The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@donimfp I agree. The whole world has gone to $h*t and it is hard not to be depressed, throw up our hands and say, "What does it matter if I drink?" But as you wisely point out, all that will lead to is a racing heart and terrible anxiety later. I like that you point out that while we have great benefits from sober living, there are still going to be down times. That is just Life.4
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@donimfp I can see and totally agree how difficult times and emotions are because of the state of the world. Can you imagine how much worse your dread and depression would be if you were drinking? Ten times worse. I cannot see any positive for drinking anymore- even the fleeting short moments of respite from the realities of life, is so not worth the rabbit hole drinking brings me down.
I do think many times a day about drinking still; I wonder when that will lessen. But so far it has been 28 days of sobriety for me and hopefully 29 tomorrow.
89 days - that is terrific~
It's nice you turned to writing about your feelings at 12:30 a.m.; that is good therapy in itself. Wishing you a better week.
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@JenT304 For sure, that racing heart and days of anxiety are just not worth it. Oh how we have suffered through those.2
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My sister is on seven months sober and told me she is skipping our annual scrapbook weekend. She says it is too much of a trigger for her with drinking.
When I use to bring alcohol to the scrapbook weekends, I would wonder why in the morning, my vodka bottle had so little in it. I was convinced I drank so much the night before. But she confessed to me that it was SHE who was sneaking vodka from me when I would leave the room or go to bed. She was to ashamed to admit it but I told her , I totally get it. It's embarrassing to sneak alcohol in hopes no one knows how much you are drinking.
Although I will miss her and her laughter and good stories, I understand how we have to be mindful of triggers and do our best to stay away from them.
p.s. I am in need of a pedicure, but my pedicure place is a trigger for me. It's next to a cute little wine bar where I would go after pedicures. So, maybe today, I'll find a new place to get my nails done and start a new pattern.5 -
I just want to get to 30 days sober..... that is my goal! Then, I will worry about the next 30.7
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Happy birthday Beka and Aroze~~ Hope it was wonderful! 3
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@aroze0928 I feel the same. I feel like I deserve to drink on my birthday- to celebrate. I'm happy you didn't though. And you awoke the next day feeling fine! I didn't drink on my birthday this year and I survived. No regrets.5
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One last thing .... I had some red flags on my liver and kidney blood tests in August, so one of my primary goals for sobriety is to get these little organs back in place and healthy and happy.
If at the very least, not drinking makes our bodies and brains smile!
Have a great day! Our school board voted to go back to five days in person learning, so at the end of Oct. I will have 20 kids in a small room with big desks... not sure how I can social distance them but I will try. I am so done getting bent out of shape over things I cannot control. Keep that positive self talk going! My colleague has been getting so crazy complaining about school that I have to also set some boundaries with her- not answer her every text or not pick up my phone when she calls.
So, keep setting boundaries in your life will keep you more sane. Love you!5 -
@RubyRed427, It was so good to see your posts this morning. You're doing great. That's interesting about your sister. She's lucky she has you to understand what she is going/was going through.
Good luck finding an even better pedicure place! Cute little wine bars can definitely be tempting.
Today is Day 90 for me. Yay! I'm sure I was in my 20s last time I went 90 days. That's 40 years ago. I've already picked out the James Avery ring I'm going to get for my 6-month celebration January 6, which is also, coincidentally, Epiphany. But I want to get something special to commemorate Day 100, too. I haven't decided what. That will be a fun project today, looking around online.
Kate Bee's 4-times-a-year Sober School 6-week "Getting Unstuck" course starts Monday. I'm so happy for the women who will be starting the adventure I started on July 6. Again, if ever anyone gets totally frustrated with repeated Day Ones like I did, it might be worth a try. I'm participating in her alumni community and getting a lot out of that, too.
I am addicted in a good way to the Curious Elixir drinks. I can get 4-6 mocktails out of each $7.50 bottle, so that's not bad. They are really delicious. I wish bars would catch on and start stocking those things to mix up delicious drinks that aren't Shirley Temples.
Have a great weekend, everyone! Oh, and thanks for being there when I (and others) need to vent sometimes.5 -
@donimfp Hooray 90 days!!! Yes, I do think a present is is order on day 100. I may buy a trinket when I get to 30.
I look forward to hearing what you will pick out. I am going to have to look into James Avery ring. I dont know what that is?
Thanks for the reminder about Curious Elixir drinks!! I will get on that right now and order some.
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James Avery was a craftsman here in Central Texas. He started simply making "camp jewelry" for all the summer camps in the area--symbols of the different cabins, "tribes," activities, etc. but then grew into a very popular brand. You can Google him (he has long since passed away).
