Snap Judgments
Options
Replies
-
i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »toned_thugs_n_harmony wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I assume that women who insist on keeping a baby when the father doesn't want it are either after the father's money or they desperately want to create a bond with someone who doesn't love them.
are they supposed to get rid of the baby just because the father is a POS?
I think it is wrong to consider all men who don't want a baby is pos. Maybe he is not ready, maybe he wants to be financially stable before having a baby. I believe it is too selfish to keep an unwanted baby. That poor little thing needs a father.
A mother is perfectly capable of playing both roles. Yes, having a father who's there for them would be the ideal situation but kids who don't have fathers involved in their lives can have just as much of a good life as kids who do.
Yes, you are right. But i would feel sorry for my child when she/he asks about the father and i wouldn't want to lie to him/her so i wouldn't keep the baby to not face this kind of situations. Maybe i am not a strong woman, i don't know.
I understand, everyone has their reasons and their own stories, I don't judge. I'm just speaking from experience, my biological father wasn't there for me when I was born but I was blessed with a amazing step father who did everything for me and I turned out ok.
But you did have a dad. Just because he wasn't biological doesn't change that. Statistics show that "kids don't need a dad" isn't a true statement. I'm lucky, my kids have both parents active in their life and an amazing step dad. Anyone who says a kid doesn't need a dad is speaking from a position of either bitterness or ignorance. Yes, they *can* turn out fine without a dad. They are more likely to with one, however.2 -
djeffreys10 wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »toned_thugs_n_harmony wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I assume that women who insist on keeping a baby when the father doesn't want it are either after the father's money or they desperately want to create a bond with someone who doesn't love them.
are they supposed to get rid of the baby just because the father is a POS?
So if a father doesn't want a baby, he is a POS...but if a woman doesn't want a baby, it's a woman right to choose? If a father doesn't want a baby, he should have every right to completely walk out of the situation with no responsibility before the child is born. The same way a woman can.
Fyi, I am a single dad with custody of my two kids. I in no way would ever walk out of their life. But men should have that option, same as women.
When you say that a woman can walk out of the situation though, surely she can't. If she doesn't want a baby, she has two choices: an abortion or giving birth and then putting the baby up for adoption or something similar. A guy can just go, "nah not interested" and leave the woman to go it alone.
If the guy doesn't want a baby, then wear a condom (I know they're not a 100% effective but I believe both parties should be using protection if they really don't want a kid) or don't have sex, if you want to be absolutely sure.
Where I do agree with you though, is say the woman gives birth and then decides she doesn't want to know and gives the dad full custody, shouldn't she also be responsible for paying child support just like a guy would be responsible, legally, for paying it? Otherwise, the notion of equality of the sexes seems a bit hypocritical.
Yes, she can. She can get an abortion and be done. A man has no option. He is at the woman's mercy.
That being said, the non custodial parent is on the hook for child support. Regardless of gender. I mean, I have never gotten child support from my ex wife. But she has been broke since the divorce. She only wanted to be with me for money. So when she lost my money, she was broke. I didn't need child support from her, and felt no need to use it to try and *kitten* her over. So she has never paid. And I don't intend to make her.
I didn't know that re the non custodial patent being responsible for child support regardless of gender. That's good. I wonder if its the same in England.
You took a grown up approach. Without meaning to sound patronising, that's refreshing to hear. A lot of people use their bitterness to punish their ex-partner.0 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »toned_thugs_n_harmony wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I assume that women who insist on keeping a baby when the father doesn't want it are either after the father's money or they desperately want to create a bond with someone who doesn't love them.
are they supposed to get rid of the baby just because the father is a POS?
I think it is wrong to consider all men who don't want a baby is pos. Maybe he is not ready, maybe he wants to be financially stable before having a baby. I believe it is too selfish to keep an unwanted baby. That poor little thing needs a father.
A mother is perfectly capable of playing both roles. Yes, having a father who's there for them would be the ideal situation but kids who don't have fathers involved in their lives can have just as much of a good life as kids who do.
Yes, you are right. But i would feel sorry for my child when she/he asks about the father and i wouldn't want to lie to him/her so i wouldn't keep the baby to not face this kind of situations. Maybe i am not a strong woman, i don't know.
