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Christine_72 wrote: »My reputation is now tarnished
Shower.
ETA: That's to get the grime off, your reputation is irreparable
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nutmegoreo wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »My reputation is now tarnished
Shower.
ETA: That's to get the grime off, your reputation is irreparable
Haha I walked right into that one
It's the chitchat section, i can do that, right?
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Lillymoo01 wrote: »EbonyDahlia wrote: »I know what you mean. I eat Keto and I get attacked all the time. I've even had inboxes from carb lovers telling me that Keto is stupid and restrictive and has no benefit whatsoever and I'm stupid and naïve for telling people that it works. And I'd just like to point out that there are some "dieticians" and "personal trainers" on here that don't know everything. But they still try to bully people into subscribing to their point of view. I would say that my 4+ years of eating Keto, plus all of the research I've done qualify me at least as much as them to share my opinion and experience.
The thing to remember is that it's just strangers on the internet. The internet brings out the worst in people and many behave in a way that they wouldn't have the guts to in real life. That is their failing, not yours. Plus a bit of healthy debate is a good thing, even if they're wrong. I put it down to being hangry all the time due to their high carb diets.
You had my support until your last sentence. If you don't want to be attacked then don't attack others choices either. We are all different and what works for one will not work for all. Keto works for you and gives you results. Brilliant. Moderate carbs works much better for me because I find wholegrain carbs keep me satiated more than protein and fat. To say that I am hangry all the time because of my high carb diet is nothing more than rude. If you want a healthy debate then don't lower yourself to this level.
And all three of you who quoted me just proved my point. Although it was a tongue in cheek comment, also known as a joke ... but I guess you just to hangry to get it, huh?0 -
I've seen people jumped on for making blanket statements that you have to follow a specific WOE to lose weight and that people who don't eat that way are all hungry and addicted and miserable. What tends to get shot dwn here is telling a newbie you have to eat a specific food or cut out a specific food. Even so, I honestly don't think I've ever seen anyone "attacked" here. Even people who say dangerous or actually mean things will get disagreed with or told they are wrong, but not attacked. I've seen people attacked on the internet, it's scary asparagus, and it doesn't happen here.
Most of what I've seen that might be considered "attacking" by some is usually, like you say, someone insisting that people have to give up bread, sugar, soda, fat, lentils, whatever. The person posting such comments then gets very defensive when told that it's wrong, and counters with statements like, "Well, it worked for me! It's the only way I have any success." That's great, but it doesn't mean that it's right for everyone, or even necessary at all.
If someone is suggesting that a newbie might like to try different ways of eating, or cutting out certain things that they might be having trouble moderating, then that's a slightly different matter... it doesn't change the fact that it's probably not necessary, but at least it's phrased as a suggestion rather than a blanket statement that everyone must give up <naughty food of the moment>, or that "eating clean" is the only possible way to lose weight, or whatever flag they're currently waving.
People are passionate about what worked for them, and that's understandable. It's when they insist that everyone else must do the same or they can't possibly be successful that other people have problems. I'm an "everything in moderation" girl myself, because it works for me. I often suggest it to other people who are struggling with a more restrictive diet, noting that it's not strictly necessary to cut out anything, but I always add that moderation doesn't work for everyone and it's up to the individual to experiment and find what works for them personally.3 -
EbonyDahlia wrote: »And all three of you who quoted me just proved my point. Although it was a tongue in cheek comment, also known as a joke ... but I guess you just to hangry to get it, huh?
It kind of proves the point about the absence of tone of voice, though, to me... If I made a joke, I'd usually add a smiley face or a wink afterwards to make sure it was understood as such. Since you didn't, although you might have intended it that way it apparently didn't come across.