I picked out a much cheaper little bracelet from Etsy with the date in Roman numerals: X-XIII-XX for 10-13-20, followed by a "C" for 100. No one but me will know what X-XIII-XX-C means.7 -
I love the Roman numeral bracelet!!! Great idea. I have not gifted myself anything yet, maybe on 01/02/21... can also celebrate the end of this lovely year.
I am 216 days sober and I thought it would be way easier by now. I kind of think it is harder. Is it bc of birthday week? Because I’m home this weekend and my husband is drinking like a fish?
No worries, I am pressing thru!
I have made HUGE strides getting my house fixed (from the July toilet rupture) this weekend. I could not have done this if I had not been sober.
I do feel totally out of my routine though. It will be off again tomorrow and back again Monday. I love routine!!!!!5 -
@Beka3695, I am totally with you on routine. I love my work routine and was so glad when we went back to school in early August. Being in a juvenile detention facility, our kids are gradually being released as usual but because of COVID no kids are coming in to replace them at this time. So we may be out of jobs for a while after December depending on what happens. It’s the thought of losing my comfortable routine that most concerns me. I’m not very good at winging it. Maybe that’s yet another skill to learn.
Great job on 216 days!! (Aka CCXVI)3 -
I am home, sober, from an unpleasant evening with friends, where my husband drank 2 beers and 3 scotches and got completely wasted and embarrassed me by being loud and annoying. He's over here, passed out snoring on the sofa next to me now. I was the only one not drinking. I finally just said, "give me the keys, we are leaving". I will let this incident further reinforce that I NEVER want to be in that position myself, again. He will be mortified and anxious and feel like crap tomorrow and I will not, it is as simple as that.
In happier news, due to motivation from some of you fine people, I have lost 5.6 lbs by eating well, exercising, and of course, remaining sober.8 -
I am at 30 days tomorrow. I inched my way to one month and haven't done that in many months. Anyway, my brain is saying "let's celebrate with a drink!".
I am also thinking you have come so far and resisted during stressful and good times, why ruin it now and then I'd have yet -another Day 1.
I decided to keep the streak going. I feel good. My face looks good- not puffy. Skin clear. Feeling calmer, much less anxiety overall. No wasted hours in bed nursing a hangover. No fast food to soothe my nausea. Plenty of free time to get lots of things done. Able to drive anytime without worries. No negotiations with myself over how much to drink or if I will stop and get wine. Saved money and saved organs.... Just random thoughts swirling in my brain. 7 -
I ordered some curious elixirs. I ordered a mixed bunch. 8 AF drinks per month. It's a monthly subscription. I can cancel at any time. https://curiouselixirs.com
I ordered 8 cocktails in four bottles for $29/month.5 -
Hello to All...YES, it does get easier...as I've said before the first year was the most difficult of this entire process...now I rarely think about alcohol and any "craving" has been a fleeting thought...almost like a knee-jerk reaction out of the blue, but I would not describe it as a temptation...I've had lots of situations in the past couple of years that would have called for a drink (s) if I was still drinking, but I've learned other ways to cope...although tbh food is still a coping tool which is a work in progress...for the most part I am facing my demons in a much healthier way.
I think it was @JenT304 that referred to the ups & downs of life...we can not drink them away because alcohol only compounds what we are trying to avoid...not only are our problems, sadness, disappointments, messed up world situations etc still there the next morning, but by drinking we may add a hangover, shame, guilt more disappointment, sadness, depression, anxiety etc on top of what we were trying to temporarily escape. It is a trap.
One of the best ways to stay on the AF path, in my opinion, is to keep counting the benefits of sobriety as many do in this group as opposed to "missing" the ritual of drinking...It's really a mind shift that changes our perspective to continue on the path to better health, better relationships, and so many freedoms...@RubyRed427 listed "able to drive anytime without worries" among many other benefits...but that is huge. I LOVE being sober, and I am so glad that I stuck it out through the rough times.
Continue to Stick it out...it WILL be SO worth it!! 7 -
Well done, Ruby! I love your list of positives. Our brains are SO weird. I’ve journaled every day since June 15. Last night, day 90 AF, I started musing that once I’d passed the year mark on July 6 maybe I’ll allow myself one martini per year. What is THAT nonsense about??? Anyway, I’m finding the positives just keep building.
On the Curious Elixirs, like I said I’ve had good luck mixing them with tonic and/or Perrier and/ or grapefruit juice. That way I get 4-5 drinks rather than 2 per bottle. Plus I like them that way. I like that they allow you to customize your order if you prefer or don’t prefer a particular one of their 4 versions. I happen to like them all but find #2 quite weird. I hope you enjoy experimenting with them! Their shipping can be slow. That’s my only small complaint.4 -
@lorrainequiche59, you are so right. I love focusing on all the great benefits of not drinking. Right now I’m loving that I can see a big difference in my “Zoom face”!