I understand, everyone has their reasons and their own stories, I don't judge. I'm just speaking from experience, my biological father wasn't there for me when I was born but I was blessed with a amazing step father who did everything for me and I turned out ok.
But you did have a dad. Statistics show that "kids don't need a dad" isn't a true statement.
Okay but kids don't need a dad
Then equally, kids don't need a mom.
3 -
I assume this wasn't the dissuasion anyone expected to get into
0 -
djeffreys10 wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »toned_thugs_n_harmony wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I assume that women who insist on keeping a baby when the father doesn't want it are either after the father's money or they desperately want to create a bond with someone who doesn't love them.
are they supposed to get rid of the baby just because the father is a POS?
I think it is wrong to consider all men who don't want a baby is pos. Maybe he is not ready, maybe he wants to be financially stable before having a baby. I believe it is too selfish to keep an unwanted baby. That poor little thing needs a father.
A mother is perfectly capable of playing both roles. Yes, having a father who's there for them would be the ideal situation but kids who don't have fathers involved in their lives can have just as much of a good life as kids who do.
Yes, you are right. But i would feel sorry for my child when she/he asks about the father and i wouldn't want to lie to him/her so i wouldn't keep the baby to not face this kind of situations. Maybe i am not a strong woman, i don't know.
I understand, everyone has their reasons and their own stories, I don't judge. I'm just speaking from experience, my biological father wasn't there for me when I was born but I was blessed with a amazing step father who did everything for me and I turned out ok.
But you did have a dad. Statistics show that "kids don't need a dad" isn't a true statement.
Okay but kids don't need a dad
Then equally, kids don't need a mom.
How about we all agree that what a child doesn't need is a parent who doesn't want to be in their life, regardless of gender?4 -
-
I assumed something like this would happen and throw a perfectly nice thread off track.7
-
Brown_Eyed_Squirrel wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »toned_thugs_n_harmony wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I assume that women who insist on keeping a baby when the father doesn't want it are either after the father's money or they desperately want to create a bond with someone who doesn't love them.
are they supposed to get rid of the baby just because the father is a POS?
I think it is wrong to consider all men who don't want a baby is pos. Maybe he is not ready, maybe he wants to be financially stable before having a baby. I believe it is too selfish to keep an unwanted baby. That poor little thing needs a father.
A mother is perfectly capable of playing both roles. Yes, having a father who's there for them would be the ideal situation but kids who don't have fathers involved in their lives can have just as much of a good life as kids who do.
Yes, you are right. But i would feel sorry for my child when she/he asks about the father and i wouldn't want to lie to him/her so i wouldn't keep the baby to not face this kind of situations. Maybe i am not a strong woman, i don't know.
I understand, everyone has their reasons and their own stories, I don't judge. I'm just speaking from experience, my biological father wasn't there for me when I was born but I was blessed with a amazing step father who did everything for me and I turned out ok.
But you did have a dad. Statistics show that "kids don't need a dad" isn't a true statement.
Okay but kids don't need a dad
Then equally, kids don't need a mom.
How about we all agree that what a child doesn't need is a parent who doesn't want to be in their life, regardless of gender?
Agree? On the internet?
0 -
JuddNelsonMFP wrote: »JuddNelsonMFP wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »JuddNelsonMFP wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »toned_thugs_n_harmony wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »toned_thugs_n_harmony wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I assume that women who insist on keeping a baby when the father doesn't want it are either after the father's money or they desperately want to create a bond with someone who doesn't love them.
are they supposed to get rid of the baby just because the father is a POS?
So if a father doesn't want a baby, he is a POS...but if a woman doesn't want a baby, it's a woman right to choose? If a father doesn't want a baby, he should have every right to completely walk out of the situation with no responsibility before the child is born. The same way a woman can.
Fyi, I am a single dad with custody of my two kids. I in no way would ever walk out of their life. But men should have that option, same as women.
I actually agree. I just meant just because the father decided to put his d in someones v without protection and then decides he doesn't wanna deal with the consequences doesn't mean that the mother is after his money or his love if she decides she is gonna keep the baby.
But it doesn't mean he is a POS any more than getting an abortion means a woman is
Oh no he’s still a POS. I’d you don’t want a baby then don’t make one. I’ve never accidentally gotten anyone pregnant. It’s not difficult to be safe and responsible.