Not hangry any more, just had a big plate of carbs! 5 -
EbonyDahlia wrote: »Lillymoo01 wrote: »EbonyDahlia wrote: »I know what you mean. I eat Keto and I get attacked all the time. I've even had inboxes from carb lovers telling me that Keto is stupid and restrictive and has no benefit whatsoever and I'm stupid and naïve for telling people that it works. And I'd just like to point out that there are some "dieticians" and "personal trainers" on here that don't know everything. But they still try to bully people into subscribing to their point of view. I would say that my 4+ years of eating Keto, plus all of the research I've done qualify me at least as much as them to share my opinion and experience.
The thing to remember is that it's just strangers on the internet. The internet brings out the worst in people and many behave in a way that they wouldn't have the guts to in real life. That is their failing, not yours. Plus a bit of healthy debate is a good thing, even if they're wrong. I put it down to being hangry all the time due to their high carb diets.
You had my support until your last sentence. If you don't want to be attacked then don't attack others choices either. We are all different and what works for one will not work for all. Keto works for you and gives you results. Brilliant. Moderate carbs works much better for me because I find wholegrain carbs keep me satiated more than protein and fat. To say that I am hangry all the time because of my high carb diet is nothing more than rude. If you want a healthy debate then don't lower yourself to this level.
And all three of you who quoted me just proved my point. Although it was a tongue in cheek comment, also known as a joke ... but I guess you just to hangry to get it, huh?
Considering that comment came right after you agreed with the OP that people here are mean, and wrote that you had been bullied for doing keto, it wasn't an obvious place to drop a joke. And people say that sort of thing for realsies. Regardless, i guess it served to show its hard to read tone in a forum post!2 -
Using "lol" or emoticons has become the internet way of conveying some sense of how the writer intended their comment to be taken. I find this fascinating - initially when I ran into an "lol" I'd roll my eyes and move on. Now I realize that these are as much punctuation as ! or ?, and are used to soften sharp edges or indicate the poster isn't intending to offend or antagonize. Doesn't always work - how many times have we seen something along the lines of "Well, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard lol!", but it's all we've got until something better comes along (lol ) 0
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Welcome to the internet, have a nice stay!
Have some candy:
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Christine_72 wrote: »nutmegoreo wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »My reputation is now tarnished
Shower.
ETA: That's to get the grime off, your reputation is irreparable
Haha I walked right into that one
It's the chitchat section, i can do that, right?
Not sure if you can, but it's :laugh:1 -
I had never heard the word "snowflake" used as a racial insult, so I did some googling. I'm not going to go into detail, but it seems it's important to say "special snowflake" as leaving off the special part can take on a different meaning. So I learned something today - Thank you MFP :drinker:
There is another lesson to be learned here: if you need to resort to name calling to make your point, just stop. Your just trying to prove your right but only succeeding making yourself look less credible.0 -
crooked_left_hook wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »In defense of the OP, I've seen quite a bit of the "this is my experience, and your experience is different, so your experience is wrong" mentality on this site. I've also seen the term "snowflake" thrown around when someone's opinion or experience differs from their own, and quite frankly that incredibly rude and disrespectful. .
I have NEVER seen anyone say, or even imply, that if someone's experience is different from theirs, then it's wrong, UNLESS.....that person claims that their body defies the laws of physics, and that they're not doing ANYTHING wrong and they just CAN'T lose weight because they have some indefinable something that makes it IMPOSSIBLE for them to do so. Well, then, they are in denial and they kind of are acting like a snowflake.
I agree that if someone is in blatant denial, for example, "I'm only eating 700 calories a day, I'm afraid of gaining weight, and I weigh 80lbs but I am NOT anorexic" or "I'm only eating 1200 calories but I don't own measuring spoons or cups or a scale", then yes, they are wrong.
I have personally had people tell me I'm wrong because their experience differed from mine. Example: I gained 15lbs of water weight in less than a month when I had a Mirena IUD, held that weight for 4 months, then lost it in two weeks when it was removed. Not fat, water, and enough that my clothes didn't fit. User X says "I have a Mirena was able to lose weight and birth control doesn't cause weight gain" or user Y says "I didn't gain weight from mine, you're just eating too much". Water weight is weight; weight that caused me to buy bigger clothes, weight that didn't go away over time, and weight went away when Mirena was removed. It's not the norm, but it was my experience, and in this case yes, I am different and I was not wrong.
Not to mention that "snowflake" not only is a politically derogatory term, it is also a racially derogatory term in the vein of "cracker" or "honky" and offensive.
Really? I didn't know that. I just miss the snow from home (Minnesota) and always thought snowflakes are pretty. Imagine my surprise when people started talking about "special snowflakes" on the boards. I didn't have any idea what they meant at first. Then I found out it was derogatory. Ha--joke on me. So I just laugh about it and go on my little snowflake way.2 -
booksandchocolate12 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »Not to mention that "snowflake" not only is a politically derogatory term, it is also a racially derogatory term in the vein of "cracker" or "honky" and offensive.
When used here, snowflake just means "super duper special" or "one of a kind", as in "no two snowflakes are alike".
But I understand your point.
Oh, Thank God--I thought the worst.0 -
snowflake954 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »In defense of the OP, I've seen quite a bit of the "this is my experience, and your experience is different, so your experience is wrong" mentality on this site. I've also seen the term "snowflake" thrown around when someone's opinion or experience differs from their own, and quite frankly that incredibly rude and disrespectful. .
I have NEVER seen anyone say, or even imply, that if someone's experience is different from theirs, then it's wrong, UNLESS.....that person claims that their body defies the laws of physics, and that they're not doing ANYTHING wrong and they just CAN'T lose weight because they have some indefinable something that makes it IMPOSSIBLE for them to do so. Well, then, they are in denial and they kind of are acting like a snowflake.
I agree that if someone is in blatant denial, for example, "I'm only eating 700 calories a day, I'm afraid of gaining weight, and I weigh 80lbs but I am NOT anorexic" or "I'm only eating 1200 calories but I don't own measuring spoons or cups or a scale", then yes, they are wrong.
I have personally had people tell me I'm wrong because their experience differed from mine. Example: I gained 15lbs of water weight in less than a month when I had a Mirena IUD, held that weight for 4 months, then lost it in two weeks when it was removed. Not fat, water, and enough that my clothes didn't fit. User X says "I have a Mirena was able to lose weight and birth control doesn't cause weight gain" or user Y says "I didn't gain weight from mine, you're just eating too much". Water weight is weight; weight that caused me to buy bigger clothes, weight that didn't go away over time, and weight went away when Mirena was removed. It's not the norm, but it was my experience, and in this case yes, I am different and I was not wrong.
Not to mention that "snowflake" not only is a politically derogatory term, it is also a racially derogatory term in the vein of "cracker" or "honky" and offensive.
Really? I didn't know that. I just miss the snow from home (Minnesota) and always thought snowflakes are pretty. Imagine my surprise when people started talking about "special snowflakes" on the boards. I didn't have any idea what they meant at first. Then I found out it was derogatory. Ha--joke on me. So I just laugh about it and go on my little snowflake way.
I live in Minneapolis...you're not missing anything. I agree that the snowflakes are pretty. I like to take pictures of them when they land on my windshield. But snow just gray, messy, and just plain sucks.
Now there's a metaphor to think about...maybe being called a "special snowflake" isn't so bad after all. Because this is what happens when you stop being a "special snowflake"...
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crooked_left_hook wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »In defense of the OP, I've seen quite a bit of the "this is my experience, and your experience is different, so your experience is wrong" mentality on this site. I've also seen the term "snowflake" thrown around when someone's opinion or experience differs from their own, and quite frankly that incredibly rude and disrespectful. .
I have NEVER seen anyone say, or even imply, that if someone's experience is different from theirs, then it's wrong, UNLESS.....that person claims that their body defies the laws of physics, and that they're not doing ANYTHING wrong and they just CAN'T lose weight because they have some indefinable something that makes it IMPOSSIBLE for them to do so. Well, then, they are in denial and they kind of are acting like a snowflake.
I agree that if someone is in blatant denial, for example, "I'm only eating 700 calories a day, I'm afraid of gaining weight, and I weigh 80lbs but I am NOT anorexic" or "I'm only eating 1200 calories but I don't own measuring spoons or cups or a scale", then yes, they are wrong.
I have personally had people tell me I'm wrong because their experience differed from mine. Example: I gained 15lbs of water weight in less than a month when I had a Mirena IUD, held that weight for 4 months, then lost it in two weeks when it was removed. Not fat, water, and enough that my clothes didn't fit. User X says "I have a Mirena was able to lose weight and birth control doesn't cause weight gain" or user Y says "I didn't gain weight from mine, you're just eating too much". Water weight is weight; weight that caused me to buy bigger clothes, weight that didn't go away over time, and weight went away when Mirena was removed. It's not the norm, but it was my experience, and in this case yes, I am different and I was not wrong.
Not to mention that "snowflake" not only is a politically derogatory term, it is also a racially derogatory term in the vein of "cracker" or "honky" and offensive.
Really? I didn't know that. I just miss the snow from home (Minnesota) and always thought snowflakes are pretty. Imagine my surprise when people started talking about "special snowflakes" on the boards. I didn't have any idea what they meant at first. Then I found out it was derogatory. Ha--joke on me. So I just laugh about it and go on my little snowflake way.
I live in Minneapolis...you're not missing anything. I agree that the snowflakes are pretty. I like to take pictures of them when they land on my windshield. But snow just gray, messy, and just plain sucks.
Now there's a metaphor to think about...maybe being called a "special snowflake" isn't so bad after all. Because this is what happens when you stop being a "special snowflake"...
How sad. What I thought was meant by "special snowflake" was that when it snows there are so many--uncountable--and all alike, so how can you take one and say it's different than the others? Then again, I'm a romantic and snow to me is the first big fluffy flakes of the season. Not what's in your photo.0 -
snowflake954 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »In defense of the OP, I've seen quite a bit of the "this is my experience, and your experience is different, so your experience is wrong" mentality on this site. I've also seen the term "snowflake" thrown around when someone's opinion or experience differs from their own, and quite frankly that incredibly rude and disrespectful. .
I have NEVER seen anyone say, or even imply, that if someone's experience is different from theirs, then it's wrong, UNLESS.....that person claims that their body defies the laws of physics, and that they're not doing ANYTHING wrong and they just CAN'T lose weight because they have some indefinable something that makes it IMPOSSIBLE for them to do so. Well, then, they are in denial and they kind of are acting like a snowflake.
I agree that if someone is in blatant denial, for example, "I'm only eating 700 calories a day, I'm afraid of gaining weight, and I weigh 80lbs but I am NOT anorexic" or "I'm only eating 1200 calories but I don't own measuring spoons or cups or a scale", then yes, they are wrong.
I have personally had people tell me I'm wrong because their experience differed from mine. Example: I gained 15lbs of water weight in less than a month when I had a Mirena IUD, held that weight for 4 months, then lost it in two weeks when it was removed. Not fat, water, and enough that my clothes didn't fit. User X says "I have a Mirena was able to lose weight and birth control doesn't cause weight gain" or user Y says "I didn't gain weight from mine, you're just eating too much". Water weight is weight; weight that caused me to buy bigger clothes, weight that didn't go away over time, and weight went away when Mirena was removed. It's not the norm, but it was my experience, and in this case yes, I am different and I was not wrong.
Not to mention that "snowflake" not only is a politically derogatory term, it is also a racially derogatory term in the vein of "cracker" or "honky" and offensive.
Really? I didn't know that. I just miss the snow from home (Minnesota) and always thought snowflakes are pretty. Imagine my surprise when people started talking about "special snowflakes" on the boards. I didn't have any idea what they meant at first. Then I found out it was derogatory. Ha--joke on me. So I just laugh about it and go on my little snowflake way.
I live in Minneapolis...you're not missing anything. I agree that the snowflakes are pretty. I like to take pictures of them when they land on my windshield. But snow just gray, messy, and just plain sucks.
Now there's a metaphor to think about...maybe being called a "special snowflake" isn't so bad after all. Because this is what happens when you stop being a "special snowflake"...
How sad. What I thought was meant by "special snowflake" was that when it snows there are so many--uncountable--and all alike, so how can you take one and say it's different than the others? Then again, I'm a romantic and snow to me is the first big fluffy flakes of the season. Not what's in your photo.
Actually, it's highly unlikely that the crystal structure of any two large snowflakes would ever be exactly alike so they are actually all different (at least the ones we can see). So all snowflakes are special
Because I'm a total nerd, here is some nerd info about snowflakes for your enjoyment.
https://www.its.caltech.edu/~atomic/snowcrystals/alike/alike.htm
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That's the way I have always taken it.
Snowflakes are all different, no two exactly the same.
As are people, no two exactly the same.1 -
crooked_left_hook wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »crooked_left_hook wrote: »In defense of the OP, I've seen quite a bit of the "this is my experience, and your experience is different, so your experience is wrong" mentality on this site. I've also seen the term "snowflake" thrown around when someone's opinion or experience differs from their own, and quite frankly that incredibly rude and disrespectful. .
I have NEVER seen anyone say, or even imply, that if someone's experience is different from theirs, then it's wrong, UNLESS.....that person claims that their body defies the laws of physics, and that they're not doing ANYTHING wrong and they just CAN'T lose weight because they have some indefinable something that makes it IMPOSSIBLE for them to do so. Well, then, they are in denial and they kind of are acting like a snowflake.
I agree that if someone is in blatant denial, for example, "I'm only eating 700 calories a day, I'm afraid of gaining weight, and I weigh 80lbs but I am NOT anorexic" or "I'm only eating 1200 calories but I don't own measuring spoons or cups or a scale", then yes, they are wrong.
I have personally had people tell me I'm wrong because their experience differed from mine. Example: I gained 15lbs of water weight in less than a month when I had a Mirena IUD, held that weight for 4 months, then lost it in two weeks when it was removed. Not fat, water, and enough that my clothes didn't fit. User X says "I have a Mirena was able to lose weight and birth control doesn't cause weight gain" or user Y says "I didn't gain weight from mine, you're just eating too much". Water weight is weight; weight that caused me to buy bigger clothes, weight that didn't go away over time, and weight went away when Mirena was removed. It's not the norm, but it was my experience, and in this case yes, I am different and I was not wrong.
Not to mention that "snowflake" not only is a politically derogatory term, it is also a racially derogatory term in the vein of "cracker" or "honky" and offensive.
Really? I didn't know that. I just miss the snow from home (Minnesota) and always thought snowflakes are pretty. Imagine my surprise when people started talking about "special snowflakes" on the boards. I didn't have any idea what they meant at first. Then I found out it was derogatory. Ha--joke on me. So I just laugh about it and go on my little snowflake way.
I live in Minneapolis...you're not missing anything. I agree that the snowflakes are pretty. I like to take pictures of them when they land on my windshield. But snow just gray, messy, and just plain sucks.
Now there's a metaphor to think about...maybe being called a "special snowflake" isn't so bad after all. Because this is what happens when you stop being a "special snowflake"...
How sad. What I thought was meant by "special snowflake" was that when it snows there are so many--uncountable--and all alike, so how can you take one and say it's different than the others? Then again, I'm a romantic and snow to me is the first big fluffy flakes of the season. Not what's in your photo.
