my teacher had a conflict in her schedule. Things in her life have shifted some and there will be a lesson after all. Yay again!

    Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

    "That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche

  • Lagopus
    Lagopus Posts: 1,016 Member
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    gotu52 wrote: »
    Here's what's so hard. My father was very famous. [...] He did great things for many people while his family was neglected in the background. [...] It is hard to live my whole life being told how wonderful my father was when I had a different experience.
    Sarah dear heart, thanks for telling your story. It's a situation I can scarcely comprehend, as I felt safe and well cared for throughout my childhood. Honestly, until I was in my late teens, the only family conflicts I knew of were the ones in fairy tales.

    The sentences I've quoted bring to mind the working title of Heather's memoir: "Such a nice man". As others have mentioned, versions of your experience are shared by several of the beautiful women on this thread. Whenever I hear about them, it reminds me how lucky I am.

    My back is hurting me now so I'm going out for a walk in the hope of producing some endorphins. Even if the grandchildren are coming in tomorrow evening, I'm not going to be rearranging furniture and putting sheets on the daybeds anytime soon. :confused:

    /Penny, in a bit of pain at the North Pole

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