But when I’m tempted I find pulling out my “What I Hated About Drinking” list we made on day 2 of Kate’s course is my strongest motivator. The painful recollections of panic, anxiety, bloat, dry mouth, nausea, shame can be more powerful for me at times than the list of positives. Luckily I’m having to pull out that list less and less.5 -
@donimfp Your post is why we all need to keep coming here. A great reminder of why we want to be sober in the first place. For me, the temptations have been fewer and farther between though saying "never" still feels like stepping off a cliff.
We all had a lovely time at my sister's (socially distanced, outdoor) 50th birthday party. I ate what I wanted, including a cupcake so will not weigh in for a couple days as I return to my new normal way of eating. Like I said before, eat the cake. It is harmless compared to the 4 glasses of wine I would have consumed in the past, as well as the cake.10 -
I have not posted on here in a long time. Quick update. My eldest son (28 yrs) was killed in California Sept 2. We buried him back home in Illinois Sept 15. He left behind 3 young children. My world was turned upside down and I was in a tailspin of depression. Especially drinking. I realized the more I drank the more depressed I was becoming. And I was getting into a serious funk.
I am getting back on track cutting out alcohol, going back to the gym everyday and going to grief counseling sessions. I am feeling better and taking it day by day. But it is hard. I miss him every single day. Just writing this is making me tear up.
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@dbanks80 I would like to extend my deepest condolences on this unimaginable loss. We are here for you.5
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@dbanks80 I have no words to say that could help you. This is the ultimate tragedy. I am very sorry for your loss.5
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Thank you everyone!!!
This year really sucks. My husband and I will make it through. I have my youngest son 26 and I have my 3 grandbabies. My faith in God and so many wonderful friends and family.
They say the grieving of a child takes 5 -10 yrs!! I am praying it doesnt take me that long good grief!!! LOL6 -
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Good morning~ I have a day off today- hooray. Much needed. School has been awfully stressful but the students make me so happy and my heart so content.
Tomorrow will be 5 weeks AF for me. I just keep trudging along. Sometimes, I really resent that I can't drink. Last night, reading my LIVING magazine, there were a lot of fall cocktails, alcohol ads, wine articles, etc. It's not fair. Boo hoo for me. But it is what it is. I just can't have another day 1. That is enough of an incentive to stay away.
Wishing you a peaceful day. It's hard to feel peace during Covid and political angst. It's ok to cry too.
@dbanks80 I think of you and feel so sad for you and your family. Sending you warm hugs and lots of love.6 -
@RubyRed427, I get the resentment about missing out. As much as I am loving my sobriety and don't intend ever to give it up (Today is day 96, so I know I'm just a baby at this game), I don't care what Kate Bee or anybody says . . . an ice cold dry martini can taste mighty wonderful. Thus my fantasy of a once-a-year martini day. But keeping a daily journal really helps with that. Just last night I went back and re-read the whole darned thing starting June 15. There are enough entries about my motivations not to drink and how good I feel not drinking and how bad I felt drinking to more than balance out the "I wish I could have a martini" entries. For me, I'm finding that really yummy alcohol-free substitutes make a big difference.
Oh, my journal also has plenty of entries about the 2020 political and racial upheaval and the pandemic. I'm wondering if my grandchildren will read it as a matter of historical interest in addition to an account of a journey into sobriety. More likely I'll burn it at some point.5 -
Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.8
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@RubyRed427, I get the resentment about missing out. As much as I am loving my sobriety and don't intend ever to give it up (Today is day 96, so I know I'm just a baby at this game), I don't care what Kate Bee or anybody says . . . an ice cold dry martini can taste mighty wonderful. Thus my fantasy of a once-a-year martini day. But keeping a daily journal really helps with that. Just last night I went back and re-read the whole darned thing starting June 15. There are enough entries about my motivations not to drink and how good I feel not drinking and how bad I felt drinking to more than balance out the "I wish I could have a martini" entries. For me, I'm finding that really yummy alcohol-free substitutes make a big difference.
Oh, my journal also has plenty of entries about the 2020 political and racial upheaval and the pandemic. I'm wondering if my grandchildren will read it as a matter of historical interest in addition to an account of a journey into sobriety. More likely I'll burn it at some point.
I agree- a nice cold martini used to be my refuge and friend. Then, one starting to turn to 3 in a sitting. It was never enough; but I sure did enjoy that first sip!!!!
Look how amazing you are to have started AF living during covid. I think we deserve an extra gold star!
As for your journal of the 2020 political and racial upheaval PLUS the pandemic, there will hopefully be a happy ended for your grandchildren to see. I pray!
I have been taking long facebook breaks. I hate seeing certain posts and they make me boil. I have been on Twitter more and more; Twitter makes me laugh- people have pretty clever tweets. Pence's fly has 40,000 followers and it's pretty funny.
I heard a good quote: "I want to live one day at a time; then die one day at a time."2
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