Actually, it's highly unlikely that the crystal structure of any two large snowflakes would ever be exactly alike so they are actually all different (at least the ones we can see). So all snowflakes are special
Because I'm a total nerd, here is some nerd info about snowflakes for your enjoyment.
https://www.its.caltech.edu/~atomic/snowcrystals/alike/alike.htm
Thank you!1 -
3rdof7sisters wrote: »That's the way I have always taken it.
Snowflakes are all different, no two exactly the same.
As are people, no two exactly the same.
That would be a logical interpretation of the term but lately in politics (it was thrown around during the women's marches) it took in a particularly negative connotation. On MFP it is also used in a negative way to tell someone to stop acting like they are special. It's a slang term that is incorrect in nature and can very easily be misinterpreted due to the multiple meanings circulating.
So to summarize all of the issues with the term 'snowflake' or 'special snowflake':
1. 'Snowflake' used alone is a racial slur.
2. Calling someone a 'special snowflake' is kind of pointless because all large snowflakes (and all humans) are technically unique and it doesn't make any sense. It's as pointless arguing the world is flat.
3. Calling people names to get your point across is lame and undermines everything you might have had to offer a conversation.
4. To take the stance that you are in fact NOT a 'special snowflake' implies that you belong in the dirty, used up snow pile of life where all snowflakes eventually end up when they cease being special.
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nicolepburgess91 wrote: »I came to this forum for support on my weight loss journey and I found a lot of that. But there are a few people on here that are very strong in their belief that they know everything and they talk down to you and manage to make you feel about 2 inches tall and dumb. I'm seriously considering removing MFP because I only use it for the support and community. But I can't even post on here without someone jumping in knowing everything and making me feel stupid for asking questions.
Is anyone else having this problem on this forum or is it just me?
Nicole, I am really sorry you are feeling this way. However, it bears noting that a person's feelings belong to themselves only and that nobody else can actually make us feel a certain way. In life, and especially in internet interactions, it's important to own our own feelings. I say this as a person who lived for years with the perception that others cause me to feel a certain way. If they just stopped saying such and such, I would not feel bad anymore.
That said, the internet is a strange place full of people with differing opinions. Some indeed are know-it-all people who don't really know that much, and others, especially those who know about how to lose weight and keep it off, really do know a whole lot.
In my opinion-and this is my opinion only-support is telling another person the truth no matter what. Sure, we can all watch the words we use to tell the truth, but the truth is the truth no matter how pretty you paint it.
Please own your own power and do not allow others to make you feel stupid, or to make you feel any way at all. If you pose a question, that means you want to learn, so overlook any real or perceived snark and take what you can and leave the rest. It's really easy to read into others responses and project how we are feeling onto them.
Good luck on your weight management journey!4 -
crooked_left_hook wrote: »3rdof7sisters wrote: »That's the way I have always taken it.
Snowflakes are all different, no two exactly the same.
As are people, no two exactly the same.
That would be a logical interpretation of the term but lately in politics (it was thrown around during the women's marches) it took in a particularly negative connotation. On MFP it is also used in a negative way to tell someone to stop acting like they are special. It's a slang term that is incorrect in nature and can very easily be misinterpreted due to the multiple meanings circulating.
So to summarize all of the issues with the term 'snowflake' or 'special snowflake':
1. 'Snowflake' used alone is a racial slur.
2. Calling someone a 'special snowflake' is kind of pointless because all large snowflakes (and all humans) are technically unique and it doesn't make any sense. It's as pointless arguing the world is flat.
3. Calling people names to get your point across is lame and undermines everything you might have had to offer a conversation.
4. To take the stance that you are in fact NOT a 'special snowflake' implies that you belong in the dirty, used up snow pile of life where all snowflakes eventually end up when they cease being special.
I believe "special snowflake" on MFP is always preceded by "you are not". It's used to express that nobody defies the laws of physics etc etc etc. So yes, it does make sense.bufnitzoiu wrote: »Welcome to the internet, have a nice stay!
Have some candy:
I think you'll find those bad boys are probably cake pops.0
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