I said it doesn't make him a pos ANY MORE THAN a it makes a woman a pos to get an abortion. Any label you apply to said man, you logically equally apply to a woman who doesn't want the kid for whatever reason.
But it does still make him a POS. And I agree with your last sentence.
Why does it make a guy a POS if he doesn't want a baby? The only contraceptive method that I know which is 100% effective is abstaining. Say the condom splits or there's a hole in it and the lady gets pregnant, the guy doesn't want a kid hence why he was using a condom. Is he a POS for not changing his mind because of the situation?
We will never convince each other to change views so this is pointless. Short answer it’s called taking responsibility for your actions.
True. I just think that whilst what you say makes sense in theory, in reality a lot of people don't want to take responsibility for their actions so its potentially more harmful to have a father involved who doesn't want to be involved. They have to take a legal responsibility to pay for their child but I'm not sure you can force someone to take an actual interest if they don't want to.0 -
Brown_Eyed_Squirrel wrote: »
Dont trust them, but take them out for a fun night1 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »I assumed something like this would happen and throw a perfectly nice thread off track.
Well its nice to see a difference of opinion handled maturely. Its been a good discussion rather than an insult fest0 -
I'm just gonna snap to the assumption that there will always be a supply of little girls and little boys with daddy issues (and similarly with mommy issues) regardless of their spawning scenarios (like this whole derail completely assumed paired gender roles, completely overlooking same-gendered parenting WTF?).
1 -
djeffreys10 wrote: »Brown_Eyed_Squirrel wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »toned_thugs_n_harmony wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I assume that women who insist on keeping a baby when the father doesn't want it are either after the father's money or they desperately want to create a bond with someone who doesn't love them.
are they supposed to get rid of the baby just because the father is a POS?
I think it is wrong to consider all men who don't want a baby is pos. Maybe he is not ready, maybe he wants to be financially stable before having a baby. I believe it is too selfish to keep an unwanted baby. That poor little thing needs a father.
A mother is perfectly capable of playing both roles. Yes, having a father who's there for them would be the ideal situation but kids who don't have fathers involved in their lives can have just as much of a good life as kids who do.
Yes, you are right. But i would feel sorry for my child when she/he asks about the father and i wouldn't want to lie to him/her so i wouldn't keep the baby to not face this kind of situations. Maybe i am not a strong woman, i don't know.
I understand, everyone has their reasons and their own stories, I don't judge. I'm just speaking from experience, my biological father wasn't there for me when I was born but I was blessed with a amazing step father who did everything for me and I turned out ok.
But you did have a dad. Statistics show that "kids don't need a dad" isn't a true statement.
Okay but kids don't need a dad
Then equally, kids don't need a mom.
How about we all agree that what a child doesn't need is a parent who doesn't want to be in their life, regardless of gender?
Agree? On the internet?
You know me.*tries to insert blame Canada gif*
0 -
Brown_Eyed_Squirrel wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »Brown_Eyed_Squirrel wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »toned_thugs_n_harmony wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I assume that women who insist on keeping a baby when the father doesn't want it are either after the father's money or they desperately want to create a bond with someone who doesn't love them.
are they supposed to get rid of the baby just because the father is a POS?
I think it is wrong to consider all men who don't want a baby is pos. Maybe he is not ready, maybe he wants to be financially stable before having a baby. I believe it is too selfish to keep an unwanted baby. That poor little thing needs a father.
A mother is perfectly capable of playing both roles. Yes, having a father who's there for them would be the ideal situation but kids who don't have fathers involved in their lives can have just as much of a good life as kids who do.
Yes, you are right. But i would feel sorry for my child when she/he asks about the father and i wouldn't want to lie to him/her so i wouldn't keep the baby to not face this kind of situations. Maybe i am not a strong woman, i don't know.
I understand, everyone has their reasons and their own stories, I don't judge. I'm just speaking from experience, my biological father wasn't there for me when I was born but I was blessed with a amazing step father who did everything for me and I turned out ok.
But you did have a dad. Statistics show that "kids don't need a dad" isn't a true statement.
Okay but kids don't need a dad
Then equally, kids don't need a mom.
How about we all agree that what a child doesn't need is a parent who doesn't want to be in their life, regardless of gender?
Agree? On the internet?
You know me.
Yeah, I know you. We've met a time or two lol0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.9K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 397 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 975 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions